A’Twitter for ‘Thrones

In between the three times I watched the premier episode of Game of Thrones last night and the one more time I watched it today, I logged on to Twitter and checked through the Twitter feeds that were hash-tagged #GameOfThrones.

I just wanted some opinions, and to see if I couldn’t perhaps discern a general consensus. And maybe mine a few small sources for a few cheap laughs.

And boy, that was like striking gold. Blackfish Blues suggested I make a post about these (sometimes spectacularly wrong) tweets. So really, this is her fault.

WARNING: the following Twitter remarks are completely unedited—and a lot of them aren’t exactly what you’d consider “sanitary.” THIS IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Also it’s long. And probably not safe for children either. PG-13 at best. Also, there are spoilers with regard to episode one, since these comments were tweeted by people while they were watching “Winter is Coming.” You’ve been warned.

The first one needs no introduction:

@mmamesu: たくさんの人が #GameOfThrones を観てくれますように。そんでもって、特に #seanbean を気に入ってくれますように(願望丸出し・笑)。

Pretty concise, no? Another came from Jennifer Ehle—our original Catelyn in Tom McCarthy’s original pilot shoot:

@jenniferehle: I will adore & admire the Winterfell kids forever & ever- they are amazing. Of course I’m going to watch!

I still love this woman. The kids do too! Extended GoT family FTW!

Also in the mix was Eugene Simon, our very own Lancel Lannister, who I do believe is currently on the west coast of the U.S. in the middle of filming something:

@Eugene_Simon: HEAR ME ROAAAAAR!!!!

Love it. NerdGirls were looking forward to it too. Believe it or not:

@PositivelyB: Okay, #GameofThrones, let’s go. Wow me with your #boyfiction talents.

As to topics… well they ranged far and wide.

The opening sequence got its deserved adoration:

@immiscibility: Watching #GameofThrones finally. Opening sequence gave me chills. So excited XD)

FaB: Good to see I’m not the only one.

Beheadings and general violence:

@eJoelWatts: That is what’s wrong with our society today – not enough beheadings by our elected officials

@falsemirror: They make quick with the stabbing, don’t they? #gameofthrones

Bran and his climbing:

@DrewCrowder: #gameofthrones kid is the prince of persia? I call shenanigans

@RyanJGrant: No climbing?!! That wall looks like it was designed for climbing!!! #GameOfThrones

FaB: He has a point – that one section of wall looked like it was made for climbing more than any other thing.

And wolves!

@rachyrooUK: @sky_atlantic the wolf cubs are dead cute! #GameofThrones and the young boy is a great actor.

The Hound’s helmet got some (confused) love:

@tyler_remmert: GIANT. METAL. PANTHER. SUIT. #WIN

FaB: It’s a hound, Tyle—ahh, never mind…

Costuming and design got some love:

@dattubadude: #GameOfThrones – cool set and costume design with great score. And a lot of cloaks.

@s_a_cosgrove: Now I want a fur-lined cape. Bad.

Sean Bean got the usual adoration (more adoration than I can count), plus … some of this:

@DrewnoD: I’m waiting for the hobbits to turn up and Boromir to kick some arse before ultimately betraying everybody #gameofthrones

@Zesmerelda: Disturbed that Boromir hasn’t washed his hair since LotR. #GameOfThrones

FaB: The LotR stuff will follow him his entire life. Which is great, seeing as it’s an Oscar-winning epic.

Dwarf sex was popular:

@sirkowski: #gameofthrones A dwarf getting a blow-job. I’m ok with this.

@davidmbarnett: Bit of dwarf sex, keep the ladies interested #gameofthrones

@Chris_Purnell6: What a lucky little fucker! :L #gameofthrones

@Wura_CrazySexy: Lmaoooooooooooooo the dwarf is getting head! Pahahahahahahahahahaha #GameofThrones

@iwards: Gives dwarf tossing a whole new meaning #gameofthrones

@JackStargatt: There is a midget fucking a hot girl. #wtf #GameOfThrones

FaB: he’s a dwarf, not a mid—ahhh, never mind. Uneducated louts. At least Esmé Bianco got some props.

Tyrion in general:

@markstay: Bloody hell, #GameofThrones was good! Peter Dinklage may now be my favourite actor.

@jillianbowe: Little person looks like Perez Hilton. #GameOfThrones

@Philly_Cowboy: lol this midget is a pimp #Gameofthrones

@glenn_rig_out: Eddie Izzard has got shorter #gameofthrones

@moviesbybowes: Ho. Lee. Shit. Peter Dinklage owns more than just about anything has ever owned.

FaB: Troo dat, Bowes.

Ser Rodrik’s muttonchops evoked passion:

@Miketakon: DAT BEARD PONYTAIL. #GameofThrones

@0bsidianSn0w: some great Beard action in episode one of #gameofthrones

@epiccomplicated: #gameofthrones im loveing the sideburn braid beard that guy had going on

A few rare Illyrio comments:

@richchat78: Roger Allam! Yay! With a beard that makes him look like a goat! Boooooo. #gameofthrones

@TheMichaelMoran: It’s not very slimming is it? that orange robe… #gameofthrones

FaB: I wonder what this guy would have thought if it had been Ian McNeice in that robe rather than Roger Allam.

The Dany / Drogo dynamic writ small:

@cdeminski: Uh oh, blondie doesn’t wanna get married. I think the guy was too swarthy for her, plus he wears a lotta eye makeup. #gameofthrones

Viserys got his due:

@OGCreep: #GameOfThrones “I would let all 40,000 men and their horses fuck you if thats what it takes.” Prince to sister» thats messed up

@billybarefoot: All 40,000!?!? Men and horses?! #GameofThrones

@Binky4666: Yup dude, u just pimped ur sister out to a bunch of murderous horny savages. She looks petrified as fuck #gameofthrones

@Allie0289: Wow! Who needs enemies when you have a brother like that? #gameofthrones

@robert_on_rye: Oh, thank god, bestiality reference! That was the only thing #GameofThrones was missing up until the 38 minute mark!

@0bsidianSn0w: What a lovely Brother Mr Blondie is !!! #gameofthrones And The Horses???? #Harsh

@mikeybumchin: Ok blonde wannabee king cn die after what he said he’d let happen to his sister #gameofthrones

@Big_Pants: Harry Lloyd is being super creepy. I like. #gameofthrones

@Captain_Wacky: I think Viserys was actually the standout character in that first episode. What a cock. #GameOfThrones

Someone hadn’t watched all the way to the end, apparently:

@niwandajones: Jamie is a much better brother than Viserys. #GoT #gameofthrones

Add a little Sansa…

@dotsara: Neat! Viserys and Sansa are as gross on screen as they were on the page. Well-done, actors. (: #gameofthrones

Sansa—always a polarizing figure:

@maggiesox: SHUT UP, SANSA. SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP. #GameOfThrones

@MeNaSePubs: Well, Sansa’s a pretty, empty-headed songbird, as in the novel. My opinion of the acting rises. #GameofThrones

@TokedStoked: poor little misguided red-headed girl. why are you attracted to that boy? he looks so skeevey. #GameOfThrones

@bibliotech: Sansa Stark! I love her story, it gets progressively awesome and awesomer. #gameofthrones

@hodgman: Now I have to write. But one POST-SCRIPT: there absolutely IS an optimist in Game of Thrones. Her name is Sansa Stark.

FaB: Hey, if Hodgman likes you, you’re set.

Apparently Mark Addy is Mark Advert?

@keithy73: The King in #gameofthrones is that fat bloke off the Tesco adverts?

@LaureEve: Mark Addy is bleeding unrecognisable. Jeebus! #gameofthrones

But it’s pretty much agreed he knocked the role out of the park:

@NatsWP: I really enjoyed Game of Thrones tonight. Had to turn away at a few bits but loved sean bean and mark addy. Hope it stays good.

@socleveromg: Holy shit they made Mark Addy look rugged as f%@#$

@badacae: “All I wanted to do was crack skulls and fuck girls.” #mylife #GameofThrones

The British North got its share of love:

@Grotticia: How come the daughter sounds like she’s just left Rodean yet the boys are all “ecky thoomp”? #gameofthrones

@Rickallden: #gameofthrones Sean Bean had some ace pro-Northern anti-soft Southern Jessie lines. Part of his contract, I hear.

@richchat78: Suddenly a lot of female nudity and dwarf sex. Could be Sheffield. #gameofthrones

Some Dany love. And uh … other stuff:

@melicorn: Dany is perfect. My biggest worry relieved. #gameofthrones #fb

@kitchen: mmmmmmmm Daenerys. #gameofthrones

@DaleFTW: I shall marry Emilia Clarke.

@DrewnoD: I can’t remember Cate Blanchett being that naked #gameofthrones

@NerdAndAHalf: ‘She’s neglected to wear ye oldie bra!’ – my brother #gameofthrones

@c0rnflakegirl: EMILIA FUCKING CLARKE, WHY SO FUCKING GORGEOUS???

@NerdAndAHalf: Sweetheart, you are not a natural blonde. #gameofthrones

FaB: I may have had a misleading glance (or perhaps just wishful thinking on my part—in a non-skeevy “I must have realism” way of course) but it seemed to me the carpet did not mismatch the drapes, so to speak. #againwiththemerkins #APOIAFwillneverletmelivethisdown

Drogo too. Sort of. Though a lot of it has to do with him being shirtless:

@allflicker: There are probably 1000 Dothraki words alone for huge pecs #GameofThrones

@melikescolors: Jason Momoa is on Games of Thrones! Too happy! And with his shirt off! lol

@mcgee_gorgo: Drogo looks like Mike the Situation grew a ponytail and raided John Barrowman’s cosmetics cabinet. #gameofthrones

@grabmyhelmet: Jason Momoa was fierce with the ~*~looks~*~. :D

The BOYS got some love; the topless Jon / Robb / Theon hair-and-beard shearing scene was popular:

@igobymanynames: Oh God naked torsos and the prettyboys talking about making themselves PRETTY for the King #Forrealz #GameOfThrones

@kbato: FMK: Theon Greyjoy, Robb Stark, Jon Snow

@funkyisha: Robb Stark, Jon Snow and Jaime Lannister –UNFFF

@CHEEK_MUNDY: Jon Snow you are quite delectable, I’ll go over the wall for you anytime;) #Gameofthrones #HBO

@vegantrix: I’m afraid I’m going to have to steal that Snape “MY BODY IS READY” gif for all of my Robb Stark blogs. WHY SO HANDSOME?

@ShowPatrol: Robb Stark. Jon Snow. Theon Greyjoy HELLO! @GameOfThrones Long hair never looked so good

@isaprospero: jaime lannister is my guilty pleasure ngl. his sister can go diaf tho #gameofthrones

@PaunyX: Jaime Lannister es muy sexy

FaB: For the record I have no idea what FMK stands for. Do I want to know?

Rickon got a brief shout-out. I think?

@kitsunecaligari: Rickon Stark will be doing original selections by Randy Newman, on a piano made of direwolf bones #GameOfThronesSpoilers #starkpeoplegot….

Cersei gets her share of love and hate. Mostly love! What the hell! Sickos…

kbato: I think Lena Headey killed it as Cersei

@Badgerbiscuit: Boobs, Gore and Now Lena Headey!!!!!!!!!! Why Virgin? Why do you not have Sky Atlantic???

@JayTeeBlaze: Apparently, Lena Headey’s ass is so good it’ll make you kill a 10 year old with zero hesitation.

@di_br: I hate Lena Headey for making me like Cersei! #GameofThrones

@ArleighTSL: Lena Headey as Queen Cersei makes royal condescension hot. #GameofThrones

@wtvoc: ANOTHER SPOILER: QUEEN CERSEI IS A BITCH.

FaB: The “Lena Headey’s ass is so good” quote is full of win. But I’m not sure if Lena would thank that dude or punch him.

Michelle Fairley is winning a fuckton of support:

@wistful_ Jo: The hearttree was sooo gorgeous! And I officially take back my reservations about Michelle Fairley-She’s amazing! #GameOfThrones

@Amy_Marie97: Emilia Clarke was absolutely perfect as Dany. And Peter Dinklage? Bloody brilliant. And finally, my favorite of the night – Michelle Fairley

@lusis: The actress playing Catelyn Stark is a BRILLIANT choice.

Arya gets her Arya love as usual. Like who dislikes Arya? She’s kick-ass.

@blodia: Seriously though, Maisie Williams is perfect. She brought Arya to life exactly as I saw her. #GameofThrones

@themediumbus: Maisie Williams was perfect for Arya. She is how I pictured her. Hope #GameofThrones stays close to the book.

@travisyanan: Arya Stark FTW #GameofThrones

Of course you can’t please everyone; especially people who should never have kids:

@Longasc: By the way, all of the Stark kids are annoying. The little Lannister as well. But maybe I just don’t like kids. Especially Arya!

Hodor got some love and he wasn’t even really onscreen for long:

@Iron_Spike: Jeez. The casting for Game of Thrones is so fucking good that I recognized Hodor on sight, and he wasn’t even introduced in the episode.

@Nathan_nowinHD: no #hodor this week though :( let me know what you think!

FaB: As though Hodor is the only reason to watch! Well… he might be a BIG reason.

The Dothraki wedding was popular:

@m2the3rdpwr: Waiting on omens my ass… Looks like a gangrape to me… Oh ish that’s a wedding smh #gameofthrones

@0bsidianSn0w: I hope Wills & Katie get some Dragon Eggs as a gift for their wedding! #Gameofthrones

@RyanJGrant: Dragon eggs? More like unripe pineapples! #GameOfThrones

FaB: Hey, I liked those eggs!

Dany’s after-wedding experience was certainly noticed:

@lafemmeluna: Aaaaaaaaaaand I’m traumatized. Poor, little princess. ;_; #GameOfThrones

@Chris_Purnell6: He will break her #gameofthrones

Speaking of traumatized—a lot of quick blips right around the time “The things I do for love” popped onto the screen:

@bastylefilegirl: Awww damn incest o_O #GameofThrones

@TokedStoked: ewwwwwwwwww it’s even worse than incest it’s TWINCEST! whoever wrote #GameOfThrones is fucked up

@fleela: So glad I can now say #brotherfucker without spoiling #GameofThrones for anyone.

@davidsworlduk: That’s what you call brotherly love #gameofthrones

@unrealityshout: How vain can you get, shagging your own twin? I thought that was rather inspired! #GameOfThrones

@meggo_ello87: So I take it they aren’t siblings? #GameofThrones

FaB: That one didn’t exactly get it, huh. It should be noted the Twitter icon for @meggo_ello87 is the large orange Tennessee Volunteers “T”. #justsayin

Where were we? Oh yes. Twincest and Bran.

@shay4mo: AWWW SHIT #GameOfThrones

@ElyssaPapa: What?! No!!!!! #gameofthrones

@NerdAndAHalf: WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK?!!!! YOU CAN’T PUSH CHILDREN OFF TOWERS, YOU WANKER!!!!!!!! #gameofthrones

@watchinharrison: Omg that bastard! That dirty sister fucking bastard!!

@ijustlovespn: R.I.P. Bran though #GameOfThrones :(

@GemmiePlum: Whaat?!!! The kid was murdered by those nasty sister-fucking Lanister or whatever his name is?! Smh the things white pple do #GameOfThrones

@MissSadieJones: Just asked Jim if he loves me so much he would shuv a 10yr old boy out of a window. he said `no’ i think that’s a good thing #gameofthrones

@0bsidianSn0w: What did his Mother tell him about climbing…….. silly boy! #gameofthrones

@DMGilchrist: That’s what that kid gets for not minding his own damn business. #GameOfThrones

@CoachBenWelch: #GameofThrones was awesome but seriously… what’s with that ending

@albanystreet: Worth watching #GameOfThrones for that ending – hilarious!

@Jodiejugs: #gameofthrones WOW! I love it but am already hoping the boy didn’t land on the wolf

FaB: We care about Summer too. Him and those ridiculously cute radar-shaped ears.

Oh, and:

@JoryCassel: … Has anyone seen Bran?

And of course, the most popular Twitter discourse of the evening: a running commentary on good ol’ fashioned boobage:

@Booshette: I FEEL LIKE I’M GETTING WHIPLASH BETWEEN ALL THE BOOBS AND MURDER AND BOOBS AND MEAT AND WOLVES AND BOOBS #GAMEOFTHRONES

@Mr_Wolfman: Just watched episode 1 of #gameofthrones. Lots of boobage, including almost underage boobage, and Jason Momoa bein fucking MASSIVE. Wicked.

@NerdAndAHalf: So… those are a pair of women’s breasts, and that’s Narnia ruined for the rest of my life. #gameofthrones

@Lmcaok: Husband watching #gameofthrones, wonder why when there has been 5 naked ladies in 5mins and 1 close up boob shot in HD…

@td_rules: I thought to myself why the US would be into a gritty Medieval drama, but it’s just fucking and boobs. #okaywiththis #gameofthrones

@JackStargatt: Yay, more boobies! #GameOfThrones

@shtupsamno1care: SO MANY BOOBS #GameofThrones

@tameblue: Definitely more boobs than Lord of the Rings #gameofthrones

Some overall final impressions:

@_RavenWays: Oh my God this is filthy *shocked face* #GameOfThrones

@ajpickering: How did they afford this?!#gameofthrones

@cimota: #gameofthrones Feck, that was dark.

@skdooosh: THAT WAS KINDA SICK #GAMEOFTHRONES

@TBanyard24: Everyone is disturbingly good looking in #gameofthrones (editor: Hey, this ain’t the CW!)

@hambers: Am I surprise that the swarthy looking chaps on #GameOfThrones act rather thuggishly and the fairskinned ones are refined? #1900Stereotype.

@RigilKent: Damn … HBO knocked it out of the park. Game of Thrones freaking rules. #gameofthrones

@LaureEve: Peter Dinklage high-larious. Questionable blonde wigs. An alarming amount of beheading. Intrigue up to the eyeballs. #gameofthrones rules!

@KCoxDC: Dany’s a way more interesting character live than in the book. And Tyrion still gets the best lines. #gameofthrones

@RyanJGrant: Fuck boars, hunt whores #GameOfThrones #RapLyrics

@HeyRusty: #gameofthrones should’ve been called ‘How to Kill Kids and Rape Women’. Pretty decent, ‘tho!

@GeorgeWebster: Loving the art direction on #gameofthrones and the acting has improved, lots of breasts, a midget and jokes about booze. Me likey.

@BlarneyOShite: The plot thickens and so does quite a few penises up and down the country. #Gameofthrones

@oliverpowell: Can’t stand up for a while. Too…urrr.. Excited. #gameofthrones

FaB: Please note that Oliver Powell still wants to be on the show. And I’m behind him! Not in front of him.

More? Okay:

@AuroraLee: Okay #GameofThrones was awesome! watch it. Just not with your parents. ;)

@alexmichelle: My question for medieval fantasy series is always the same: Where do the runaway horses go?! What happens to them?!! #GameOfThrones

@eht76: The Lannisters were too nice! Really good job overall tho. Loved the English accents. #GameOfThrones

@autumneffect: Dude. @GameOfThrones on @HBO is already better than Starz’s Camelot. #gameofthrones

@jodyray25: Still buzzing over #GameofThrones, I think picking up HBO was a great idea.

@AustinMovieSnob: Really pleased to read and hear how many of the die hard #GameofThrones fans like the series so far.You haven’t seen anything yet. :)

FaB: Trust this man! He’s a renowned critic!

Whew. That was a lot of work.

I love Twitter.