Well now we truly know, and I can let my disappointment take wing and fly.

Some people think my nerd rage stems from the fact that Irri lived (still lives, in fact) a full and functional life in the books, and that assumption would be wrong. Many of you know I am probably the furthest thing from a book purist. My request has been a simple one thus far:

“Just make the best television series ever.” Easy, right?

Of course they had a great head start going for them. George R.R. Martin’s source material is gold. And I have to say—the show has been fantastic. Brilliant at times… and, quite often, better than the source material. That’s not easy to do. For every misstep there have been a hundred pieces of awesome.

So I’m not saying Irri should not have died. I’m going to assume it serves a purpose, some purpose, to have the last reliable vestige of Dothraki culture taken from Daenerys. That’s not my bitch. What I don’t like was how it was done; seen through Dany’s frantic eyes, stuffed into the tail end of an episode, carelessly killed and decorating Dany’s chamber like an Irri rug.

Irri was a character we cared about. She had her own story, as much as any character on the show. Doreah was supposed to be the pretty one, but many eyes were drawn to her. One tiny little glance, given to Rakharo, launched a thousand ‘ships.

Maybe the writers didn’t expect Amrita to inspire so many people with so minor a character. Perhaps they just didn’t know what a good thing they had. Perhaps it would have behooved them to have cast a lesser actress in the role. They should understand, now, that even the smallest thing will be judged by the fandom. When they get it right, we celebrate it, loudly (and usually on Tumblr). If something is found lacking, well, we let them know that too.

Honestly, I don’t think they expect anything less of us. David Benioff and Dan Weiss do not make a habit of talking down to the fans.

If they thought Irri was a small, inconsequential thing, they were wrong. Amrita embodied her heart and soul, making us care for Irri far, far more than we ever cared for her in the books. Irri was already steadfast, but Amrita made her stubborn, reactive, three-dimensional. She was strong yet sensitive, knowing yet innocent. Amrita played these balances with intuitive grace. She became Irri and made her real. That’s why we freaking care. It feels like so much of her was left on the cutting room floor.

I haven’t completely given up hope, even though Game of Thrones has thus far carved a reputation that eschews flashbacks. I’m still hopeful we will see how Irri met her end. We know they filmed the scene; Amrita said she had bruises around her neck days after filming it.

And all sorts of things can happen in the House of the Undying.

So I hold out hope we’ll still get to see her death scene, somehow, some way. That’s all most of us need: closure.

Some of you said your thank-yous and your good-byes last week in my interview with Amrita, but here is the official one. Amrita was nice enough to not only give us a one-on-one interview, but to come out and meet some of the fans during her recent trip to L.A. I have no idea how she kept her character’s death a secret from us during all that. Perhaps the secret amused her; she smiled patiently at me as I nattered on about all the cool things Irri was going to see.

Clearly, HBO has been airtight with spoilers. You can’t say she didn’t do her job as an actress. She always did, and did it with emotive yet controlled power.

Fire And Blood: It’s been said before, and I’ll say it again: Thanks, Ami! You’ve only begun this crazy trip, and I have a feeling the long road ahead is gonna be really cool. Keep on keepin’ on, come back L.A., and keep making magic. We will line up to see it.

Oh, and may Irri’s journey into the Night Lands be on one helluva bitchin’ ride.

We’ve had leaked audition tapes in the past (including from someone who actually went on to become cast in the show), but this one is noteworthy because it confirms the existence of a character that has heretofore gone unmentioned on the show. Edmure, the brother of Catelyn Stark, appears way back in the first book, but he was cut from both seasons one and two, leaving some fans fearing we would never see him. Well, fear no more!

Winter Is Coming: After years of waiting, you House Tully fans finally have a reason to celebrate! We will definitely get an Edmure and probably get to see Riverrun. I suspect we may get a Hoster Tully too. Still, one question remains, what about the Blackfish?

I normally give you my “blah blah blah” about how the tweets were compiled (@Axechucker, @The_Rabbit01), but I’m not even going to do that right now. Instead I’d like to take the time to say holy BLEEPING HELL PEOPLE SURE DO CURSE A LOT ON TWITTER.

It feels like it’s progressively getting worse.

Or maybe I’m getting old.

Either way, I would like to also take the time and space provided to me to say this post is not intended for children. Not that I think a lot of children read it. Some might. But just in case. You were &$@#ing warned. This Twitter post for the Game of Thrones episode “A Man Without Honor” is rated R. There’s violence, cussing—and a mention of arses!

It was Mother’s Day, so of course we got an appropriate number of holiday-themed comments:

@mwdiddy: Feel bad for Jon Snow on Mother’s Day

@pourmecoffee: I hope the dragons got Daenerys something nice for Mother’s Day.

@FYWinterfell: Catelyn Stark is probably gonna have a less than special Mother’s Day…

@JohnnyCables: Cersei is definitely not getting a Happy Mother’s day card from Joffrey. #incesttweet

The Cogmeister Meistercogger let us know how special this episode would be:

@bryancogman: Tonight on @HBO: a very special Mother’s Day episode of #GameofThrones

And in some non-NFL related news:

@richeisen: You know your wife is watching too much Game of Thrones when she wants a direwolf for Mother’s Day.

It’s good to be Rich. Speaking of rich:

@AlyssCampanella: #AManWithoutHonor. 9 pm. Let’s do this.

She is the smartest Miss USA winner ever!

@JimmyBass2: @AlyssCampanella Just Glad someone besides me enjoys @GameofThrones

It’s just you and Alyssa, dude.

Some people do odd things to prepare for the show:

@heyjulieann: Pre-#gameofthrones constitutional.

@MercifulMalaca: I’m gona watch #gameofthrones drunk and naked i hope no one minds

@_Coolest_Nerd: Who just got Retweeted by #GameofThrones? #ThisNerd!

Us too! What’s cooler?

And what was Talisa doing?

@OonaCC: While you guys are watching #GameOfThrones tonight in the US of A, I will be eating Kit.

… Alrighty!

(I’m not sure if Sarah had a happy birthday, but Oona sure did.)

(… And Kit probably did too!)

@Ambassador_Curt: If only #OnceUponATime would go off, so we can get back to #GameOfThrones. This show is soooooooo lame.

Have to agree. I can’t stand that show. If it comes on I flee the room. What a colossal waste of Robert Carlyle.

Also, Jared Gilmore makes Hugo Culverhouse look like Lawrence freaking Olivier.

@seth410: 12 people here for my ‘watchin party, but just one bathroom. Talk about a #GameofThrones…

@YgrittetheWild: Taking bets on how many teats we’ll see this week!

@stevelang77: The question on everyones mind 4 minutes before #gameofthrones starts is…will Dinklage hang dong tonight?

Bro, it said partial nudity. You couldn’t have been expecting to see Tyrion’s hodor.

@AzuliaZebleaux: Can we see ANYONE ELSE SHIRTLESS ON THIS FUCKING SHOW?

‘Course. Just look closely whenever a street-level scene of King’s Landing pops up. There are usually like… five or six shirtless dudes.

Oh, what, that doesn’t count?

Screw all of you. Sexist hypocrites.

@MC_NotHammer: #GameOfThrones is on. Thought I’d let you know just in case you are interested in medieval bush.

I’m totally interested in that. Though really, as far as horticulture goes, I’m not sure bushes have changed too much over the years.

So we open at Winterfell—taken by the Ironborn—and we find Theon being Theon.

@TheFlyShyGirl: Idiot Theon time!

@lafemmeluna: Why is Theon still alive?

@Southern_Locs: Theoan starting to be a g

Theoan? That should be Thepwn. Because he’s owning u foolz

@ItsMarypace: JE.LE.DETESTE… Theon Greyjoy, I’ll kill you if I could.

@vivaciousvirgo: Theon just joined Joffrey on my “He gotta die” list.

Just now?

If he’s pissing you off now, just wait ’til the end of the episode.

@Astrid940: Theon Greyjoy makes king Joffrey look so good.

@IanH987: Greyjoys look like they stink!

@deinemuse: Theon – I won’t hurt them… no I mean I wont kill them… no I meant I wont talk mean to them. I dunno.

@nuclear_pavlova: Theon Greyjoy is just another good reason to dislike Lily Allen.

Snap.

Fleeing Winterfell, we join Bran, Rickon, Osha, and Hodor!

“Rickon’s nuts” may have been trending, and for two completely different reasons!

@Noozy642: that little bastard loves walnuts more than i’ve ever loved anything

@LyaStark: RICKON HAS LINES! Can’t believe it!

@AKA_Qthulhu: Rickon demands food!

@JennRoseFX: Behold the tv premier of Hodor’s nuts!! @KristianNairn #Hodor

Yes, Hodor got love too.

(He gets a lot of love for a dude with only one line. It’s the delivery!)

@NorisaurusRex: Hodor.

Hodor.

@bushwickbelle: gotta love the gentle giant #hodor

@acaitycat: HODOR, SWEET GIANT HODOR

@ghostwriterxx: I need a boyfriend like Hodor…can carry me around and doesn’t say much

@alwinex22: “Hodor *chuckles* Hodor” best line so far.

It’s early.

@TitanConBelfast: @KristianNairn @ArtRickonrockon @IsaacBranFlakes Natalie Tena – that scene rocked. Great Hodoring Hodor!

TITANCON has a lot of love to give. Love them. (Get’cher tickets now!)

Beyond the Wall, we catch up with Jon Snow and his new bestie Ygritte…

@HotMessMandy: Ygritte likes to talk about Jon’s penis. Ok I might like her.

@GeekGirlATX: I’d like Jon Snow to pull a knife on me in the middle of the night.

@samuraisupremo: They should add Jon Snow’s Pants as a location in thecredits, because what’shappening in there is very important lately.

@Jasmino924: Is “bone and stones” the new meat and potatoes?

That’s exactly what they are.

@YaraGreyjoy: It’s important to walk your wildling at least twice a day.

@reecyKup: Ha! Jon Snow needs to just hit that… It’s time.

@SueThePirate: “As if I’d feel sorry for them.” Ha. Suck it, horny bastards.

I felt like Ygritte sort of added that last part to be like, “…Just so you know I’m not a total skank.”

@CeleenPalm: Girl you’re seriously talking about blue balls? I knew you lacked class

@LL_Sequeira: Aw I really want Jon Snow to get laid now. He needs it.

@YaraGreyjoy: Stannis would be proud of Jon’s pedantry.

Stannis would also be proud of your vocabulary, Yara.

Balon? Not so much. Suck it, Ironborn!

@AKA_Qthulhu: Take us to Mordor, Ygritte!

I laughed the most at that one. I don’t know why!

Meanwhile, over at the Garden of Eden…

@HEELSherrod: Things are bright and cheery at Harranhal as usual..

@puppycatromp: Tywin is so sour partly ‘cuz of the fugly icky place he lives. Sweep up! Stop torturing people! Put up some cheery curtains!

@SueThePirate: My god, Gregor Clegane speaks! he can talk!

@lifesamixtape: Holy crap, The Mountain is enormous. #honestnickname

I’m still not bloody impressed. He feels stiff. I don’t see any inner rage. Stevens had rage. (Partly because he was a testosterone-fueled Aussie coont.)

To me, it feels like any quality Dornishman would destroy this new Mountain. And don’t even think to bring You-Know-Who into the conversation. Three-second fight.

@Frah84: The Brotherhood Without Banners!! Beric Dondarrion in da house!! YES YES YESSS

@heyjulieann: I know that feel Arya. I eat and don’t grow either, except for outward.

That gets worse with age, too.

@jaspercoolidge: Lord Tywon & Arya are conjuring memories of Mr. Drummond & Arnold I smell a spinoff

@amarettosaurus: Did Twyin just reference Jonquil? Oh my fangasm.

@DarthCK: “Most girls are idiots” -Arya Stark

@DanielKonikoff: I love you, Arya Stark

@LuvMe247: I think Arya Stark is gonna be a HUGE factor in how all this goes down this season

@NiceQueenCersei: ‘You remind me of my daughter?’ Daddy just insulted us both.

We value your opinion, Nice Queen Cersei.

@edknock: Charles Dance and Maisie Williams killing it in these Tywin/Arya scenes.

@acaitycat: I really do love Tywin, honestly. It’s scary.

@dieslaughing: Harrenhal History Boner.

This was not a sexposition!

@YaraGreyjoy: Tywin just stole Roose Bolton’s “m’lord” line.

Good thing, since Bolton is not at Harrenhal.

At King’s Landing, Sansa encountered the Hound in the halls and—

@HBObiter: Oh Sansa. Shut the fuck up.

What? Speak up! I can’t hear you through all the San/San shippers squealing across the length and breadth of the worldwide web.

Or screaming. Or bleating. Or… something.

@vcav: Sandor and Sansa YES! sansan shippers everywhere are peeing.

Or peeing.

@nucleus22: Sansa and the Hound would make a good couple. He needs somebody to love him. LOL!!

@SuperSportGirl: Beauty and the beast

@Rdizzle124: Dog is a fucking machine!

@DFergPR: @lesleyhogben its the eyes. Cold eyes of an evil muthaf*cka.

@SueThePirate: “Killing’s the sweetest thing there is.” Yessss, no Woobifying here of the Hound.

“Woobifying!” It sounds like something furries do. Like it’s foreplay to yiffing.

God, I blame the internet.

@jeffslaney: Serious crush on Sansa Stark

She’s underage! (Totally cool if you are too, I guess.)

Meanwhile in Qarth, Zoro Zohan Ducksauce is having his own problems (and a bitch is one of them)…

@jax1125: Khaleesi needs to hush! Your dragons are gone, you need allies.

@EyezrStarry: Denayres is not tryna hear that!! She wants her Dragons back ASAP!!!

@navi226: Florentine the missing tortoise pales into insignificance compared to missing dragons.

Reference please!

Catching up with the slow-moving Jon and Ygritte once more…

@Adele_Jones1: just like a man to get lost and refuse to ask for directions

@TooBadDiane: More Jon and Ygritte banter please.

@theminesofmoria: Gigglefit. I love Ygritte.

Rose Leslie is crushing it. Ygritte’s not just sexually torturing Jon, she’s also torturing the viewing audience, it seems:

@AM3R1CN: we need a two hour episode at some point please with some actual action scenes. sick of this G rating crap

I can imagine dude sitting in front of the TV and screaming, Git it awn awready!

@NorthRemembers: so glad Rose Leslie is doing a terrific job as Ygritte. My book-Ygritte always looked like Pipi Longstocking but now no longer.

@marcelanfarias: Agora quero #GameOfThrones!!! Igritte e Jonh xD kkkk

Ygritte may or may not have uttered five little words…

@hannahsearson: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” AAAHH!! SHE SAID IT! SHE SAID IT!!

@Chelsey_Hud: YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW!

@kelseyinrealife: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” x #ITSBEENSAID

@likeshine: Aaaaand, the first “you know nothing jon snow” of the series has occurred :p

@sarCCastro: I actually cheered when Ygritte said her catchphrase.

@vidge: “You know nothing, Jon Snow” may have just peed my pants in excitement

There was a lot of peeing going on today.

@YgrittetheWild: I think the internet says “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” more than I do.

There was a lot of “You know nothing, Jon Snow” going on today as well.

Meanwhile, at Robb’s camp, the King in the North and Talisa heated it up. With their eyes. Ssssssizzle.

@goddesspharo: Robb Stark’s MO is to smolder.

@CaroJohns84: Robb Stark is muy guapo.

@toleafgirl: Am I the only one who can’t tell Snow and Rob Stark apart?

Well they both have fantastic hair. But yes!

@Jasmino924: I feel like everyone in #GameofThrones can be described as either : gay, incestuous or ‘has got really great hair’.

@BlackTribbles: The Start boys are cute, but they’re stupid. Me no likey.

So the Start boys need to stop?

(I didn’t have anything better than that. Sorry. Quick, five bucks for the best comeback!)

@BinaDouble07: Oh FFS. Talise The Snotty Medic. Almost as annoying as Shae The Funny Whore and Sexposition Ros.

@_Ayers5: This nurse bitch is hot fire

@NiceQueenCersei: Robb Stark is currently eye fucking. So much for war eh? When you can dip your sword in more pleasant places.

NICE QUEENS DO NOT SAY THE “F” WORD.

(In public.)

Back outside of Winterfell, Theon lost the Stark boys’ trail. But Dagmer finds Rickon’s nuts, and he seems to get an idea…

(Wait, isn’t that what Reek did? HMMM.)

Back at Qarth, Ser Jorah returns! Iain Glen has his fans, to be sure.

@politicsismybf: Is there such a thing as a Daenerys and Ser Jorah shipper? Cause I’m definitely one.

@InSilentTears: Why do you scorn him Dany? WHY

@alwinex22: JORAH MORMONT MORE LIKE JORAH FUCK ME MORMONT #notevensorry

@YgrittetheWild: I think I heard a whip crack when @DanyTargaryen_’s head turned to glare at Jorah.

@ilpaesaggista: Calisi was too much of a bitch right there

She’s testy, to be sure. But she’s lost a lot. I’d be testy too!

We go back—once more—to Jon and Ygritte, north of the Wall…

@heyjulieann: Jon Snow is the most lost. The lost-est.

@DapperTrav: John Snow is about to fall for the red head…smh…the power of the box…

@Tlieso: @HBO Ygritte is everything that I hoped she’d be & more.

@CaroReviewsIt: AND where the fuck is Ghost???

GHOST: U DONT OWN ME

@CAPTEARS: Too cold to be fuckin in the snow b

@avakiai_ak47: You sad sad virgin you, Jon Snow.

@FunmbiE: I don’t know if I love this girl for trying to get Jon Snow naked or if I hate her for it…

@harley_summers: The new ginger lass is my new favourite character and no not just cos shes ginger

@acaitycat: Ygritte is fucking brilliant, haters know nothing

There aren’t many haters that I can see!

@Magiz: OMG this redhead. So amazing. John Snow wasn’t ready for her.

@CaroReviewsIt: So Jon Snow is going to come undone by Emma Stone’s doppelgänger?

All redheads are not equal, bro. Emma Stone is talented, charismatic… and maybe half as charming as Rose Leslie. On a good day.

@flawlesstracks: This dude Jon Snow scared of pussy!!!!

@mrashtontaylor: John Snow just got a lesson in women. #thinkaboutit

@awarriorssoul: Poor Jon Snow – she is played him like a game of chutes and ladders

I’ve never thought of the name of that game in sexual terms until now.

Great.

So Sansa had a really bad dream that turned out to be only slightly worse than her reality…

@daymanroyster88: Worst. Period. Ever.

@Jasmino924: Pretty sure this is almost every woman’s reaction to their first period

@burjz: I hysterically sobbed when I got my 1st period bc that meant I had 2 be forced in2 a loveless marriage too, Sansa. It ok, grl

@HEELSherrod: Hey…nothing suspicious goin on here with the two women flipping the bloody mattress over…#SayNothing

@aprilglick: Omg. Sansa just became a woman. Oh. Oh no. And Shae is a badass. A bad ass!!

@stranter: All hand maidens should pull a shank like Shae.

@heyjulieann: Surprisingly Shae may be the best handmaiden a girl could ask for.

That is surprising!

@BeautyBrienne: Oh like that’s not awkward at all. Hounds can scent blood.

@DeadRainbows: The Hound is always close at hand when you start menstruating

SMH.

So Sansa was brought before Cersei…

@RonenNYC: “Joffrey has always been difficult” understatement of the year.

@C0ffee0410: I HATE Cersei Lannister with all my heart, but she is quite gorgeous…

@Crazy__Clarissa: Oh god! Poor girl, I mean who would want Joferry’s kids

@_veritaserum: Ohhh Sansa you poor little Dove.

@RogueBelle: Poor Sansa looks so scared and broken. :(

@mrush353: I feel so bad for Sansa:(

Sophie Turner: gaining every fan that Larry Williams loses.

Throughout the broadcast, a certain name kept surfacing…

@CharlsieESQ: Put Jaime on the screen!

@peasantings: When was the last time Jaime’s been on screen? Like 8 weeks ago?

And then, as if in answer…

@mherr1979: JAIME. FINALLY.

@beng1978: JAIME! YAY!

@mille319: Oh Jaime, I’ve missed you!

@portiagabrielle: I love Jaime

@billiwilliams: JAMIE! It’s been too long

@MaesterPycelle: Glad you remember Alton Jaime cos we don’t :(

Well you’re old. He was just in King’s Landing, dude!

@reginathorn: This guy REALLY looks like Gendry but he’s fanboying Jaime. TOO CONFUSING!

Karl Davies is a tad bit Joe Dempsiesque. If Joe Dempsie had a longer face and wore his hair in a fauxhawk.

(Okay, someone needs to send a memo down to hair-and-makeup and remind them that male hair gel probably did not exist in Westeros.)

@wzawooha: “There’s only one fat Lannister!”

And apparently she’s not married to a Frey and her name is Cinda instead of Genna. Details.

@aprilglick: My mind is actually melting over how good the changes are from the books.

@Frah84: Jaime mentioning Barristan Selmy ALL THE FEELINGS

On one hand I’m glad this sort of reminds the audience about Selmy, and tells me we’re probably getting a Whitebeard. On the other hand, I kind of miss Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning.

So much for the Tower of Joy, eh?

The scene was pretty much brilliant though. Props to Coster-Waldau and Davies.

@Jennarata: Jamie learned that from Oz.

@Trgilly: I’ve come to realize nothing good ever happens on #gameofthrones

‏@Dai_Kitty: That was super not in the book but I actually like it haha

@thelastdisciple: WHOA WHOA WHOA

@JrrdWllms: WHAT THE FUCK?!?

@keity_rich: Oh shit!

@TinPanAlley: Wow.

@danielle17dst: I knew it @mswinbk! I knew this poor kid was a goner!!!

@omgclara: Fucking hell, Jamie Lannister went full Jack Bauer.

I think you have to be screaming something to technically be considered Full Jack Bauer.

@markduffy1980: Some freaky shit on #GameofThrones tonight

@C0ffee0410: Jamie Lannister isn’t one ounce of shit.

@Ms_Rena: I see that sister fucker Jamie Lannister continues to be a evil piece of shit

@reecyKup: The Lannisters are evil people!

@MaesterPycelle: #OM7H Jaime you’re supposed to bang your relatives not kill them. *facepalms*

@NickARoth: Oh Jaime Lannister you sneaky bastard

@andressaholiday: Jaime you are a really good person

@BigDamnHerosSir: So, Season 1 we clung to the books. Season 2, we decided to discard them?

Wait for it…

Waaaaaaait for it…

@BigDamnHerosSir: Wait. Nevermind. I think there was a Kingslayer escape in the books. He kills the Karstark boys, doesn’t he?

Yes.

Back in Qarth, Ser Jorah dons his armor and goes to seek the masked Quaithe…

@LyaStark: You know shit’s going down when Jorah puts on his armor.

@YgrittetheWild: So I’m guessing that’s our brief nudity. Painted arse.

Painted arse!

@Alison0206: This lady in this face mask creeps me out!

@deinemuse: How can that mask be remotely comfortable?

@ChavezChavis: That mask is kind of cool. I need one like that for work!

@Only1EMARSH: “DRAW YOUR SWORD. SEE WHAT YOUR STEEL IS WORTH.” <-------BEST LINE TONIGHT!!!

@RogueBelle: Quaithe, you are freaking amazing. Can you be around always?

@Jasmino924: Dear Jorah, SUCK MY DICK, YOU TRAITOROUS ASSHOLE, sincerely, the fandom.

The fandom as a whole does not say “suck my dick!” I assure you!

Meanwhile, Dany confronts the Thirteen—a governing body that soon becomes the Two.

@BigDamnHerosSir: Ah, I love that Dark-City-looking, Undying jackass. He’s clearly dying. Not so much UNdying as SLOWLYdying.

@TitanConBelfast: WHAT. THE. FUCKING. FUCK???? An alliance between Ducksauce and Pyat Pree? #NeverSawThatOneComing

@RollingDiceDan: I knew that blue lipped Bastard took those dragons.

So did everyone. Except Lex.

@peacefrogdesign: OMFG WATTTT

@BrazenlyVirile: man. what the hell?

@TweetsOpenDoors: What……the……hell

@zoendOut: Wtf is happening?!?!?

@ASchrieber: #GameofThrones is intense. Too much blood for me.

@MollyAGoGo: the fuck just happened in #GameOfThrones? Who’s the dissapearing Grandad?

@johnnyxl: Nice use of Mirror Image spell by the Mage dude

Dungeons & Dragons reference for the win. Except it’s not. Because EVERYONE knows a Mirror Image spell can’t be used to deal damage! What are you, retarded?!

I’m kidding. Seriously, what level you figure Pree has to be to pull that off? Plus you’ve probably got to take a Feat with some hellacious prerequisites in order to kill with an illusion…

@heyjulieann: I am not ready for the house of the undying.

@BKrigster: Think the House of the Undying is definitely one to avoid

You may feel that way, but luckily for us the show does not!

So back at Robb’s camp, the gray light of dawn heralds the fact that the Kingslayer has been caught! It takes the iron will of Catelyn Stark and the steely, bug-eyed gaze of Michelle Fairley to keep Jaime’s head attached to his shoulders!

@vivaciousvirgo: Honestly, did Jamie think he’d get far?

@Jherane_: I really like Lady Stark, she’s probably my fav female character right now.

@BigDamnHerosSir: “Bind him w/every chain you can find”"You’ve become a real she-wolf in your later years. Not much fish left in you”"Gag him!”

@wispa9: LOVE YOU CATELYN.

@alwinex22: CATELYN BAMF STARK EVERYONE I AM CHOKING IN MY TEARS

We skipped back to King’s Landing, where Tyrion met with Cersei. Weirdly, this may have been the first episode I didn’t see 800 “TYRION IS A G!” tweets. Probably because he didn’t appear until the 50th minute.

@mrush353: “It’s hard to put a leash on a dog, once you put a crown on it’s head.”

‏@TonySolo: Holy shit almost a tender moment there

@beng1978: Stop trying to make Cersei likeable!! Missing the point

Anyone who says “trying to make Cersei likeable” is missing the point. I could really dig into this, but… this is already long and there are other tweets to attend to!

We zoomed back to Robb’s ever-tempestuous camp, where it did not appear Jaime Lannister was long for this world…

@amarettosaurus: OMH JAIME AND BRIENNE IN THE SAME PLACE ALL MY FEELS RIGHT NOW

Unintentional spelling LOL in 3… 2… 1:

@mherr1979: Thank god, Jaime’s sense of humor is in tact!

It’s not. Actually.

Clearly there is zero tact involved.

@bitterxxheroics: Jamie Lannister thank you for showing me why I love to hate you.

@MulletTache: Nikolaj Coster Waldau is fantastic.

@politicsismybf: I want to be alone with Jaime Lannister too, Catelyn.

@bellie7: “Is that a woman?” Ahahaha! Oh Jaime!

@heyjulieann: SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH JAIME LANNISTER.

@mrush353: So, Jaime has only been with his sister. Sweet.

@KamalaLane: Jamie Lannister is such a jerk! He’s cocky 24/7.

You love him, Kamala. You know you do.

So the end of the episode happened. Reaction was not mixed.

@ThroMyEyez: oh wow

@BrazenlyVirile: man. what the hell?

@ChunkyLover5246: What. The. Frak.

@mynameismadio: NO FUCKING WAY!

@emsley89: Did that just happen?!?!

@STX21: WHAT THA……….HOLY SHIT THEON WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???? IDIOT!!!

@DreaLucia: WHAT!? NOOOO

@Danatech: #GameofThrones Nooooooo stupid Reek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Reek, it rhymes with geek.

@babttz: Die Die Die Theon ! t’es un minable …

@HotMessMandy: Um. So Theon went to KFC and order the crispy fired version of the Stark Kids?

@courageousgrace: UGH. Theon, I am SO disappointed in you. Now even the fact that you remind me of Ron Weasley can’t save you.

@heyjulieann: Poor Maester Luwin.

@ClassicCrawley: #GameofThrones WOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH!

@almostachemist: FUCK YOU THEON I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS

@SophieJoWasson: SO SHOCKED! Can it be true?!

@fuzzcaminski: Ruddy hell, he can’t have really killed one of the boys can he?

@aldenmusic: Bran…Rickon….NOooOOOooOOoOooOO

@daedalusesq: OH FUCK. MORE LIKE THE TWO.

@mrjamieeast: Right someone better tell me that wasn’t who I thought it was at the end of #GameofThrones or I might cry.

It totally was. Go have your cry, milad—uh, ser.

@StephFerenci: They are not allowed to be dead. Those were the orphan boys. I’ve decided. Theon is an idiot.

@JennFoley: Very VERY odd with Theon right now #gameofthrones #bawling

@HBObiter: Theon could kill everyone off this show and I still wouldn’t be able to take him seriously.

@hannahsearson: Oh, good, so instead of rape and torture, we’re left with the charred corpses of 2 little boys. Joy. : |

What is dead may never be raped or tortured.

So what does everyone think, here in the golden glow of aftermath?

@mwilliamsf1: Brutal.

@PeachJay: Theon must die, farken imbecile. *sigh*, gotta wait another 7 days for a new episode.

@VanDerWard: Oh my word what an episode, Game Of Thrones is getting deeper and deeper

@apoolhallace: That episode was amazing. Especially the music the episode ended on.

@CaraSeidl: #GameofThrones continues to shock and disturb. I can’t look away!

@missbriannie: I wish #GameofThrones would stop changing the goddamn plot. IT MAKES ME RAGE.

Which plot? There are like twenty.

Wait, plots and schemes?

@BellaKarma: Now excuse me, I now have to talk @LaPetiteSirene down from the ceiling.

Go do that.

The rest of you—join me next week for another Twitter recap! Peace!

Today is the US release date for Cyanide’s Game of Thrones RPG. To mark the occasion, we are giving away two copies of the game, along with a limited edition art book, to two lucky US readers! To enter, all you have to do is leave a comment in this post, between now and when the next episode of Game of Thrones airs (which is 9PM Eastern this Sunday, in case you were wondering). We will select two winners at random and contact them via the email, Facebook, or Twitter account that they used to comment. So be sure to use a valid account and check your messages on Monday!

More details on the game and some contest rules, after the jump.

Here is the game’s trailer, titled This Is War.

Game Of Thrones, the new roleplaying video game based on the popular HBO TV series and internationally bestselling A Song of Ice and Fire book series, is coming to Xbox 360, PS3 and PC May 15. Featuring many familiar locations from the books and likenesses from the TV series, Game of Thrones also delves into a new storyline for fans to discover while immersed in 30-plus hours of original game play. The game can be ordered now with a limited edition hardbound art book, Game of Thrones: Visuals from the RPG, at the following link: http://www.gameofthrones-thegame.com/purchase.html

Rules:
1) This contest is open to US residents only.
2) To enter, just leave a comment on this post between now and Sunday, May 20th at 9:00 PM Eastern.
3) You may enter only once. Multiple entries will be ignored.
4) We will notify the winner via their email, Facebook or Twitter account used to comment. If you don’t respond within 48 hours, you will forfeit your prize and we will draw a new winner.
5) The winners will be able to choose whether they would like the Xbox 360 or PS3 version of the game.

Good luck!

Hear Me Roar: No upward momentum, then, the ratings remain flat on average. Too bad. I guess we are already at a stage where additional viewers can be gained only between seasons. Still, I expect more of the audience to tune in early for the final episode(s).

The reactions to last night’s episode from non-book readers should be interesting. The recap from our own new viewer is up now. New viewers, feel free to use this thread to discuss the episode last night without fear of spoilers.

Spoiler note: The discussion in this post is primarily for non-book readers (book fans can discuss the show here). We ask all the series veterans to refrain from posting spoilers in the comments here, veiled or otherwise. This show is best viewed without knowing all the surprises beforehand, so please be respectful of your fellow fans. Thank you!

We Do Not Sow: No way… There is no way those two burnt corpses were Bran and Rickon. I am trying to convince myself that the two bodies Theon presented the townspeople of Winterfell are two children from that local farm… or there is a chance I am in denial, the first stage of grieving. I know that Martin, and the world of Westeros, hold no boundaries as far as who will be killed off; we learned that very early in season one. I am still refusing to believe that Bran and Rickon are dead. I do think Theon would stoop that low and I know they found the walnut shell, but wouldn’t Theon also show the villagers Hodor’s body too? I am holding steadfast to first gut instinct, that Theon took those bodies from the nearby farm and it is not the younger Stark boys. If I am wrong, I will be highly disappointed. I have been looking forward to Bran firing a bow and arrow on horseback or on Hodor’s back. One can only hope.

So the second shocking thing in the episode was Xaro, the king of Qarth, by mass execution. WOW. Who saw that coming? I mean, I guess if you are the richest man in the city you can buy enough people off to do whatever you want. Xaro proclaims himself the King of Qarth and has teamed up with Pyat Pree, the creepy multiple-man. I knew that guy Pyat Pree was up to no good; anyone who has a House of the Undying should never be trusted. It will be interesting, with two episodes left, if Dany, Xaro, Pyat Pree and Jorah can coexist and make a deal to get the dragons back and a ship to Westeros.

Two quick hits on Jon Snow and Sansa. Jon, how dumb can you be? Just kill the girl and be done with it. But nooo…. let her live, let her insult your virginity and then let her lead you right into a camp of other wildlings. Jon, you gotta be smarter out there, hopefully your brothers or maybe even Benjen can bail you out of this mess. I also just noticed Jon’s prisoner calling Jon and the rest of the Night’s Watch, crows. I really found that amusing and makes perfect sense… maybe the wildlings are smarter than I think. In King’s Landing, Sansa becomes a woman. I thought the actress has done a great job the last few episodes, fighting for her life from the riot and from Joffrey. It seems as everyone knows Joffrey is out of control and cannot be tamed, which means in my eyes it’s only a matter of time before Stannis or someone closer to Joffrey makes sure that Joffrey won’t be a problem anymore.

Over in Harrenhal, I think we can agree Arya has been found out by Tywin. He may not know she is a Stark yet, but he knows that she is lying about who she is. I really want her to get the heck outta there before it hits the fan and she is uncovered. Tywin is trying to find out who the assassin is and he mentions the Brotherhood again… hmmm the Brotherhood sounds intriguing!

We finally get to see Jaime again since being captured. I was pretty shocked by his actions against a distant relative, but at the same time, he might be a great solider and warrior but he is a man without honor. I thought he was actually going to escape from the camp but knowing how many men Robb has in his camp if he did get away, I would have thought it to be pretty cheesy. So I am glad in two different ways that he did not escape, but who knows if he will survive the next two episodes, if not the night.

New viewers, do you think Bran and Rickon are dead?

Book Readers, I envision you all reading the recap every week laughing at my wild guessing and conspiracy theories, thanks for the kind words from all of you reading the new viewers recap! (Is it too late to realign my house allegiance? How did I pick the house with only 3 people and they are all Bastards!)

Book Readers
Axechucker – TVEquals
James Hibberd – Entertainment Weekly
Alyssa Rosenberg – ThinkProgress
Maureen Ryan – Huffington Post
Todd VanDerWerff – A.V. Club
James Poniewozik – Time
Rowan Kaiser – PressPlay
Josh Wigler – MTV
Scott Meslow – The Atlantic
Sean T. Collins – Rolling Stone
Westeros.org

New Viewers
Jenifer D. Braun – The NJ Star-Ledger
Alan Sepinwall – HitFix
David Sims – A.V. Club
Matt Richenthal – TV Fanatic
Larry Williams – OtakuASSEMBLE
John Kubicek – Buddy TV

HBO also provides regular recap and “Inside the Episode” videos every week:

Episode seventeen is in the books. What did you think? My full recap and reactions is below. Read it, after the break, then share your thoughts in the comments!

Spoiler Note: This post is for those who have read A Clash of Kings. As such the post itself and the comments will contain spoilers. If you haven’t read ACoK yet, our non-book-reader recap will be up later. Thanks!

Summary

Where to start? Let’s begin beyond the Wall, where Ygritte is still Jon’s prisoner. Apparently Jon enjoyed their spooning session quite a bit. Ygritte taunts him mercilessly about it as they continue to hunt for Qhorin and his men. But before they can find them, Ygritte gets away and leads Jon right into a band of wildlings.

At Harrenhal, Tywin is killing soldiers, trying to find the assassin that is on the loose. Gregor suggests it may be someone from the Brotherhood without Banners, who has infiltrated the camp. Tywin is furious that the Brotherhood is still out there, causing trouble. He orders Clegane to burn and pillage in an attempt to suss out the location of the Brotherhood. Arya and Tywin then talk about Harrenhal, and the tale of Harren the Black. Arya knows the story but is more interested in the Targaryen sisters who helped Aegon burn the castle down. Before dismissing her, Tywin reveals that he knows that Arya is not a commoner.

In King’s Landing, Sansa thanks Sandor for rescuing her. Sandor says “you’re welcome” in his own special way. Later, Sansa has her first period and freaks out because it means she can now bear the king’s children. Shae tries to help her hide the evidence, even going so far as to threaten another handmaiden. But it’s all in vain as the Hound walks in. Later, Cersei attempts to console Sansa and gives her some guidance about what it takes to be a queen and a wife and a mother. That night, Tyrion and Cersei share a moment as they realize Joffrey is out of control and with Stannis coming for them, protecting the kingdom falls on them.

Across the Narrow Sea, Dany is distraught over her dragons being stolen and is blaming Xaro. Xaro says he has called a meeting of the Thirteen and suspects it was one of them that was responsible. Jorah returns and Dany talks with him about trust. Jorah assures her that she can trust him, so she orders him to find her dragons. Jorah goes to Quaithe, as she seems to know things. Quaithe tells Jorah that the ones who have the dragons is with Dany. Dany who is at the meeting of the Thirteen. There, Pyat Pree reveals he has the dragons. And Xaro is in league with him. They’re making a power play to install Xaro as King of Qarth. Pree’s doubles assassinate the remaining members of the Thirteen. One of the Pyat Pree’s then tells Dany to come to the House of the Undying if she wants her dragons back. Jorah runs in and stabs the Pree in the back and he dissipates. Another Pyat Pree advances on them, again urging Dany to come to the House of the Undying. Dany, Jorah and Kovarro high-tail it out of there.

At Robb Stark’s camp, Alton has returned with the response from Cersei to his terms. Robb orders Alton to be put in with Jaime until a new pen can be built for him. Robb then talks to Talisa, who needs more medical supplies, so Robb tells her to come with him to the Crag. Later, Alton and Jaime talk about their old squiring days. Then Jaime gets an idea for how he can escape. He asks Alton for his help, all he needs is his life. He kills Alton and the guard enters to investigate. Jaime kills him too, takes his keys and unchains himself. He must not have gotten far though, as the next morning he is being dragged back into camp. Catelyn has to keep Lord Karstark, whose son was guarding Jaime that night and was killed by the Kingslayer, from killing Jaime in revenge. That night, Catelyn goes to confront Jaime. Jaime taunts her about Ned’s bastard. Catelyn asks Brienne for her sword.

In Winterfell, Theon has discovered that Bran and Rickon have escaped. He hunts them down with hounds and Maester Luwin is dragged along. We see Bran, Rickon, Hodor and Osha walking in the countryside, they come upon the farm that the two orphan boys were sent to. Osha says they can’t run forever, eventually they will be tracked down. Later, Theon and crew arrive at the same farm, where Dagmer finds some walnut shells. He tells Theon to send Luwin away. Back at Winterfell, Theon has gathered the servants of Winterfell in the courtyard, including Maester Luwin. He then shows them what he does to those who defy him and reveals the tarred corpses of two small children. Maester Luwin cries out in anguish. Theon looks guilty. Fade to black.

What I Liked

Qarthian Coup – I thought this was a nice twist and, as a book reader, one that really surprised me. It makes sense that there would be some power plays within the Thirteen and this was a bold move by Xaro and Pyat Pree. Plus the whole scene with all the Pyat Prees slitting the throats of the rest of the Thirteen was creepy and cool. I’m not entirely sure why they needed to steal Dany’s dragons to pull this off, but maybe it will become clear on a rewatch or in a later episode. Anyway, I thought it was a cool twist and it made me say “Daaammn!” in a good way.
“You Know Nothing, Jon Snow.” – A classic line from the book that everyone was waiting to hear and Rose Leslie nailed it.
The Brotherhood – I like that they are establishing the Brotherhood without Banners. Makes me certain we should get some good scenes with them in later seasons.
This cast is amazing – There were a bunch of scenes tonight of just two people talking, but they were so compelling and dramatic because of the acting. Tywin and Arya. Cersei and Tyrion. Alton and Jaime. These scenes may not have looked like much on paper, but they were amazing to watch on screen, thanks to stellar acting by Charles Dance, Maisie Williams, Lena Headey, Peter Dinklage, Karl Davies and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.
That ending – So, they went there. I remember people wondering if David & Dan would be so cruel as to make all the new viewers think that Bran and Rickon were actually dead. Although there were clues that those two corpses aren’t the Stark boys, I’m sure many viewers will be convinced that they are. The tweet post should be interesting this week. I’m interest in We Do Not Sow’s take, as well. Let’s try not to ruin it for people, okay?

What I Didn’t Like

Jaime the Kinslayer – Jaime really went to the dark side in this one. Not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I can buy that a starving, desperate, imprisoned Jaime would go to great lengths to escape; but one of the most compelling parts of Jaime’s character is that despite doing some pretty horrible things, he does have a conscience. I think kinslaying may be too much, even for him. But damn, did Coster-Waldau sell it.

What did everyone else think? Leave your thoughts in the comments and don’t forget to rate the episode in our poll, at the bottom of this page.

We’re in the home stretch now. Episode seven of season two of Game of Thrones airs tonight and it is entitled “A Man Without Honor”. Use this thread to chat about the episode and we will have the recap thread up as soon as it ends, for you to provide your instant reactions. Since I’m out of screeners, I’ll update the recap thread with my thoughts a little later. Here are the details on tonight’s ep:

Writers: David Benioff & D.B. Weiss
Director: David Nutter
Runtime: 56 min
Synopsis: Jaime meets a distant relative; Dany receives an invitation to the House of the Undying; Theon leads a search party; Jon loses his way in the wilderness; Cersei counsels Sansa.

• Peter Dinklage graces the May 24, 2012 cover of Rolling Stone. Now available on newsstands everywhere!
• Amrita Acharia spoke with SeattlePi about last week’s unexpected twist, Irri’s relationship with Daenerys and shares details about a filmed scene that we did not see- yet.
• Carice van Houten talks to the L.A. Times about playing the red priestess Melisandre, her new fame, and the unusual hair piece needed for her eye-popping birthing scene:

I basically walked around making jokes,” she said. “Making fun of the merkin. This may sound weird, but we had great fun taking pictures of me and the merkin.

• Richard Madden discusses Theon’s betrayal and the mystery woman Talisa in a new Access Hollywood article.
• Rose Leslie talks to Access Hollywood as well, about wildling woman Ygritte and her connection to Jon Snow:

I think she’s totally bewildered by Jon. She hasn’t ever come across somebody like him before in her whole life. All the boys, all the men that she’s ever known have always tried to come on to her or tried to steal her, ‘cause she’s incredibly like, sexual as well. And she just cannot figure him out.

• A Forbes article crowning “HBO’s ‘Game Of Thrones’ On Track To Be Crowned Most Pirated Show Of 2012,” kicked off a debate about premium cable business models and piracy.

• Forbes contributor Erik Kain shared his views on the piracy problem, claiming HBO had “only itself to blame.”

HBO co-president Eric Kessler said that cord-cutting has been “minimal” and largely the result of “macroeconomic” conditions in an interview at the VideoShmooze: NYC Online Video Leadership Forum.

Kessler did not refer this “cord-cutting” as a fad or a temporary phenomenon as has been misreported, following the initial blog postings.

• In a follow-up post on Forbes.com, Kain amended his opinion to say that HBO did have itself to blame “but only because piracy isn’t actually a threat to their business model at this point.”

• Blogger Dustin Curtis has a rebuttal examining Eric Kessler’s interview, which explains why in the premium network’s opinion, “moving to internet distribution would deal a fatal blow to HBO’s business.”

It’s a complicated issue, and one that’s caused a great deal of frustration for Game of Thrones fans with limited or no legal access to the show. Here’s hoping that a more flexible model can be developed that makes everyone happy in the near future.

Next, a take on more recent events. Theon’s decision making flowchart:

Yes, say it, Ygritte. We all know what you’re supposed to say …

I finished and delivered my script for season three of GAME OF THRONES. It’s episode 307, with the working title “Autumn Storms.” David and Dan seem to like it. Casting is in full swing for the new season, so I’m watching auditions every night. Froggy may be turning up soon, but don’t hold your breath. I’m too busy to devote much time to whipping up obscure clues.

Winter Is Coming: It seems like most, if not all, the scripts for season three have been finished. And now we have official confirmation of casting being underway. It sounds like they may even be close on a few roles. Can’t wait until those casting announcements start rolling in!

As Michael Palin once famously said, “This is supposed to be an ‘appy occasion! Let’s not bicker and argue about ‘oo killed ‘oo.” And right now I’m listening to my inner Swamp Castle king, because I was tempted to begin this interview with a rant about how ungainly and wasteful it was to kill off Amrita Acharia’s Irri at the end of “The Old Gods and the New.” But that’s a rail for another day, Gatehouse faithful. This is a happy occasion!

I’d been dying to talk to Amrita (“Ami” to her friends) ever since Irri and Rakharo shared that nuance-filled conversation about rabbits and ducks and goats and dogs, back in season one’s “Lord Snow” episode. The subtle looks and the crackling chemistry between Acharia and Elyes Gabel spawned more than a few rumors and launched more than a few ‘ships, not to mention spawned a Tumblr site or two. I was dying to pick her brain regarding some of the subtleties I had picked up.

It just so happened she was visiting L.A.! In between HBO pressers and production meetings, I was fortunate enough to meet Amrita through a mutual friend, LA-based actor and fellow nerd Jake Stormoen (a talented young man who also routinely gets abused by Kristian Nairn on World of Warcraft). Ami joined me and a handful of fellow fans at the La Cienega Cuban restaurant Versailles, where we partook of savory garlic chicken, fluffed rice and beans, and fried plantains. We spent the evening mocking Jake’s priestly garb, showing off FaB’s infamous zombie eye, and making short jokes at Amrita’s expense. A lovely time was had by all.

The one thing I didn’t do was interview her! Thank god for e-mail.

Amrita is sharp-witted and personable, quick with her tongue or a saucy glance. I don’t have to tell you she’s insanely beautiful (pictures can tell you that), but nothing quite captures how lively she is in person. She has an almost dare-to-be-bolder-than-you outlook, and nothing—absolutely nothing—fazes her. She could hear the most raunchy jape and she’d just look at you with those gorgeous brown eyes half-lidded, a quarter-smile playing on her lips. Almost like she might be slightly impressed with your joke, but she’s heard worse, and is only declining to tell it because of the public setting.

I know that’s why they call it “acting,” but she actually seems to be the polar opposite of the quick-tempered, set-in-her-ways Game of Thrones character she portrays. In any other world, I could easily see Amrita playing the exotic bombshell—the cherry-lipped temptress who seduces with a look and a word. The best approximation I can give you is a more petite, wordly version of Salma Hayek, but even that comparison isn’t exactly right.

Probably best to say that Amrita is Amrita, and lordy—she can probably play anything.

Born in Nepal (she’s Ukrainian-Nepalese forged), Amrita moved to Norway at a very young age and basically “learned Norwegian from scratch.” She was schooled at the Academy of Live and Recorded Arts in London, and appeared in various British television series, such as Doctors and Casualty, before landing the role of Irri on Game of Thrones.

Fire And Blood: First of all … Hello, Amrita! Thanks for taking the time to speak to Winter Is Coming!

Amrita Acharia: It’s my pleasure, thanks for having me!

FaB: I’m gonna jump right into it, because I’m still in shock: When did you find out Irri was going to die this season?

AA: When I read my scripts a couple of months before filming.

FaB: It was probably my biggest disappointment in the season thus far. It seemed to me there were so many different directions they could have gone with Irri’s story, yet they chose this end. Were there ever any discussions about other ways for her to go?

AA: I’m sure there may have been many versions – I wasn’t personally involved in any of the discussions!

FaB: If nothing else she could have at least had a nice dramatic death scene. Sean Bean is famous for them.

(In a short but outstanding interview with Hanh Nguyen of seattlepi.com, Amrita talked about shooting a death scene that, for whatever reason, we were not privy to:

I’m waiting for Daenerys to come back so I’m running up the stairs. “Khaleesi, are you back yet?” And the dragons are gone. Out of nowhere, there’s a noose around my neck. I think it’s hard to be strangled onscreen because obviously to an extent to make it look real, you really have to be a bit strangled. So I had massive bruises on my neck the next day. I was proud. Battle scars. Death scenes are fun.

I’m still hoping that maybe we’ll get our very first flashback next episode and see that scene!)

FaB: If you could have chosen any other way to have your character die, what would it be?

No, this is not from Game of Thrones!

FaB: That’s… that would be an amazing way to go, actually.

(FaB has to recollect his thoughts after that revelation.)

FaB: … Okay! There was a pretty loud outpouring of shock and dismay on the internet when Irri died. But I’m glad, at least, that you know she was loved, and that the work you put in was not in vain. Has the fans’ passion for the show surprised you at all?

AA: It did at first, yes, but I’ve come to understand that fans love every aspect of the show and pick up on the smallest of nuances! I’m glad that Irri made her own impact!

FaB: Speaking of surprises, there seemed to be a lot of people reading into Irri and Rakharo’s “relationship” even before there was one. The “rabbit and duck” scene in the “Lord Snow” episode drew a pretty intense amount of interest and speculation. Was a mutual attraction between Irri and Rakharo ever discussed with the writers? How did it all play out?

AA: The scenes were added in during the course of S1 filming – the writers are brilliant at great story lines and for me it was a privilege to be able to develop Irri more as a character. The rabbit and duck scene was a lot of fun because she gets to be such a stroppy woman in it and its pretty obvious she fancies the hell out of Rakharo!

FaB: Tell me your top three favorite Irri scenes!

AA: “Rabbit and duck,” as you call it! “Dany’s pregnant,” and “Rakharo’s death.”

FaB: And what are your top-three non-Irri scenes from Game of Thrones? What’s made you a fan of the show?

AA: That’s too hard – way too many to choose from!! If I choose something now, I’ll be biting my tongue later when I think of yet another one I love! I’m a massive fan of Joffrey’s scenes and obviously adamantly loyal to Dany’s storyline.

FaB: So let’s talk about Amrita! You are a London-based actress who was born in Norway, and speaks English, Norwegian, Russian and Ukrainian. Most Americans don’t learn more than English fluently (and sometimes not even that). What is your ancestry? Did your linguistics training make learning Dothraki easier?

AA: In bold strokes: I’m half Nepalese and half Ukranian, brought up mainly in Kathmandu, England, and northern Norway, and I think the U.S. should be the next stop. I love languages and if anything would love to learn more!! I’m sure being multilingual helped with learning Dothraki lines – I definitely enjoyed playing around with the sounds and figuring out the word order!

FaB: You’re currently visiting Los Angeles. I assume you’ve had some fun! Tell us about the best day you’ve had so far?

AA: Yes!! I LOVE L.A.!! I’m pretty sure I make a good California girl! My best day was a Saturday when not only did I get to sit on an amazing masterclass at John Ruskin’s School, but also got to weave, Californian-style, in and out of traffic on the back of a friends massive motorbike! The day continued with ice cream for breakfast and a road-trip – with the car roof down – to Ventura, cycling to the pier and then driving all the way back to L.A. for a bbq and hot tub. By far the best thing about this trip is the amazing friends I’ve met and beig able to experience a bit of the industry out here. It’s a very different place than the UK!

FaB: That sounds insanely fun. Would that I were a hot young actress! Did you land a bunch of meetings? Any possible projects in the works? Or is it still hush-hush?

AA: I had some meetings – we’ll see what comes of them!

FaB: I was hoping to hear our mutual friend Jake Stormoen had been tied up and trapped in the form of a yoga pretzel by now but no such luck. Is he a proper tour guide? Hopefully he didn’t charge you for gas.

AA: Yeah, he charges by the hour – only joking! I’m not gonna big him up too much, I don’t want him to get too cocky… ;) But yes he was a brilliant tour guide, friend and fellow actor and he spoilt me silly! And he did get roped into Bikram, but was actually not too bad. Nothing resembling pretzels though.

FaB: You are a proud yoga practitioner. Do you think there is a Dothraki equivalent to yoga?

AA: I’m not actually that great at other yoga – Bikram is pretty much the only one I do because its crazy intense – I’m rubbish at meditation, so Bikram is the closest I get. The Dothraki equivalent? Probably playing catch with slaughtered traitors.

FaB: That’s… both frightening and awesome. In a recent interview with HitFix, you mentioned you and your little sister used to put together these make-believe little clubs. I’m oddly intrigued by the thought of an “Ancient Egyptian” club. Tell me about this thing!

AA: She will kill me if she reads this! We had tons of secret clubs growing up, we had mental imaginations and loved pretending to be other people/ time-travelling/ going on treasure hunts or spying on people. I think most kids do? Our Ancient Egyptian one was the same. We pretended to be Egyptian gods of animals, herbs, war, or whatever. We did make some brilliant membership cards that I’m sure are stuffed in a box somewhere!

FaB: You could pass for Egyptian. You could probably pass for a lot. The sky’s the limit! Have you ever read for a role and immediately thought, “Wow, I’m so not what they’re looking for in this role”?

AA: Well I guess if I get “Pale blonde blue-eyed” in the breakdown… as much of a mix I am, I probably can’t pull that off – but in general it’s my job to transform as well as I can!

FaB: Let’s go back to the start. It seems like Nina Gold almost always gets it right (We always say “In Nina Gold We Trust” at WiC) and it felt like you were cast perfectly. What was the auditioning process like for Irri?

AA: The auditioning was as they usually go. You come in, do your damn best, pretend to forget about it but actually keep fingers toes everything crossed, wait a bit, then you get called back, repeat the process and wait some more… and next thing you know you’re part of this epic journey called Game of Thrones.

FaB: Other than learning Dothraki, what was the hardest part about playing Irri?

AA: The sandals. My feet aren’t made for Dothraki sandals!

FaB: In season one, just before Viserys got a pot of gold dumped on his head in “A Golden Crown,” Irri translates his drunken rant to Khal Drogo, a scene I thought you played brilliantly. There were so many conflicting emotions in your eyes. What was going through Irri’s mind during that scene?

AA: Well she’s the only one that could translate fast enough. The threats he was coming out with weren’t exactly acceptable, especially not by Dothraki standards. So repeating those words aloud was terrifying for Irri… don’t shoot the messenger comes to mind! There was no knowing how the khal would react, the Dothraki knew this Viserys dude was unhinged – and that made him unpredictable. But it’s her duty and she did her duty. Irri doesn’t take s*** and she won’t have her khaleesi take it either, even from her brother.

FaB: A lot of fans thought you were absolutely heartbreaking in “The Night Lands,” when Irri learns of Rakharo’s death. But what impressed me was the ability to speak Dothraki AND cry on-camera at the same time. How did you approach that scene?

AA: It really was a great scene to do, and the Dothraki language is pretty harsh and emotional anyway. Irri just found her beau’s decapitated head in a bag in the middle of the Red Waste, and she never told him she fancied him. That’s rough. Irri was NOT a happy bunny that day. That was my approach to it.

FaB: Haha! “Not a happy bunny” indeed! What was it like working with Elyes Gabel?

AA: A lot of fun, and again like all the actors on set, very inspiring. He’s a brilliant actor and gives lot to play off.

FaB: Weirdly, after interviewing a number of actors, that seems to be one of the most appreciated qualities to find in other actors. Being “giving,” allowing your fellow actors the time and space and opportunity to act and react. I guess it’s something non-actors just don’t consider. Irri’s friendship with Daenerys felt pretty natural. How long did it take for you to form a good chemistry with Emilia Clarke?

AA: Emilia is one of the most easygoing, down-to-earth and dedicated people I’ve met. And she has a sense of humour. So it wasn’t hard at all!

FaB: You are friends with Laura Pradelska outside of the show. What can we expect from Quaithe? Or is Quaithe a mystery you cannot speak of?

AA: I am indeed friends with Laura, she’s a huge inspiration and a ton of fun! And yes Quaithe is a mystery, you should know better than ask! ;)

FaB: Drat. Oh, well. Rakharo’s death was very shocking, though it was rumored Elyes Gabel was leaving the show. We had NO such hint about you. Is there a feeling like the show is taking away Dany’s connection with the Dothraki, or will Kovarro somehow step up and remind Dany of the Dothraki’s greatness? He doesn’t seem to be overly bright.

AA: Don’t say that! Kovarro is the bomb!!! He’s true Dothraki! I think the Dothraki have played a huge part in Dany’s development and her husband was the greatest Dothraki, so I believe Dany will always have a spot for the Dothraki in her heart. She understands them.

FaB: If you had one wish for Dany in the future, what would it be?

AA: To win. And maybe find a good king for herself too.

FaB: Pop culture time! Tell us three songs that you most often listen to? What’s on your iPod?

AA: “Throne” by Lil Wayne, anything from “Watch the Throne” by Jay-Z and Kayne West… just kidding! Okay, so right now:

1) “CRAZY” (Gnarls Barkley)
2) “Sexual Healing” (Marvin Gaye) and at the moment – sorry, but…
3) “Good Feeling” (Flo Rida) – I’m blaming L.A. for that one.

(FaB: I think she was humming this song at Versailles…)

FaB: Favourite television show (besides Game of Thrones)?

AA: Mad Men! I’ve also belatedly started watching Breaking Bad as well.

FaB: I love both of those shows. Last question—and this is one I take a lot of heat for: I am in the midst of a personal crusade, which is to remove the colour INDIGO from the seven-colour spectrum, on the basis that it makes no sense to be there. Thus far in interviews I’ve done with GoT cast members, most of them remain pro-indigo (Sophie Turner, Lena Headey, Aimee Richardson, and now even Emilia Clarke and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), with John Bradley being the only holdout to stand steadfast by my side. So my very important question to you is… can you support my ban of that wretched seventh colour, or is indigo too important to be taken from your everyday life?

AA: I’m sorry but indigo needs to remain. The more colours the merrier! I know you’re doing the hurt puppy look but its not going to work. Pro indigo.

FaB: Dratmonkeys! I think I’m losing this war. Richardson and Turner will never let me hear the end of it. Well, thank you once again for taking the time to talk with us! You are fantastic. (it is known.)

(Also, I’m not giving a hurt puppy look. But the zombie eye? Oh yes. Ohhhh yes.)

AA: You and your games! No, thanks very much for your time. It was a pleasure.

The pleasure was all mine! Thanks, Ami!

Watch the preview on Youtube

In this week’s episode, Daenerys reels from the loss of her dragons, and receives an invitation to the House of the Undying. Theon searches for the escaped Bran, Rickon, Hodor and Osha. Jon is lost beyond the Wall, and Jaime Lannister is visited by his cousin Alton, bearing a message. Cersei counsels Sansa as unrest continues to escalate in King’s Landing. Tywin searches for the cause of Harrenhal’s recent deaths.

“A Man Without Honor” was written by David Benioff & D.B. Weiss, and directed by David Nutter.

Ours is the Fury: I’m curious to see how Theon’s hunt will play out since we’re missing Reek from A Clash of Kings. What are you looking forward to?

Ser Rodrik Cassel: dignified, strong, steadfast. Ron Donachie: dignified, strong, steadfast. The actor played a man not too far from himself. But that in no way diminishes his performance. Rodrik Cassel was the Stark’s rock in the sea of churning waters that is Westeros. Ron Donachie’s performance was rock solid in a way that anchored the production and made those wildly-conflicted characters around him seem all the more erratic. This was illustrated all too well in Donachie’s final scene.

But before we get to that, let’s go back to the beginning. Ron Donachie was one of the cast members brought on for the original pilot. He has been with the production for the long haul. And his passion for the show, and the book series, was evident from the very beginning. Ron attended the very first Belfast “moot” (a moot is the Ice and Fire fandom’s term for a fan gathering). Even then, only a couple months after he had been cast, he had read all of the books and was delighted to discuss the details of the series to anyone who would listen.

His performance as Rodrik was just what the show needed. Nothing too flashy (well, except for those epic whiskers); just a dependable, veteran character actor doing his work and letting others take the glory. That being said, Donachie did have his moments. One of them was in season one, where we learned that Ser Rodrik is pretty good with a sword, when he took down some mountain clansmen during the attack in the Vale.

And then there was this past week’s death scene. Wow, that death scene. We saw Ser Rodrik defiant in the face of the ultimate betrayal, even if it meant he would lose his life. And it did.

Ser Rodrik met his death the same way he lived his life, with a quiet dignity. And his last words were so poignant. First, his reassuring words to Bran, “Hush now, child. I’m off to see your father.” And then his damnation of Theon, “Gods help you, Theon Greyjoy. Now you are truly lost.” So well played by Donachie, his quiet strength in stark contrast to Theon’s frantic emotions. I don’t think there were many dry eyes at that moment, not only in Winterfell, but in living rooms everywhere.

And so we mourn the loss of another great actor and another great character. And we gather now to give Ron Donachie and Ser Rodrik Cassel the send-off he deserves.

But he is not the only Cassel we want to recognize today. Jory Cassel, played by Jamie Sives, was killed in the first season, before the Curtain Call posts became a WinterIsComing.net tradition. So we think commemorating his performance now, alongside his on-screen uncle, is the proper thing to do. Sives’ performance was much like Donachie’s, understated but not under-appreciated. He was Ned Stark’s right-hand man in King’s Landing, as Rodrik served at Catelyn Stark’s side in her travels across Westeros, and he also met a painful end at the hands of a traitor. When Sives was on-screen, he injected the role of Jory with the right amount of warmth and humor.

So we bid the Cassels farewell from this tale. (Interesting sidenote: although the Cassel family is gone from the show, the Donachie family lives on as Daniel Portman, aka Podrik Payne, is Ron Donachie’s son.) Remember this is not a thread to discuss or debate the merits of the adaptation but is here for us to pay our respects to these fallen Stark heroes and share our appreciation for these two wonderful Scottish actors, Jamie Sives and Ron Donachie.

What can we gather from the data collected? Well, for one, the ratings have been pretty much flat, as you have noticed from week to week – this steady trend is comparable to the long stretch of episodes 3 through 7 last year. The show caught up in ratings with Boardwalk Empire by the end of the first season, and jumped ahead of it this year, keeping a full million difference and more. True Blood, lagging behind as far as the first seasons of the respective shows are concerned, is level with Thrones this year so far, with the difference being that the Southern vampire mystery series gets longer runs of 12 episodes per season. At the S2 6th episode mark, TB reached 4 million viewers exactly, with 6 more episodes to go. Game of Thrones has 4 episodes left this season – last year, the final four instalments brought about a total rise of about half a million viewers. A feat that can hopefully be repeated this time around as well.

Let us know your own predictions for the rest of the season in the comments.

Game of Thrones episode 16, “The Old Gods and the New” got plenty of Twitter reaction, and I’ll give you one guess what scene made my computer screen freeze up and my Twitter account basically dump out on me.

(Here’s your hint: it begins with “San” and ends with “San.”)

As per the usual, these tasty treats were taken from tweets hashtagged #GameOfThrones and #TheOldGodsAndTheNew. They are spoiler-y with regard to the episode in question, but if you haven’t watched it, well, why the hell are you here?

We begin as the buzzing fandom writhes in anticipation. Pregame traditions tend to involve drinking.

‏@HotMessMandy: Getting ready for #GameOfThrones new episode tonight. #TheOldGodsandTheNew …when I say getting ready….DRINKING.

@FYWinterfell: Every time a Stark gets the sh*t end of the stick- take a drink! How much wine will I drink tonight?

@Ramphastaar: watchuing #gameofthrones already drunk lol

Some have no rituals. Some just settle in and embrace the inevitable dark.

@wordlyChimp: #TheOldGodsAndTheNew, eh? I bet someone’s gonna die during

@Cescaa_Rose: I love hearing my parents theories on what will happen in #gameofthrones each ep, THEY HAVE SUCH BEAUTIFUL HOPE

“It gets better.”

@ShellyS: 5 min to #Sherlock. Will watch #GameofThrones later.

It’s good to be the only game in tow—hey.

Well. Can’t be number one in everyone’s eyes!

@redjen78: I’ve never been so obsessed with a show as I’ve been with #gameofthrones

@MOVIEBRAINROT: Let’s do this…it has more hot blondes with baby dragons per minute then any other show on TV.

@BeboFett: Time to see what the pussy demon is up to this week!!!

Some people have their priorities straight:

@AlyssaRosenberg: Aaaand, the “Nudity” warning is back on #GameofThrones…

@Jennike87: Thank god there is nudity in this episode!

@turnageb: And the people rejoice.

@jchrisfudge: my wife is going to walk down the aisle to the #gameofthrones opening music»

…

Glass Half Full says, “At least it’s not The Rains of Castamere.”

@AntTheDolphin: #GameOfThrones SO SHUT THE FUCK UP

Money.

So we open at Winterfell and—Oh My Freaking God.

@theongreyjoys: Here comes the Theon hate.

@beximilian: Bathing in the bitter tears of Theon haters hahahahahahahahahaha #WeDoNotSow

@akpierce: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT, THEON APOLOGISTS.

Yeah. This was the typical response:

@siix0_beautiixo: Fuck you Theon. Fuck you Theon. Fuck you Theon Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you.

@faboamanto: Theon you scum

@a2whimsy: “Prince Theon” my ass #traitor

@russiankoolaid: “I’ve taken Winterfell. I took it.” SHUT THE FUCK UP THEON WE GET YOUR POINT

@MercifulMalacai: Seriously Theon STFU.. I knew this was coming but I am SO MAD

@sjc_jackson: lmao what victory? you overtook a village of 10 people being looked over by a 12 year old…sit down

@angieindmorning: Theon, Theon, it rhymes with I’ve made a huge mistake.

@reecyKup: Um, you overtook a handicapped little boy. Punk ass!

@Adele_Jones1: THEON no respect for you fool

@badnecklace: Did they really have Theon say he’s “occupying Winterfell”? ROTFL. Dying. Seriously

@Veruca_K: Said it before and I’ll say it again. Theon is the poor man’s Mick Jagger.

@xoamelia: Theon is kind of the Pete Campbell of #gameofthrones

Hell’s bells, Trudy!

@AKA_Qthulhu: Wouldn’t have happened with the hardcore Starks guarding that courtyard.

That’s an argument that could be made! At least Bran might have been woken from his sound sleep by the sound of combat. But where were you, Qthulhu? Eh? Eh?

I’m putting this on Robb. Or Rodrik, who took 200 men south to Torrhen Square, leaving like… 19 people at Winterfell. It’s fine, though. Rodrik paid for going south.

And for not teaching Theon how to properly wield a sword.

@YaraGreyjoy: Scalp his sideburns!

@AFchris77: Sir Rodrick!!!! NOOOoO!!!!

@schreiltalk: I think I’ve cracked the code. If you have cool facial hair, you die.

And then a lot of people started crying. And I don’t just mean onscreen.

@xcasssi: Holy shit I’m fucking balling. :(

@MercifulMalaca: Crying a little tbh

@BigDamnHerosSir: Oh god, Bran screaming in the background was a really good touch. Yikes. Little teary

@PhilBongiovanni: This show never fails to piss me off

@PinktheElephant: I don’t think I can watch #GameOfThrones anymore. Its too upsetting

@tmoatz: Well someone’s already dead and I’m already crying

Pretty emotional. Even FaBio was misty. Alfie, Isaac, Donald, Ron … even Art freaking Parkinson. Every single person in that scene sold it. Nails!

@thronecast: Actually – with all due respect to Ser Rodrik, didn’t he TRAIN Theon in swordfighting back in the day? Took Greyjoy four swings! #toosoon?

Right??

@134Lounge: Only bitches take 4 swings.

@JoeBuffaloWins: wow. Greyjoy has lost it.

@BridgetWoj: That was the worst beheading I’ve ever seen.

@remuslupin: lol rickon you actually had a line

A silver lining to every cloud.

@Lucid_Dragon: Damn he should have at least sharpened that sword first. Theon kicked that old mans head off! O_o

@SCHirst: He kicked the head!! Took him long enough.

Canon.

So we’re whisked north of the Wall. The “True North”…

@AKA_Qthulhu: Iceland looks better by the minute.

@beximilian: Occurs to me now how stupid it is to have a scouting party meant for an ambush scamper about in the snow in full black #wut

@TheCarpetIslava: Ghost Don’t need to listen to you Jon Snow! He Do what he wants!

Ghost do what Ghost do.

At Harrenhal, Arya plays waitress to Lord Tywin Lannister, and it occurs to me should might be quicker on rollerskates. And I thought this because I’m older than most of you whippernappers. Get off my lawn!

@City_Blind: I love Arya’s smiles of barely contained rage.

@aprilglick: Oh @Maisie_Williams, I want you to win an Emmy. So perfectly expressive for Arya. #feelings

@GameOfRos: Ok, Tywin. The polyester skirt is forgiven. #UntilNextSeason

IT’S A SASH.

Littlefinger teleported in…

@HEELSherrod: Little Finger showing up dressed as an extra from Something Funny Happened on the way to the Forum

IT’S A SASH.

@apsiva: Run Arya run, little finger will sell you out!

@TitanConBelfast: Littlefinger/Tywin/Arya scene was excruciating to watch Not sure if it was cause I was afraid he’d recognise her or cause it was all made up

@mebes: why the fuck is Littlefinger everywhere in this show except where he is supposed to be in the book?

@Werthead: @TitanConBelfast My problem is how the hell did LF get there? Helicopter? if he needed authorisation, why not go to KL which is much nearer?

@TitanConBelfast: @Werthead you knew what I meant. Geographically it made absolutely no sense for Littlefinger to be there

@Werthead: @TitanConBelfast There are times when TV Westeros feels about 17 miles across maximum.

‏@russiankoolaid: Littlefinger must fucking teleport or something

Okay, I admit I am fond of the “Littlefinger teleports” jokes, but if we’re being serious a moment…

SOAPBOX TIME: This show specifically avoids the mention of the passage of time. This is built into the very bones of the tale; even seasons aren’t measurable. Very rarely—if ever—do we hear days, weeks, or months specifically mentioned in relation to other events.

Sure, Littlefinger scooted his fanny from the Stormlands, over to Highgarden (presumably), past King’s Landing (avoiding Tyrion and his Machiavellian machinations) and north to the Riverlands, finally arriving at Harrenhal.

How long did that take, exactly? In between Littlefinger’s last scene in last week’s episode, the following happened: Tyrion discussed Renly’s death with Cersei (they’d gotten the raven by that time, obviously); Stannis took over Renly’s army; Tyrion arranged for his personal monopoly of wildfire; Theon sailed from Pyke for Torrhen Square and took it; Arya established herself as Tywin’s cupbearer and notched her first wish-kill; Bran sent Rodrik with men to retake Torrhen Square; the Fist of the First Men was reached by the Night’s Watch; Daenerys established herself comfortably in Qarth; Theon took Winterfell.

Only after all that does Littlefinger arrive at Harrenhal. The length of a one-hour episode, sure, but how long, really? Could have been half a bloody year. Christ, he could have taken a pleasure cruise there.

(And how the hell else do you account for the kids growing up so fast? Time’s a-passing, folks!)

You’ve been schooled. Leave your homework on my desk before you go. I’ll be making like my 9th grade algebra teacher and sneaking a sip from my flask before next period.

Meanwhile, Jon Snow has an interesting encounter…

@dieslaughing: REDHEAD WILDLING GODDESS ALERT!

‏@SCHirst: YGRITTE!!!

@AlehAutumn: YGRITTE! My precious Ygritte!

@HeyJacquiDey: YGRITTE!!!! #YouKnowNothingJonSnow….yet.

@sensatlandsend: Oh hey, Ygritte is that maid who became a secretary on Downton Abbey.

Rose Leslie somehow managed to be on two of the best shows on television. Iain Glen too! Note to aspiring actors: hire their agents!

@zbarry1015: ygrette isn’t as bad as i pictured her when reading haha

Bro, Rose Leslie isn’t even “Hollywood Ugly.” She’s frakking gorgeous.

@kimmiefield: #GameOfThrones Yes, Jon, why don’t you “question” her?

@JonShepherd3: Strike hard and true, Jon Snow, or I will come back and haunt you.

@tehbootyshorts: #GameofThrones :v She never cried in the book. She took it like a man.

She didn’t cry here either! Ygritte puts the “ass” into “badass.”

Uh, in a … good … non-sexist sort of … way.

(That one could get me in trouble.)

@Lucid_Dragon: I hope Jons sword is sharper than Theons. O_O

@thronecast: Okay – I know I’m harping on this, but Ser Rodrik trained John Snow as well! How do we know he didn’t swing wide by accident there?!

@FYWinterfell: Jon and Ygritte are already having the eye sex as you can see…

@MercifulMalacai: Annnd she’s off!

@inkasrain: Run, Ygritte, run!

@Iamrengorgeous: Snow u didn’t listen! Kill her!

@1CurlyHairDiva: Oh Jon kill the bitch!!!

@DanyTheUnburnt: KILL HER, JON, KILL HER! YOU ARE MEANT FOR ME! #iceandfire

@AKA_Qthulhu: Running scene reminds me of Sir Lancelot in Python’s Holy Grail.

I wasn’t the only one who thought that?! A lot of the same scenery flashing by. Sure, it was different scenery. But it kind of looked the same!

Beautiful though.

@thronecast: I half keep expecting an AT-AT to walk by in the background. Ygritte even looks a little like Skywalker before he slipped into a Tauntaun

Ygritte did not look like Skyw—oh, yeah, she sort of did.

So Myrcella left on her own pleasure cruise, headed for stony, salty, sandy Dorne, there to be betrothed to the heir of Sunspear. Aimee Richardson shed some nicely appropriate tears for the scene… and probably for real, since we may not see much of her until we head to Dorne…

…sometime in the middle of book 4, aka season 5-ish.

We think. Not sure! Would love to see some pre-AFfC Dorne! Don’t lose hope, Aims!

@HighbornGrace: Try not to cry for me too much, Tommen.

Such a sweet prince and princest. Next casting call: Tommen’s kitten, Ser Pounce!

@MantisToboggan5: Time for King Joffrey to teach the young young ones on how to be a playa.

@edgarapoerules: And the Oscar for best scowl goes to…..Peter Dinklage.

Emmy. Technically.

And then the shit hit the proverbial shit. And it was well-aimed!

@KingAmon24: Was that a shit bomb!?! LOL!

@god_given_name: Yes to whoever threw that shit at Jofferey

@BeautyNUniq: I call this the Shit Hits the Fan episode

@reinalovegood: SHIT IS GOIN THE FUCK DOWN.

Joffers, never one to back down from a fight, bravely ordered the deaths of everybody as he was whisked away by the white-cloaked Secret Service agents. Luckily for Joff, these guards weren’t ordering prostitutes.

@HoodavilleBoney: This dude Joffery need to be offed

@cocolicious46: When is Joffrey gonna get bodied??? DAMN!!

Oh, and then the High Septon looked like he did a stage dive right into the—oh, ew.

@russiankoolaid: THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE

@Vamp_Vixxen: #gameofthrones just went all #thewalkingdead !!!

@HEELSherrod: Oh damn, they ate Dom Deluise!!!!

Heh. “They ate Dom Deluise.” HEEEEEEL.

So by this time, Joffrey was basically just asking for it. And he got it!

@kwanzaagecko: WHOOP THERE IT IS! #JofferySlap

@thronecast: BOOM! People cheer in my flat when Joffrey gets slapped like people cheer for goals in more football-minded flats.

@DouglasCrisp: Things escalated there quickly. Tyrion as always the voice of reason. They are the 1%. #gameofthrones #occupykingslanding

Speaking of things escalating, we join Sansa, who is being addressed by some of her future subjects.

…

Ahmmm… we join Sansa, who is being undressed by some of her future subjects!

@DeviDev: Quote of the night… “Have you ever been f*cked little girl”

@Jmh919: Sansa’s having a rough season

@TXBobbumman: Goddamn, props to the kid actors in #GameofThrones. They get put in some hard ass scenes

@funkyisha: childhood ruined D:

@burjz: Ughhh, Sansa. Ugh. You poor, poor thing. Constantly being shit on.

So Twitter was spiking pretty hard while Sansa was being tossed about like a rag-doll. And then it basically spiked to Insane. Good bye Twitter. Hello re-start computer.

@JoeBuffaloWins: The hound!!!!

@Kifty1n: AHHHHHHHHHHHHSANDORSANDORSANDORyesyesyes

@karltmeakin: SANDOR CLEGANE: WAR ZONE.

@MercifulMalacai: The Hound is takin a bite outta crime

@cocolicious46: The Hound be killing the SHYT outta bammas!!

@CMR365: I think the Hound just field dressed somebody

@truebloodandtv: Sandor Clegane is such a boss

@mycropht: Yes! The Hound Represent!!!! Rory McCann FTW

@jpglion: Well done, Hound.

So I got back on and the scroll was at a quasi-managable 140 entries per refresh.

Oh, then dude spoke.

@JalinMarieC: “You’re alright now little bird, you’re alright”

And there went my screen again.

@juiimanji: SANSAN. IT IS TV!CANON.

@siriuslyserious: “@GameOfRos: Ros is a SanSan fan. #GameOfThrones” I think I’m becoming one too

@Wee_Birdie: Oh my *fans self*

@LeahMaycock: I do like The Hound. A tortured soul but maybe a good heart?

@LynchLyfe: Awww I think he loves her.

@Wee_Birdie: Totally worth the wait. I may have melted into a small puddle…

@lucia_g89: Omg that sansa scene. I’m still shaking

@Kiftyln: oh my god how can a burned man be so smexy idk

@suleikhasnyder: I love that Tyrion and the Hound have such care for Sansa. Aw. #yeahishipit

@Paco_ICEandFIRE: HE DID IT FOR LOVE, TYRION! HE DIDNT SAVE SANSA FOR YOU!!!!

The San/San tweets were still off the charts by the time shit calmed down. There was a brief scene between Sansa and Shae…

@jmnzl: Shae is being useful?! What.

No one cared. Most of the people were still spazzing out over San/San.

And that was it, I think!

So Jon and Ygritte are now wandering the frozen tundra, and it looks nothing like Lambeau Field…

@ferglius: Jon and his bondage girlfriend. This show took a strange turn.

@scooterbeanbag: Snow and the Ginger need to have hate sex.

@HEELSherrod: “We’ll stay warmer if we stay close.” Jon Snow…I need you to put on some Luthor Vandross and snuggle up to Ygritte…thanks

@lit_and_lace: “Bet you’ll freeze to death before I do.” I love Ygritte.

@MomOfKai: Jon Snow has a thing for redheads. SCORE for all redheads.

@YaraGreyjoy: A Stark always pays his debts.

@dieslaughing: This storyline is already gifting with epic Jon facial expressions. EPIC.

Then came the Snuggle Heard ‘Round the World:

@wandarful: Oh god. Rob Snow trying to get some. Punk.

@AMCatastrophe: Most awkward spooning ever!

@AKA_Qthulhu: Give it a rub to warm it up first, Snow.

@thronecast: I’m pretty sure Jon Snow is getting the most awkward horizontal sub-zero lap dance of all time right now.

@siriuslyserious: “@GameOfRos: Use that sword, Jon. Give it to her. #GameOfThrones” he doesn’t know where to put it

@Paco_ICEandFIRE: LMAO @ YGRITTES SMILE WHEN JON PUT HIS ARM AROUND HER. #ICWHATURDOINGTHURR

@des02_: Jon catching a feeling!

@omh_itsbelle: #GAMEOFTHRONES LOL THAT AWKWARD HUG.

@lugia222: Is Jon so miserable because he ran out of conditioner?

@NiceQueenCersei: Oh Jon. You can awkward cuddle me any time.

@hereliesdobby: Is it possible that jon snow looks even hotter?

@HarlemFaith: John, please don’t tell me you kept her alive so you can spoon with her…

@stephkornblum: lol she’s grinding on him

@MikeRosenzweig: Jon does know the move The Lord’s Spoon.

Mike with a bit of foreshadowing there…

Speaking of foreshadowing, we join King Robb at his camp. He flirts gamely with Talisa, and she flirts back…

@nikki_mariee: Mmmm that Robb Stark is a hot piece of ass.

@AdumbralSprite: I would bow down to Robb Stark. *.*

@FieryAdoIescent: I would bend over for Robb Stark..

@Paco_ICEandFIRE: ID GO STRAIGHT FOR OONA… NOT REALLY BUT DAMN… SHES GORGEOUS. I JUST WANNA STARE AT HER.

@heyjulieann: JOIN HIM IN HIS TENT. WITH YOUR DRESS OFF.

@inkasrain: Legit, I am not usually the deepest of purists. But I DO NOT LIKE THIS CHICK. #TalisaWho

Talisa Maegisomethingsomething. I like ‘er.

And it would have worked too, if it weren’t for that nosy mom…!

@whysoscirrhous: Robb just got cockblocked by his mom

@ReallyAlly: Catelyn Stark: cock-blocking since the beginning of time.

That happened.

So did this:

@AKA_Qthulhu: News from Winterfell! Unfortunately it’s completely illegible!

@SueThePirate: Roose’s bastard is in the picture. YESSSSS

Reek, Reek, rhymes with… next week?

Guess we’ll see!

Until that time we have Natalia Tena to entertain us with—hel-LO!

@ZedShowgirl: That’s right appeal to Theon’s dick.

@fridarome: Tonks’ Titties… at last.

@Dr_Straker: Just when I was afraid I wasn’t going to see some boobies…boobies!

It wasn’t just boobies, people! This was a full-on nude scene. Have some respect.

@TVDoneWright: #GameofThrones lesson: Men are weak to boobs…..and spooning

@TitanConBelfast: Osha replaces Kyra. But I saw that change coming a mile off

@AKA_Qthulhu: Oh my word

@thronecast: WHOA. Uh… if the next few tweets seem like they’re timed wrong, it’s because I need to rewind something. I missed… er, some dialogue…

@AKA_Qthulhu: Oooo IT job on Stornoway, hmmmmm #UncomfortableSubjectChange

@knownaserin: Tonks, I’m not supposed to see you naked.

@MikeRosenzweig: Oooooooo Tonk’s tonks heh.

@theescortlover: Nice rack on Osha.

@Nat_Daddy01: Savage titties

@cacajuice: Omg Tonks why!!!!

@mazcast: God…Theon screws anything that walks

Thank god Bran doesn’t—

Too much? Okay. Okay.

Back at Harrenhal, Ser Amory Lorch (and I know that only because Arya finally called him by name—blasted Lannister helmets!) was being berated by Tywin for being Ser Amory Lorch.

@HBObiter: I wish my knowing how to read was a big deal.

@YgrittetheWild: “You’re a sharp little thing, aren’t you?” -Tywin Lannister #SharpAsANeedle

@cocolicious46: Jamie is dyslexic….HA

@Paco_ICEandFIRE: SO JAMIES DYSLEXIC? MAYBE THAT WILL HELP HIM… LATER ON #FORESHADOWINGLIKEABOSS

I don’t get it. Anyone?

@KingAmon24: I love Ayra and that name!

@HarlemFaith: Lawd, this lil girl is going to be the death of me. She does TOO damn much.

@Dai_Kitty: Lol at jaqen being all annoyed

@amanda_aldous: Arya Stark is one quick and clever thinker. Go girl!

@akpierce: JAQEN/Arya TYWIN/ARYA GENDRY/ARYA OMG I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT ARYA IN HARRENHALL. #iDONOTmeanships

Jaqen got his usual number of massive tweets sent his way:

@heyjulieann: A MAN CAN GET IT.

@danbendlin: Jaqen H’gar is probly my favorite character of the season so far

@SCHirst: Oh fuck yeah! Just falling through the door like that. A man is skilled at delivering death. Oh yes he is.

Annnnnnnd… THUD.

@Tiggy4Real: that’s some power . . . dude walks in a room and is immediately dead

@essayarray: I have never laughed harder at people dying

@TitanConBelfast: I had my money on Polliver for Arya’s second wish, but killing Amory Lorch like that was pretty awesome

@Tahrialah: Quite a few deaths in this GoT episode, but that one was the funniest.

@TitanConBelfast: A kinder death than being ripped apart by a bear though…

@politicsismybf: I’m calling BEARPITGATE.

I’m pretty confident that, by the time the Bear Pit does come around to making its cameo (assuming it ever does), we’ll have found a suitable candidate for it.

So Osha rises from Theon’s bed, all feral raccoon-like…

We sort of hope she will just cut his throat. With what, though? She’s naked. And clearly his sword isn’t sharp enough to cut cream.

That’s what grayshirts and their loosely-sheathed daggers are for! (Great scene. Tena is boss.)

@Filippetti: Osha the Iron Island Slayer

So Osha leads Bran, Rickon, and Hodor (accompanied by their two wolves), out of Winterfell and into the wilderness. Don’t they know winter is coming?

@AKA_Qthulhu: …and from here on out it’s all downhill for @KristianNairn’s back.

That’s so wrong. And yet so right.

Speaking of righting wrongs, we join Barbie Dany in Qarth…

@iAmChocolateMan: Daenerys, can I just take you on a date? Like I wouldn’t even try to sleep with you, I just want you to be in my presence.

@m_spad: If I were that Spice King I would GROVEL at that girl #Danybemine

@reginathorn: I like the Spice King. He’s a grammar pedant too :D Hee!

@beximilian: THIS IS MY FAVORITE DANY SCENE SHE IS SO DELUSIONAL #flop #lol

@GameOfRos: I will take what is mine with boobs and … more boobs.

If only we could have stayed on happy subjects, like boobs. No. Dany returns from her audience with the Spice King, to find—

@condelove: They stole the dragons!!!!!!!!!!

@miketation: THEY DONE STOLE HER DRAGONS

Worse was the body of Irri lying on the floor…

@PrudenceWaters: Noooo they killed dany’s gf! Fuck my life!

@juiimanji: DUDE DUDE DUDE NO WTF HBO

@Kifty1n: bummed about irri tbh, im confident theyll get the dragons back anyway

@MercifulMalaca: Irri nooooo wait what killed her???

@SB_Co: Backtrack. Where those Dalthraki lying dead in the courtyard? If so, did ONE person manage to kill all them?

@mrsbbouch: Ugh why did someone take the dragons?! You know that shit doesn’t happen in the book!

@JillianARosen: Who just steals someone’s dragons? #GameofThrones Get your own dragons!

Yeah! Get your own dragons!

And so the episode ended. Reactions were varied—though most of the tweeting viewers were excited in some way, shape or form. The scroll just kept scrolling. Twas abuzz!

@tnsmileychick: Finally took a breath! Damn that was good!!

@BellaKarma: #TheOldGodsAndTheNew was the BEST EPISODE of ANY television show EVER!! The word EPIC was meant for an episode such as this!

@h2theannah: I love what they’re doing with Arya’s story. This show is perfection.

@LoveAnthem: Well I guess they had to make Dany’s story interesting with this season.

@danwardell: Long live Maester Luwin, Ygritte, The Hound, and Arya Stark. What an incredible Game of Thrones tonight!

@rosenbenjamin55: #GameOfThrones is too sick

@OccupyWesteros: Robb Cockblock: Lady Stark. Jon Cockblock: Jon.

@motelsonthemoon: Next week more SanSan. I’m stoked.

@AlfieBCC: I can’t wait until Joffery kills Jon Snow in the next episode of #GameofThrones

Hey, you never know.

Only four more weeks of Twitter recaps to go! I’m a little bummed.

See you next week, Twitards!

Spoiler Note: This essay contains some backstory elements that have not yet been addressed on the show but are covered in the books.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue: A Second Look at Game of Thrones 2.06

by Pearson Moore

Some god old,
Some god new,
Some god borrowed,
Some god blue.

A boy, a girl, and the desire that binds them. These are the only necessary elements in any good romance. The single thing keeping lovers apart is their misunderstanding of each other. Roxanne doesn’t know of Cyrano’s love because he believes his nose repulses her, but love is not a function of physical beauty, and with his dying breath Roxanne discovers Cyrano’s deep and enduring affection. Love conquers all, they say, and even someone with as large a nose as Cyrano de Bergerac’s can discover enchantments of the heart.

Would that this were so. Romeo and Juliet’s love is not pure or true, and never will be. Neither the House of Montague nor the House of Capulet is to blame for two deaths in a crypt. If we believe the Bard wishes us to understand that the two houses share in the blame we are missing the point of this greatest of tragedies.

Three people, not two, are required at every wedding. Tonight we saw couplings strange and awkward, lusty and chivalrous, borrowed and blue. But every one of these couples looked up, sometimes as if startled, to see the third person standing in their midst.

Something Borrowed

“I’ve taken your castle. I’ve taken Winterfell. I took it. I’m occupying it. I sent men over the walls with grappling claws and …”

If not for Bran’s interruption, Theon would probably still be droning on about having taken the Stark castle. (“I stormed your castle, I triumphed over your guards, I own Winterfell, the castle belongs to me now, I own this land by right of conquest, Winterfell is mine, really, I took it, my men took it at my command, everything here is mine and …”)

The reason for Theon’s strange monologue should have been clear to us from the beginning, but the underlying cause became evident in subsequent scenes. Theon Greyjoy, we realised, was not responsible for the victory at Winterfell. That distinction belonged entirely to his capable lieutenant, Dagmer Cleftjaw. Theon borrowed from Cleftjaw the command to attack Winterfell, as we saw in earlier episodes.

When Ser Rodrik spit in Theon’s face, Cleftjaw informed Theon of the command he would have to give. “He must pay the iron price,” Cleftjaw said. Of course. Theon had half a mind to put Rodrik in shackles, but the problem with Theon is not drive or ambition, it’s the fact that he is not whole, that in fact he applies half a mind or less to the problems he confronts, and he is obliged to rely on those with fully expressed personalities to make decisions for him. He capitulates on every half-baked command or scheme his rudderless mind devises.

Theon acquiesces to Cleftjaw’s logic that nothing short of Rodrik’s death will re-establish the Iron Islander’s respect for him after Rodrik’s impudent challenge to Theon’s authority. Anything that anyone says that might be interpreted as casting doubt on any masculine quality Theon wishes to project will be interpreted in precisely that way. So it is that when Cleftjaw is ready to swing the blade to sever Rodrik’s head, for instance, Ser Rodrik reframes Theon’s authority in northern terms: “He who passes sentence should swing the sword, coward.” Theon understands this proclamation as a challenge, and he borrows Rodrik’s command, pushing Cleftjaw away and drawing his own sword.

The butchery that follows is not so much a result of Theon’s inability to maintain control as his inability to project a consistent message from a position of stability. He is unable to control not because he has some innate disability but because he lacks identity. He is neither Stark nor Greyjoy, neither leader nor follower, he bows neither to old gods nor to new. He is neither studied nor self-made. He is nothing, an empty shell, who must therefore yield to others’ commands and absorb them, borrow them, pretend they are his creations.

Osha came to Theon, not at his bidding, but at her insistence. “There are other ways to serve, my Lord,” she told him. “We know things, we free people. Other things. Savage things.”

The entire evening conformed to the plan she developed. As with every other situation calling for a decision or command from Theon, he allowed others—this time Osha—to make the commands for him. He merely borrowed them as his own:

“It comes at a price.”
“What do you want, then, other than your miserable life?”
“What all free people want: my freedom.”
“Well you shall have it then.”

He is not capable of his own decisions, even when it comes to something as simple as whether or not to sleep with someone. He knows only his desires. He suffers the illusion that when he dismisses the guard he is alone in the room with the woman he happens to desire at that moment. A third person occupies the room, though, whether he understands this or not. But without identity, he is not only incapable of rendering decisions, he is incapable of seeing. Blind to the third person, he plucks desired fruit from a tree he believes was planted for his pleasure.

Theon searched for ways to tell Bran that the castle was his not because he had taken it, but because he hadn’t. The castle doesn’t belong to Theon. He borrowed it.

Tonight’s episode was breathtaking. Plotting was fast, tight, and even. Every moment that might have been offered as a single-dimensional exposition of facts was instead masterfully converted into a multi-faceted feast of high drama. The most important scene came near the end, when Ygritte and Jon were alone, and she began grinding her hips, calling to Jon with the most ancient of temptations. They were not alone, though, and this time they both knew it. Nor was the grinding of hips an ancient temptation. Rather, it was a cultural statement, a matter open to discussion. Three people attended this meeting on the tundra. Tonight we will listen to what they said.

Something Blue

Her dress may be blue, but in discussing the “something blue” between King Robb and Lady Talisa Maegyr I am not thinking of her wardrobe choices.

“Lady Talisa.”
“I’m not sure I’m a lady; Westerosi customs are a still a bit foreign to me.”
“… A woman of noble birth is always called a lady.”
“Why are you so sure I am of noble birth?”
“Because it’s obvious.”

She wears royal blue—the bleu royal of the French tricolore—not outside, but inside, where it becomes obvious. It is the colour Robb Stark should be able to see. Not the red colour of ordinary nobility, but the blue of highest nobility. He is, after all, a king, and kings perceive and understand truths that evade ordinary mortals.
GRRM is calling Robb to the blue, but the young wolf is missing the mark in this scene. Someone like Theon Greyjoy will never be truly noble, because he cannot even see the colours of his own heart, let alone the colours inside another’s heart. Robb sees the royal blue inside Talisa, but a king is called to something more important than the mere ability to perceive. He must be able to wear the blue, it must fit him perfectly, if he is truly king.

Perhaps sometime this season we will hear tell of a “blue-eyed king” who casts no shadow but carries a red sword. We might imagine words such as these formed by Melisandre’s lips, for instance, but probably because of that “red sword”. What of the blue eyes?

Many characters have blue eyes, of course, but Stannis’ eyes, at least in the HBO adaptation, are more hazel than they are blue. Or does he wear royal blue inside, as Talisa does?

Blue is not ordinary, but in a sense exalted, especially in the world built by GRRM. We can look to the backstory of ASoIaF to understand something of the importance of the colour. This information has not yet been made a part of Game of Thrones, and perhaps it will never be incorporated into the story. But the idea of blue as sign of something extraordinary will help in building the case I am attempting to make in this essay, so I am going to spend a few paragraphs discussing its importance.

Probably most fans of the novels would say that the part of the backstory most relevant to current events concerns Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. We learned a little of the story with Robert Baratheon and Ned Stark, in the Winterfell crypt at Lyanna’s statue. It was Rhaegar’s abduction of Lyanna, and her subsequent death at the hands of the Targaryens, that drove Robert into such a state of fury that he raised armies, killed Rhaegar with his own hands, destroyed the entire Targaryen family, and took the Iron Throne.

The backstory really began at a tournament called by King Aerys. Prince Rhaegar was expected to deliver into the hands of the prettiest girl at the tournament a garland of blue winter roses.

Wearing the black and red armour of House Targaryen, his breastplate encrusted with rubies, everyone expected Rhaegar to present the garland of blue winter roses to his wife, Elia Martell. Instead, he rode past the Targaryen stand without even giving his wife a glance. He stopped at the Stark seats, where he presented Lyanna Stark, Ned ’s young sister, with the blue wreath that designated her “queen of love and beauty” at the tournament.
This single incident, relayed in a sparing handful of short vignettes throughout the first novel of the series, carries enormous significance to fans of the novels. I doubt that my way of looking at those roses is in any way unique, but I will say that despite a couple dozen hours of research on this scene I have yet to read a single interpretation that comes close to the spin I’m about to put on the event.

I see the blue colour of the roses, the blue of Lyanna’s dress, and the blue blood of kings and queens in ASoIaF not as something exalted in the sense of being elevated above other things, but in the sense of being outside of, greater than, or foundational of lesser things. The distinction, I believe, is essential to the fullest understanding of ASoIaF and Game of Thrones.

We have already made the acquaintance of a blue-eyed man carrying a sword. In fact, we’ve seen him twice so far in GoT, north of the Wall on both occasions.

I don’t feel the blue eyes of White Walkers are coincidental, accidental, or arbitrary. I think the colour was chosen quite intentionally, and I believe the significance is the same as the meaning contained in the blue winter roses that Rhaegar presented to his beloved Lyanna.

I believe the significance George Martin wishes to attach to the colour blue is not the idea of exaltation or royalty necessarily, but an idea that, at least in Game of Thrones, transcends even royalty: Blue is a revelation of that which is primal. Blue is that which is at the periphery of the story, because it is foundational and not something to which we are normally allowed access. The colour appears most forcefully in the backstory—at the Tournament of Harrenhal, inside the Tower of Joy—because this is the foundation of the present story. The colour makes split-second appearances north of the Wall because the White Walkers (“Others” in the novels) somehow express another necessary primal aspect of the greater story.

When I hear of a blue-eyed man carrying a sword, then, I don’t first think of Stannis and his flaming sword and Melisandre’s proclamation that Stannis is the divine messiah, Azor Ahai, sent by the Red God himself. The first image I see on hearing these words is an apparition that goes beyond anything I can relate to past experience, and yet seems necessary to the story—in other words, the imagery is primal.

If Robb Stark is truly king he will of course be able to discern the truth of Talisa Maegyr’s nobility, “because it’s obvious.” Yes. But he must be able to move beyond that, to discern that which is necessarily primal. That’s always the objective in Game of Thrones, and those who play without catching sight of the necessary and the primal will never have a chance of winning the game.

So, the questions King Robb really should be asking centre on the true nature of Talisa. Who is she, really? Why is she here? How can this particular person help Robb become a better king?

Catelyn knows immediately, even without hearing any of the woman’s history, that Robb has lost focus, he is not posing the proper questions.

“I’ve missed you,” Robb said to his mother.
“Yes, you look positively forlorn.” [She didn’t even attempt to hide the sarcasm!]
“You surprised me, that’s all. I’m glad I could see you today.”
“I wish that you were free to follow your heart.”
“I know.”
“You’ve inherited your father’s responsibilities. I’m afraid they come at a cost. You are promised to another—a debt that must be paid.”
“I haven’t forgotten.”

I have said a few times that a third person is present in each situation involving would-be lovers. Based on Catelyn’s words of wisdom to her son, we might understand her to mean that Walder Frey was the third party whose needs had to be considered—he was the third person. After all, Robb had promised to marry one of Lord Walder’s daughters in exchange for the use of his bridge. But I don’t think Walder Frey is the third person in this case. If we wish to understand the danger of Robb’s amorous overtures toward Lady Talisa, we should consider the case of Joffrey Baratheon and his impending union with Sansa Stark.

Something New

Ah, the happy couple. The young lovebirds.

We know this marriage will never be. We know Sansa is tolerated at court only to the extent that she serves as reciprocal payment for the life of Ser Jaime Lannister, currently enduring the rain and cruel elements every evening in the cell just outside King Robb’s tent. But even if she were not Ser Jaime’s ransom, even if she could become Joffrey’s wife, we know they could never be happy. Joffrey is a jerk, of course. But why is he a jerk?

He is not noble, one might say. He can’t be noble because “he’s a bastard,” as one of his subjects yelled during the courtyard riot scene. But we ought to recognise immediately the faulty nature of this assessment. Much of the story so far has focussed on the necessary and exalted nature—the primal nature, if you will—of cripples, bastards, and broken things. Jon Snow has a noble heart and noble bearing despite (or maybe because of) his identity as a bastard. Tyrion Lannister is a bastard because “all dwarfs are bastards in their fathers’ eyes,” yet Tyrion has a noble heart and noble bearing, too.

We understand the need to refine the connection between the primal and the broken, though. Viserys Targaryen, Daenerys’ older brother, was a cruel and selfish jerk much in the mold of Joffrey Baratheon, yet he was in many ways a member of the Sisterhood of the Damned, as Daenerys was. What set these two boys apart? Why did they not claim full membership in the humble association of cripples, bastards, and broken things? Why must Joffrey receive his humility in the form of accurately aimed horse apples?

[Tyrion said the facial wound to Joffrey’s pride was inflicted by a cow pie. I hate to differ with someone as well educated at Lord Tyrion Lannister, but the object that hit King Joffrey was not a cow pie. It may have been a horse apple—a very fresh horse apple—but it definitely was not a cow pie!]

I believe the problem is simply that Joffrey and Viserys did not wish to acknowledge their humble nature. Viserys insisted on a golden crown, and he got it. Joffrey insists on being above other people, and I have to believe his vision of himself will likewise be given full expression by those around him. The courtyard riot was a definite sign of the people’s true feelings toward their king, and if they have their way, his head will surely end up adorning the end of a pike; he will, in the end, find himself elevated above other people.

The problem began three generations ago, as we learned this evening. Tytos Lannister, Tywin’s father, “was good, but weak. He nearly destroyed the Lannister house and name. He loved us.” But love, in Tywin’s estimation, was not enough. Rather than loving his children, then, Tywin taught them strength. Be strong, keep House Lannister strong, he taught them. Cersei and Jaime did as they were told, and when their father wasn’t looking they sought love between themselves. The result of that twisted love and focus on keeping the house strong was the two-legged monster currently occupying the Iron Throne.

I don’t believe Joffrey’s inability to become intimate is a result of any lack of love. The problem is an inability to recognise his humble state. All human beings share the ability to see themselves as dependent, contingent creatures, but much of this ability was removed from Joffrey at an early age, with daily instruction in bending others’ desires, needs, and even perceptions to whatever whim he conceived at that moment. In Episode 1.03, for example, Cersei taught Joffrey to see reality creatively:

Cersei: You killed the beast. You only spared the girl because of the love your father bears her father.
Joffrey: I didn’t.
Cersei: When Aerys Targaryen sat on the Iron Throne your father was a rebel and a traitor. Someday you’ll sit on the throne and the truth will be what you make it.

That is, Joffrey could tell the world that he had killed Arya’s direwolf because as the king’s son he was entitled to make history conform to his vision. Robert Baratheon was the same man before and after the fall of Aerys Targaryen. Before the fall, Robert was traitor. After the fall, Robert was king. Truth is a matter of royal decree. Joffrey had only to conform to the superficial expectations of his people.

Joffrey: Do I have to marry her?
Cersei: Yes. She’s very beautiful, and young. And if you don’t like her you only need to see her on formal occasions.

Joffrey heard fifteen years of this kind of talk from his mother, every day, whenever they shared time together. Not only would Joffrey never have a sense of himself as an ordinary, humble person, he would not even enjoy the privilege of understanding what reality was. The only reality he need ever concern himself with was whatever fantasy world he wished to construct for himself.

The characteristic shared in common among the wretched members of the Sisterhood of the Damned is that they not only have a keen sense of harsh reality, they have at least fleeting insight into the profound underpinnings of life. By his upbringing, Joffrey will be forever ignorant of these insights. Viserys missed out on these insights, too, though in this case his pride seems to have been the primary cause of his blindness.

Something Promised

There are always three people at any valid wedding. This is true regardless of the religious tradition to which one adheres. It is true in every culture, in every place, in every time. Even if you skip over the religious mumbo-jumbo and just go to the courthouse, fill out a form, and pay a fee (Presto! You’re married!), you’re still appearing before a third person.

In the tradition I try to maintain in my life, the bride and groom are called the ministers of the sacrament. They are the “active principles” of the wedding ceremony. The guy standing between them—a priest or deacon in my faith tradition—is not the presider. He does not officiate. All he does is read the prayers, ask questions, and ensure some adherence to ritual. He does have one other very important function, though.

One can be validly married in many religious traditions without any formal ritual at all. People have been officially and validly married over the phone. If this is true, why must that third person be there at all? Even if some formal ritual were required, couldn’t the bride and groom learn the ritual and then carry it out themselves? Why invite some guy with a bad haircut to stand between the two lovers and read from some old book?

The key statement the guy with the bad haircut gets to make is this:

“If anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

The idea is that marriage is not free. There are valid reasons why two people should not be wed. The two people deciding to spend their lives together as one must pay a minimum price. They owe the community, represented by the priest or deacon or justice of the peace, a commitment. They must demonstrate responsibility toward the greater community. This responsibility can be understood in terms of service, but for the purposes of this essay I’m going to frame the idea as humility. Marriage is not a means of setting apart, but a means of embedding into the greater community. It is an acknowledgement of contingency, humility, dependence on other human beings. The guy with the bad haircut is there, most of all, to ensure that the couple understand they are not alone, that they are supported, and that the community expects certain things of them, too. The bride and groom make promises to each other, but they make a promise to the community, too.

In the context of GoT, the idea of humility is transformed into the notion of awareness. A union might be valid without deep awareness of the primal nature of life, but the most effective unions will be based on this profound insight into the ways of the world.

Something Primal

I have to confess to a bit of foolishness. I am from northern lands similar to those Jon Snow grew up in, but for several decades I have chosen to take my vacations in the very far north, in darkest winter, in a tent. I have pedaled my bicycle through fifteen centimetres of fresh fallen snow in the wilderness of Northwestern Ontario. I have ventured onto the thick ice of Great Slave Lake in Northwest Territories, and meandered farther north. I have pitched my nylon hovel on the treeless tundra and endured gales I was sure would rip my tent to shreds. I spent an especially brutal night inside a double sleeping bag rated to -40 degrees, and could not sleep through the cold.

I felt a kinship tonight with Qhorin Halfhand when he lectured Jon on the trail of Mance Rayder’s scouts. I feel on some of those cold, northern nights, struggling to keep my blood pumping under conditions close to the limits of human survival, I might have gained a glimpse into some of Halfhand’s trials.

“You can’t tame a wild thing,” Halfhand said. “Can’t trust a wild thing. Wild creatures have their own rules, their own reasons, and you’ll never know them. Start thinking you know this place and it will kill you. We’re at war. We’ve always been at war. It’s never going to end, because we’re not fighting an enemy—we’re fighting the north, and it’s not going anywhere.”

That is, Jon is joining a battle against a condition (the north), not an enemy. The north is not an enemy, but a nasty condition, a brutal environment to be endured. But the north is full of creatures—wild things—that are a kind of animated version of the primal brutality of the elements. When you pitch your tent north of treeline, you have a good bag, plenty of fuel for your stove, and plenty of bullets for your rifle. You set little cans and strings around your tent, because you need time to get that rifle out and shoot the polar bear before she makes a meal of you.

Primal reality is not an enemy. It’s just reality. It’s the deepest reality there is. When I see the White Walkers, I’m guessing I look at them in a way that is probably different than the way most people see them. To me, they’re kind of like those polar bears. Polar bears are not inherently evil. There’s nothing evil about a polar bear wanting to eat me for dinner. That’s just the way she is, the way she was built. It’s the way of life and death and survival in the very far north.

I have a keen sense, then, of this idea that Jon Snow is fighting a condition of which “wild things” are merely an animated manifestation. “Start thinking you know this place and it will kill you.” If you do some of the things I’ve done you need to cultivate an attitude of vigilant respect for the extreme possibilities of the environment. If you lose that respect, you’ll probably die.

Why fight it?

I think this is the question Jon Snow posed tonight. There are several possible responses. It’s hard to imagine camping on the tundra without a rifle. You just can’t walk up to a polar bear and work out a peace treaty. She might be amused for a few seconds, but she’s still going to eat you for dinner. Reality is what it is. You can’t spin it as Joffrey’s mother taught him.

But there is a certain sense in which Jon’s question has enormous merit. The wildlings are not fighting the north, not in the same way that the men of the Night’s Watch fight. And if you give some thought to the question, you realise it can be seen in the light of common knowledge. We all understand the truth that we can die at any moment. The heart can stop, the brain can suffer an embolism, you can fall in the shower or get hit by a car. Life can end without warning, or it can be the final result of years of unrelenting, inhuman suffering. The reality undergirding all this is that cruel, primal nature surrounds us at all times, not only in environments akin to those north of the Wall.

The question is worth exploring. I believe Jon first posed the question when he raised Longclaw over Ygritte’s neck—and brought the blade down onto the rock in front of her.

Something Old

She moved her hips to and fro. The movement was obvious, instinctual, tantalising. But it was the most meaningful event we witnessed this evening.

The movement was not intended to seduce or tease. That was not its purpose, and that is not the way Jon understood it. When Ygritte moved her hips she was inviting Jon, but she was merely continuing the dialogue he had initiated when he chose to spare her life. She was inviting him into conversation. She was making a playful statement of the truth that had first attracted Jon and caused him to put the question.

Why fight it?

The wildlings did not fight. They went with the flow of life and death and survival, they didn’t put themselves in opposition to it. Could it be that the Free People have knowledge of “savage things” that has eluded the “civilised” people south of the Wall? What did they understand about the North that Jon did not?

The wildling culture, we already know, could be considered in many ways superior to the society built by the Night’s Watch. Halfhand disparaged the wildlings as “girl f—ers”, but these words were definitely sour grapes, especially coming from the man who laughed at his own pearls of wisdom as “Just words … to keep us a little warmer in the night … make us feel like we got a purpose.” Wildlings existed comfortably at the very frontiers of human survival. With cold and dark forces surrounding them, they lived on. How could they exist in easy harmony with such forces? Clearly they were not fighting, but they were as human as Jon and therefore subject to the same undesirable outcomes that are the necessary result of losing deep-felt respect for the harsh north.

More than mere humanity and susceptibility to nature unite Jon and Ygritte. The wildlings, we know from Osha, worship the same gods. The Old Gods. That’s the “something old” these people from very different cultures share.

I know Jon felt temptation, and perhaps he will at some point yield to the thoughts that surely filled his mind as soon as Ygritte began her hip gyrations. But the greater questions will continue to fill his mind, and will not be satisfied by any sexual act.

Here, on a rock slab protected from the wind by a wall of stone, is the beginnings of an answer to Jon Snow’s question. “We’ll stay warmer if we stay close.” It’s a statement of basic human necessity. In the south, where people can live by pretense and dreams, societies can pretend there are heroes and self-made men, that one can live in solitude. In the far north men in solitude will not live, but die.

There is only one god, Syrio Forel said. Here, on the tundra, it would be tempting indeed to believe Syrio was correct, that the one true god is death. But the true god is not death, not the God of Light proposed by Melisandre, not the Drowned God of the Iron Islands, not the Seven Gods of the southern kingdoms. The one true god is that entity which sits even now with Jon and Ygritte, the same god that sits in judgment of King Robb and Lady Talisa. We have not been given a name for this god, but we know its demand. The single demand is to drop down on bended knee and acknowledge dependence. Humility is the only route to the enlightenment enjoyed by those abased creatures of the Sisterhood of the Damned. Humility, as I said two sections ago, can be understood as service—a promise to self, spouse, and community. Humility is a promise to this unnamed, unseen god who determines the height and width and depth of brutal, primal reality.

Robb’s promise then, first of all, is not to Walder Frey, but to the primal god—to the forces that determine his place in GRRM’s world. Out of that humble awareness must derive the lesser promise he makes to the Lord of the Twins (Frey’s bridge). Jon’s first promise must be to this primal god. His commitment to the Night’s Watch, after all, was made only after he bowed down on bended knee before the Old Gods at the weirwood north of the Wall.

Tonight’s episode was the most dynamic, exciting sixty minutes of television I have seen since last season. I can’t wait until next week!

An Announcement from Winter Is Coming

Pearson Moore has graciously decided to withdraw his essays from WinterIsComing.net. Pearson felt (and I agree) that the discussion generated from his essays was not a positive one and we both agreed that it would be best if we part ways. For those who are fans of Moore’s work, you can continue to read his Game of Thrones essays on his own website, WinterfellKeep.com.

We may not have an essay feature for the last four episodes of this season, unless I can find someone to step in immediately. If anyone wishes to try their hand at a thematic analysis of episodes of Game of Thrones, send your request via our Contact page and include in the request an essay on episode 16 as a sample of your work. I will evaluate all the submissions and decide whether to bring on a new essayist.

I thank Pearson for his contributions to the site and wish him the best. And thanks to all who responded to his essays, whether in criticism or praise, in a reasoned and polite manner. We continue to strive to make this the best Game of Thrones site on the web and highly value the input and feedback from our readers. Thank you.

(Yeah, there are some A Clash of Kings spoilers in this one. So?! Come at me bro!)

Fire And Blood: We won’t stop until everyone loves us! Y’all can skip the middle man and go right to Simone’s You Tube channel and watch the episode from there, if that is your will!

P.S. She said “city,” not “titty.” People!

Art by Amok

In this past week’s episode, Roose Bolton mentions that he has a bastard son at his castle, the Dreadfort, and suggests to Robb that he could be sent to take back Winterfell. Although he isn’t named in the show, book readers know him as Ramsay Snow and/or Ramsay Bolton. He is a character that appears for the first time in the second book, although he was not cast for the second season, leading some fans to speculate whether the character had been cut entirely. But now we know he is in!

In the books, Ramsay is described as having a “fleshy appearance, with large, wormy lips, long hair … and pale eyes” (per AWOIAF). A recent casting breakdown for season three indicated that the production is looking for a “male 20-30, but weird and extreme looking.” Sounds like Ramsay to me!

Let’s take a look at some popular fan choices for the role of the Bastard of Bolton.

Cillian Murphy – This Irish actor has been a top choice of the fans for the role of Ramsay for a while. Most people would probably recognize him from Batman Begins or Inception. While I think he does have the look (those pale eyes are perfect) and the acting chops to be a good Ramsay, and he has even been cast by Nina Gold before, I think his career in Hollywood may derail any hope of him signing up for the role.

Robert Sheehan – Another Irish actor, Sheehan is perhaps best-known for his role in the E4 sci-fi show Misfits. He also appeared in the Nina Gold-cast Red Riding mini-series, alongside other Thrones cast members Sean Bean and Mark Addy. While he’s definitely got the pale eyes, I’m not sure his overall look is “weird and extreme” enough. He also looks to have a pretty busy schedule currently. But a role like this could be a good move for him career-wise, as he is mostly unknown in the States.

Domhnall Gleeson – Yet another Irish actor, there’s no doubt Gleeson has the right look for the role. He wouldn’t even need a wig. (Any time they can avoid using a wig, they should.) His previous credits include appearances in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 & 2, Never Let Me Go, and True Grit. He has also been cast by Nina Gold before… twice actually. His film career seems to be burgeoning at the moment though, with roles in a number of upcoming movies, which could be a strike against him.

Iwan Rheon – A Welsh actor who has also appeared in Misfits, Rheon has gained a good bit of support from the fans for the role of Ramsay. He’s got the look and with it being confirmed that he won’t be returning for the fourth series of Misfits, he seems to have an open schedule. Like the others, he also has been cast by Nina Gold before which, as we know, can be a help. I’d say out of the four choices presented here, Rheon has the best shot.

What do you think? Do you like any of these four choices? Or do you have someone else in mind for the Bastard of Bolton? Sound off in the comments!