Awards

WiCnet Awards Season Two: Best One-Liner

Out of a ton(ne) of funny lines we had to pick five for this week’s voting. Now it is up to you to pick the single best one. As always, you are more than welcome to discuss your decision in the comments after you have voted.

Hear Me Roar: We know that there are other lines you like, no need to remind us, but if you do so, please be polite. Any self-respecting award selection involves snub controversies.

124 Comments

  • I laughed out loud the most at Bronn’s line, so I’m gonna go with that one. Tyrion’s was a close second.

  • First.. and when are you going to post the results of all of these polls.. I already forgot the answers I chose for most of them.. I am not sure what your plan is.. but I think it is time to give us some of the results already!

    Edit: I am still first.. The Young Wolf is dead…

  • I feel like Bronn may never rise to be King of Westeros, but he’s the undisputed King of One-Liners. I can think of a few off the top of my head that are worthy to being on this list…

  • I went with Renly. His line was a combination of laugh out loud funny and his delivery, which was great!

  • “look to your sins lord Renly”

    Next season the winner will be “Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought bravely, Rhaegar fought honorably, and Rhaegar died”

  • Renly FTW. A woman agrees there were many good choices this year, but these are some of my favorites too, good job HmR!

  • Funny – just earlier today I was thinking about my favourite one-liner from S1:

    “If we did it your way, Kingslayer, you’d win. We’re not doing it your way.”

    I love the smug way the line is delivered. It’s as if Robb as saying ‘you seriously thought you could shame me into thinking I should be able to defeat you in single combat? that’s pathetic.’

  • I would have gone to the immortal: “Any man dies with a clean sword, I’ll rape his fucking corpse !”

    But went with the “Janos Slynt” one.

  • Went with Bronn last year. This year, gotta give it to the Halfman. One of my favorite scenes of Season 2.

  • Darn, missed my favorite: “Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let’s go kill them!” – Tyrion

  • Love Tyrion’s line and Renly’s, but Tyrion’s had me laughing outloud during the episode.

  • Darn, missed my favorite: “Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let’s go kill them!” – Tyrion

  • Bronn all the way. I think an honourable mention should go to “I don’t like his beard”

  • “Fuck the Kingsguard, Fuck the City, Fuck the King.”

    My favorite quote from the season, but had to go with Yoren in Poll.

    Sorry for my strong language.

  • Stannis the ham ftw. That made me crack up and I always enjoy it when someone talks back to Mel. Her portentous gravitas gets under my skin like breadcrumbs under a shirt.

    Samwell’s straight-forward unadorned plea for human rights at Craster’s Keep of all places was so touching, it’s my runner-up.

    Tyrion denying the existence of Slynt’s honour is almost to good to pass over, but I’m sure it’ll get its fair share of votes anyhow.

  • YvyB:
    Seen as it’s my favorite quote on Facebook it has to be Bronn. Absolutely Laughed out Loud!

    My thoughts exactly.

  • Hmm. Is there going to be a poll for best punch-line? Most of the best stuff in the show wasn’t a one liner.

    Tyrion: Cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats.
    Timmett: There are no goats Halfman!
    Tyrion: Make do!

  • the best one-liner is no question. It’s “I don’t want to be a Queen; I want to be the Queen.

  • My favorite line is “And remember – the queen mustn’t know”, or whatever variatio of it Tyrion actually says during that wonderful scene.

    Voted for Bronn, though. Made me laugh out loud when he said it.

  • First time I heard Renly’s quote I laughed and couldn’t wait for the replay just to hear it again, but I had to vote for the poetic words of Bronn!

  • One had to go with Bronn. While the others are hilarious in their context, unfortunately, Bronn’s line seems to be universally quotable.

    What are we going to do without Bronn after Tyrion is jailed? Even as a book purist, one would hope that D&D could pad Bronn’s role. Could he visit Tyrion in the black cells? Plan an escape? Maybe he could travel with Tyrion going east? It would certainly perk up that long, dreary litter trip with Illyrio.

  • Currer Bell:
    Bronn’s line seems to be universally quotable.

    I have to agree on that. About the rest, I wonder that too. I’m guessing he’ll come to visit him, act as a courier of sorts.

  • I think Bronn will have more one liners to share with us. I’m going with Renly, because this is the last chance for him to win anything, and tbh, it was the one that really made me laugh. Every once in awhile I think “LOL, ham…” Clever.

  • Tom O’ Sevens:
    “look to your sins lord Renly”

    Next season the winner will be “Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought bravely, Rhaegar fought honorably, and Rhaegar died”

    That or….“Jaime Lannister sends his regards.”

  • Hirondelle,

    In regard to Mel, Carice’s face is priceless in that scene. She almost laughs at it, almost self conscious. A great touch to her performance, As if she is saying “I do sound ridiculous don’t I?” No consolation for poor Renly though as it pretty much dug his grave for him. Mel doesn’t like to be slighted.

  • Very OT but I just caught up with Accused on the bbc. First ep Ned in drag and now Gendry and Jojen in ep 2 ! Sangster is going to slay as Jojen, seriously eyes like black swampy pools. Agh can it be season three yet?

  • Yoren’s “I always hated crossbows….” better win. Most epic line, and such an epic fight.

  • I’ve always wanted to use the the line that Tyrion spoke to Janos Slynt, but I’m
    disappointed that Slynt didn’t force Bronn’s hand to stake him.

  • Linda:
    I also loved Tyrion’s line “THAT was a threat. See the difference?”

    Well executed too, a tie with his other line.

  • Best one liner not on this poll?

    “S’up” – Jorah’s V neck to all the ladies of Quarth.

    I voted for Bronn. Great delivery and a funny moment.

  • Dornish Girl:
    Kit and Rose are dating!

    “Dating.” Is that what they call it now?

    Hirondelle:

    Samwell’s straight-forward unadorned plea for human rights at Craster’s Keep of all places was so touching, it’s my runner-up.

    Yes – the look on his face was just perfect. Never occur to Sam to treat her as anything less than a person. Lovely.

  • The Instrumentalist:
    I think Bronn will have more one liners to share with us. I’m going with Renly, because this is the last chance for him to win anything, and tbh, it was the one that really made me laugh. Every once in awhile I think “LOL, ham…” Clever.

    Just so. A woman agrees with you, it’s probably our last chance to give props to Renly!

  • Had to go with Renly.

    If you read the books, you’ll find GRRM really likes to write about food (and he does it very well, might I add), so I liked the implication there that GRRM’s messiah could very well end up being a side of pork. Touché.

  • Once again a nice group of lines.

    Voted for Bronn as it exists best without the context it comes in.

    But I’m still going to throw out a few other favorites from the season, with the stipulation that a one-liner is a stark statement that usually induces laughter (if not, Ser Rodrik’s “Gods help you, Theon Greyjoy” is the year’s best.)

    “Thank you. Thank you, wise bald man, for explaining siege tactics to me.” –Theon Greyjoy

    “Be careful of their nets.” — Yara Greyjoy

    “Even torturing you is boring.” — Tyrion Lannister

    “Where did you find this BEAST?” — Jaime, interrupting his discourse about vows and the Mad King to marvel at Brienne’s size and appearance

    “THAT was a threat. See the difference?” — Tyrion, as mentioned earlier

    “Why are the gods such miserable cunts?” — Tyrion, again

    “Where is the god of tits and wine?” — Tyrion (I could do this all day)

    “No goats here, half-man.”

    “It was a good speech; didn’t want to interrupt.” — Dagmer Cleftjaw

    “We were having a serious conversation.” – Dolorous Edd

    “But Robert was your king.”
    “And Joffrey shall be yours! Enjoy.” — Sansa and Cersei

    “A man can kill himself.” – Arya

    “Have you met many stone masons, my lord?”
    “Careful, girl. I enjoy you, but careful.” — Arya and Tywin Lannister

    “He’s been stabbing Renly for years and it hasn’t killed him.” – The two soldiers (prior to being killed, of course, so let’s call them Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

    “Wake up, you sons-of-whores! There’s men out there that wanna fuck your corpses!” — Yoren, who of course, gets the best, badass death of the series so far.

    “Will this be enough to get me a ship?”
    “Ay, Khaleesi. A small ship.” – Danys and Jorah

    “That is a question for wise men with skinny arms.” –Khal Drogo, in his welcome appearance

  • Greatjon of Slumber:
    Once again a nice group of lines. …

    …“That is a question for wise men with skinny arms.” –Khal Drogo, in his welcome appearance

    For sheer usability in the real world, that Drogo line is probably the best of the season. For example, when a woman is asked any political question in this season in the USA, that would work as a reply.

    Asker: “What do you think of any of the plans to fix Medicare?”
    Reply: “That is a question for wise men with skinny arms.”

    Asker: “Which of the candidates will bring economic recovery back to the US?”
    Reply: “That is a question for wise men with skinny arms.”

    Asker: “Which candidate has the best plan for America’s future?”
    Reply: “That is a question for wise men with skinny arms.”

    Etc…usable especially in social situation when giving a REAL answer would be awkward or lead to yelling and screaming and throwing of bottles.

  • I voted vor Renly’s but I did miss Melisandre’s ‘The night is dark and full of terrors, old man, but the fire burns them all away.’
    and Cersei’s ‘Power is power’.
    Even though both originated in extremely flawed scenes (they really fucked up Cressen imho, and LF’s slip was ridiculous) I think both moments were really powerful.

  • I have voted for Renly and I really loved a lot of the lines in this season , but my favourite one or scene is in the episode of Blackwater , before the battle when Sansa is with Tyrion and Joffrey.
    Sansa : I will pray for your safe return , my lord
    Tyrion : Will you?
    Sansa : Just as I pray for the King’s
    Biggest burn ever (btw I love Tyrion too). And then I love how she trolls Joffrey.
    This is what I like about Sansa; even when she’s trolling she behaves like a lady

  • Johannes Genard,

    LOL. I TOTALLY agree that those scenes were flawed!
    Did you also notice how D&D were so obsessed with teaching the audience proper grammar/syntax in season 2? Several examples –
    1) Davos – I now have 4 less finger nails to clean, then Stannis corrects him – 4 fewer finger nails! [.. I mean in real life.. who on earth would catch that mistake!?]
    2) Cersei- Aren’t you just so clever with your schemes and your plots. Tyrion- Schemes and plots are the same thing! lolz
    3) Tyrion: may I ask specifically what the king has in mind? Cersei: You may ask specifically or you may ask vaguely! lolololol
    4) Arya- My mother taught me how to speak proper [wait a second.. thats an adverb] PROPERLY!..
    I am sure there were several more..

  • Joshua Taylor,

    Mel certainly knows the value of theatrics in her line of work. And Carice has her figured out. I think her wily ways annoy me mainly because I can never fully understand why Stannis accepted her (and R’hllor) in the first place. He never struck me as the type of person who needs religion. He doesn’t need to believe in his right to rule; as far as I can tell, it’s fact to him.

    As for Renly’s cocky little brother quip – it reminds me of the peach he’s eating in that scene in the book: it shows his unconcerned, happy-go-lucky confidence and underlines the shock of his sudden end. One moment he’s eating a juicy sticky fruit/teasing his older brother, the next he’s dead.

  • Missed my favorite: “I would say I hadn’t harmed a single hair on his head, but that’s not precisely true.”

  • Ours is the Fury,

    I think next time we need to know what all the categories are before hand. if you guys are giving us the results together, why not give us the categories together? it would avoid all the mix up in the discussion.

  • “I’ve always hated the bells, they ring for horror. A dead king, a city under siege…”

    “A wedding…”

    “Exactly.”

  • the goat:
    “I’ve always hated the bells, they ring for horror.A dead king, a city under siege…”

    “A wedding…”

    “Exactly.”

    My favorite quote of the series. Oh GRRM you are a magnificent troll!

  • I’ve always hated the bells, they ring for horror. A dead king, a city under siege…”

    “A wedding…”

    “Exactly.”

    Delicious. Think of all those weddings coming up. One shudders to think of the real world weddings GRRM must have attended to prejudice him so.

  • Mr’s Hghar has an avatar!!!!
    Still sad over the omission of my fav line “Been spending time with fancy folk.” But in its absence Bronn still gets my vote. Yoren’s was too sad to be funny.

    To Andrea and all my Argintine friends, best of luck for tonight really looking forward to it!

  • Dornish Girl:
    Kit and Rose are dating!

    Excellent! That’ll make Jon and Ygritte’s ‘break up’ that little bit more poignant!

  • Joshua Taylor: My favorite quote of the series. Oh GRRM you are a magnificent troll!

    Yeah, its right up there with “In my own bed, at the age of eighty, with a belllyful of wine and a maiden’s mouth around my cock,” “That’s the only time a man can be brave,” and, “Only Cat,” as my all-time faves. Still, I’m big enough (or small enough) to admit that its not technically a one-liner.

    He gave her a short, sharp shove.
    Lysa stumbled backward, her feet slipping on the wet marble. And then she was gone. She never screamed. For the longest time there was no sound but the wind.
    Marillion gasped, “You . . . you . . . .”
    The guards were shouting outside the door, pounding with the butts of their heavy spears. Lord Petyr pulled Sansa to her feet. “You’re not hurt?” When she shook her head, he said, “Run let my guards in, then. Quick now, there’s no time to lose. This singer’s killed my lady wife.”

  • What about future one-liners?

    “She don’t speak,” said the big man in the yellow cloak. “You bloody bastards cut her throat too deep for that. But she remembers.”

    Up and up and up.

  • Andrea and all my Arg companions. Told you that you guys would be much better this week. Very well done! You guys played an immense game. I see a long road ahead for the Springbok. But anyway congrats on breaking the Bok’s winning streak against Los Pumas.

  • “Kneel, or I’ll carve your lungs out, boy.”

    “You’ll do no such thing. This one’s a girl, you idiot.”

  • Bronn all the way! Though Tyrion is I the ballpark, Bronn rules! Its straight to the point! Bronn always cracks me up!

  • the goat:
    “Which one gave you the tougher fight, the cripple or the six-year-old?”

    This one was presented almost as a throw-away line, in that “sassy Yara” way, and a woman LOVED it! Yara has grown on me.

  • “Hard truths cut both ways, Ser Davos.”

    Not really a one-liner, but Stephen Dillane is so fucking badass that I cackle every time I watch this scene.

  • “Oh, I’m not here for you. I was just on my way to Red Harbor. I’ve got thirty ships, there’s nowhere to put them here. Too narrow.”

  • Over here its angry pandemonium, no one can believe we drew. Some players are gonna get crucified in the media for sure!

  • I went with Bronn – “There’s no cure for being a cunt”. So true it’s (almost) not even funny :P

    Come to think of it, Bronn always has my favorite lines on the show, such as S1’s “You wouldn’t know him” to Tywin… no matter how many times I watch that one, it always makes me crack up!

  • “One day, I pray you love someone.
    I pray you love her so much, when you close your eyes you see her face.
    I want that for you.
    I want you to know what it’s like to love someone, to truly love someone.
    Before I take her from you.”

    Again, not comical, but Lena & Peter slay me every time.

  • andrea:
    damn, I couldn´t watch the game.

    Hmm… Me estoy preocupando. Yo tampoco lo pude ver… No seremos nosotras las yettas? :P

    Aegon the Conqueror:
    Andrea and all my Arg companions. Told you that you guys would be much better this week. Very well done! You guys played an immense game. I see a long road ahead for the Springbok. But anyway congrats on breaking the Bok’s winning streak against Los Pumas.

    That’s very sportive (spelling?) of you, thank you very much for the sentiment! Much appreciated. Unfortunately I couldn’t watch the game either but was very happy when I came home and saw the papers. It’s the first time we manage to draw with ye, IIRC, so real proud our Pumas.

  • Lady Dondarrion:
    I have voted for Renly and I really loved a lot of the lines in this season , but my favourite one or scene is in the episode of Blackwater , before the battle when Sansa is with Tyrion and Joffrey.Sansa : I will pray for your safe return , my lord
    Tyrion : Will you?
    Sansa : Just as I pray for the King’s
    Biggest burn ever (btw I love Tyrion too). And then I love how she trolls Joffrey.
    This is what I like about Sansa; even when she’s trolling she behaves like a lady

    I voted for Renly’s line but I would have voted for that one by Sansa if it was on the list. Tyrion’s face was a picture as well – he had a twinkle of hope she really meant it.

  • Honestly there has to be only one winner for sheer ‘in the moment’ appropriateness:

    Sandor ‘The Hound’ Clegane

    “Any man dies with a clean sword, I”LL RAPE HIS FUCKING CORPSE”

  • I’ve clearly come to this site too late! Where is Sallador’s cracking line “I’m not going to rape her, I’m going to fuck her!”

    Oh well, bronn ftw.