Well, well, well! HBO and Game of Thrones have decided to gift us with a brand spanking new Season 6 trailer, and it’s filled with all sorts of new footage that’s sure to get the congealed blood of a certain dead bastard pumping again. As is our way here, we obsessively dissect and break down each and every new scene.
So let’s get right into what you came here for. I’d like to start with a video from Conan, the one where Davos, Ghost, and some loyal men guard Jon Snow’s body from the mutineers. The clip starts at 1:49.
And now, spliced together with a GIF from the trailer, we see the inside and outside of the room. Oh, there’s a fight a brewin!
And his watch is ended…for now.
Tormund doesn’t look too pleased here. He and his wildlings look to be in on an icy tundra…hmmmm.
Meereen by moonlight. I wonder how many Sons of the Harpy are still skulking around?
Tyrion is getting comfortable in Meereen, and keeps the Great Masters waiting.
Methinks the High Sparrow hath met his match in Jaime Lannister, who is perfectly willing to spill blood in this holy place!
Heh. Oh yeah, he’s met his match.
Melisandre is looking quite glum…or is she plotting? I can never tell with her.
Fire cannot harm a dragon.
Question: how many Dothraki shit their pants in this scene?
Daenerys is stripped by her Dothraki captors. How does this play into Emilia Clarke’s resolution not to do nudity on the show again?
A man must cut a face, and a girl must not throw up.
I fully believe we are finally seeing Sansa becoming the badass she was always meant to be. You go, guuurl!
Oh Ramsay, you lovable monster, you.
Sansa, plotting her revenge, I hope.
Let’s all say it together: “RED WEDDING 2.0!” Also, f**k you Argus Filch-Frey, you toothless squib.
There once was a boy named Petyr, who cried wolf too many times in the woods…then Lady Stoneheart came and hung him from a tree. The end. (P.S. That’s totally Lady Stoneheart coming into view, look at the shock on his face*).
*Editor’s note: the views of David Harris do not necessarily reflect the views of Winter is Coming, and that is so not Stoneheart. Give up the chase, people!
Welp…Jorah can’t hide Westori AIDS for much longer. They don’t make a cocktail for that, Jorah, and you better get a new tailor.
Oh, Loras and Margaery. Don’t worry kiddos, Uncle-in-law Jamie will be there soon to release you from the big bad High Sparrow. But hey, Loras, please try and keep it in your pants from now on…no one really cares that you have a birthmark that looks like Dorne. (I’m looking at you, Benioff and Weiss.)
Let’s’ see: Davos in armor, on a horse. A Stark banner behind him. Looking across a field to Winterfell. Bolton crosses burning in the field. We may be getting a glimpse at the big season-ending battle here.
Who could make Varys look like he has a case of the vapors? A new red priestess, perhaps?
This is hard to make out, but I’m going to say this is the rope bridge between the towers of Pyke, and a certain King may be making a tumble soon.
The Lannisters are coming, the Lannisters are coming!
Oh you sweet, sweet Tower of Joy scene. I get chills just watching this over and over.
Tommen, can you please, for the love of f**k, grow a pair? Mommy is bad, she’s a bad woman, and she wants your crown. Plus, she has a really bad haircut. OFF WITH HER HEAD!
Mommy is in control again, which means that the enemies of the Lannisters are gonna pay dearly for their mistakes.
Finally, the Ironborn and Yara! I wonder who or what she’s looking for?
Four horsemen of the apocalypse right here, ya’ll.
Apparently, fire is no longer a deterrent to the White Walkers. Ruh roh, raggy!
Hey Sam: man-up and don’t hurl in front of your girl. I’m kidding, I’d have puked all over my girl on seas like this.
We pause our GIF breakdown for gratuitous girl on girl action….you’re welcome.
The Three-Eyed Raven (played by Max von Sydow) looks quite upset.
I have a feeling that when this scene comes on, I will be jumping off my couch, swinging my replica Longclaw sword and yelling some weird oath for Tormand!
Sansa said what?
Arya, receiving her ninja training. When a girl can grab a cricket from a man’s hand, then a girl is ready to become no one.
Battles, battles, everywhere I look, I see battles.
More Mardi Gras party goers. They just never know when to go home.
Theon weeps. For life, for love, for his missing anatomy? Who knows?
Brienne and Pod at Riverrun. It seems like they may have some business there.
Pod gets a surprise visit from an old friend…
We have a dragon flying overhead that doesn’t quite look like Drogon…too skinny.
Did someone let the others out?