Every episode of The Witcher season 3, ranked from worst to best
Now we’re going too fast: Episode 306, “Everybody Has a Plan ’til They Get Punched in the Face”
Episode 306, lengthily titled, “Everybody Has a Plan ’til They Get Punched in the Face,” picks up right where Episode 5 left, in the middle of the coup at Thanedd. The contrast between the confusion of the insurgence and Jaskier’s quiet relationship drama with Radovid sets the scene for Ciri’s escape, proving that Jaskier’s nanny skills are worse than his fighting.
The episode successfully conveys a feeling of anxiety. However, some scenes feel lazy. See the way even the Redanians fear Tissaia, the headmistress simply letting Vilgefortz walk away, or how Yen and Triss just leave Lydia’s body instead of disposing of her when they reunite. It’s not entirely clear whether Lydia is dead, and on a show such as The Witcher, leaving that up to chance is never a smart move. (Book spoiler: Lydia should be dead, but this is an adaptation so you never know… if they ever want to bring her back, they gave themselves an out here.)
When the elves arrive at Thanedd, the pace gets even faster, almost too fast. Everything happens so quickly: Filavandrel exploding, mages shifting sides, Rience being cut in half by Geralt, etc. As for Fringilla coming back, I expected she would find her way back to Francesca, but did I miss an entire episode where we saw her journey? And wait, Vilgefortz has hidden master combat skills and defeats Geralt… it all feels too easy.
Aretuza burns. Alliances, friendships and allegiances are tested amidst blood and smoke, while Ciri has to make existential choices that will have long-lasting repercussions.
Now we’re dragging it out: Episode 307, “Out of the Fire, Into the Frying Pan”
The bulk of Episode 7 is a one-woman show where Ciri wanders the desert and fights hallucinations. While I appreciated the episode aesthetically and I applaud Freya Allan’s performance, I don’t think the show can allow itself a 40-minute break from the plot on the second-to-last episode of the season.
The episode spells things out for us when it doesn’t need to. Ciri vocalizes many things that are obvious to us, the hallucinations are incredibly on the nose and the metaphors too simple. The unicorn is a deus ex machina, too convenient a way out for the mess that Ciri is in. If you want to put Ciri in a difficult situation, have her get herself out to show her growth.
Jaskier’s relationship drama continues, and even he knows it’s out of place. He refuses Radovid’s help, prioritizing his family. Meanwhile, Geralt is recovering from the injuries he sustained in his fight with Vilgefortz. We don’t get an answer as to how Vilgefortz succeeded in laying low the White Wolf when legions of armed men have failed over the decades. Why won’t these wounds heal when so many others have in no time?
