Can’t wait ’til the March release of the Game of Thrones DVD? Dying for something to whet your whistle while you stew for season 2 to land in April? Does your need for Donald Sumpter—any Donald Sumpter—override your usual common sense?
Never fret, Gatewatch loyalists! FaBio here, with a heaping helping of films and shows suggested for your perusal and consumption. “But FaB,” you cry. “Why would we even be interested in anything not Game of Thronesey?”
Ah, but that’s the trick! They are Thronesey—since they feature actors from the cast of GoT. So you might be interested in…
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Dec 21, ’11): Murder! Intrigue! Sex! A soundtrack by Trent Reznor! As well as Donald Sumpter in the role of Detective Gustav Morell. Looks frickin’ sweet, if by “sweet” I actually mean completely freaky and hardcore and slightly badass.
The Iron Lady (Jan 6, ’12): Meryl Streep is already a frontrunner for the Oscar nod in the role of British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, but our eyes will be peeled for the amazing Harry Lloyd as young Denis Thatcher, and Susan Brown, our beloved septa, in the role of June.
Underworld Awakening (Jan 12, ’12): Possible proof that Tywin Lannister is undead; Charles Dance has a yet-unnamed role in the bloodsucking Underworld franchise. I’m guessing he plays a vampire. But it’s a pretty good guess, right?
Junk: (Feb 4, ’12) This sci-fi thriller (set in a world where all drugs are legal) boasts not one, not two, but three Thrones alum: Harry Lloyd, Gethin Anthony, and Josef Altin are all featured in this sucker. There’s no way I’m missing it.
Bel Ami (March 2, ’12): Sure, the Robert Pattinson fans may be screaming for something other than a Twilight film, but I find this story much more compelling—especially since it costars Natalia Tena as Rachel in this Parisian tale of old.
Mirror Mirror (March 12, ’12): Sure, many people are calling this the sad cousin to the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman. But this movie, a comedy, actually managed to crown Ned Stark, so I’m calling it better. That’s right—our very own Sean Bean will be featured in the role of The King. Dude has Julia Roberts for his wife. That’s good, right?
(Also on Sean’s platter is another Peter Pan redux in which he plays the role of—I couldn’t believe it either—Captain Hook’s crony Smee, not to mention stepping back into the boots of Zeus for the Percy Jackson sequel.)
The Cold Light of Day (April 6, ’12): Benjen and Superman together? Why not? Joseph Mawle stars with Henry Cavill, Bruce Willis, and Sigourney Weaver in this kidnap thriller set in Spain.
Bullet To The Head (April 13, ’12): The Khal rides again! Jason Momoa stars as Keegan in this Sylvester Stallone cop-meets-hitman love fest. Christian Slater also stars, but seriously… you had me at Momoa and Stallone.
Other interesting GoTcast movies that come after April or don’t have release dates as yet:
Knights of Badassdom: The release date keeps getting changed, but surely they can take advantage of Peter Dinklage and his Emmy to actually get this thing to come out, right? Co-starring Ryan Kwanten, Steve Zahn, and Summer Glau? About LARPers? Yes please.
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D: More for Sean Bean, who will reprise his role as Christopher Da Silva and will star alongside Kit Harington, who will play Vincent. No, we don’t need another cheap 3D movie. But a chance to see Ned and Jon together one last time? I might pay to see that.
(Also for Kit in the far-far future is his turn as King Arthur in Arthur & Lancelot, now in pre-production. Jon becomes king!)
Prometheus (8 June ’12): Not only does this Alien prequel by Ridley Scott boast some already-amazing talent (Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Noomi Rapace, Idris Elba, Guy Pierce…) but it also features two Thrones alum, Kate Dickie and Emun Elliott. Perhaps Lysa and Marillion are fated to meet after all!
Dredd: Can anything be better than Sylvester Stallone’s depiction of Judge Dredd? We’re kind of betting on it. The bonus being that Lena Headey will be playing the villainous Madeline “Ma-Ma” Madrigal. Can’t wait to see the scars. Oh, wait, here are some pics!
Mama: A horror flick starring Jessica Chastain and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. What happened to those girls in the forest??
Shadow Dancer: Littlefinger might like this. Aiden Gillen will costar along with Clive Owen and Gillian Anderson in this rebellious IRA-based thriller.
Borgia: This series (not to be confused with Showtime’s The Borgias) is ongoing, and features John Bradley as Giovani De Medici! Brought to us by Canal+ and filmed in beautiful Prague, it also stars The Wire‘s John Doman as Rodrigo Borgia.
Great Expectations stars Mark Addy in the role of Pumblechook. This project is filming as we speak.
Titanic: Blood and Steel: A television series about… the Paint Hall in Belfast? Well why not?! Ian McElhinney will play Sir Henry Carlton in this tale about White Star Lines and the great and tragic ship it built.
So there you have it, your slightly-complete list of must-see GoTcast entertainment for 2012. (This is where you all chime in and add to my list. Unless you’re willing to concede, finally and without remorse, that I am brilliant and know more than any of you!)
Who’s excited for what?