The new season is upon us, which means that your show-watcher only contributor and his award winning, off season Looking Forward series is almost concluded.
It’s time we travel to King’s Landing to take a look at what the Lannisters might be up to for S4. Humor a man on his journey into the unknown, for as far as the Lannisters are concerned, I truly know nothing.
First off, apologies are in order for being a little less active on the site. The knife wound I suffered put a man down longer than anticipated. Following a procedure such as the one I encountered, you truly realize how aging changes the body and its ability to heal. I planned on returning to the office after five days. The Recovery Gods laughed at me.
However, I do owe many of you a debt of gratitude. Many of you suggested that I take in the other great show of our current time, Breaking Bad, and I did so. It was as excellent as you had advertised and helped tremendously in passing the hours of couch time endured. To those of you who mentioned and recommended it, I am indebted to you. And Oz always pays his debts (although it may have to be in trade since the extended time off left a man a little light in the wallet area).
Just a reminder: As the season draws closer and our site encounters new readership, please be reminded that these posts are written by someone who has never read a page of any of the books. I have taken an oath and it must be upheld. The choice to not read them and to be shocked and awed by the show is mine, and many of the Unsullied army have made that same decision.
I encourage comments and interaction from the Sullied. After all, you guys are the primary reason I am here. But please be respectful by not posting Spoilers in the comments. I cannot speak for the other Unsullied, but I will tell you that I plan on reading all of the books upon conclusion of the show. Until then, all we can do is look forward to the new Season and attempt to make educated (or mostly uneducated) predictions on where it all leads.
And so my watch begins. Again.
The Lannisters have successfully ascended to being the apparent most powerful family in Westeros. At this point in the show, I don’t know who would top them. Their stronghold seems to be on solid ground thanks to Tywin and Tyrion (although the latter has received very little credit). But the viewer would be naïve to believe that this power is not destined to shift at some point. The question is, will it happen this season?
Here are a few issues I would like to see resolved in the coming Season, preferably in the first episode, if you don’t mind. It’s been a long off-season.
The current Hand/Grandfather/Tormenter of the King and arguably the most powerful man in the Seven Kingdoms.
Tywin seems to have almost everything in control, including the King himself. But how long will that last?
It seems like I waited the entirety of S3 for a clash to come between Joffrey and Paw Paw. Then finally, in Episode 10 Paw put Joff to bed without his supper and it was everything I had hoped it would be.
To begin S4 with yet another clash between the two would be a beautiful opening. But I can’t see Joff putting up with much more of Paw telling him what to do or how to run his Kingdom. The real question is, who gets fed up with whom first. Could it be the end of the King? More on Joff shortly.
The Queen regent, mother of King Crossbow, and the brother lover like no other.
The role of Cersei intrigues me just because I can’t imagine where her arc is going. I have to assume that the happy nuptials with Loras will not occur, especially now that Jaime is back and Loras enjoys sword swallowing. This would likely mean that Loras joins the King’s Guard.
But will Cersei accept handless Jaime? One of the new clips shows them sharing a romantic moment, so you can assume that they jump right in where they left off. But what happens if Tywin finds out? This brings us to…
The handless son of the Hand with the sis he can’t resist.
The favored son has returned to the KL and has apparently paid a visit to the royal barber. Lice problem maybe? Who knows.
Regardless, Jaime and Cersei will surely rekindle their sis-bromance. But as I alluded to above, Tywin is in town and we can assume the two will have to be a little more careful in their quest for incest. Secret Lovers is playing in the background.
Jaime looks to have taken his place back in the King’s Guard and will no doubt be protecting his nephew… er, I mean, his son (the DNA test results have not be disclosed). The clip of Jaime and Joff together looks fantastic and his reemergence as a player in the Capital should only add to a storyline that looks intriguing as is.
But where does Jaime fit in all of it? Will there be repercussions for Bolton because of the loss of the hand? Will Tywin respect him more or less because of the loss and for what he went through in S3? Will he protect his new bathtub buddy? And how will Cersei feel about that?
Potentially the baddest woman in the Seven, the sworn protector of two deceased people, and master bather of Kingslayers. (That’s master BATHER).
Here is where a man could possibly loose his temper with a storyline.
If by chance Cersei or anyone else for that matter scoffs at Brienne and A.) throws her in the dungeons, B.) forces her into indentured servitude, C.) makes her perform services in a brothel, or D.) any of the above including any act that could potentially harm the she-beast, I will personally take issue.
After all they have been through, Brienne deserves to be treated with respect and I expect Jaime to make sure she receives it.
But herein lies the beauty of the show. I am so invested in her character that I care enough to threaten an actor’s actions even though he had nothing to do with the writing or the adaptation. And I don’t care. Do not let them F**K with Brienne, Jaime.
Sorry. On with the show.
Married to a minor and lover of a hooker.
The teaser clip of Tyrion in shackles or cuffs or whatever medieval device has him in lock down is downright mind-boggling. What the hell did he do now?
Is this punishment for not making baby with the teenager? Or for the ongoing romance with Shae? Or for slapping King nephew again?
Or could it be something worse? If I am not mistaken, he says something to the tune of, “I don’t know how I am going to get out of this one.”
Either way, the future doesn’t look promising for the half man. Sansa still needs to get out of Dodge as soon as possible, for I fear that if Tyrion receives a punishment in which he is predisposed in another location, Sansa stands the chance of being left out and open to the hobbies of the Joff.
Shae is in an even worse position and most certainly should have heeded the advice of Lord Varys. I will be shocked if she makes it through the Season unless Tyrion runs her ass out of town before the shit hits the chandelier.
Pessimism. Spread it. Speaking of pessimism…
The Future of Joffrey
It is relatively clear by the released clips that the wedding of Joff and Marg goes through. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t go down without a hitch. Are there any weddings in Westeros that do?
Regardless, and as shocked as I would be if Shae survives, I would be even more shocked if Joffrey survives another 10 episodes.
The clock is ticking. There are only so many people you can piss off before it catches up with you, even when you are a King.
So, here are some unlikely ways Joff meets his end. In some weird sadistic way, I hope I am wrong. Joffrey adds a dynamic to the battle of the Seven Kingdoms that would be difficult to replace. Disliked characters are sometimes so perfect that their absence takes away from the production.
However, I still believe it’s inevitable. If it’s not soon, it’s definitely later.
Tywin kills him: The disdain grows. Paw Paw and Grandson aren’t playing ball in the back yard or fishing in the bay together. Paw and Joff get into another argument and Paw tries to send Joff to his room again, this time with no milk and lemon cakes. Joff loses it and attacks Paw only to be immediately stabbed and gutted like the stag in Season 1. Likelihood: low.
Tyrion kills him: If this is the case, it answers the shackle question. After Joff accidentally finds out about Shae, he threatens to tell all on the Littlefinger Talk Show unless Tyrion agrees to let him have one last romp with Sansa. Tyrion gets drunk and axes Joffrey’s head in half and says, “Who’s the half man now, bitch?” Likelihood: very low.
Margaery kills him: After the honeymoon from hell, Margaery sees first hand the monster in which she has wed. Upon the conclusion of a spanking from a kraken tentacle on a romantic beach at a Westerosi all-inclusive Inn similar to a Sandals resort, Margaery has had enough. As the little shit goes for a post-sadistic swim, Margaery takes aim with King Crossbow’s crossbow and creates another asshole in the asshole. Likelihood: moderate
The Lord Oaf of Highgarden Kills Him: As any protective father would do after learning of a honeymoon from hell, the Lord Oaf stuffs Joffrey’s ass with flowers and lights it. As exotic as it may sound, I have a hard time believing that someone that is referred to as the Lord Oaf would have the balls to kill a King. Likelihood: extremely low.
Cersei kills him: Some parents eat their young. I saw it on National Geographic so it must be true. Likelihood: No.
Sansa kills him: This fictional ending needs no fictional story arc as to why Sansa would be justified in killing Joffrey. After all she has been through, this conclusion for Joff would be fitting and quite satisfying for Stark fan loyalists. She should have pushed him off the walk in S1 when Joff was showing off Ned’s head. Of course, she would likely be killed shortly thereafter, but what a sweet revenge it would be. Likelihood: Better than average.
Regardless of the how, Joffrey’s days seem to be numbered. But what the hell do I know? He might make it long enough to be scorched by Dany and the Dragons assuming they ever make it there. But I doubt it. Someone will get him, and war will turn to chaos.
That’s all for me today WiCsters! A man is quite happy to be back in action with all of you and I can’t wait for the histories and lore on the new DVD and of course, the start of S4!
I’ve got one more chapter in the Looking Forward series to come within the next couple of weeks that will concern miscellaneous shit that I don’t know enough about to author a whole post on. So be looking out!
As per the norm, PLEASE DO NOT POST SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS! I pride myself on staying Unsullied and must do so at all costs. Respect the army!
Until next time, stay warm, be nice to each other, and may there always be peace in your realm.
“Unbowed. Unbent. Unsullied.”
Looking Forward Season 4, Part 1: Lysafinger
Looking Forward Season 4, Part 2: Stannis
Looking Forward Season 4, Part 3: The North Remembers
Looking Forward Season 4, Part 4: Bolton
Looking Forward Season 4, Part 5: Daenerys
Looking Forward Season 4, Part 6: The Stark and The Hound
Looking Forward Season 4, Part 7: Lord Varys
Looking Forward Season 4, Part 8: The Wall