FaB here once again with the show that never ends.
Y’all know the deal; how we (@Axechucker and @The_Rabbit01) gather tweets from each given episode, etc. And if you don’t, well, screw you.
Stalwarts for this week were @motelsonthemoon, and @Sir_Davidio, and @LyannaTargaryen (keeper of the GoT drinking game rules) straight up came back to life. Follow ‘em on Twitter.
I mean, if you like laughs.
(And I generally try not to shout-out the same person more than once a season, but @TaraGiancaspro always has me going, “Damn, Tara.”)
Let’s git it awn!
So it was not only Game of Thrones day, but it was also May the 4th Be With You day! And so of course we encountered a few GoT/Star Wars mashups.
@AngryGoTFan: IF GRRM WROTE IT OWEN AND BERU WOULD HAVE BEEN FLAYED AND CASTRATED FIRST #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS #GAMEOFSTARWARS
@JillybeanButtle: I’d like to see Craster’s redone as the bar scene #starwars Rast as bartender, Craster’s wives as the band, Karl is Greedo
@AngryGoTFan: IF GRRM WROTE IT R2D2 AND C3PO WOULD HAVE BEEN LOVERS #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS #GAMEOFSTARWARS
People had various ways of preparing for the ep, of course…
@nthonypepe: I think what’s most impressive about Game of Thrones is that it’s based on a true story.
@tuanntran92: I turned off my air purifier so that I could hear better. That’s how you know it’s real love #TeamLannister
@OzofThrones: Prepping Robin a sippy cup so Crazypants and I can have some quality time later. #Lysa
Excitement for seeing Lysa again was actually a popular topic:
@HotelFoxtrot: I know we’re all desensitized to boobies on #GameOfThrones, but I really hope we don’t see aunty Lysa breast feeding tonight.
@AngryGoTFan: TONIGHT I BETTER HEAR OH PETYR MY PRECIOUS MY PRECIOUS OH PEEEEEEETYR!!!!! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@YgrittetheWild: NGL, looking forward to Baelish being the one that gets creeped out for once.
@sykeny: Can Not wait to see what happens to Bran tonight!!!!
@DaphneDoo_: I hope we get to see more pussy on tonight’s #GameOfThrones –> @Ser_Pounce
@LyannaTargaryen: I see a lot of drinking in my future with all of the #Hodor Hodor-ing previewed in this episode #keeperofdrinkinggamerules
@SamTarly_: With all the changes from the books, I have no idea what’s going to happen tonight.
Neither did this guy:
@TheManJaqen: I’m off to concentrate on the show. I’ll be back for all the righteous indignation after. #offline
@jaffacakes: Almost time to hate-watch #GameOfThrones.
Time never better spent!
@valecampi_JD: 3am from Italy. I’m here to watch #GameOfThrones I love toooooo much this series to miss a episode! #ValarMorghulis
That’s pretty dedicated. And maybe slightly illegal.
@tmanuell: Now time for Titties and Kings.
No titties. See:
@BeautyBrienne: Whoa. No nudity. Mark the date.
@WintersRose92: You know #GameOfThrones is serious when there’s no nudity in the ratings.
@duckandcover: This opening theme gives me strength. Ramin Djawadi needs all of the awards thrown at him.
@WiCThoros: I don’t get why people think the sound to the theme song is a duh its more whimsical like wee woah wee wee wee woah.
There is some wee woah, but it assuredly ends with a DUN dun dun-dun DUN dun…
There was a distinct place missing from the opening credits:
@BeautyBrienne: Aww, no Eryie tonight? Or did I miss it?
Not sure if they’re just getting lazy with the opening these days or what.
@infiniterain: I even get angry at the animated version of Meereen in the credits. Goddamm you, Meereen, why are you even.
We opened on the coronation of King Tommen Lann–errrr-atheon, First (and probably last) of His Name.
@LyannaTargaryen: We have a new king! #Tommen DRINK! #keeperofdrinkinggamerules
Sadly, that’s probably a legit drinking game rule for this show.
@rach_eva: King Tommen!!!!
@BigDamnHerosSir: I want them to build a handicap ramp up to the throne for Grandmaester Pycelle.
@LyannaTargaryen: Every time I see Pycelle I think of the magician with the fishbowl in The Prestige.
@7373tinkerbell: Wow already crowning him? Faster than Johnson after the Kennedy assassination #tackyiknow
More like dated.
But I’m old. I appreciated it.
@Toireasa94: I love Tommen! He is a good little Lannister.
@RELnice06: Another Lanister as King …smdh
@Bigswivel34: I am tired of these boy kings! Lol
@deefalc: “That little boy is gonna die” – my boyfriend’s #unsullied prediction #tommen
@AngryGoTFan: WHERE THE THE HIGH SEPTONS RAINBOW CROWN?! NOO!!! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@Rog_44: Long may he reign
I guess we’ll see.
@duckandcover: I hope they cleaned that crown after Joffrey used it.
@fatpinkcast: tommen’s like “awww yissss gonna appoint some cats on my council”
@moriartyoo: Tommen is a fucking babe bye
@Ayanah32: The new King is Cute
@TaraGiancaspro: Tommen has Bieber Hair which always portends doom
@ShadowTodd: ALL HAIL KING BUTTERS
@DaveDdbig77: At least the new King has good taste in women.
@IamEezy: looks like Margery wants to sir pounce the king.
@HoganMcLaughlin: Get it Tommen
Give him time!
@InsomniaBooks: Cersei with the c-block.
@javitagracia: MOM SAYS NO!!!
@deefalc: Tonight on To Catch a Predator: Margaery Tyrell
@TaraGiancaspro: Margaery’s boobs are absent from the opening credits, and the coronation. Wow.
@Sir_Davidio: God Cersei, you’re STILL upset about Joffrey dying? That happened like three whole episodes ago
@Random_Azz: He shocked you because he was inbred!
@markwalkerisme: CERSEI IS NOT EASILY SHOCKED, AND THIS IS A WOMAN WHO HAS SEX JUST ABOUT ON HER DEAD SON’S CORPSE.
@caseykassidy: Cersei, don’t look so down. Your son is still King, and this one isn’t a psycho.
@cam_diesel: Cersei setting Margaery up, bruh. idc the end game, but this isn’t just a friendly conversation. Not by a long shot
@mherr1979: This heart to heart between Cersei and Margaery is freaking me out.
@MichaelClawson: Cersei has a certain sex appeal, even though she’s #craycray.
@KevinFalk7: Anyone else ship Tomargery i do!
Tommaery? Tommery? Tomgaery?
@lipstickxzombie: I love Margaery, but that was bullshit. She knows what she wants.
@SeattleSlim: Don’t say a word, Margaery. #itsatrap
@NuclearWynter: Margery, just shut the fuck up.
@YgrittetheWild: A catfight just outside of Tommen’s presence. Fitting.
It was technically the opposite of a fight!
@infiniterain: LOL sister or mother? Don’t worry, Margaery, she’s a Lannister, they don’t take this distinction too seriously xD
@aerynsunx: Margaery’s face just said, “Bitch, please. We took out Joffrey. We’ll take you out, too.”
@becca_diane11: Both Lena and Natalie are amazing #somanyplots
@BlackGirlNerds: The term “Tyrellin” should replace the verb manipulate #DemThrones
@Tiggy4Real: Cersei be having these moments where she be real with people . . . and then she be a bitch for no reason.
I felt like she was playing these people. Or trying to.
@mW_: Wait, didn’t Cersei say she’d have Margaery killed if she called her sister again?
@BigDamnHerosSir: Cersei, Margarey called you “sister”. I believe you owe her a strangling-in-her-sleep.
@BeautyBrienne: OH snap bitch. You’re gonna find yourself strangled.
@rebekahwsm: Cersei is gonna kill you.
@britt_duke: LOL MARGERY JUST PLAYIN’ THAT GAME.
@hiimjade: This is like the most beautiful bitch-off
@curvygeekyfngrl: Cersei us not buying what Margery is dishing. GOTNOC #demthrones
@KevinKlawitter: “We may be faced with an alarming number of weddings soon” OH GOD NO!!!
@becca_diane11: Four weddings and like a million funerals
They should just start holding funerals and weddings at the same time.
So across the Narrow Sea in Meereen…
@iontrone: Dany’s Small Council has small chairs.
@jennifur0902: Khalessi!!! I love her!
@cam_diesel: Glad I was wrong about there being no Khaleesi this week. Her and Missandei so bae.
@7373tinkerbell: Oh thank the Seven dany changed clothes
@Lem889: Dany that dress is flyyy
@LyannaTargaryen: I want Danaerys’s dress tonight. #FashionofThrones
@feellikepdiddy: Wonder how Dany gets her curling iron working so well in Mereen
Dany always gets X number of people tweeting out their rampant adoration for her. Which is nice. But shouldn’t they be calling her “Mhysa?”
@rosie_LP: I love you, Ser Jorah.
It’s the yellow shirt.
@amarettosaurus: ugh dat shirt jorah tho
SHUT UP ITS BEAUTIFUL
I have emotional ties to that yellow shirt.
@bexysteel: On a sartorial note, Dany and Missandei have new dresses. Jorah still has his yellow pirate shirt. Everyone wins.
Thank you, Bex.
@abutterflyloves: OMG.. Jorah and Daario they are looking really beautiful tonight.
@AVAETC: I’m sorry. I miss last season’s Dario for Khaleesi. Actually who I really miss is Khal Drogo. But that’s another story. #DemThrones
@mherr1979: Daario continues to give zero fucks.
@fitzyMFNcent: The new Daario Naharis is starting to grow on me. #ButWhyNewBlueBeard?
@GameOverRos: Daario took ships because he’s Daario, bitch.
@duckandcover: “I HAVE THE TWO BEST ADVISERS IN THE LAND. .. DAARIO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”
Sounds about right.
@JonSnowBastrd: “King Joffrey is dead.” I’ll never get tired of hearing that.
@AngryGoTFan: THE MEEREENESE NAVY COMPLETELY RUINS DANAERYS PLOT!!!! WHY IS NO ONE ATTACKING HBO YET!?!??!?! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@motelsonthemoon: Dany the “I conquer cities and leave them and expect them to be loyal to me because I’m stupid” Queen
@AmandaKespohl: Damn, you just can’t free people so that they stay freed ’round here.
@priscillabinato: lá vem daenerys com mais estupidez
Hey–hey now! Unwarranted.
@mgiblue21: Not a single mention of Dothraki. Oh wait, that’s because @HBO killed them all for no reason.
Okay, that was warranted. Where are the Dothraki she swore to protect? Did she make their enemies “die screaming?” Is Kovarro dead and no one told us?!
@infiniterain: “Not you, Jorah”. ‘Sit, Jorah, good dog!’
@mherr1979: Jorah gets to stay. Be still my heart! (Yes, I still ship it. Sue me.)
@Sir_Davidio: CLEON THE BUTCHER WAS MENTIONED
@duckandcover: THE BUTCHER KING REFERENCE. Excellent. We’re just driving all over the book map, aren’t we.
@selenya: Dany, girl, finally asking the right questions.
@Bigswivel34: It’s time to use the dragons!!! Start burning shit up! Dany!!
@caseykassidy: Yes Dany! Do it! Plot change! Actually cross the narrow sea!
Mmm… nope. Not happening.
@Harold_Stu: She said it herself. She’s not sailing for Westeros, shows over
@bexysteel: Book purists must be happy to see that they’re keeping Dany just as delusional as in the source material #sorryboutit
@Sir_Davidio: “Why should anyone trust me? Why should anyone follow me?” Good questions, Dany
@BigDamnHerosSir: “I will not sail for Westeros” “What then?” “First thing’s first, I need to find my dragons. Where the hell have they gone!?”
@SherryIcy: I will do what queens do. I will rule. #Targaryen
@LostOnTheFringe: OMG, SHE IS MY QUEEN FOREVER. #TeamDany
@AryaUnderfoot99: You already rule!
@DCPlod: Oh dear. So Dany’s basically back to square one.
@becca_diane11: And the Mereenese Knot begins!!! #soknotty
@heyjulieann: this is some real book five shit my friends
It really is. I have a feeling we may be mostly caught up with a few storylines by season’s end.
So to the Bloody Gate we go…
@mherr1979: Slimy as shit, but I do love Littlefinger.
@ConfusedGoTFan: WHERE IS ROBERT BARATHEONS BASTARD GIRL WHO GOES UP AND DOWN THE ROCK?! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@ErinMorelli: ALAYNE! HE SAID IT!
@princiell: ALAYNE. THEY’VE SAID IT. ALAYNE STONE.
Things seemed to be on track when–
@AngryGoTFan: ALAYNE HIS NIECE?!?!?!? NIECE?!?!?!!?!?!?!? #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@dainenyu: NIECE???? AARRGHGGHGH #NOONEUNDERSTAAAANDS
@WiCThoros: UNCLE? WTF….. #NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEUNDERSTANDS
@TamiTime22: Wait …what?!?!—> says everyone who’s read the books. #doespetyrbaelishevenhavesiblings #dieherhairalready #notbythebook
Yeah, more than a few people noted that change. I wonder what the reason was. Does niece just sound better?
@cam_diesel: Littlefinger and Sansa. She not as naive as before, but still not on top of the game.
@motelsonthemoon: “No one has ever conquered the Eeyrie….BUT MEEEEEEEEEE!” Littlefinger signature mustache twirl.
@BreakingBraavos: Dave and Dan saved Marillion. such upright fellows. no one talks about this
I too wonder about Marillion. Sure he lost his tongue, but… wouldn’t that be even more convenient?
@WiCThoros: why do i feel like the knights of the vale are from monty python?
@CtrlAltComplete: Also that one solider had his shield upside down….
Maybe the actor was just playing a dumb guard.
@duckandcover: What laughingly easy path is this to the Eyrie?
@theSamwellTarly: Wow the approach to the Eyrie looks a lot different!
And so up inside the Eyrie…
@HotelFoxtrot: Here comes the crazy!
@taykell01: The Vale looks awesome sauce! But Lysa is still a lunatic!!
@deefalc: Sansa just stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone
@stripedteacups: I hope she won’t want to give her a welcome breastfeeding.
@LaurieHaz: Oh how I’ve missed Crazy Aunt Lysa!
@AzuliaZebleaux: LYSA THE TRUE QUEEN OF WESTEROS
@chanelrefa: Oh Lord! The breastfeeding 10 y/o is back!
@babasale: This weird boy again
@NiceQueenCersei: GoT Milk?
@aerynsunx: So that’s what Robyn looks like detached from the boob.
@TaraGiancaspro: Still lappin’ up that titty milk. Time to switch to almond, son.
@ConfusedGoTFan: ROBYN SEEMS TO BE MUCH HEALTHIER THAN HE SHOULD BE! #ASOIAF
@motelsonthemoon: Shit. Breast milk can do wonders for health. Recommending it to all my friends.
@LyannaTargaryen: SweetRobin is even taller than Bran! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@Bigswivel34: Oh damn! I am so glad the boy is not nursing still well at least not on camera!
@BlackGirlNerds: Good to see the kid off breast milk.
Do we know that for a fact though…?
@ConfusedGoTFan: Ok im wrong that retard is definitely Robyn Arryn…
@gin313: these two creep me the fuck out.
@GoHugYourself: I swear to the gods, if this kid starts breastfeeding I will flip.
@pghsusan: I hope that boy is not still sucking on those titties. #DemThrones
@LinnetCoppa: Is it weird that the one thing in #GameOfThrones that freaks me out the most is the nursing prince? #icky
@amarettosaurus: he all just tossed his present. ungrateful boob sucker
@WhiskeyWin: “Thanks for the gift, Uncle Petyr. I want to see it fly.”
@theFictionphile: The kid who plays Robin possesses some crazy skills in the acting crazy department.
@Ultimategamer11: Man did anyone else besides me want to push Robin through that hole?
@LifeInNeon: How about we make this kid fly…
@Lem889: Push her, Petyr
@MadMakNY: Sansa should just shove all three of these people out that Moon Door.
So Lysa got Petyr in her claws, and TRUTHS started happening…
@wednesdaydreams: OH MY GOD IT’S ALL COMING OUT
@gudvibesordie: Well ain’t that Little Finger just the slimmest of all the snakes
@Sir_Davidio: For once, Littlefinger knows what it’s like when someone else won’t shut the hell up about secrets and plots
Then I think the full implication of this started to dawn on people…
@cam_diesel: OH SHIT!!!!! HE WAS IN ON JOHN ARRYN’S DEATH TOO!??!?!?!!?!?!? BIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@WiCThoros: 0______0 SHE KILLED JON ARRYN!!!! MURDER!
@ciscotheface: Wait wait wait Littlefinger is the mastermind?!?!? Son of a….
@MaddieGras: Nope nope nope. That’s wrong. That’s not how Arryn died. Seriously you”re ruining this show
That kind of is how Jon Arryn died.
@Angelpeach06: Any woman kissing Littlefinger is awkward.
@RoseofTarth: Isn’t it fortunate that Lysa Arryn speaks in exposition?
@LyannaTargaryen: Littlefinger even turns Lysa’s regular exposition into #sexposition
The power of the ‘Finger.
@rustymk2: LITTLEFINGER BE PIMPIN.
@SamDianeK: Lady Lysa Stage 5 Clinger
@Harold_Stu: Details of murder and conspiracy turn Baelish on like nothing else
He didn’t really look turned on though…
@GameOverRos: Captain Creepy has never looked more uncomfortable. I love it.
@infiniterain: Lmao Pedofinger is, like, negative 100 into this kiss right now.
@Sir_Davidio: Littlefinger: “I’ve made a huge mistake”
@iontrone: Pe-Tire kissed Lysa because she was telling the TV viewers too many secrets :)
@motelsonthemoon: Lysa Arryn’s foreplay includes making Littlefinger drink breast milk.
@TaraGiancaspro: Baelish and Lysa making out is like that Hagrid and Dobby fanfic that went around the web
I remember it well. Fondly, even.
@AngryGoTFan: LYSA IS DISTURBINGLY STILL CLOTHED #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@PresGreen: Little finger is the Frank Underwood of Game of Thrones #HouseOfCards
Except he actually has opposition that occasionally seems threatening, unlike easy-breezy Frank.
@deefalc: Villainizing Littlefinger and humanizing Cersei. No me gusta
@Beembee3: So basically, Petyr Baelish is behind every evil plot in this series
@theSamwellTarly: GOD DAMMIT LYSA ARRYN IS THE BIGGEST BRIDEZILLA EVER.
@infiniterain: I mean, listen. Littlefinger is the absolute worst. But Aiden can get it any day of the fucking week. ANY DAY.
@ReadersRambling: It takes a lot to out-gross Littlefinger- but I’m pretty sure Lady Lysa just did it.
@JonSnowBastrd: Petyr and Lysa’s wedding was such a dull affair. No one died.
@NickGraham: That scene between Littlefinger and Lysa was amazing. Perfect casting.
@thellou: Lysa and Littlefinger are the worst, yet most perfectly suited couple on this show. My skin crawls but I can’t look away!
@theSamwellTarly: LYSA IS ALL LIKE, LET ME SHOW YOU MY MOON DOOR.
@TheDove_Stark: I will be disappointed if I don’t hear her screaming “Petyr make me a baby!”
…She screamed, at least!
@SeattleSlim: Petyr, got a kiss on him lol and he is taking her all the way down honey! #Illhavewhatsheshaving #demthrones
@evilapprentice: I…don’t want to hear about your screaming. Or hear the screaming itself. GROSS.
@YgrittetheWild: YESSSSSSS! OH PETTTTYRRRRRR!!!!!
@heyjulieann: MAKE ME A BABY PEYTR
@duckandcover: *DEEP BREATH* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
@extraORRdINary: Lmaooooooooooo yoooooooooooooo
@amarettosaurus: so it’s so odd we’re not seeing their sex scene. right? RIGHT?
@fridasyl: Oh My!! She is a screamer!!!
Lysa’s screaming was very popular on Twitter.
@rareunearthly: Well she wasn’t kidding.
@LyannaTargaryen: Well… At least Lysa was honest? #listeningtoyourfamilybangproblems
@Harold_Stu: At least Lysa isn’t a liar
@Who_Hurt_You: Fucking wow
@BigDamnHerosSir: “Listen to her carry on” “Sounds like she’s being mauled by a tiger” “She is” “What??” “Westeros weddings are dangerous, man”
@Sir_Davidio: For the first time, HBO avoids showing a sex scene. Nobody would want to see that.
Speak for yourself.
Woulda been hilarious.
@motelsonthemoon: I can only imagine Petyr trying not to cry right now during this vocal sex scene.
@sarahrebeccaw: Oh god I do not need to be hearing this.
@Random_Azz: Little Finger must have beat that thang up!
@JLHarris92: Told you Littlefinger was a big player in the Game
@STLAbuBadu: Lord Petyr Baelish is that dude. Mastermind.
@BubblesDeux: Little Finger. Going where no man really ever needs to go.
@RigsbyStClaire: First rule of pimpin’ Lord Baelish: never stick it in crazy! #gtfo
@MagnumPrime: Lassie cum home.
@BeautyBrienne: THIS IS GROSS. AND HILARIOUS. BUT MOSTLY GROSS.
@duckandcover: Is Lysa having sex or is a pig being gutted?
@WiC_Fury: Can’t even complain about the screaming sex, y’all, that’s book accuracy.
@AKA_Qthulhu: Littlefinger learned his technique from Pod.
@CARMELDIMPLEZZ: She wasn’t lying either. She howling!! Lmao
@Dixie_Chic98: Sounds like a god-damn coyote if you ask me…..
@JonMcQueen: Someone’s faking it
Might be Littlefinger.
@nicju_: I am REALLY uncomfortable.
So was Sansa.
@FMK88: I can relate, Sansa…
@SayWhatSugar: Hasn’t Sansa suffered enough?!
@ashkjsdads: Sansa all fml
@Bigswivel34: Poor Sansa…well shit she should be used to this by now
@AngryGoTFan: WHY IS HER HAIR RED AND WHY ISNT SHE DREAMING ABOUT THE HOUND KISSING HER?!?! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@7373tinkerbell: Sansa is like damn. Where’s that necklace? I need it?
So we caught up with Cersei and daddy-dearest, Tywin…
@cam_diesel: Awwwww. Daddy-daughter time. Isn’t this precious. /vomits
@LyannaTargaryen: 77 courses mentioned… I feel cheated of my outrage. #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
Outrage cheated! Drink!
@Jordeo: Lannister’s got a credit downgrade
@LauraByrneCrist: LOL boozy Cersei can’t trouble her pretty little head w/finances
@becca_diane11: No Cersei the Iron Bank is run by goblins #Gringotts
@duckandcover: I like how Cersei thinks the Iron Bank is like Chase or Visa.
@amarettosaurus: fuck the iron bank of america, serious
@TheFreeHouseElf: Cersei: How much money? Tywin: …Hella.
@dou_dc: Tywin’s, like, “Girl, we broke.” #demthrones
@LyannaTargaryen: Of course Tywin would consider a bank a temple.
@LauraByrneCrist: Cersei needs a Westeros version of a beer helmet that was she can have both her hands free
@AngryGoTFan: I DEMAND TO SEE THE TESTIMONY OF TAENA MERRYWEATHER!!!! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
I still think Ellaria Sand will end up taking Taena’s place.
Sorry, Angry GoT Fan!
So we catch up with Arya and the Hound…
@cam_diesel: Arya Stark the GAWD!!!!!
@princiell: i really do love the hound/arya scenes.
@AngryGoTFan: WHY WOULD THE HOUND BE SLEEPING THAT CLOSE TO A FIRE?!?!?!!? #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@TaraGiancaspro: Arya your Revenge Affirmation is a little loud, girl…
@jax1125: Arya is reading off her murder targets like a grocery list. Atta girl.
@motelsonthemoon: Arya is just listing off all the names of people she is unfriending on Facebook tonight.
@aerynsunx: That list keeps getting longer and longer. At this rate, Arya will never get to sleep.
@EddieSteak: Arya and Sandor have been traveling together for probably months now. he’s never heard her say the names?
@GameOverRos: I would seriously give up my soul to see Arya and Sandor kill the Mountain.
@ScannerDromeMag: Don’t say the Hound!
@LostOnTheFringe: ARYA, NOOOOOOOO. SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
@Bo1911: Arya is BOLD! Chick got balls! #DemThrones
@infiniterain: Maise. Motherfucking. Williams. Bow the fuck down.
@jax1125: 1, 2 Arya’s coming for you. 3,4 better shut the door.
@BlackGirlNerds: LOL. The Hound is like “Huh?” #DemThrones
@motelsonthemoon: “The Hound.” “Did that bitch say my name?!”
@MikkitheGazettE: lol hound
@LaurenDeStefano: Good one, Arya. The Hound is shaking in his boots now.
@EurielPM: Arya must have a death wish thinking she can catch the Hound lacking
The Hound is NEVER caught lacking.
So back to the Eyrie…
@becca_diane11: Is Sansa finally eating lemon cakes?????
@aerynsunx: Looks like Sansa’s appetite is back. #lemoncakes
@TaraGiancaspro: I’m pretty sure Sansa would have at least let Tyrion go to second if he had brought some lemon cakes on their wedding night
@RoseofTarth: Lemon cakes! Where’s Cheeseboy at?
Seriously. We need to start a Bring Cheeseboy Back campaign. Send HBO wheels of cheese until they relent.
@motelsonthemoon: “Marriage changes people. NOW EAT YOUR TREATS SO YOU CAN GET FAT TOO.” Lysa aunt of the year.
@BeautyBrienne: Well, how can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat, Sansa?
Pink Floyd references will always be reblogged.
@iontrone: Aunt Lysa set a perfect lemon cake trap for Alayne! And innocent Alayne fell right into it!
@cam_diesel: Sansa still an idiot, bruh. And Lysa goes HARD for Littlefinger
@TaniaOgg: We’ve all got that one crazy aunt, amirite?
@ConfusedGoTFan: Lysa was always so rational… #asoiaf
@theSamwellTarly: I think Aunt Lysa is more scary than all the White Walkers ever.
@BlackGirlNerds: Lysa you will never be Catelyn. #DemThrones
@JillybeanButtle: Katie Dickie as Lysa …. I have no words. Possibly the most accurate performance to date. Creepy bitch
I agree. I love Katie Dickie.
@Sam_theSlayer: Well Lady Lyra went scary crazy again…poor Sansa
@feellikepdiddy: Can I have two #poorsansa tweets in one night?
@LyannaTargaryen: Oooooh little Hound truth bomb shout out in Sansa’s lie about petyr… #otp
@GillonMarchetti: Can Sansa get a break?
@thegordonj: Could they like cut Sansa some slack. Seriously.
@SeattleSlim: Poor Sansa’s hands
@nicholas_melisi: Aunt Lysa is bonkers.
@nicolenewblack: Marry Robin? Um no thanks psycho auntie
@abe_QueenPerFek: But I knew Sansa’s aunt was crazy, hell she breast feeding a teenager.
@bebefinnell: poor Sansa out the fire and into the pan!
@JoeSoFla: Umm…if Sansa marries Robin…aren’t they…related? Ummm…. #demthrones
Not really all that strange in Westeros, TBH.
@aerynsunx: Oh no! Sansa’s about to be boobified by Crazy Aunt Lysa!
@feellikepdiddy: Run, Sansa, run #LurkyLysa
@infiniterain: Sansa is like …. ‘hoooooold the fuck up!’ xD Sophie’s face >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> all other faces.
@BeautyBrienne: I think Sansa’s about to boot herself out the Moon Door.
@heyjulieann: YOU IN DANGA GIRL
@motelsonthemoon: Sansa “same shit, different castle” Stark
@duckandcover: Sansa: “I’VE MADE A BIG MISTAKE.”
@SoCalFisherJ: Anyone else getting a frying pan, fire vibe in regard to Sansa?
So we catch up with the Podrick Payne / Brienne of Tarth Road Trip…
@AngryGoTFan: OH LOOK ITS BRIENNE AND POD ON THE ONE TREE LINED ROAD THEY FILM EVERYTHING ON #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@j0llyBeee: Podrick Payne, master horse rider since never.
@fatpinkcast: if podrick can’t even ride properly i doubt he knew what the hell he was doing in that brothel #heyyo
@TaraGiancaspro: I think Pod’s massive dong is why he can’t ride that horse.
@deefalc: Is it just me or does Pod look younger every episode?
@ciarajav: Podrick Payne has such a special place in my heart.
@book_faerie: Pod’s killing me.
@Sir_Davidio: If I can’t have Brienne x Jaime, I suppose Brienne x Pod will have to do
@Monoawesome: I think that Pod may be the most adorable character on #GameofThrones.
@Lem889: It annoys me that Pod is charming because I don’t like that dude who plays him
An actual #BlameDanielPortman rather than #BlamePod! That’s rare.
@TaniaOgg: Brienne girl, I understand what it’s like to go for the emotionally unavailable ones, but Pod is one of the good ones.
@mollyharperauth: Podrick is the Samwise Gamgee of the Seven Kingdoms. He will carry Brienne to Castle Black.
@motelsonthemoon: This scene is so metal. I can hear all the clinking.
@TaraGiancaspro: I love Brienne more than half of my entire family.
@mariskreizman: Brienne of Tarth is almost exactly what I’d hoped Macaulay Culkin would grow up to look like.
@inkasrain: Okay, I need to marry Pod.
@MikkitheGazettE: I love him so much he is bae
Bae is like a thing now, huh.
Back over to Arya and the Hound…
@duckandcover: Appreciate the fact that Maisie Williams is right-handed and she learned how to fight left-handed as Arya.
@robertcyoung: Arya dropping that Shaolin technique on Westeros #DemThrones
@Trevorakathe1: If she kills the hound I gotta see how
@hiimjade: Arya this is more like interpretive dance I’m with the hound
I think that’s the first time anyone’s ever referenced “interpretive dance” with Game of Thrones.
@ZedShowgirl: Shout out for #Syrio
@faerie_sarah: Does this mean Syrio is alive? #tinfoil
@mherr1979: Syrio lives!!! :D
@extraORRdINary: Arya Stark the best character on this show!
@motelsonthemoon: Sandor only hates dancing because no one would dance with him at his senior prom.
I think there’s actually a fanfic of that…
@cara__lovely: I bet his hair is greasier than Jeoffreys cunt
@motelsonthemoon: Meryn fucking Trant.
@LyannaTargaryen: Good point Sandor. Syrio could have never been killed by Meryn Trant! #fantheory #wheresjaqen
@cam_diesel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA The Hound is fucking hilarious, bruh
@Sir_Davidio: I think that Hound/Arya scene is my new favorite scene of this entire season, I love Sandor Clegane
@Amma418: Hound is the absolute worst
Or the absolute best.
@BigDamnHerosSir: God in HEAVEN Arya’s got balls. I didn’t figure she’d actually stab him. Balls of bloody steel, that girl
@LadyAntihero: There’s a lesson for that ass, Arya. #DemThrones
@DCPlod: Hound!! You did not just do that.
@Two_Cams25: The b-slap is mightier than the sword.
@cam_diesel: The Hound STAY tryin’ to teach Arya the game. She don’t wanna listen yet, tho. She will, in time.
@DragonflyJonez: Yeah I get the whole sentimental value of Needle but Arya gotta quit bullshitting and get a real sword.
@sonnie_inkstar: Arya and the Hound have the weirdest dopest relationship. They remind me of a father and daughter who aren’t related
All GoT relationships fall under the “It’s Complicated” category.
So Cersei visits Prince Oberyn of Dorne…
@lalalaloman: It’s about time Oberyn joined the party!
@LauraByrneCrist: So did Oberon only bring two outfits? Not complaining just wondering
@GrimRipa: Does Oberyn Martell only have that hello robe?
I imagine a “Hello!” robe would open easily. And quickly.
The Red Viper has garnered a number of fans already:
@xgreendaygal: Goddammit you are so hot
@WalkingDixonFan: Prince Oberyn is a sexy beast. It is known
@BlackGirlNerds: Red Viper can get it. #DemThrones
@infiniterain: OBERYYYNNNNNNNNNN. HE’S LITERALLY JUST SITTING THERE AND I’M LIKE, OMFG DO ME. DO ME RIGHT NOW.
@TaraGiancaspro: I can’t focus on this Cersei and Oberyn scene because I know the actors are having hot hot trailer sex.
@MrNoeReyes: Did Cersei just leave half a glass of wine behind? What the Seven Hells?
@ErinMorelli: I think I can count on one hand the number of scenes in this entire series where Cersei is without a beverage in her hand
@ConfusedGoTFan: OH GOOD THE CERSEI POV WHERE SHE HARASSES OBERYN MARTELL. I REMEMBER THIS ONE WELL #ASOIAF
@SisterSarcasm: Cersei you know nothing just like Jon Snow lol
@OshaTheWildling: Roses are red, violets are blue. You killed my sister, now I kill you.
Oberyn briefly mentions his eight daughters…
@Rahson1919: The Sand Snakes!!
@AuthorNinaPerez: Sand Snakes! #PFGoT #DemThrones
He never actually called them “Sand Snakes,” however.
@mherr1979: I need to see the Sand Snakes. Please and thank you.
@BeautyBrienne: I’m rusty on my Martells but did they just sublty renamed Arianne as Elia?
No, there is an Elia Sand. A Wiki of Ice and Fire names her as Oberyn’s eldest daughter with Ellaria Sand (though obviously not the eldest overall, since she is only fourteen).
@AngryGoTFan: ELIA ISNT THE TROUBLESOME SAND SNAKE! SHE IS FOND OF HORSES!!! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@duckandcover: ELIA SAND MENTION. SHOW ME THE SAND SNAKES. DO IT.
@GameOverRos: Myrcella mention! Sand Snakes mention! Bad Ass Female Episode!
@motelsonthemoon: Myrcella seems to be a having a gay old time in Dorne.
@amarettosaurus: Oberyn can bring me a gift if you know what I’m saying
@NiceQueenCersei: Obersei is a good ship.
@TaraGiancaspro: Okay they did some straight blackface on Pedro Pascal this week what is this
Sandface at best.
But damn, Lena too. They went a little nutty with the “let’s tan them” makeup.
That or the Adriatic sun is bonkers.
@ToddCMatthy: Oberyn is Indego Montoya
@bdonmoyer: “Hello. My name is Prince Oberyn. You killed my sister. Prepare to die…”
@selenya: I am loving this conversation. More Oberyn, forever.
@AlehAutumn: “We don’t hurt little girls in Dorne.” DRAG THEM.
@MTFIII: “Everywhere in the world they hurt little girls.” That’s real talk. #DemThrones
That HAS to be the own of the night. Right?
@feellikepdiddy: Lena Heady is killing it in this episode #Cersei
@heyjulieann: ugh i hate that sometimes cersei has emotions and, like. feelings.
@heyjulieann: it’s easier to hate you when you aren’t moping about your kids, can’t you go back to being a twat?
@BreakingBraavos: Everywhere in the world they hurt little girls, what a feministic point Cersi.. I mean Dave and Dan
…Not sure if that’s a snark or a compliment!
So back to Brienne and Pod…
@RoseofTarth: TWO BRIENNE AND POD SCENES! Is it Christmas?
@TheHallWay1: THIS HARE IS ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE
@Sam_theSlayer: Podrick is a lover not a cook. XD
@fmorizio: Podrick is us all
@Sir_Davidio: omg Pod I am absolutely dying right now
@AkelaCooper: Podrick, giving it that unique “boot flavor”.
@cam_diesel: Podrick can’t cook like Hot Pie, tho
No he cannot.
@MishaRN: Poor Podrick
@LyannaTargaryen: Thank the Gods that Pod isn’t squiring for Sandor. Thou shalt not waste The Hound’s rabbit/chicken
@TaraGiancaspro: Pod and this fire is absolutely a metaphor for the American intern system.
@vivaciousvirgo: Podrick is the worst squire ever.
@TeamTSD: Podrick was obviously not a Boy Scout.
@motelsonthemoon: This episode of Pod & Brienne’s Excellent Adventure: Pod Burns down the forest cooking rabbit and Brienne talks about Jaime.
@Char_IsTheFury: LOL Podrick, this is why we can’t have nice things bwahahaha
@yessiethespic: Pod is so awesome :)
@nkann01: Brienne ad Podrick are awesome together.
@cam_diesel: Podrick tryna do things he’s not qualified for. He needs to just offer the magic stick and be done with it
@BlackGirlNerds: Podrick can’t cook…but he does have “other” talents.
@DPzzle: SEXIST!! Objectification!!
@TheonsToyGOT: “Come ere and let me remove your armor.” #70sPornMusic
We need to find more ways to use the #70sPornMusic hashtag.
@bastylefilegirl: Poddrick has the brothel slayer penis Brienne watch out lol
@LongLastDion: Pod and Brienne are so awkward it’s adorable
@rony__uk: Brienne me mata HAHAHAAHAH
@SayWhatSugar: The bulk of this episode so far has been some road trip comedy shit.
@Sir_Davidio: To be fair, Brienne, most of the Kingsguard are pretty fucking terrible
@Bigswivel34: I feel like they are trying to make bripod funny like a balance to the hound and aria
You had me at “Bripod.”
Comedy pretty much ends once we head north of the Wall…
@YgrittetheWild: And in the north, where there is more joy and lollipops…
@GameOverRos: Now for Misery Mansion.
@SnarkKnight1: Back to the continuing story of Craster’s Keep of Suddenly Conventionally Attractive Daughters. #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@brycecr: I’m getting really sick of these scenes at casters. It’s gratuitous and unnecessary… And endless.
@risa_np: I was hoping they’d skip Craster’s Keep, but looks like they’re still raping and pillaging from last week
@CoolCaelLee: How long have they been raping these girls? Months?
@BigDamnHerosSir: #GameOfThrones Season 4: Would you like a side of rape with that rape?
@OrlDivaRealtor: Looks like it’s Rape o clock on #GameOfThrones
@LyannaTargaryen: Are we going for rape bingo? 3 weeks in a row??
I take it that’s not a part of the drinking game?
@infiniterain: Bran’s hair is getting ridiculously long. Another couple of weeks and he’ll start a death metal band.
@thomas_ikehara: Meera Reed bae
@caprisunshine97: Even when he looks close to death jojen looks hot
@keishi59: They better not kill Jojen up in here.
@TaraGiancaspro: Jojen needs to eat – he’s looking a little….pasty. #WhatsUpBookReaders
I see what you did there.
@Lem889: Listen I don’t know where their storyline is going right now but if Bran or the Reeds get hurt I will BURN THIS HOUSE DOWN
@kerrold: Is it bad that I can barely tell Bran and Meera apart?
@feellikepdiddy: WHY IS JOJEN ON FIRE?! #JojenFlame ?
@Tiggy4Real: DID NO ONE ELSE SEE HIS HAND LIGHT ON FIRE?
@BeautyBrienne: Mmmmmmhm. Jojen’s trippin’ balls.
@Bigswivel34: Finally a green dream!!!! Yay jojen
@fatpinkcast: jojen should not have smoked that pipe
@LauraByrneCrist: OMG! He predicts their death by FIRE?????? If they kill Jojen and Meera prematurely aghhhhhh!
Luckily, Jon Snow the Night’s Watch are coming!
@Bigswivel34: The night search is there to whoopass and chew bubble gum and they are fresh out of bubble gum.
@kaefurious: FINALLY seeing Jon Snow’s perfect face.
@BlackGirlNerds: Sssshhh bae is on screen. #DemThrones
@cicely81: Jon Snow is every damn thing #demthrones #bae
@DetroitDelta15: Jon Snow… That is all. #demthrones
Jon Snow is a popular dude on the #DemThrones tag.
@PaullyOo: I want a threesome scene with Prince Oberyn, the Hound and Jon Snow(or Tyrion) where they discuss very important plot twists
@heyjulieann: HI GRENN HIIIIII
@DietTwinkie: No! Jon Snow don’t believe him! Bran is in that hut!
@DCPlod: Locke: “Have you seen what I can do with a knife?” Chopping off hands but not much else…
@ConfusedGoTFan: I SAW WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH AN AXE YOU LISPING WEIRDO! #ASOIAF
@nuveeena: Buttkickin’ Tyme at Crasters!
Not QUITE yet…
Karl wants to get his rocks off!
@bexysteel: I was a fucking legend! #bestline
We will get to see how much of a legend very soon…
So Karl enters the love shack…
@heyjulieann: oh no please don’t let meera be raped
@cam_diesel: Meera bout to get……nah, man. Not 3 weeks in a row. These writers trippin’
@AltiusTendo: More rape/ threats of rape show? I’m about sick of this shit.
@WereGeek: Can there REALLY not be one female character to remain unassaulted, eh
@willevanswrites: Yo, seriously, we get it, we’re not gonna do ANOTHER rape scene are we? #DemThrones
@BeautyBrienne: You guys know they make all the episodes at once, right? So if you bitch about a rape scene, they can’t go and fix the next episode.
I guess there’s always next year.
@mollyharperauth: Please kill that guy already.
@thomas_ikehara: Dammit leave Meera alone
@LauraByrneCrist: Someone needs to impale Owen Harper with her frog spear! #GameOfThrones meets Torchwood
@Sir_Davidio: KICK HIM IN THE BALLS MEERA
@mherr1979: OH HELL NO. THIS IS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.
@heyjulieann: SAVE MEERA REED
@fatpinkcast: are they seriously writing another rape scene? is this why they aged up meera? for this?
Also, they pretty much aged everyone up.
@BfloDude: Burn fucking Gorman ladies and gentlemen.
@OctopusInSpace: Someone kill Burn Gorman!!!!
@jax1125: “I saw your body burn.” let’s go!
@heyjulieann: jojen is playing this game hard i am into it
@taykell01: I’m having heart palpitations y’all!
@_whoireallyam: Fuck. Fuck.
@CadenLaplante: OH SHIT!!!!
@mherr1979: Anytime, Jon. Like seriously.
@heyjulieann: oh god oh god someone save meera
The Night’s Watch attacks!
@KevinFalk7: ooh shits going down
@Nano20XXad: A fight broke out at the right time
@Bigswivel34: Joh snow for leader of seal team six!!!
@Sir_Davidio: Goddamn it Jon Snow why would you scream at the top of your lungs while you sneak up on people, you know nothing
@AngryGoTFan: OH I SEE JON SNOWS PLAN CONSISTED OF RUNNING AT THEM BEFORE THEY WENT TO SLEEP AND YELLING GYAHHHHHHH #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@LaurenEnglish94: GO JON GO!
@jamiesugah: FIND GHOST, JON. FIND GHOST.
So Locke headed straight for Bran and co…
@CadenLaplante: OH NO!!!!!
@heyjulieann: NO DON’T HURT HODOR WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO HURT HODOR
@LongLastDion: NOOOO WHAT THE FUCK
@TaraGiancaspro: Does anyone else feel like they would murder for Hodor? I am so emotionally invested in this character.
@Sir_Davidio: YOU DONE GOOFED, LOCKE, HODOR DON’T FUCK AROUND
@Summer_Dawn: HOLY SHIT, this is getting so fucked up and dark. HODOR DO SOMETHING!
@Kellykinz18: Hodor Hodor HODOR. -Hodor
Bran gets grabbed… and Twitter freaked out, because Sullied and Unsullied alike had NO idea how this whole thing would play out.
I loved that.
And so we got this:
@jiodeleon: WARG POWERS ACTIVATE.
@7373tinkerbell: Warg into Hodor yes!
@ReimHelix: Warg in action.
@TeddyChanTastic: Bout damn time Bran!!!
@E_Teezey: Brandon Stark… The original Body Snatcher.
@nastassiachanel: BRAN IS GOING PROFESSOR X ON EVERYONE
@ThematicLush: Hodor Unchained
@Marcohtx: HODOR SMASH!!!!!!!
@BeckysBytes: Hodor went Hulk on us!
@dgreichert: Hodor. SMASH!
@Harold_Stu: Hodor mad. Hodor smash
@duckandcover: Locke: “I’VE MADE A BIG MITHTAKE.”
@evilapprentice: Stop! HODOR TIME!
@SerFjord: I guess it makes sense that Hodor has Sub-Zero’s fatality.
@caitlincrowley4: YAS HODOR U LITTLE AMAZING BOY AYYYYHHH
@WiCThoros: HOLY HODOR…..
@BlackGirlNerds: Hodor is like WTF? #DemThrones
@cam_diesel: OOOOOOHHHH SSSSHHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
@theSamwellTarly: Holy shit HODOR.
@CaliDreamin0705: Hodor!!!!! #Hodor #YES
@delphrano: fuck yeah!!!! HODOR!!!! #DemThrones
@duckandcover: WELL THERE GOES MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW SINCE NED STARK #RIPLocke
@heyjulieann: good times. bye locke.
@infiniterain: OMFG. DID NOT SEE THAT DEATH COMING.
@jax1125: Snapped that neck in two!
@HallEsq: “Jamie’s right hand send its regards.” -Hodor
@ConfusedGoTFan: VARGO HOAT DIDN’T DIE FROM HODOR! HODOR DIDNT HODOR VARGO HODOR! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS #ASOIAF
@Trinifood: Hodor is the hero of tonight!!
Thrilling for us. Not so thrilling for Hodor.
@ErinMorelli: Awwww poor Hodor, he’s so confused :(
@motelsonthemoon: Hodor doesn’t like blood.
@xgreendaygal: If you don’t love Hodor I’m judging you
@LyannaTargaryen: Bran gets his first kill! Let’s get him a bell for his hair. #DothrakiStyle
@asjdjsdkad: Bran is awesome. All Bran
@Lem889: I know a lot of people think Bran is boring but he’s my favorite character so bye
Bran is fantastic.
Jon still had work to do…
@jax1125: Jon Snow lookin kinda good swinging that sword.
@elledub_1920: He could swing his [redacted] on over here.
@Hurtville: I’m screaming so hard for Jon and Bran to reunite omg.
@feellikepdiddy: Jon and Bran are so close. I can’t handle this
@GameOverRos: Come on, little warg. Get to Jon. Get to him.
@TaraGiancaspro: Jon is RIGHT THERE DON’T DO THIS TO ME SHOW
@CBGisme: Bran! It’s your brother! Go over there!
@cam_diesel: These Stark family reunions that almost happen but never do are hurting my soul, bruh. Every fucking time, man. Shit.
@iontrone: why is Bran trying to distract Jon while he is in the middle of a fight to the death?
@TaraGiancaspro: Jon is RIGHT THERE DON’T DO THIS TO ME SHOW
@DCPlod: No. You’re not going to make me cry over another Stark non-reunion. No.
@Terri_Schwartz: OK this is actually making @RogueCheddar and I cry.
@duckandcover: Do you want to find a mythical bird or be reunited with your family?
@r0cketscience: Still find this second Jon-Bran near miss to be redundant.
I actually like that it was Bran’s choice. Still don’t know why they felt they needed Jon to know he was north of the Wall, but… I figure that has to lead to something else.
So we got to the Jon Snow vs. Karl Tanner showdown…
@SeattleSlim: It’s your ass, Burn.
@Mimomonokushi: SNOW!! TAKE THIS BASTARD DOWN! I HATE HIM!!!!
@MrShift4: This. All of this.
@_kamaug: Jon the warrior
@ErinMorelli: Kit Harington getting to use some of those sword skills he learned in Pompeii
@feellikepdiddy: Kit showing off those Pompeii skills. Can we see the Pompeii abs??
@WeGeekGirls: Kill him Jon.
@dou_dc: KILL HIM, BAE! KILL HIM! #demthrones
@JonSnowBastrd: Time to see how much of a fucking legend you are, Karl.
@jax1125: You took three arrows to the back, you can do it Jon!
@cam_diesel: Jon Snow brought a sword to a knife fight.
He didn’t have Oberyn there to school him on swords and close-quarter fighting.
But that’s fine. He had help of a different sort!
@heyjulieann: HELLA, CRASTER’S WIFE
@GameOverRos: You just got shanked in the back by one of the women you raped. That is justice.
@Sir_Davidio: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT
@pigeonspotting: OH MY GOD THE GASP I JUST MADE
@YgrittetheWild: And @burngorman is given a piercing headache…
@SamDianeK: HOLY SHIT JON SNOW I’VE BEEN WAITING OVER 3 YEARS FOR THAT LEVEL OF BADASSDOM
@TaraGiancaspro: THAT WAS GRAPHIC EVEN FOR THIS SHOW DAMNIT
@Chaos_atitsbest: John snow #mce
@SCAR_179NY: YOOOOO!!! Thats a fucked up way to die
@cam_diesel: WOOO SHIT!!!! That’s a battle scene for that ass!!!!
@E_Teezey: Wow. That was pretty gross.
@douchebaggette: Sword got his tongue.
@D_Gann_PDT: John snow with the KO
@BlackGirlNerds: That was an awesome finishing move. FATALITY. #DemThrones
@skywalkthekid: Holy shit!!!!!
@cavehm: Jooooohnnn Snooooooowwww!!!!! Greatest. Sword. Death. Ever.
@Only1EMARSH: Now. That was DEEP THROAT.
@feellikepdiddy: New meaning to “sword swallower”
@nicolemchadwick: Our entire apartment just screamed. #INDAFACEEEE
@ShinyLucari0: Jesus Christ Jon Snow may know nothing, but he sure showed that dude from torchwood a nasty way to die.
@Tom_Campbell_: Jon Snow Wins Flawless Victory
@CAbornPArazed: O.M.G that was dope
@AVAETC: Join me in a slow cap for Jon Snow on that kill. Damn. #DemThrones
@LyannaTargaryen: OMG! OMG! I expect that shit from #TheWalkingDead but Jesus Christ! Turn-Crows going out like the governors daughter.
@TheCynic81: Jon Snow, A+ on the killing
@SeattleSlim: Bruh, now you know Jon Snow is sick with his sword game. #demthrones
@MRDRmouth: I saw snow fall and bury your bones.
@YourJRose: I’m slowly becoming a Jon Snow fan. I fought it for a long time, but… c’mon.
Kit’s having a HUGE season. He’s been great.
@EABailes: In her defense, if Jon Snow spoke to me I would not be capable of words either. #truth
@aaronjperez: I’ll go with you Jon Snow! *tosses hair*
Time for that “I volunteer!” gif again.
So Grenn finishes off the last of ’em. Well, not quite the last…
@motelsonthemoon: Rast. The only smart man at Craster’s Keep.
@theSamwellTarly: Run, Rast, run.
@NiceQueenCersei: Rast can run fast. Ooh that rhymed.
Not fast enough.
@heyjulieann: that’s okay rast is gonna get et’
@WhiskeyWin: Rast is due for a swift killing.
@WiCThoros: Rast the Coward….I hope ghost eats him….
Your wish is Ghost’s command.
@JillybeanButtle: Ghost – Rast. Rast – meet Ghost
@becca_diane11: Yes! Karma did come back to bite Rast in the ass #Ghost
@feellikepdiddy: GHOOOOOOST!! #AdiosRast
@BeautyBrienne: And here I was hoping Rast would get cradled by a White Walker and get changed.
@BigDamnHerosSir: I was torn between wanting the Others or Ghost to get Rast.
@GhostTheWolf: That’s what happens when you spill my gin. Fuck you Rast.
@Project8point: Ghost is back!!
@SayWhatSugar: GHOST! My literal dawg!
@GhostSnow1: That’s me how cute and awesome am I
@iamhalfblood: SNOW & GHOST
@KTphilbee: Jon & Ghost together again!!!
@YgrittetheWild: Ghost has Rast breath. Eugh…
@BlackGirlNerds: Reunited and it feels so good. #JonandGhost
@oldapartment: can we have 20 extra minutes of the episode while jon just rolls around in the snow with ghost? y/n?
@meganpuzey: Ghost is my favorite character.
@duckandcover: Grenn and Dolorous Edd survived. They can mess up the show however they like as long as they survive.
@KTtheDon: Jon Snow’s curls are poppington
@jax1125: I would gladly deep condition and scalp massage that.
@ReaganGomez: Nowhere is safe for those women. They aren’t trying to be around anymore men.
@GameOverRos: Craster’s Wife. Taking her fate into her own hands. I have chills.
@dawn9476: Yes. They are burning that house of horrors.
@motelsonthemoon: Secretly burning this house for R’hllor.
@iontrone: is it wise to light a giant bonfire (Craster’s Keep) when Mance & Wildlings are all over the place?
Hopefully Tormund “Gingerbeard” Giantsbane thinks it’s the biggest fire the North has ever seen and attacks Castle Black prematurely?
@Bigswivel34: Cue talking heads “burning down the house”
@MotherofSnow: Burn it down
@motelsonthemoon: And that is how Jon Snow burned down the Haunted Forest.
@YgrittetheWild: Meanwhile, in Whitewalkerville: “Did you hear? Someone set the Babies R’ Us on fire?! Can’t believe humans.”
And just like that, it was suddenly over.
@scott4567: I know someone says it every week. But damnit, these episodes are over too quickly! #2hrfinale
@MRharoonahmed: This episode was too short
@LadyMandyisms: Whyyyyyy does this hour fly by so fast???
@LilMaur19: Favorite episode this season
@Armani__Jones: Meh….a pretty boring episode if you ask me
@ThronesQuotes: I dunno, I thought that was bloody excellent
@gastarbooks: #GameOfThrones Great Ep!
@GameOverRos: That, my loves, is why I enjoy Game of Thrones. We have the most diverse cast of women on TV. All of them kick ass.
@GameOverRos: Even Sansa. Sansa just wears different armour. She’s armoured in courtesy. And I adore her.
@motelsonthemoon: ASHA OMG ASHA
@becca_diane11: Ooh I see we will be getting a shirtless Ramsey next week #sexay
@feellikepdiddy: I’m so conflicted about Ramsay being so hot #ScaryButSexy
@motelsonthemoon: Asha is coming in your windows, snatching your Reeks up
@Harold_Stu: Mark Gatiss next week, can’t way for the Iron Bank #TychoIsComing
@motelsonthemoon: Stannis and Asha. It’s like #GameOfThrones is apologizing to me
@ErinMorelli: WHERE THE HELL IS THE KINGMOOT?? #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
@JonSnowBastrd: Only 5 more episodes to go. It’s not enough.
Yep. We’re halfway home.
Actually, technically… we’ve precisely halfway done with the series as a whole if they go the seven seasons route.
So… lasting impressions?
@GusAndLeo: Game of Thrones feels. 1. Poor Hodor! 2. Don’t fuck with BranDor. 3. Torchwood Owen feels and Raper Karl discord. 4. Rast is so fucked.
@SamTarly_: Episode guide for season 4: 1) Fuck the king. 2) The king is fucked. 3) Fuck besides the king. 4) Fucking ice king. 5) New fucking king.
Sounds about right.
@AngryGoTFan: OK BACK TO SCREAMING ABOUT WHY IS THERE NO COLDHANDS?!?!?!!?!? #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS
His ravens tho
@ShadowTodd: I imagine Littlefinger scrubbing himself clean after his wedding night like Sideshow Bob did after marrying Aunt Selma.
@briandpettit: I loved the show so much that I read the books then I loved the books so much that I hate the show.
@NiceQueenCersei: Myrcella got mentioned. Again. And she’s getting a ship of her own. See you in the next season my love.
@inkasrain: I have a feeling that Cersei said about three honest words in this episode.
“Everywhere in the world, they hurt little girls” is eight words!
@Terri_Schwartz: The words for House Stark really should be “Can’t Catch A Break.”
@amcynic: “I saw you die tonight.” Most epic part of tonight’s episode.
@misspamplona: HODOR, MOTHERFUCKERS! HODOR!!!
@redkeefe: Spoiler: don’t f with remote controlled Hodor. #GameOfThrones #hodor
@Sir_Davidio: I think I’m okay with the changes to the Jon Snow/Bran storyline. They were intense and exciting to watch
@Sincerely_Sy89: These almost Stark reunions are killing me!!! Ugh this close!!!
@Anal_Blisters: Bran and Jon. Possibly the only time they will see each other. :'((( #GameOfThrones you made me saad!
@pascalblopez: Though I so wanted Jon and Bran to get together !!!
@BreakingBraavos: jojen managed to be cooler and creepier than the knife guy, but the knife guy was cool too!
@motelsonthemoon: So I didn’t actually don’t mind the added changes to Jon and Bran’s storyline now that I’ve seen it played it. It worked.
@tmibugbee: Ranking the misery of #GameOfThrones characters this episode: 3.) Meera 2.) Hodor 1.) Sansa. Always Sansa.
@BreakingBraavos: the extra bran sequence was so worth it. more fun than a lot of the book material
@Sir_Davidio: ok so uh can we talk about the implications of that Jojen vision cause I think it kind of disproves Jojen Paste theory
Right?? Unless he was prematurely seeing Karl’s body burning.
I can’t decide.
And finally… Burn Gorman himself actually weighed in:
@burngorman: Spose you could say the Kit got my tongue tonight
… That may actually have been the best tweet of the night. O.o
See you next week, tweeps!