WiCnet Awards Season Three: Best One-Liner
By Winter Is Coming on in Awards.

WiCnet Awards Season Three

Once more unto the breach, dear friends. This week’s WiCnet Awards features a category that many of you have been waiting for since we did our best quote category a couple of weeks ago. The best one-liner category features the funniest zingers from season 3 and asks you to pick the zingiest. The nominees lurk after the break, vote and then discuss in the comments!


 

You can check out past winners here:

WiCnet Awards Season Two Winners
WiCnet Awards Season One Winners


68 Comments

  1. Veltigar
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 2:21 pm | Permalink

    HODOR

    Hmmm, this is a strange list.

  2. conal
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 2:23 pm | Permalink

    MORDOR

  3. Winter Is Coming
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 2:24 pm | Permalink

    Veltigar:
    HODOR

    Hmmm, this is a strange list.

    How so?

  4. Grijnwaald
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 2:28 pm | Permalink

    My personal favourite was:

    “Face, tits, balls….I hit them right where I wanted to.” – Arya Stark

    But that wasn’t an option so I went for Old Nanna Lemon cake’s “A sword swallower through and through”

  5. Rygar
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 2:28 pm | Permalink

    No Bronn or Edd? EPIC fail.

  6. Hodor's Bastard
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    It’s fairly obvious that this award was meant for QoT. Other than slinging one-liners, what else does her role serve? I like the self-deprecating “decrepit” one with Varys.

  7. Rygar
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

    Hodor’s Bastard:
    It’s fairly obvious that this award was meant for QoT. Other than slinging one-liners, what else does her role serve? I like the self-deprecating “decrepit” one with Varys.

    Exactly. Surprised they didn’t try and cast Betty White for the role.

  8. GreatJon of Slumber
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 2:53 pm | Permalink

    I went with Varys. All five are good, but the Varys one – which is almost too self-aware – really sneaks up on you. Overall, though, this list is a very strong one, and while there are other one-liners I’d rather see in here, it isn’t something to get worked up about, unlike the Best Quote quiz, which missed a bunch, I’d thought. A few other fun ones I liked, though:

    “And so my watch begins.” — Tyrion (drunk)

    “It’s a hundred feet wide. How could we have missed it?” — Arya

    “Maybe he’s the reason half the country is starving.” — Thoros of Myr

    “Pace yerself, lad.” – Bronn, droll as ever

    “Aye. We left you. You’re fat. And you’re slow. And we didn’t want to die.” — Edd

    “Sausage.” — Ramsey Snow

    “Don’t burn your fingers.” — Gendry to Hot Pie

    “Well, this is one shameful fucking performance.” — Locke

    “No one cares what your father once told you.” — Cersei, at her most withering

    “And how come he always gets to sit and chat while we do all the work?”
    (Long Pause)….”Hodor.” — Osha and Hodor

    But honestly, the best missed one is Hodor Hodoring down the well.

  9. Nezzer
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 3:11 pm | Permalink

    “You think I’m some sort of savage?” – Ramsay Snow
    This is my favorite line, but from the ones in the poll, I voted for Varys’s.

  10. arden
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    I’M NOT TIRED!!!!!!!!

  11. Arkash
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 3:26 pm | Permalink

    “The fuck ya doing to my bear ?”

    “That’s one shameful fucking performance !”

    “You are a bastard. A daughter-fucking wildling bastard.”

    And so many others are missing. And none of those above would have made my top 5 quotes of the season.

  12. TheBerylfly
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 3:27 pm | Permalink

    Many good lines missing, but I vote for Varys. Maybe not as obvious as some of Olenna’s, but that was one great description

  13. Clabog
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

    I always loved the line “You little bastard…” said by the Bolton guy right before Ramsay shoots an arrow through his head.

  14. King DBC
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 3:45 pm | Permalink

    The Queen of Thorns! Though Varys pretty much nailed it with his line… But, Lady Olenna it is!

  15. franco
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 3:46 pm | Permalink

    It could be possible if for the next quote/one-liner poll, to be an “other” option, so we can fill it with our favorites?

  16. Mescalinic
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 4:00 pm | Permalink

    And so many others are missing. And none of those above would have made my top 5 quotes of the season.

    The Lysa Arryn of Chairs is (and will be) the best line of the whole show *_*

  17. The Summer Islander
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

    The QoT line I was hoping for made it in so I’m happy. I love it everytime she is on screen.

  18. Tar Kidho
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    nonexisting things bumping against decrepit stuff, what else…

    (although it gets stronger with the philosophers line added, but I guess you left that out since it wouldn’t be a “one”liner anymore?)

  19. The Dragon Demands
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    “The Lannisters send their regards”

  20. Valyrian Plastic
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 4:36 pm | Permalink

    The Dragon Demands,

    Done that already!

  21. Valyrian Plastic
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 4:38 pm | Permalink

    “Occasionally I drank with the harlots.”- Tyrion (301)

  22. Al Swearengen
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 5:20 pm | Permalink

    Anything between Varys and Littlefinger cracks me up.

  23. Arya Dunyett
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 5:36 pm | Permalink

    My personal favorite is, if I remember it correctly:

    “If you think this will end well, you haven’t been paying attention.”

    It is such a cool and well expressed concept that I’ve heard it plagiarized and paraphrased on several other shows since its airing on GoT.

    Was it Tyrion? I wish I could remember who said it! Oh, the curse of brain petrification!

  24. That Stark boy
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 5:43 pm | Permalink

    Valyrian Plastic:
    “Occasionally I drank with the harlots.”- Tyrion (301)

    Yeah!

    I really liked the list. I won’t whine about it. All the other in the comments, except the one above, didn’t really strike me that much as “A sword swallower through and though”.

    http://www.jessicarulestheuniverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/tumblr_mmcy33XW0K1rtm7i4o1_500.gif

    “The Lysa Arryn of chairs” was great, but I’m insanely attracted to Kate Dickie, so no…

  25. That Stark boy
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 5:45 pm | Permalink
  26. Arya Dunyett
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 5:59 pm | Permalink

    That Stark Boy

    You’re right. Pathetic.

    In my own defense, I’ve only watched series 3 once. And as I mentioned, plaque on the brain robs me of much of life’s beauty. Or maybe it’s something in my genes besides my hindquarters.

  27. Yago
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 6:22 pm | Permalink

    Varys of course.

  28. Jake
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 7:05 pm | Permalink

    GreatJon of Slumber:
    But honestly, the best missed one is Hodor Hodoring down the well.

    Agreed!

  29. Zack
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 7:07 pm | Permalink

    A lot of fun ones this time. I voted for Bran but if I could vote again I’d probably make it for that wonderful QoT line to Varys.

  30. Turncloak
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 7:41 pm | Permalink

    I used the write-in option to vote for “That’s one shameful fucking performance” :-)

  31. Fiona
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 7:44 pm | Permalink

    None of these choices are that great. Surely we had better one-liners than these this season, right?

  32. Khal Frodo
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 8:15 pm | Permalink

    Fiona:
    None of these choices are that great. Surely we had better one-liners than these this season, right?

    “You are a bastard. A daughter-fucking, wildling bastard.”

  33. Winterdark
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 8:47 pm | Permalink

    Best one liner was easilly “Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhagar fought nobly and Rhaegar died”

    Sums up the whole point the the show is trying to make.

  34. khalinthenorth
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 9:07 pm | Permalink

    No throne of cocks? Shame.

  35. Rygar
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 9:13 pm | Permalink

    I was so hoping for the Bannen comment.

  36. Lex
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 10:04 pm | Permalink

    arden:
    I’M NOT TIRED!!!!!!!!

    LOL, that was my favourite line too.

  37. loki
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 10:11 pm | Permalink

    “Maybe he’s the reason half the country is starving.”
    SERIOUSLY

  38. Theon Nodick
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 10:25 pm | Permalink

    “He cried when i took it away from him” – Ramsay Snow’s letter to Balon Greyjoy, regarding Theon’s “favorite toy”

  39. whiteladder
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 10:39 pm | Permalink

    khalinthenorth:
    No throne of cocks? Shame.

    Hear, hear!

    “It’s a shame the throne wasn’t made out of cocks. They’d have never gotten him (Renly) off of it.” -Jaime Lannister

    How is that not on the list?!?

    Tyrion’s “And now my watch begins” was also a fantastic line.

  40. Rickard Greyjoy
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 11:12 pm | Permalink

    “Explain to me why it is more noble to kill 10,000 men in battle then a dozen at dinner.” – Twyin Lannister

  41. loco73
    Posted November 4, 2013 at 11:46 pm | Permalink

    “A sword swallower through and through”…that line had me at hello….just looking at Charles Dance’s face, and by extension Tywin Lannister’s as Dame Diana Riggs aka Lady Olena Tyrell, aka the Queen Of Thorns delivers it which such nonchalance , is just priceless. The one off she gives Varys came a close second for me…

    Lady Olena rules!

  42. ATG
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 12:24 am | Permalink

    Fiona:
    Surely we had better one-liners than these this season, right?

    I would have thought so too.

    Still not the worst selection of quotes, a bit too much Olenna in there maybe? Instead of having two quotes by her maybe you could have added someone else.

  43. Tywinning
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 2:24 am | Permalink

    “Apologies, but you’re one ugly fucker and I’d rather not see you no more.” – Anguy

  44. Winterdark
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 3:55 am | Permalink

    Rickard Greyjoy,

    I still like Jorah’s line better but that’s a close second for me. Tywin always has the best lines.
    (which is a good thing too considering he’s played by Charles Dance)

  45. Ludo
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 4:34 am | Permalink

    “Then you will be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock.”

  46. Sergei Walankov
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 5:28 am | Permalink

    JAMIE: How did you come into Lady Stark’s service? There’s something we can talk about.
    BRIENNE: Not your concern, Kingslayer.
    JAMIE: It had to be recently. You weren’t with her at Winterfell.
    BRIENNE: How would you know?
    JAMIE: Because I visited Winterfell. I would have noticed your dour head smacking into the archways.

  47. Eva
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 6:20 am | Permalink

    arden,

    +1

  48. Ludo
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 8:39 am | Permalink

    “KILL ME AND BE CURSED, YOU ARE NO KING OF MINE”

    *chills*

  49. K
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    I know other people have added this one too – I HAVE to go with “If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.” One of the greatest lines ever!

  50. Rygar
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 9:40 am | Permalink

    “I’m gonna raise the biggest fire the North has ever seen”.

    - Muppet Sam the Eagle

  51. K
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 9:42 am | Permalink

    One more from the Bastard of Bolton – perfectly sums up a lot of the parenting in Westeros apparently – “My Mother taught me to never throw stones at cripples, but my Father taught me to aim for their heads!” Yikes – that guy is a nightmare…

  52. Jen@House Stark
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 10:39 am | Permalink

    Winterdark,

    Hear, hear! That was my fav, too, however, I went with “decrepit” .

  53. umuckurlife
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 10:41 am | Permalink

    I opened this thread already knowing what I was going to vote for. I was shocked that my option wasn’t available. Thus, I’m putting in my write-in vote for Ramsey Snow’s “If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.”

  54. Donut
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 11:18 am | Permalink

    DAFUQ YOU’RE DOING WITH MY BEAR?!

  55. Ms. D. Ranged in AZ
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 11:55 am | Permalink

    I went with “Lysa Arryn of chairs” BUT decrepit was a very close second….both make you stop and think a little. I wonder if that line about Lysa and the chair was actually written in the script or did the actor improvise it. That would be an interesting question for the next interview with Conleth and/or Cogman.

  56. GreatJon of Slumber
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    Just for me – the dramatic lines, like the “explain why it is more noble” don’t really qualify as “0ne-liners,” which by definition are quips. All 5 of the nominees count, as do some others mentioned (I’d forgotten Jaime’s “I’d have seen your dour head smacking into the doorways” bit.)

    Gendry had a lot of great asides this year, too, including his “It wasn’t chicken” to Melisandre about “bowls of brown,” and telling Davos he might be busy later or something, I forget the exchange. Also this:

    “Can you swim?”
    “No.”
    “Then don’t fall out.”

  57. W.James
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    Hodor is the Real Star of Game of Thrones http://goo.gl/ufjc7Q

  58. shadowassassinbabby
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    Arya Dunyett,

    i agree that line should have made the top 5. surprised it didn’t make it into the list or even into the comments until yours.

  59. Veltigar
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 4:17 pm | Permalink

    Winter Is Coming: How so?

    There are no stand out candidates. Normally, there are always 1 or 2 of those. Guess, that it wasn’t a strong season for oneliners.

  60. Bethany
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    No more Hodoring!

  61. Jackie
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 4:57 pm | Permalink

    What no Jaime Lannister? He had so many good ones this season too. What a shame. This is my favorite jaime one liner:

    “Sorry about the sapphires.” – Jaime Lannister

  62. Hodor Targaryen
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 7:38 pm | Permalink

    “If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention” was nominated earlier for best quote, which is sort of the “drama” category for quotes, while this is more the comedy category. I think most of the suggestions in the comments are better fits for that previous category.

    I’d say this is a pretty good list of nominees. QoT could have had 5 quotes up here. Don’t get the love for the Lysa Arryn of chairs quote. Maybe it’s just too inside a joke with the readers/viewers for it to be particularly funny on its own.

  63. Moët
    Posted November 5, 2013 at 8:27 pm | Permalink

    Jamie: “Half a million.”

    When asked by Qyburn about how many lives he’d saved.

  64. Cersei's Lament
    Posted November 6, 2013 at 4:14 pm | Permalink

    Perhaps these should be split up into more separate categories: Best Quote, Best One-Liner, Best Character Exchange, Best…Monologue? I can’t help but feel Jaime’s bath scene and Littlefinger’s “Chaos is a Ladda” are sold a little short when they are broken up to where only a small excerpt is allowed to contend.

  65. GhostCR
    Posted November 6, 2013 at 6:51 pm | Permalink

    GreatJon of Slumber,

    Great ones, specially Cercei’s and Tyrion’s

  66. Hodor's Bastard
    Posted November 6, 2013 at 7:00 pm | Permalink

    Cersei’s Lament:
    Perhaps these should be split up into more separate categories: Best Quote, Best One-Liner, Best Character Exchange, Best…Monologue?I can’t help but feel Jaime’s bath scene and Littlefinger’s “Chaos is a Ladda” are sold a little short when they are broken up to where only a small excerpt is allowed to contend.

    Cool idea….definitely applies to this show.

  67. Walter_Eagle
    Posted November 7, 2013 at 2:38 pm | Permalink

    The quote by Varys is not a one-liner. It’s a one-two punch call and response that depends on Littlefinger’s “Ugly old thing…but it has a certain appeal.” The rest of these came up in conversations, but don’t depend on previous lines to make sense. I went with the “nonexistant”.

  68. squibby
    Posted November 8, 2013 at 3:06 am | Permalink

    Not a single line from the Roose and Walder debrief in 3.10?!? That was a collection of pithy one liners.

    And there were some deliciously dry one liners by the Dragonstone crew.


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