Babies on Doctor Who

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Adults make up the vastly predominant age group for characters on Doctor Who. Occasionally, however, there are individuals of a younger ilk. Usually, these youngsters are school-age. Even rarer still are babies. As we learn time and time again from Doctor Who, babies can be quite powerful. Any parent who has cared for a baby knows this, but, for the babies of the Whoniverse, this power goes light years beyond your average infant.

As we have seen, The Doctor speaks Baby, so we have been gifted with some very entertaining interactions. If reality reflected Doctor Who in this respect, there would be a lot that we have been missing out on what babies have to say. There are most certainly pros and cons to this.

One of the biggest unanswered questions of this past season is whether or not Clara is pregnant with Danny’s progeny. There is no way to tell whether or not Moffat will even answer this question, or just leave the loose plot ends hanging in the breeze as he often tends to do. Instead of fretting about it, though, let us take a look back at some of the babies who have appeared on the program.

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The writers on Doctor Who love to play with babies in a timey wimey way. Our first example of this is in ‘The Curse of Fenric.’ Ace met her mother, Audrey, and grandmother, Kathleen, in 1943 when Audrey was just a baby. Ace helped them to escape the Haemovore by telling Kathleen to take shelter in the home of Ace’s other grandmother. (Incidentally, Cory Pulman, the actor who played Kathleen, looks remarkably like two of my favorite people in show business: Regina Spektor and Kristen Schaal.)

Although not the first to deal with the families of the main characters, this story set the precedent of significant representations of babies who are related to the main characters. It is fitting that this happened with Ace. Before Doctor Who went on indefinite hiatus in 1989, it was intended to develop her character much more deeply. It was not until the audio dramas that she ended up attending the Time Lord Academy. It was also during these dramas that she discovered that her mother had died of cancer.

The Doctor even visited baby Ace in the short story Ace of Hearts. To make things even more timey wimey, he did so to apologise to her for both the above mentioned story and ‘Ghost Light.’

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Next is baby Rose Tyler in ‘Father’s Day.’ In this episode, rather than meeting a baby who is related to her, Rose met herself. It all began when The Doctor took Rose, as per her request, to her parents’ wedding in 1986 to see her father, Pete, when he was alive. Before The Doctor granted this request, he warned her by saying, “Your wish is my command, but be careful what you wish for.” Rose and The Doctor attended the wedding as guests and everything went smoothly (except for Pete messing up Jackie’s middle names in the vows).

Rose was not, however, satisfied with simply having this single glimpse of her dad. So, she then asked to comfort him at the moment of his death on November 7th, 1987. If you have not seen the episode, by now you are probably wondering where baby Rose is in all of this. Well, it was on this day that Rose created two paradoxes. Not only did Rose save her father, Pete, from his fixed-point death, but he later unwittingly handed her infant self to her. Reapers ensued, causing great havoc.

Rose got to spend some time with her father. Through talking with her, he figured out that the Reapers were there because he was supposed to get hit by a car and die. The car that was supposed to do this was stuck in a time loop, so Pete went outside to make sure that the deed was done. Very sad, but it had to be. Later, after Jackie married the Pete from the parallel Universe, they had a son named Tony. The Meta-Crisis Doctor was gullibly surprised when she joked with him that she had named the baby “Doctor.”

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As every Whovian knows, Amy, Rory, River, and The Doctor have the most complicated family in all of time and space. Their story arch is basically a wibbly wobbly timey wimey clusterfrack of epic purportions. ‘A Good Man Goes to War‘ is the episode in which we began to learn just how epic it actually is.

In this episode, Melody Pond was born. We learned that she is the same person as River Song, daughter of Amy and Rory. She was made part Time Lord upon conception when her parents were in the TARDIS during a trek through the Time Vortex. Because of this, Melody was born the ability to regenerate. We learned in other episodes that, throughout her life, she regenerated at least twice to eventually become Amy and Rory’s best friend, Mels, and then, finally, River Song.

Because of Melody’s biology, she was kidnapped and raised by the Silence to assassinate The Doctor. A flesh avatar of baby Melody was used to trick our heroes and aid in the girl’s abduction. On a lighter note, The Doctor let us know that Melody was not fond of bow ties and also that she referred to Amy as “Big Milk Thing.”

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Alfie Owens, temporarily known as Stormageddon: Dark Lord of All (self proclaimed), was introduced to us in ‘Closing Time.’ He is the son of The Doctor’s friends Craig and Sophie. According to The Doctor, Stormageddon was, at first, referring to Craig as “Not Mum.” These names, ironically, show more respect than what he calls everyone else which is “Peasant.” Even though he appeared to be too young to speak in a way that his parents would understand, his first word happened in this episode: “Doctor,” which was a step up from his earlier Baby-speak term which translated to “Also Not Mum.”

The Doctor got a job as a clerk in the toy department of a department store for the purposes of investigating some strange goings-on, most importantly the disappearance of some people. Craig and Alfie ran into him there and, Val, a jewelry counter associate, mistook The Doctor and Craig for a couple after an exchange that included The Doctor saying to Craig, “You’re my baby.”

Anyway, skipping to the end of the story, Little Stormageddon emotionally revived his almost-upgraded father and defeated the Cybermen simply by crying. In fact, he blew up their ship by making them feel emotions. He always knew that he was a badass. This was when he showed the world. After this went down, he switched to calling Craig “Dad” and dropped his eccentric pseudonym for himself.

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Ah, the baby Adipose – Doctor Who‘s answer to the Tribble. These adorable little blobs of lard were first seen in ‘Partners in Crime.’ After their nursery planet was lost, The Adiposian First Family set their sights on Earth and began to use the fat from human bodies to create their offspring. A company called Adipose Industries was set up as a front to sell a “miracle,” cutting edge diet pill. What this pill actually did, however, was “impregnate” people. The slogan for the product was “The fat just walks away!” Which it literally did. The head of Adipose Industries, “Miss Foster,” was actually Matron Cofelia, contract nanny to the children.

Technically, any human tissue could be used to create baby Adipose, but it was unhealthy for them to use anything other than fat. People can, and did, die from having their entire bodies used. In the end, 10,000 babies were created. Many more were planned, but The Doctor and Donna thwarted the scheme. Despite how they were created, it is impossible (at least for me) to hate the little darlings. After all, what the adults did was not the fault of the children.

What is your favorite baby from Doctor Who? Let us know in the comments.