Glad tidings to all WiC Ladies and Sers, and welcome the new and improved (and still identifiable) WiC! I propose a toast to our trusty editor Zack for a great new design while staying true to the old, as we worship them both. Well done, good Ser.
Welcome to your weekly installment of Unsullied nonsense where we look forward to the next episode and wish away our weekends.
The premiere delivered and for the last five days I’ve been trying to figure out what the hell a “Thenn” is. But regardless, let’s focus on what was not included in 401 whether it be characters, storylines, or answers to burning questions.
Grab your favorite weekend beverage, and saddle up the new ponies. It won’t be long now…
I’m going to forgive D&D and the other show runners/writers/associates for not including my guilty pleasure in the first episode. But a man’s patience runs thin.
Lysa is due for some screen time. The same goes for Robin. Fortunately, getting one usually means getting the other since they are almost invariably attached at the bewb. At least her name got a mention in 401 by the Hound. All is forgiven, unless she is a no show in 402.
If that be the case, may the Gods have mercy on your soul.
Besides the Lysa itch that has been a constant nuisance since S1 (and caused a horrible rash on a man’s ass), there are others that need to be seen. Reader Kael of the Lake commented that this Sunday should really be considered the premiere, part 2 since there are so many characters that were “no-shows” in the first one.
But we should be used to it. Thus is an inherent fanatical hazard of being a GoT fan… too many characters, not enough minutes.
Nevertheless, here are a few I hope we hear from. Chime in and let me know what characters and stories you hope to see more of, for I will surely omit some important ones.
Littlefinger: When we finally get a glimpse of Aunt Lysa and cousin Robin, the assumption is that Baelish will be included in the package… buy two Arryns, get a Littlefinger free (assuming he makes it to the Vale and the viewers ever get to see it).
Roose and Ramsay: I still hold the expectation that we will see these two meet this season for a father/bastard reunion. The sooner the better as Roose has become one of my favorite personas (even with the occurrences at the Twins).
I’m with the band.
Ramsay is listed in the synopsis with his “pet” Reek: Theon and his new identity were MIA from 401 but there’s no reason to believe that he is not still being tormented by Ramsay. Let’s hope this newfound use is not horribly torturous.
We also know that Yara is supposedly en route with Pyke’s finest killers. But will we see Balon this year?
Bran, Hodor, and the Band Reed: Bran and Co. were nowhere to be found for the season premiere but did make an appearance in the previews for next week. So maybe, just maybe, the most important person of this whole damn show (speculatively) makes an appearance this week. Of course, I’m referring to Hodor.
Stannis, Davos, and Red Velvet: A few pics of the next ep have been released and the Mannis has been included in said pics (I said the words, damnya). A man can’t disseminate where they are, but it doesn’t look like he got an invitation to the RW. Regardless, Stannis on-screen is welcome even if he is only accompanied by jar-babies. On second thought… no.
Speaking of, will we see Seleyse? Shireen? (Edit: The answer is apparently yes).
Edmure and The Blackfish: For all the viewers know, Edmure is still in the Frey dungeon and the Blackfish may still be taking a piss on a tree (he had A LOT to drink). Supposedly, the Blackfish escaped safely after concluding his long piss, which is a good thing as I really enjoyed his character. But the truth is that I have no reason to believe we see either one of the Tullys anytime soon with the Starks in such disarray. Let’s hope a man is mistaken.
Rickon and Osha (and Shaggy Dog): Did they make it to the Umbers?
Locke: This is probably a package deal when seeing Bolton, but the local slap-chopper of hands and the only known bear owner of Westeros would be a welcome addition to the season should he decide to show up. TECH SUPPORRTTT!
The Brotherhood: Where the hell are you, Beric? Thoros has joined us here on WiC.net, but you and Anguy are still MIA. Reveal yourself.
Mance: Presumably prepping the big fire and the attack on the Wall, Mance hasn’t been seen in some time and that’s a damn shame.
Lancel: How long does it take to recover from wounds at Blackwater? Geez. Tyrion needs someone to torment, while others are hungry for a Lancel Sandwich.
Varys: He is in the preview, and episodes with a Spider are always better. That is all.
Besides the itch to see certain characters, there is always a consistent burn of questions that fill my mind. Here a few, and please feel free to share yours below. BUT NO SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS!!
What kind of girl stuff does Cersei have going on? As readers Lisa Y. and Dany’s One-Eyed Dragon and I discussed, Cersei mentions having some sort of “sickness” that she didn’t want to tell Jaime about. No other information was ever disclosed. The speculation on this alone could go all over the place and this is definitely not my area of expertise, so I have made an executive decision to not touch it (no pun intended).
But, could Cersei be with child? And if so, would that mean it’s Lancel’s? Oh dear Lord.
What will happen with the Loras/Cersei wedding plan? It is obvious that Cersei has no intent on marrying the Knight of Flowers. So, how is she going to get out of it without pissing off Paw Paw?
Will the Warg Thenn speak? Surely, the show runners didn’t get Joseph Gatt just to look cool and hold an owl on his shoulder. This guy had one of the most memorable characters in Banshee and needs some screen time. I am also hoping we get some history and backstory on whatever their kind is, why their appearance looks like Xerxes and the Albino consummated and made baby, and the reason they literally eat Crow.
What is the significance of the necklace given to Sansa from Drunk Dontos? Is there even one?
What is about to happen with Shae and Tyrion? It most likely won’t be pleasant. And is that Shae slapping Bronn in the preview?
Do the leeches actually have any bearing on the future? One of the usurpers is gone (RIP Robb). The other two, Balon and Joff, are still kicking.
When will we see Gendry again? A while back, one book reader commented that the Gendry storyline as it is shown on TV is not in the books and his future is uncertain to everyone. I don’t know if this is true, but it would be nice to know if he at least made it back to KL considering he had no previous experience with boat rowing.
And, because my obsession will not subside…
How will Lysa react to the wedding proposal of Baelish? If it’s anything besides am attempt to throw him out the moon door, I will be shocked. “Make the Mockingbird fly Mommy!”
Of course, I write all of this to say that if there is indeed a full-on royal wedding this week, we may not get answers to any of this as most of the time will likely be spent in the KL… once again, a hazard of being a GoT fan. The synopsis states that Joff and Marg host a breakfast, but surely there’s more to it than merely an order of smothered and covered.
Pass the cortisone.
That’s it for me today boys and girls. A man will be back Monday for the Unsullied Recap with leftover wedding cake and party favors.
If Lysa shows up, don’t forget #breastfeedingboysunite on twitter. (By the way, I am now passing along good information but writing insignificant things @ozofthrones, and if you spoil me, understand that the Gods of Twitter shall rain bird shit upon you for the rest of your days.)
As always, please refrain from putting spoilers in the comments, even veiled since we are still experimenting with the “hide the spoilers” feature on the redesign. A man thanks you in advance.
Enjoy your weekend, don’t get on the saddle if you’ve been overindulging in ale, and may there be peace in your realm. –Oz
“Unbowed. Unbent. Unsullied.”