Honor in Re-Tweet
By Fire And Blood on in Editorial, Humor.

Twit!

I normally give you my “blah blah blah” about how the tweets were compiled (@Axechucker, @The_Rabbit01), but I’m not even going to do that right now. Instead I’d like to take the time to say holy BLEEPING HELL PEOPLE SURE DO CURSE A LOT ON TWITTER.

It feels like it’s progressively getting worse.

Or maybe I’m getting old.

Either way, I would like to also take the time and space provided to me to say this post is not intended for children. Not that I think a lot of children read it. Some might. But just in case. You were &$@#ing warned. This Twitter post for the Game of Thrones episode “A Man Without Honor” is rated R. There’s violence, cussing—and a mention of arses!


It was Mother’s Day, so of course we got an appropriate number of holiday-themed comments:

@mwdiddy: Feel bad for Jon Snow on Mother’s Day

@pourmecoffee: I hope the dragons got Daenerys something nice for Mother’s Day.

@FYWinterfell: Catelyn Stark is probably gonna have a less than special Mother’s Day…

@JohnnyCables: Cersei is definitely not getting a Happy Mother’s day card from Joffrey. #incesttweet

The Cogmeister Meistercogger let us know how special this episode would be:

@bryancogman: Tonight on @HBO: a very special Mother’s Day episode of #GameofThrones

And in some non-NFL related news:

@richeisen: You know your wife is watching too much Game of Thrones when she wants a direwolf for Mother’s Day.

It’s good to be Rich. Speaking of rich:

@AlyssCampanella: #AManWithoutHonor. 9 pm. Let’s do this.

She is the smartest Miss USA winner ever!

@JimmyBass2: @AlyssCampanella Just Glad someone besides me enjoys @GameofThrones

It’s just you and Alyssa, dude.

Some people do odd things to prepare for the show:

@heyjulieann: Pre-#gameofthrones constitutional.

@MercifulMalaca: I’m gona watch #gameofthrones drunk and naked i hope no one minds

@_Coolest_Nerd: Who just got Retweeted by #GameofThrones? #ThisNerd!

Us too! What’s cooler?

And what was Talisa doing?

@OonaCC: While you guys are watching #GameOfThrones tonight in the US of A, I will be eating Kit.

… Alrighty!

(I’m not sure if Sarah had a happy birthday, but Oona sure did.)

(… And Kit probably did too!)

@Ambassador_Curt: If only #OnceUponATime would go off, so we can get back to #GameOfThrones. This show is soooooooo lame.

Have to agree. I can’t stand that show. If it comes on I flee the room. What a colossal waste of Robert Carlyle.

Also, Jared Gilmore makes Hugo Culverhouse look like Lawrence freaking Olivier.

@seth410: 12 people here for my ‘watchin party, but just one bathroom. Talk about a #GameofThrones…

@YgrittetheWild: Taking bets on how many teats we’ll see this week!

@stevelang77: The question on everyones mind 4 minutes before #gameofthrones starts is…will Dinklage hang dong tonight?

Bro, it said partial nudity. You couldn’t have been expecting to see Tyrion’s hodor.

@AzuliaZebleaux: Can we see ANYONE ELSE SHIRTLESS ON THIS FUCKING SHOW?

‘Course. Just look closely whenever a street-level scene of King’s Landing pops up. There are usually like… five or six shirtless dudes.

Oh, what, that doesn’t count?

Screw all of you. Sexist hypocrites.

@MC_NotHammer: #GameOfThrones is on. Thought I’d let you know just in case you are interested in medieval bush.

I’m totally interested in that. Though really, as far as horticulture goes, I’m not sure bushes have changed too much over the years.

So we open at Winterfell—taken by the Ironborn—and we find Theon being Theon.

@TheFlyShyGirl: Idiot Theon time!

@lafemmeluna: Why is Theon still alive?

@Southern_Locs: Theoan starting to be a g

Theoan? That should be Thepwn. Because he’s owning u foolz

@ItsMarypace: JE.LE.DETESTE… Theon Greyjoy, I’ll kill you if I could.

@vivaciousvirgo: Theon just joined Joffrey on my “He gotta die” list.

Just now?

If he’s pissing you off now, just wait ’til the end of the episode.

@Astrid940: Theon Greyjoy makes king Joffrey look so good.

@IanH987: Greyjoys look like they stink!

@deinemuse: Theon – I won’t hurt them… no I mean I wont kill them… no I meant I wont talk mean to them. I dunno.

@nuclear_pavlova: Theon Greyjoy is just another good reason to dislike Lily Allen.

Snap.

Fleeing Winterfell, we join Bran, Rickon, Osha, and Hodor!

“Rickon’s nuts” may have been trending, and for two completely different reasons!

@Noozy642: that little bastard loves walnuts more than i’ve ever loved anything

@LyaStark: RICKON HAS LINES! Can’t believe it!

@AKA_Qthulhu: Rickon demands food!

@JennRoseFX: Behold the tv premier of Hodor’s nuts!! @KristianNairn #Hodor

Yes, Hodor got love too.

(He gets a lot of love for a dude with only one line. It’s the delivery!)

@NorisaurusRex: Hodor.

Hodor.

@bushwickbelle: gotta love the gentle giant #hodor

@acaitycat: HODOR, SWEET GIANT HODOR

@ghostwriterxx: I need a boyfriend like Hodor…can carry me around and doesn’t say much

@alwinex22: “Hodor *chuckles* Hodor” best line so far.

It’s early.

@TitanConBelfast: @KristianNairn @ArtRickonrockon @IsaacBranFlakes Natalie Tena – that scene rocked. Great Hodoring Hodor!

TITANCON has a lot of love to give. Love them. (Get’cher tickets now!)

Beyond the Wall, we catch up with Jon Snow and his new bestie Ygritte…

@HotMessMandy: Ygritte likes to talk about Jon’s penis. Ok I might like her.

@GeekGirlATX: I’d like Jon Snow to pull a knife on me in the middle of the night.

@samuraisupremo: They should add Jon Snow’s Pants as a location in thecredits, because what’shappening in there is very important lately.

@Jasmino924: Is “bone and stones” the new meat and potatoes?

That’s exactly what they are.

@YaraGreyjoy: It’s important to walk your wildling at least twice a day.

@reecyKup: Ha! Jon Snow needs to just hit that… It’s time.

@SueThePirate: “As if I’d feel sorry for them.” Ha. Suck it, horny bastards.

I felt like Ygritte sort of added that last part to be like, “…Just so you know I’m not a total skank.”

@CeleenPalm: Girl you’re seriously talking about blue balls? I knew you lacked class

@LL_Sequeira: Aw I really want Jon Snow to get laid now. He needs it.

@YaraGreyjoy: Stannis would be proud of Jon’s pedantry.

Stannis would also be proud of your vocabulary, Yara.

Balon? Not so much. Suck it, Ironborn!

@AKA_Qthulhu: Take us to Mordor, Ygritte!

I laughed the most at that one. I don’t know why!

Meanwhile, over at the Garden of Eden…

@HEELSherrod: Things are bright and cheery at Harranhal as usual..

@puppycatromp: Tywin is so sour partly ‘cuz of the fugly icky place he lives. Sweep up! Stop torturing people! Put up some cheery curtains!

@SueThePirate: My god, Gregor Clegane speaks! he can talk!

@lifesamixtape: Holy crap, The Mountain is enormous. #honestnickname

I’m still not bloody impressed. He feels stiff. I don’t see any inner rage. Stevens had rage. (Partly because he was a testosterone-fueled Aussie coont.)

To me, it feels like any quality Dornishman would destroy this new Mountain. And don’t even think to bring You-Know-Who into the conversation. Three-second fight.

@Frah84: The Brotherhood Without Banners!! Beric Dondarrion in da house!! YES YES YESSS

@heyjulieann: I know that feel Arya. I eat and don’t grow either, except for outward.

That gets worse with age, too.

@jaspercoolidge: Lord Tywon & Arya are conjuring memories of Mr. Drummond & Arnold I smell a spinoff

@amarettosaurus: Did Twyin just reference Jonquil? Oh my fangasm.

@DarthCK: “Most girls are idiots” -Arya Stark

@DanielKonikoff: I love you, Arya Stark

@LuvMe247: I think Arya Stark is gonna be a HUGE factor in how all this goes down this season

@NiceQueenCersei: ‘You remind me of my daughter?’ Daddy just insulted us both.

We value your opinion, Nice Queen Cersei.

@edknock: Charles Dance and Maisie Williams killing it in these Tywin/Arya scenes.

@acaitycat: I really do love Tywin, honestly. It’s scary.

@dieslaughing: Harrenhal History Boner.

This was not a sexposition!

@YaraGreyjoy: Tywin just stole Roose Bolton’s “m’lord” line.

Good thing, since Bolton is not at Harrenhal.

At King’s Landing, Sansa encountered the Hound in the halls and—

@HBObiter: Oh Sansa. Shut the fuck up.

What? Speak up! I can’t hear you through all the San/San shippers squealing across the length and breadth of the worldwide web.

Or screaming. Or bleating. Or… something.

@vcav: Sandor and Sansa YES! sansan shippers everywhere are peeing.

Or peeing.

@nucleus22: Sansa and the Hound would make a good couple. He needs somebody to love him. LOL!!

@SuperSportGirl: Beauty and the beast

@Rdizzle124: Dog is a fucking machine!

@DFergPR: @lesleyhogben its the eyes. Cold eyes of an evil muthaf*cka.

@SueThePirate: “Killing’s the sweetest thing there is.” Yessss, no Woobifying here of the Hound.

“Woobifying!” It sounds like something furries do. Like it’s foreplay to yiffing.

God, I blame the internet.

@jeffslaney: Serious crush on Sansa Stark

She’s underage! (Totally cool if you are too, I guess.)

Meanwhile in Qarth, Zoro Zohan Ducksauce is having his own problems (and a bitch is one of them)…

@jax1125: Khaleesi needs to hush! Your dragons are gone, you need allies.

@EyezrStarry: Denayres is not tryna hear that!! She wants her Dragons back ASAP!!!

@navi226: Florentine the missing tortoise pales into insignificance compared to missing dragons.

Reference please!

Catching up with the slow-moving Jon and Ygritte once more…

@Adele_Jones1: just like a man to get lost and refuse to ask for directions

@TooBadDiane: More Jon and Ygritte banter please.

@theminesofmoria: Gigglefit. I love Ygritte.

Rose Leslie is crushing it. Ygritte’s not just sexually torturing Jon, she’s also torturing the viewing audience, it seems:

@AM3R1CN: we need a two hour episode at some point please with some actual action scenes. sick of this G rating crap

I can imagine dude sitting in front of the TV and screaming, Git it awn awready!

@NorthRemembers: so glad Rose Leslie is doing a terrific job as Ygritte. My book-Ygritte always looked like Pipi Longstocking but now no longer.

@marcelanfarias: Agora quero #GameOfThrones!!! Igritte e Jonh xD kkkk

Ygritte may or may not have uttered five little words…

@hannahsearson: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” AAAHH!! SHE SAID IT! SHE SAID IT!!

@Chelsey_Hud: YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW!

@kelseyinrealife: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” x #ITSBEENSAID

@likeshine: Aaaaand, the first “you know nothing jon snow” of the series has occurred :p

@sarCCastro: I actually cheered when Ygritte said her catchphrase.

@vidge: “You know nothing, Jon Snow” may have just peed my pants in excitement

There was a lot of peeing going on today.

@YgrittetheWild: I think the internet says “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” more than I do.

There was a lot of “You know nothing, Jon Snow” going on today as well.

Meanwhile, at Robb’s camp, the King in the North and Talisa heated it up. With their eyes. Ssssssizzle.

@goddesspharo: Robb Stark’s MO is to smolder.

@CaroJohns84: Robb Stark is muy guapo.

@toleafgirl: Am I the only one who can’t tell Snow and Rob Stark apart?

Well they both have fantastic hair. But yes!

@Jasmino924: I feel like everyone in #GameofThrones can be described as either : gay, incestuous or ‘has got really great hair’.

@BlackTribbles: The Start boys are cute, but they’re stupid. Me no likey.

So the Start boys need to stop?

(I didn’t have anything better than that. Sorry. Quick, five bucks for the best comeback!)

@BinaDouble07: Oh FFS. Talise The Snotty Medic. Almost as annoying as Shae The Funny Whore and Sexposition Ros.

@_Ayers5: This nurse bitch is hot fire

@NiceQueenCersei: Robb Stark is currently eye fucking. So much for war eh? When you can dip your sword in more pleasant places.

NICE QUEENS DO NOT SAY THE “F” WORD.

(In public.)

Back outside of Winterfell, Theon lost the Stark boys’ trail. But Dagmer finds Rickon’s nuts, and he seems to get an idea…

(Wait, isn’t that what Reek did? HMMM.)

Back at Qarth, Ser Jorah returns! Iain Glen has his fans, to be sure.

@politicsismybf: Is there such a thing as a Daenerys and Ser Jorah shipper? Cause I’m definitely one.

@InSilentTears: Why do you scorn him Dany? WHY

@alwinex22: JORAH MORMONT MORE LIKE JORAH FUCK ME MORMONT #notevensorry

@YgrittetheWild: I think I heard a whip crack when @DanyTargaryen_’s head turned to glare at Jorah.

@ilpaesaggista: Calisi was too much of a bitch right there

She’s testy, to be sure. But she’s lost a lot. I’d be testy too!

We go back—once more—to Jon and Ygritte, north of the Wall…

@heyjulieann: Jon Snow is the most lost. The lost-est.

@DapperTrav: John Snow is about to fall for the red head…smh…the power of the box…

@Tlieso: @HBO Ygritte is everything that I hoped she’d be & more.

@CaroReviewsIt: AND where the fuck is Ghost???

GHOST: U DONT OWN ME

@CAPTEARS: Too cold to be fuckin in the snow b

@avakiai_ak47: You sad sad virgin you, Jon Snow.

@FunmbiE: I don’t know if I love this girl for trying to get Jon Snow naked or if I hate her for it…

@harley_summers: The new ginger lass is my new favourite character and no not just cos shes ginger

@acaitycat: Ygritte is fucking brilliant, haters know nothing

There aren’t many haters that I can see!

@Magiz: OMG this redhead. So amazing. John Snow wasn’t ready for her.

@CaroReviewsIt: So Jon Snow is going to come undone by Emma Stone’s doppelgänger?

All redheads are not equal, bro. Emma Stone is talented, charismatic… and maybe half as charming as Rose Leslie. On a good day.

@flawlesstracks: This dude Jon Snow scared of pussy!!!!

@mrashtontaylor: John Snow just got a lesson in women. #thinkaboutit

@awarriorssoul: Poor Jon Snow – she is played him like a game of chutes and ladders

I’ve never thought of the name of that game in sexual terms until now.

Great.

So Sansa had a really bad dream that turned out to be only slightly worse than her reality…

@daymanroyster88: Worst. Period. Ever.

@Jasmino924: Pretty sure this is almost every woman’s reaction to their first period

@burjz: I hysterically sobbed when I got my 1st period bc that meant I had 2 be forced in2 a loveless marriage too, Sansa. It ok, grl

@HEELSherrod: Hey…nothing suspicious goin on here with the two women flipping the bloody mattress over…#SayNothing

@aprilglick: Omg. Sansa just became a woman. Oh. Oh no. And Shae is a badass. A bad ass!!

@stranter: All hand maidens should pull a shank like Shae.

@heyjulieann: Surprisingly Shae may be the best handmaiden a girl could ask for.

That is surprising!

@BeautyBrienne: Oh like that’s not awkward at all. Hounds can scent blood.

@DeadRainbows: The Hound is always close at hand when you start menstruating

SMH.

So Sansa was brought before Cersei…

@RonenNYC: “Joffrey has always been difficult” understatement of the year.

@C0ffee0410: I HATE Cersei Lannister with all my heart, but she is quite gorgeous…

@Crazy__Clarissa: Oh god! Poor girl, I mean who would want Joferry’s kids

@_veritaserum: Ohhh Sansa you poor little Dove.

@RogueBelle: Poor Sansa looks so scared and broken. :(

@mrush353: I feel so bad for Sansa:(

Sophie Turner: gaining every fan that Larry Williams loses.

Throughout the broadcast, a certain name kept surfacing…

@CharlsieESQ: Put Jaime on the screen!

@peasantings: When was the last time Jaime’s been on screen? Like 8 weeks ago?

And then, as if in answer…

@mherr1979: JAIME. FINALLY.

@beng1978: JAIME! YAY!

@mille319: Oh Jaime, I’ve missed you!

@portiagabrielle: I love Jaime

@billiwilliams: JAMIE! It’s been too long

@MaesterPycelle: Glad you remember Alton Jaime cos we don’t :(

Well you’re old. He was just in King’s Landing, dude!

@reginathorn: This guy REALLY looks like Gendry but he’s fanboying Jaime. TOO CONFUSING!

Karl Davies is a tad bit Joe Dempsiesque. If Joe Dempsie had a longer face and wore his hair in a fauxhawk.

(Okay, someone needs to send a memo down to hair-and-makeup and remind them that male hair gel probably did not exist in Westeros.)

@wzawooha: “There’s only one fat Lannister!”

And apparently she’s not married to a Frey and her name is Cinda instead of Genna. Details.

@aprilglick: My mind is actually melting over how good the changes are from the books.

@Frah84: Jaime mentioning Barristan Selmy ALL THE FEELINGS

On one hand I’m glad this sort of reminds the audience about Selmy, and tells me we’re probably getting a Whitebeard. On the other hand, I kind of miss Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning.

So much for the Tower of Joy, eh?

The scene was pretty much brilliant though. Props to Coster-Waldau and Davies.

@Jennarata: Jamie learned that from Oz.

@Trgilly: I’ve come to realize nothing good ever happens on #gameofthrones

@Dai_Kitty: That was super not in the book but I actually like it haha

@thelastdisciple: WHOA WHOA WHOA

@JrrdWllms: WHAT THE FUCK?!?

@keity_rich: Oh shit!

@TinPanAlley: Wow.

@danielle17dst: I knew it @mswinbk! I knew this poor kid was a goner!!!

@omgclara: Fucking hell, Jamie Lannister went full Jack Bauer.

I think you have to be screaming something to technically be considered Full Jack Bauer.

@markduffy1980: Some freaky shit on #GameofThrones tonight

@C0ffee0410: Jamie Lannister isn’t one ounce of shit.

@Ms_Rena: I see that sister fucker Jamie Lannister continues to be a evil piece of shit

@reecyKup: The Lannisters are evil people!

@MaesterPycelle: #OM7H Jaime you’re supposed to bang your relatives not kill them. *facepalms*

@NickARoth: Oh Jaime Lannister you sneaky bastard

@andressaholiday: Jaime you are a really good person

@BigDamnHerosSir: So, Season 1 we clung to the books. Season 2, we decided to discard them?

Wait for it…

Waaaaaaait for it…

@BigDamnHerosSir: Wait. Nevermind. I think there was a Kingslayer escape in the books. He kills the Karstark boys, doesn’t he?

Yes.

Back in Qarth, Ser Jorah dons his armor and goes to seek the masked Quaithe…

@LyaStark: You know shit’s going down when Jorah puts on his armor.

@YgrittetheWild: So I’m guessing that’s our brief nudity. Painted arse.

Painted arse!

@Alison0206: This lady in this face mask creeps me out!

@deinemuse: How can that mask be remotely comfortable?

@ChavezChavis: That mask is kind of cool. I need one like that for work!

@Only1EMARSH: “DRAW YOUR SWORD. SEE WHAT YOUR STEEL IS WORTH.” <-------BEST LINE TONIGHT!!!

@RogueBelle: Quaithe, you are freaking amazing. Can you be around always?

@Jasmino924: Dear Jorah, SUCK MY DICK, YOU TRAITOROUS ASSHOLE, sincerely, the fandom.

The fandom as a whole does not say “suck my dick!” I assure you!

Meanwhile, Dany confronts the Thirteen—a governing body that soon becomes the Two.

@BigDamnHerosSir: Ah, I love that Dark-City-looking, Undying jackass. He’s clearly dying. Not so much UNdying as SLOWLYdying.

@TitanConBelfast: WHAT. THE. FUCKING. FUCK???? An alliance between Ducksauce and Pyat Pree? #NeverSawThatOneComing

@RollingDiceDan: I knew that blue lipped Bastard took those dragons.

So did everyone. Except Lex.

@peacefrogdesign: OMFG WATTTT

@BrazenlyVirile: man. what the hell?

@TweetsOpenDoors: What……the……hell

@zoendOut: Wtf is happening?!?!?

@ASchrieber: #GameofThrones is intense. Too much blood for me.

@MollyAGoGo: the fuck just happened in #GameOfThrones? Who’s the dissapearing Grandad?

@johnnyxl: Nice use of Mirror Image spell by the Mage dude

Dungeons & Dragons reference for the win. Except it’s not. Because EVERYONE knows a Mirror Image spell can’t be used to deal damage! What are you, retarded?!

I’m kidding. Seriously, what level you figure Pree has to be to pull that off? Plus you’ve probably got to take a Feat with some hellacious prerequisites in order to kill with an illusion…

@heyjulieann: I am not ready for the house of the undying.

@BKrigster: Think the House of the Undying is definitely one to avoid

You may feel that way, but luckily for us the show does not!

So back at Robb’s camp, the gray light of dawn heralds the fact that the Kingslayer has been caught! It takes the iron will of Catelyn Stark and the steely, bug-eyed gaze of Michelle Fairley to keep Jaime’s head attached to his shoulders!

@vivaciousvirgo: Honestly, did Jamie think he’d get far?

@Jherane_: I really like Lady Stark, she’s probably my fav female character right now.

@BigDamnHerosSir: “Bind him w/every chain you can find”"You’ve become a real she-wolf in your later years. Not much fish left in you”"Gag him!”

@wispa9: LOVE YOU CATELYN.

@alwinex22: CATELYN BAMF STARK EVERYONE I AM CHOKING IN MY TEARS

We skipped back to King’s Landing, where Tyrion met with Cersei. Weirdly, this may have been the first episode I didn’t see 800 “TYRION IS A G!” tweets. Probably because he didn’t appear until the 50th minute.

@mrush353: “It’s hard to put a leash on a dog, once you put a crown on it’s head.”

@TonySolo: Holy shit almost a tender moment there

@beng1978: Stop trying to make Cersei likeable!! Missing the point

Anyone who says “trying to make Cersei likeable” is missing the point. I could really dig into this, but… this is already long and there are other tweets to attend to!

We zoomed back to Robb’s ever-tempestuous camp, where it did not appear Jaime Lannister was long for this world…

@amarettosaurus: OMH JAIME AND BRIENNE IN THE SAME PLACE ALL MY FEELS RIGHT NOW

Unintentional spelling LOL in 3… 2… 1:

@mherr1979: Thank god, Jaime’s sense of humor is in tact!

It’s not. Actually.

Clearly there is zero tact involved.

@bitterxxheroics: Jamie Lannister thank you for showing me why I love to hate you.

@MulletTache: Nikolaj Coster Waldau is fantastic.

@politicsismybf: I want to be alone with Jaime Lannister too, Catelyn.

@bellie7: “Is that a woman?” Ahahaha! Oh Jaime!

@heyjulieann: SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH JAIME LANNISTER.

@mrush353: So, Jaime has only been with his sister. Sweet.

@KamalaLane: Jamie Lannister is such a jerk! He’s cocky 24/7.

You love him, Kamala. You know you do.

So the end of the episode happened. Reaction was not mixed.

@ThroMyEyez: oh wow

@BrazenlyVirile: man. what the hell?

@ChunkyLover5246: What. The. Frak.

@mynameismadio: NO FUCKING WAY!

@emsley89: Did that just happen?!?!

@STX21: WHAT THA……….HOLY SHIT THEON WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???? IDIOT!!!

@DreaLucia: WHAT!? NOOOO

@Danatech: #GameofThrones Nooooooo stupid Reek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Reek, it rhymes with geek.

@babttz: Die Die Die Theon ! t’es un minable …

@HotMessMandy: Um. So Theon went to KFC and order the crispy fired version of the Stark Kids?

@courageousgrace: UGH. Theon, I am SO disappointed in you. Now even the fact that you remind me of Ron Weasley can’t save you.

@heyjulieann: Poor Maester Luwin.

@ClassicCrawley: #GameofThrones WOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH!

@almostachemist: FUCK YOU THEON I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS

@SophieJoWasson: SO SHOCKED! Can it be true?!

@fuzzcaminski: Ruddy hell, he can’t have really killed one of the boys can he?

@aldenmusic: Bran…Rickon….NOooOOOooOOoOooOO

@daedalusesq: OH FUCK. MORE LIKE THE TWO.

@mrjamieeast: Right someone better tell me that wasn’t who I thought it was at the end of #GameofThrones or I might cry.

It totally was. Go have your cry, milad—uh, ser.

@StephFerenci: They are not allowed to be dead. Those were the orphan boys. I’ve decided. Theon is an idiot.

@JennFoley: Very VERY odd with Theon right now #gameofthrones #bawling

@HBObiter: Theon could kill everyone off this show and I still wouldn’t be able to take him seriously.

@hannahsearson: Oh, good, so instead of rape and torture, we’re left with the charred corpses of 2 little boys. Joy. : |

What is dead may never be raped or tortured.

So what does everyone think, here in the golden glow of aftermath?

@mwilliamsf1: Brutal.

@PeachJay: Theon must die, farken imbecile. *sigh*, gotta wait another 7 days for a new episode.

@VanDerWard: Oh my word what an episode, Game Of Thrones is getting deeper and deeper

@apoolhallace: That episode was amazing. Especially the music the episode ended on.

@CaraSeidl: #GameofThrones continues to shock and disturb. I can’t look away!

@missbriannie: I wish #GameofThrones would stop changing the goddamn plot. IT MAKES ME RAGE.

Which plot? There are like twenty.

Wait, plots and schemes?

@BellaKarma: Now excuse me, I now have to talk @LaPetiteSirene down from the ceiling.

Go do that.

The rest of you—join me next week for another Twitter recap! Peace!


68 Comments

  1. Joe Blanche
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 7:48 am | Permalink

    I will be eating Kit. that was classic from Oona.

  2. Critical Geek
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:06 am | Permalink

    It’s been said before, it’ll be said again. The tweet recap is my favorite thing you guys do here.

  3. Joshua Taylor
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:10 am | Permalink

    Yeah my favorite post of the week! Considering the civil wars going on in the recap threads all of the time.

  4. Pau Soriano
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:28 am | Permalink

    I just heard an interview with Natalia Tena (she’s awesome as always) and she was saying she really connected with Oona Chaplin…

    I hate Talisa (Westeros Matahari? Talihari?) but I really like Oona ;)

  5. Tar Kidho
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:33 am | Permalink

    I’m staying out of the recap civil wars and actually find myself really liking Talisa. And if Oona can eat Kit, then I say I am allowed to at least lick Talisa!

    (btw, thanks again FaB for a great job)

  6. Yellow Dog
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:42 am | Permalink

    Best twitter recap yet. I don’t know how you do it. I tried to follow #Gameofthrones after the show and just couldn’t keep up. :-)

  7. Eleanor
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:58 am | Permalink

    Ooh, I know this one! Florentine the missing tortoise is a tortoise who wandered away from her garden just down the road from me. I think the hashtag is #dartrytortoise. The family started a social media campaign to try to find her.

  8. Nagga's Kin
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:09 am | Permalink

    @mrush353: “It’s hard to put a leash on a dog, once you put a crown on it’s head.”

    @SelfLoathingQueenCersei: Don’t be sad the boy’s gone mad, two out of three ain’t half bad. An heir and a spare, right? #pregnantpause

  9. The Red Wedding
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:12 am | Permalink

    I want to see ” you know nothing Jon snow ” A few more times before the season ends

  10. Isabelle
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:15 am | Permalink

    I LOVE THESE!!!

    I love how Gwendoline Christie was the first person to comment on Oona’s Kit Cake. Jon’s making his way through the ladies of Westeros all right.

    Favourite tweet:

    @samuraisupremo: They should add Jon Snow’s Pants as a location in thecredits, because what’shappening in there is very important lately.

    Honourable mention for #OM7H:

    @MaesterPycelle: #OM7H Jaime you’re supposed to bang your relatives not kill them. *facepalms*

  11. Langkard
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:17 am | Permalink

    FaBio made me look the word “yiffing” up on the internet and I now want to claw my eyes out. Bad FaBio!

  12. cute
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:29 am | Permalink

    During the tv emission Tywin and Arya. And Jaime Lannister were trending topics.

  13. Nagga's Kin
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    @stranter: All hand maidens should pull a shank like Shae.

    Yes, a truly excellent move when you’re supposed to keep flying under Cersei’s radar!

  14. Udi
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:39 am | Permalink

    Love these as always. Can’t wait to see the reactions on Twitter to all the WTF moments on GoT and this episode certainly had those! Great thread! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  15. Hear Me Roar
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:50 am | Permalink

    Thanks for the great but tiresome job!

  16. Macha
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:56 am | Permalink

    Bless this post. I’m gonna miss the hell out of these recaps in-between seasons.

    @courageousgrace: UGH. Theon, I am SO disappointed in you. Now even the fact that you remind me of Ron Weasley can’t save you.
    Whaaaaa? LOL.

  17. Hilda
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 10:03 am | Permalink

    OMG! I say this every week…I will continue to say it,BUT these tweets make day,my week!
    Fab,are you married? You want to get married? Ok forget marriage…I LOVE you…no not stalkerish…but really the shit you say is just as fricken hilarious as these peoples tweets!

    One little tiny gripe though: Once upon a time totally rocks! YES,I said it! What are YOU going to do about it!

    I wish the Walking Dead would do this…post all the tweets from its fans! Because lets face it The Walking Dead and GoT are the two best shows on tv!
    Anyways,simply amazing,hilarious tweets. Glad I am not reading these at work because I would so be fired from the amount of laughing/crying I do.
    Keep up the great work Fab!

  18. The_Rabbit01
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 10:06 am | Permalink

    Yellow Dog,

    heh.
    I ll tell you how it is!
    Usually on Sunday evenings (afternoons for FaBio) F. sits in front of his computer and starts to Re-tweet.
    Approximately after 15 minutes, Twitter bans him.

    Then, some hours later, with the first light of dawn, in a distant land across the pond, a rabbit wakes up and starts retweeting.
    Twitter never bans him. (HER, pardon).

    Same day, in the evening (evening for the rabbit, next afternoon for FaBio), Rabbit & FaBio retweet togheter.

    Then, FaBio, collect the tweets from his and rabbit s timeline (or whatever it is), put them togheter, ads some crazy ideas (see above) and prepare the post for the pleasure and cheering of ladies and lords of the House Gatewatch!

    :D :D :D

  19. AlexBaratheon
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 10:07 am | Permalink

    @MollyAGoGo: the fuck just happened in #GameOfThrones? Who’s the dissapearing Grandad?

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. PatD
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 10:45 am | Permalink

    I hope I don’t get in trouble for this, but I just have to share two of my favorite posts from the AV Club newbies thread:

    But the best way to manipulate Theon is just to tell him that someone
    might be laughing at him. Maester Luwin should just say “My lord, your
    men will lose respect from you if you don’t show you’re tough enough to
    stick this sword in your ear.”

    I also hope this is the last time we have so little Tyrion in an episode.

    Every episode only has a little Tyrion in it. Sheesh.

    Nice job once again, FaB, but WTH, PACO, you need to get your tweet back on.

  21. Weirwood
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 10:50 am | Permalink

    Thanks FaB! Always love these. Another excellent job.

  22. LordEddardStark
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    At first I used to skip over this, but now I love these! The reactions have me on the floor most of the time. Keep these up!

  23. Varamyr Fourskins
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 11:52 am | Permalink

    Theon must die? What ever do you mean? Wouldn’t that spoil Ramsay’s party? #theresnopartylikeadreadfortparty

  24. Nicole
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    I have officially had TWO dreams about loving Jon Snow now! Robb was mine in the books, but there is just something about Kit.

    Ygritte’s lines kind of annoyed me in this last episode. Overall, the show dialogue could use more subtlety, we get it alreay!

    Lastly, I was THRILLED by the scene with Sansa and Shae, especially when Shae pulls the knife. That lady is truly a badass.

  25. serum
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 12:15 pm | Permalink

    Varamyr Fourskins,

    #theresnopartylikeadreadfortparty

    They say a naked man has a few secrets regarding how to party, a flayed man has none!

  26. Handmaiden of Dany
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

    Hilda,

    I agree with everything you just said…except for the marrying Fab part! LOL!

  27. denise:)
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

    Yes. The Twitter Recaps are simply the best thing on the internet. Hilda, I agree- other shows need to figure this out!!

  28. Yellow Dog
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

    The_Rabbit01: Yellow Dog, heh.I ll tell you how it is!Usually on Sunday evenings (afternoons for FaBio) F. sits in front of his computer and starts to Re-tweet.Approximately after 15 minutes, Twitter bans him.Then, some hours later, with the first light of dawn, in a distant land across the pond, a rabbit wakes up and starts retweeting.Twitter never bans him. (HER, pardon).Same day, in the evening (evening for the rabbit, next afternoon for FaBio), Rabbit & FaBio retweet togheter.Then, FaBio, collect the tweets from his and rabbit s timeline (or whatever it is), put them togheter, ads some crazy ideas (see above) and prepare the post for the pleasure and cheering of ladies and lords of the House Gatewatch!:D :D :D

    LOL! Way too complicated for me ….

  29. Joffrey Baratheon
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm | Permalink

    Hey Peasants,

    My name is King Joffrey Baratheon, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are filthy, treasonous, low-borns who spend every second of their day refusing to serve me loyally. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever honored your vows? I mean, I guess it’s fun conspiring of ways to overthrow me because of you are too spineless to be loyal, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than the wailing of women.

    Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I”m King of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm. What titles do you have, other than “gutter rat”? I also have a bad ass throne, and I’m betrothed to a banging hot redhead (I just got my Kingsguard to beat her; Shit was SO cash). You are all insects who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

  30. Nagga's Kin
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 1:07 pm | Permalink

    Nicole:

    Ygritte’s lines kind of annoyed me in this last episode. Overall, the show dialogue could use more subtlety, we get it alreay!

    Oh, the subtlety is there alright – just not in the dialogue! Pls see my earlier comment on why Ygritte intended to annoy Jon.

  31. evilclosetmonkey
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

    Theon just needs to learn his name and he’ll be fine.

    Jaime Lannister, you magnificent bastard. LOVED his scene with Cat & Brienne.

    Jaime: “What was the bastard’s name?”
    Cat: “Brienne.”
    Jaime” “No, that’s not it.”

  32. Shock Me
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 1:14 pm | Permalink

    Only Theon would hire the Tanning Mom as a Governess in Winterfell. That’s not what the glass gardens are for lady.

  33. Nagga's Kin
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm | Permalink

    Joffrey Baratheon:
    Hey Peasants,

    Your disgrace,

    this is how that’s done.

    A slap in your face,
    x

  34. Assunta
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm | Permalink

    This is my favorite post of the week! You make me want to figure out how this whole tweeting thing works.

    Thank you Thank you FaB and Rabbit!

  35. stevelabny
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 2:16 pm | Permalink

    The tweets stopped being funny once everyone read the books between seasons and started TRYING to be funny just to get quoted instead of being unintentionally funny/cute in their shock and awe but…

    “Dungeons & Dragons reference for the win. Except it’s not. Because EVERYONE knows a Mirror Image spell can’t be used to deal damage! What are you, retarded?!”

    This line was hysterical.

  36. Eskimo Soldier
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    Mirror Image is a reference to a World of Warcraft spell which DOES deal damage. There’s no mirror image spell in D&D core anymore.

  37. Vanderhook
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    stevelabny: The tweets stopped being funny once everyone read the books between seasons and started TRYING to be funny just to get quoted instead of being unintentionally funny/cute in their shock and awe but…“Dungeons & Dragons reference for the win. Except it’s not. Because EVERYONE knows a Mirror Image spell can’t be used to deal damage! What are you, retarded?!”This line was hysterical.

    I think FaB is doing a pretty great job finding a balance between the clever jokes, the snarky comments and the reactions from the “Average Joe”s who haven’t read the books. Plus FaB’s own comments are usually pretty good. These tweet posts are definitely the most fun ones of the week.

  38. James
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    Anyone else think this post title is like some weird Honor Harrington and Myth Adventures cross-over?

    Anyone?

    Bueller?

    (Oh yeah, as always, great fun reading these!)

  39. the goat
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    So I saw this the other day, but figured I should wait for the tweet thread to post it (and to see if you guys caught it):

    http://kotaku.com/5910143/behold-the-ultimate-game-of-thrones-tweet?tag=gameofthrones

    Not sure if its actually the best EVAR, but its pretty damn good:

    Game of Thrones reminds me of twitter a lot because there are 140 characters and terrible things are constantly happening

  40. the goat
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm | Permalink

    Also, Rolling Stone has a nice, and funny, article on the Top 10 Season 2 changes. I’d say I agree with just about all his opinions:

    http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/lists/game-changers-the-10-biggest-changes-between-game-of-thrones-and-the-books-20120515

  41. Lana
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 5:28 pm | Permalink

    Fire And Blood, I’m sort of in-love with you at the moment.

  42. Connie
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm | Permalink

    I know I fist-pumped when ‘You know nothin” was said, so I can only imagine the Twitter explosion at the line.

  43. Restore The Day
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm | Permalink

    To me, it feels like any quality Dornishman would destroy this new Mountain. And don’t even think to bring You-Know-Who into the conversation. Three-second fight.

    You Know Who = Selmy? Sandor? Red Viper? Lancel? Voldemort? Syrio Forel? Bronn?

    But yeah I agree, he’s lacking weight and tension. To me he looks like the black knight in Holy Grail.

  44. kindly man
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 7:22 pm | Permalink

    Thanks fab and rabbit. Loved your post, read it every week

  45. purplejilly
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 7:23 pm | Permalink

    Great post, as always. This is the highlight of my week for GoT, and gets me through the hump day until next Sunday! One of the fun things is reading people’s crazy Twitter names. Some people are so creative with what they use as their name.

  46. Restore The Day
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:07 pm | Permalink

    THIS!

    the goat:
    So I saw this the other day, but figured I should wait for the tweet thread to post it (and to see if you guys caught it):

    http://kotaku.com/5910143/behold-the-ultimate-game-of-thrones-tweet?tag=gameofthrones

    Not sure if its actually the best EVAR, but its pretty damn good:

    Game of Thrones reminds me of twitter a lot because there are 140 characters and terrible things are constantly happening

  47. Lex
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:34 pm | Permalink

    Great post, as always! But I have a couple questions:

    How does FaB get tweets for the entire episode, if he gets banned after 15 minutes? And instead of re-tweeting (and getting banned), can’t he just copy and paste the tweets into a word document?

    Also, doesn’t this spoil the whole episode for FaB and Rabbit? It’s hard to imagine FaB actually watching the episode, when he’s doing this. And does Rabbit do her re-tweeting before she’s even seen the episode?

  48. DavosFTW!
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 8:51 pm | Permalink

    Needs more Davos.

  49. BornAmidstSalt&Smoke
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm | Permalink

    thanks fab and rabbit…keep up the good work…

  50. andrea
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm | Permalink

    I really don´t like buss stations but I really like this! Thanks again!

  51. Miyay
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 10:06 pm | Permalink

    Thoroughly enjoying this recap! I don’t know why I only discovered this recently, when I check the site regularly :(

  52. Ricardo Baptista
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 10:22 pm | Permalink

    Joffrey Baratheon:
    Hey Peasants,

    My name is King Joffrey Baratheon, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are filthy, treasonous, low-borns who spend every second of their day refusing to serve me loyally. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever honored your vows? I mean, I guess it’s fun conspiring of ways to overthrow me because of you are too spineless to be loyal, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than the wailing of women.

    Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I”m King of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm. What titles do you have, other than “gutter rat”? I also have a bad ass throne, and I’m betrothed to a banging hot redhead (I just got my Kingsguard to beat her; Shit was SO cash). You are all insects who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

    Well done, sir. Well done.

  53. Fire And Blood
    Posted May 16, 2012 at 11:45 pm | Permalink

    Hilda, Lana,

    Yes, I am cheerfully married…

    …to Lex. But it’s just so he can get his green card.

    Oh, and Lex, I don’t actually get banned until about a half-hour in. So I re-tweet about half of the east coast tweets, get banned for SPAM, and I cherry pick the rest, copying and pasting the ones I like directly onto WordPress.

    At 9:00 PST, I watch the show for my own personal enjoyment (it is my favorite show), then re-watch it immediately after, taking notes for my TVEquals review and for TDR. During this time, Rabbit (who’s not my wife—she’s just my affair) is finally up, and she re-tweets the PST tweets, but somehow does not get banned. Sexism.

    I compile the collected tweets and write my post Monday and Tuesday, and present it to you all in a lovely baby blue package on Wednesday!

    For this, Winter pays me $86,000.00 per year.

    But since we’re married you should already know this. You act as though you can’t trust a word I say sometimes!

  54. From Chaos
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 1:33 am | Permalink

    Dungeons & Dragons reference for the win. Except it’s not. Because EVERYONE knows a Mirror Image spell can’t be used to deal damage! What are you, retarded?!

    I also agree that the best comment this week came from FaB.

    Fantastic job as always

  55. BornAmidstSalt&Smoke
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 1:54 am | Permalink

    here is my tweet: HODOR SMASH….walnut?

  56. BornAmidstSalt&Smoke
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 2:01 am | Permalink

    Joffrey Baratheon:
    Hey Peasants,

    My name is King Joffrey Baratheon, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are filthy, treasonous, low-borns who spend every second of their day refusing to serve me loyally. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever honored your vows? I mean, I guess it’s fun conspiring of ways to overthrow me because of you are too spineless to be loyal, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than the wailing of women.

    Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I”m King of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm. What titles do you have, other than “gutter rat”? I also have a bad ass throne, and I’m betrothed to a banging hot redhead (I just got my Kingsguard to beat her; Shit was SO cash). You are all insects who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

    well struck, your grace

  57. PatD
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 2:11 am | Permalink

    Dang, FaB. That post made my head hurt.

    Totally worth the big bucks. :P

    One of the fun things is reading people’s crazy Twitter names. Some people are so creative with what they use as their name.

    I know, right? And the #hashtags, too. Sometimes those are funnier than the tweets.

  58. Lex
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 2:30 am | Permalink

    So did everyone. Except Lex.

    Haha, just noticed this! Ouch! For the record, I DID think it was Pyatt Pree, I just didn’t think you could see his face.

  59. The_Rabbit01
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 2:38 am | Permalink

    I am a bit weirdoo, Lex, I do not mind the spoilers – especially when I have not got any idea about what those birdies are talking about.
    Not to mention it is 6 AM in the morning!

  60. Hilda
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 8:22 am | Permalink

    Fire And Blood,

    Rabbit,my apologies for leaving you out of the praise. I didn’t realize that this was a team effort. Great Job to you both! I am so not looking forward to when the season is over…it will be just one more reason to go into a small depression for a whole year. don’t worry chocolate and lots of wine will fix it!

  61. FiggyPuddin
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

    Great recap! I don’t know why I haven’t tuned into these posts earlier… I will look forward to it from now on! Still laughing my ass off

  62. ANiceChianti
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    Restore The Day: You Know Who = Selmy? Sandor? Red Viper? Lancel? Voldemort? Syrio Forel? Bronn?

    But yeah I agree, he’s lacking weight and tension. To me he looks like the black knight in Holy Grail.

    My assumption from this statement was that it was referring to Sandor.

  63. Knurk
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 5:57 pm | Permalink

    andrea:
    I really don´t like buss stations but I really like this! Thanks again!

    ha, you remind me of the movie Lista de Espera when you talk about busstations. Maybe you’d like them a bit mroe after watching that movie?

  64. trfhms
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 10:28 pm | Permalink

    I really do love these recaps. I know this has been said, but still…

  65. Emma
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 1:31 am | Permalink

    You don’t like Once Upon a Time?! I love you, FaB, but you just took a significant drop in my estimation.
    Which I’m sure is devastating for you.

  66. rorschach-
    Posted May 19, 2012 at 9:26 am | Permalink

    Wizard can use Mirror Image if runed to Mirror Mimics at level 58 to make images do 10% of his/her damage… maybe a tad too much Diablo3.

    @samuraisupremo: They should add Jon Snow’s Pants as a location in thecredits, because what’shappening in there is very important lately.

    I can imagine what the machines in the opening credits would look like when they would show this place… oh the humanity.

  67. Rivias
    Posted April 26, 2013 at 7:25 pm | Permalink

    Natalie Tena also appear´s in the LAPALUX`S ” without you ” videoclip and you should check it out because the music is AWESOME and NATALIE …. you have to see it !!!
    Just follow the link and enjoy it :-)
    http://t.co/VC5DDKuXZx

  1. [...] kao šećer na kraju su ovdje ReTweetovi sa WiC-a: ep4, ep5, ep6, ep7, ep8. Na žalost eseji Pearson Moore-a su stali na 6 epizodi, stoga zobajte što je ponuđeno: ep4, [...]


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