Our newbie recapper Oz of Thrones looks ahead to the second half of Game of Thrones in his weekly Looking Forward post. Book readers, enjoy the read, but please refrain from revealing anything in the comments; that includes subtle hints and clarifications from the books. Let the Unsullied have fun speculating!
Oz of Thrones: Five down, five to go. We are halfway through Season 3 (it just goes by so fast), and it is time for the Halftime Show! Ok, ok, halftime shows are usually better seen visually, either on TV or in person in a grand stadium. But I don’t have the luxury, or the set, or the production crew, or the gear, or the manpower, or a stadium for that matter, to make that happen. What I do have is the internet, Winteriscoming.net, and the trusty laptop (which, coincidentally got left in a tent on the shores this past weekend). Luckily, a man is connected to a Raven company who helped him retrieve it before the evil maids could steal the valuable info contained therein. The maidens are fair; the maids are often times not so fair.
So, College or Pro?
It is has come to my attention that both GRRM and Winter are NFL fans. So we will concentrate on a Super Bowl type of show. But to all of my friends who favor the college game and marching bands, here is a bone for us (Consequently, this could work for Saints fans too):
Everybody now, altogether….
“Oh when the Starks, go marching in…. Oh when the Starks go marching in…. I’m glad to not be Lord Karstark…. When the Starks come marching in.”
And yes, I have been drinking. Albeit, not enough to justify how silly this post is.
On with the show!
A Super Bowl Halftime Show usually depicts a rock icon singer or band from the 70’s, 80’s, or 90’s performing a medley of their hits with some Solid Gold dancers gyrating around and a Wildfire pyrotechnic display. This got me thinking, if some of the characters from GoT could pick a song from that time period to be performed based on where they are or what they have experienced thus far in the series, what would it be? There are millions of songs to choose from, but just off the top of my distorted head, here is my best guess:
Song Pick: Hand in My Pocket –Alannis Morrissette.
Necessary Lyric Change: “I’ve got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is a necklace.”
Runner Up: Roller Derby Queen – Jim Croce
Actual Lyric: No need for change here… the actual works (kinda): “I fell in love with a roller derby queen, round and round. Meanest hunk o’ woman that anybody ever seen, down in the arena……. a bleach-blonde bomber with a streak of mean. She knew how to knuckle and she knew how to scuffle and fight.”
Song Pick: He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother –made famous by The Hollies
Necessary Lyric Change: “The road is long, with many a winding turn, that leads us to who knows where, who knows where. But the Watch is strong, strong enough to carry me. I ain’t heavy, I’m their brother.”
Song Pick: Do That To Me One More Time –Captain and Tennille
Necessary Lyric Change: “Once is never enough, with a Crow like you.”
Song Pick: Shadow Dancing – Andy Gibb
Necessary Lyric Change: “Lord of Light, taking me through the night. Shadow Babies, baby you do it right. Uh-huh!”
Song Pick: Fire Woman –The Cult
Actual Lyric: No change needed- “Wound up, can’t sleep, can’t do anything right, little honey. Oh, since I set my eyes on you, I tell you the truth. T-t-t-t-twistin’ like a flame in a slow dance, baby, You’re driving me crazy. Fiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrre!”
Song Pick: I Am Woman –Helen Reddy
Actual Lyric: “I am woman, hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore.” (Obvious pick, is it not?)
Song Pick: Burning Down The House –Talking Heads
Necessary Lyric Change: “Watch out, you might get what you’re after. Cool dragons, strange but not a stranger. I’m not an ordinary gal, Burning Kraznys House”
Song Pick: Let’s Hear it For The Boy – Deniece Williams
Reason: As a goodwill gesture, Theon chooses this song in order to gain favor with “Boy” in hopes that he might stop torturing him. Unfortunately, it makes it worse, as it should.
Song Pick: Don’t You Want Me – Human League
Actual Lyric: “I picked you out, I shook you up And turned you around. Turned you into someone new. Now five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet. Success has been so easy for you.”
Song Pick: Tequila – The Champs
Justification: Granted, this song does not meet the criteria of coming from the time period mentioned above. But Hodor gets a pass, as there are not many hit songs in existence that use only one word.
Necessary Lyric Change: Da da da da da da, da……. Hodor.
Song Pick: Mo Money Mo Problems – Notorious B.I.G. feat Mase, Puff Daddy
Necessary Lyric Change: “Who jewels got robbed, who’s mostly goldie down to the tube sock, the same ol pimp, you know ain’t nuttin change, still an imp.”
Looking Forward Ep. 26 Non-Book Readers
As usual during a broadcast, the halftime show ran a little long which only gives us a quick minute or two to discuss what we are expecting to see for the second half of the season. So, what are you looking forward to? Here are a couple of things I would like to see resolved:
Theon: I will not delve heavily into this story. All I can say is that in a man’s humble opinion, this mystery has gone on long enough. I believe I know who has him. At this point, I would be shocked if I was wrong. What I don’t know is why the “Boy” is doing what he is doing. A man is ready to see this storyline move along.
ArGenPie – Pie – Gen = Ar: Will Arya finally meet back up with her mother and brother? That would just be sweeeeet. I still have a glimmer of hope that Gendry changes his mind and goes with her. And Robb could be elsewhere anyway…….
Robb Meets Walder?: How Robb expects to get anything other than a swift kick in the pants from the eldest Frey is beyond me. He will be quite lucky if he only gets that. Robb was promised to a Frey daughter in return for passage across the river. But, he met a hot lady with a saw and it was love at first (amputated) leg. Whatever he does, he better hurry because…
Sansa and the Half-Man: That trip with Littlefinger is looking better all the time. If Sansa only knew what was in store for her, assuming the wedding goes through (which is one hell of an assumption on this show). As far as Loras and Cersei go, I will believe it when I see it. Something tells me that Cersei will not play by the rules with this order from daddy. And I would imagine that Grandma Lemon Cakes will have something to say about the match as well.
Hodor and the Furious Five: There hasn’t been a whole lot of movement from this group lately, but hopefully that will change soon. By the way, did anyone catch a quick portion of the preview where it looks like Jojen is in a very rough situation?
Joffrey: For once, I wouldn’t mind seeing a little more of the King. His minimal screen time has been primarily split between he and mommy dearest, or the seemingly politically motivated Margaery, or both. Which reminds me…. have we even seen the throne this Season? It is time.
Please remember, a man has been chosen to represent the Unsullied. We are the people who ask questions who do not want answers. So, join us in conversation, but be respectful of our cause. No Spoilers Please!
With that being said, tell me what you are looking forward to; what you would like to see resolved before the end of the season, and maybe even what you thought of that immaculate Halftime Show.
Enjoy the weekend, and I will see you all Monday for the Newbie Recap of Episode 26. Until then, may there be peace in your realm. -Oz