Alfie Allen Reveals Earth-Shattering (and Fake) Spoilers for Game of Thrones Season 6

Alfie Allen is still down under, promoting the Game of Thrones Season 5 DVD and Blu-ray boxsets. Will the production ever let him come back topside to the UK? Not if he continues to go around spilling Season 6 spoilers, it won’t!

Allen, spilling Season 6 spoilers? Who does he think he is, Ian McShane? Actually, Allen is spilling spoilers in a new interview with Buzzfeed Oz, but they’re not like you would expect.

• Jon Snow is alive! He will be reincarnated as a mouse. I suppose that means Ghost will let him ride around in his fur? (And the word Allen is looking for is “Animagus.”)
• Game of Thrones will cross over with Harry Potter! We at Wizards and Whatnot will be very excited for that. (What? HE HANDED ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLUG! How could I not?)
• Sansa and Theon survive the fall from the Walls of Winterfell with Ibuprofen. (NSAIDs are powerful things.)
• Sansa leaves Theon without so much as a thank you.
• Theon still remembers being reek….due to his changed circum….stances.
• We learn of a new Greyjoy called Chaffinch. Chaffinch Greyjoy. Luckily, the Ozzies were on hand to tell us book readers how that is spelled.
• Allen would like to see Ramsay die from bleeding out. (I don’t actually think that’s a fake spoiler.)
• Alfie forgets there are actually two dragons locked away in the catacombs of Meereen, which totally ruins his little headcanon about Theon bonding with a dragon over their both being mistreated by their masters.
• The interview straight-out asks about R+L=J. I suppose this is proof that the theory, which we book readers have tried not to allow the Unsullied fans to know, is now commonly accepted as fact? Anyway, Allen says R+L=J is bupkis. Jon Snow has no parents—he was born from the primordial ooze.
• “Who will be on the Iron Throne at the end of all this?” “Reek’s willy.”

And there you have it! Alfie Allen proving that when it comes to Game of Thrones Season 6, we, like Jon Snow, know nothing.