Unsullied Recap—Game of Thrones, Episode 601—The Red Woman

Spoiler note: “A girl says nothing. A girl keeps her mouth closed. No one hears.” —Girls, boys, and everyone alike, Jaqen H’ghar has spoken, so please remember: This recap is primarily for non-book readers (book fans can discuss the show here). If you’re a book reader, please avoid posting any spoilers here so as not to ruin the fun for those who don’t know what’s coming next. Thank you!

Garnished with the mournful howl of a wolf, Season 6 kicks off precisely where its predecessor ended—at Castle Black, with Jon Snow bleeding out in a pile of his given surname, dead as a doornail but not for long. There’s no contextual evidence to support my faith, but I’m keeping it alive, anyway.

Davos is the first to come upon Jon’s lifeless body, followed by Edd and various other Night’s Watchmen, all of whom agree betrayal and broken oaths are the culprit once they’ve taken Jon’s body to safety. Melisandre joins them to grieve over Jon’s body, confessing that she “saw him in the flames…fighting at Winterfell.” Unreliable as Melisandre’s visions have been thus far, I have to hope that this one’ll be borne out.

But while we wait for Jon’s resurrection, there’s a mutinous band of miscreants to deal with. Edd tells Davos that the only men he trusts are the ones locked away in their self-made safe room, and this statement brings up the good point that this “sworn brotherhood” isn’t to be trusted, because what’s so sacred about an oath that’s forced upon you? Murder is murder regardless, but Alliser Thorne attempts to explain it away by saying that it was done for some greater good, and the only thing surprising about that is that Thorne confesses at all. It’s no secret that he and Jon didn’t get on from the beginning, but a little Odd Couple-ing certainly isn’t in the same league as cold-blooded murder. Not that it makes a difference to Thorne, who follows up his confession with a convoluted speech about loyalty, as if to convince everyone that his own disloyalty is justifiable. He throws in a little victim-blaming, insisting that Jon forced them to make the choice to break their Night’s Watch vows because if they didn’t do it, Jon would have driven them into the ground.

Well, if you say so, Thorne, but I suspect you’ll get yours before the season’s through.

A hop and a skip away from Jon’s deathbed is another: Myranda, who isn’t fit to take the bed of a Stark but there she is, with Ramsay waxing poetic aside her. He tells her, “Your pain will be paid for a thousand times over. I wish you could be here to watch,” (rich coming from a man who thrives off the pain he inflicts upon others as though they deserve it), and then he instructs that her body be fed to the hounds, but doesn’t seem to garner any joy from the command. The whole scene makes me wonder if Ramsay had true feelings for Myranda, or if he only kept her around because she validated his sadistic desires and habits. Personally, I have to side with the latter, because what’s the point of trying to humanize Ramsay now?

True grief or otherwise, Ramsay can’t be left to it, as Roose comes along to set Ramsay up just to watch him fall. Roose praises his legitimized son’s obliteration of Stannis’ army, and then reminds him that “he played [his] games” with both the heir to Winterfell and the heir to the Iron Islands, and now he was neither (ha!). Roose tops off his obvious disdain with his hope that Lady Walda is pregnant with a boy, insinuating that he’ll need a proper heir of his own should Ramsay fail to procure his wife and servant, thus proving himself to be as incompetent as Roose is making him feel.

Not far off, Sansa and Theon are just barely outrunning the Bolton men and hounds Ramsay sent after them. To avoid certain mauling, they wade through the river in an attempt to throw the dogs off their scent, and then take refuge beneath some fallen trees, where they share a hug that nearly broke my heart. It’s the first loving touch either of them have felt in years, and it calms them both, lends comfort where it was feared that comfort would never come again; it’s family, it’s home. There is pain and grief in the way that Theon rubs her back, regret in his inability to protect her from what was done to her, and a gratitude that she brought him back to who he’s supposed to be.

Theon steps up to save her now, lying to the Bolton men who’ve caught up to them, but despite the runaways’ preventative measures, the dogs find Sansa almost immediately. All seems lost until somewhere in the distance, Bonnie Tyler takes to the piano and suddenly the woods are bumping to the tune of “I Need A Hero,” and Brienne and Pod are on the scene. As usual, Brienne owns that battlefield, and Pod takes down a couple Bolton men of his own (after that first kill, is it just me, or did Sansa seem impressed with Pod’s newly acquired swordplay? Is it too early to hear wedding bells? Because I am so here for a Sansa/Pod happily-ever-after).

Once Brienne and Pod take out the would-be assailants, the former once again lays her sword and service at Sansa’s feet, and the pair create a pact of sisterhood in my personal favorite scene of the episode. Not only does Pod adorably assist Sansa with her side of the vows (yes, I think those are wedding bells in the distance), but Brienne has never looked more relieved than she does when Sansa allows her to fulfill her oath to Catelyn Stark. This scene was packed with the perfect balance of action and emotion, and I’ll watch it ten times over.

Things are getting emotional down in King’s Landing as well, as Jaime meets Cersei at the shore with a golden shroud behind him. Cersei knows something’s amiss when she sees Jaime’s somber Calvin Klein model expression, but she closes her eyes in something like acceptance, as if she should have known. This sentiment is supported when Cersei tells Jaime of the prophecy we saw back in Season 5, but Jaime dismisses it in his insistence that they can take back everything that’s been taken from them.

As steady and sure as Jaime’s declaration is, it’s more of a desperate plea than a promise—what can they take back? Joffrey, Tywin, and Myrcella are all dead and gone, and the nobility that used to precede the Lannister name has been tarnished almost beyond recognition. As much as I want the Faith Militant’s comeuppance at Cersei’s hands, there’s really nothing left for the Lannisters; they’ve fallen from grace in such a way that I don’t know that they can reclaim their place. They’ve held power nearly the entire run of the show so far, and perhaps now’s the time that they’ve fallen and, while they might have their revenge, they won’t fully recover.

It seems that’s the way for the powerful families presently in King’s Landing, as the Tyrells fare even worse than the Lannisters. Still locked away in a cell, Margaery pleads, then demands to see Loras, but her words fall on deaf ears as Septa Unella continues to press for Margaery’s confession. The High Sparrow shows up to play good cop, bad cop, and refers to his number-one septa as “over-zealous,” like he’s not the one orchestrating this whole terrible business. Margaery once again denies her need to confess imaginary sins, and the High Sparrow is as disgruntled as a conservative politician when faced with a woman who won’t do whatever he tells her to. Ah, political humor.

We’re taken from the dark and dank cells of the Red Keep to the lustrous but narratively uninvigorating Dorne, where Ellaria and Tyene pull out all the stops and start knifing dudes like they’re auditioning for West Side Story. As soon as Doran unfurls the parchment detailing Myrcella’s death, Tyene stabs Areo Hotah, and Ellaria stabs Doran and voices her dissatisfaction at his inaction following the deaths of both Elia and Oberyn. Doran says his son’s name, but Ellaria is unconcerned as she says that Trystane is “weak.”

I still had a bad feeling about that boy band dropout, up until about thirty seconds later when Obara and Nymeria show up on his boat and dishonorably stab him through the skull. It was hardcore, and yet I’m thoroughly disappointed; I really thought Trystane had another, more nuanced and sinister part to play in all this. What’s next for Ellaria and the Pussycats now, I couldn’t begin to guess. I’m sure the Dornish plot has an endgame, but right now it feels like a grave the showrunners keep digging deeper.

Across the Narrow Sea, Tyrion and Varys walk the streets of Meereen and discuss the problem that is the Sons of the Harpy and Daenerys’ consequent disappearance. The civilians are torn in wanting to destroy Daenerys—one graffiti goes so far as to claim that she’s just a much a master as those she condemned—or they’ve lost faith in her return, so instead they’ll view her as an icon and follow in her footsteps.

Tyrion and Varys are just as unsure as anyone else of the Mother of Dragons’ return to Meereen, but the former seems perfectly content to take on this new challenge to hone his own political skills. While not “perfectly content” in his current situation, there’s an extra spring in Tyrion’s step as he considers the opportunity to take power as he did when he was the Hand of the King to Joffrey in Season 2. He has the chance to regain the importance and respectability his family stripped him of, and since all the boats in Meereen’s harbor have been torched, it looks like we’ll have plenty of time to see where this new journey leads our favorite sharp-tongued, liquor-lipped Lannister.

Elsewhere in Essos, Pretty Boy Daario and Handsomest Man On the Planet Ser Jorah embark on a romantic horseback ride in search of their lost queen, although they both express their shared opinion that Daenerys doesn’t enjoy the title, nor does she really want it. An interesting perspective, since seizing the queenship is all Daenerys talks about, but then again I’m not surprised that neither of her wannabe boyfriends listen to her properly. Generally speaking, Daario and Jorah both seem more concerned with how Daenerys feels about them than her personal long-term goals. This is further evidenced by the conversation the pair have about their feelings for her, which is vaguely reminiscent of Edward and Jacob’s chat in the Twilight series’ Eclipse, in that it’s simmering with homoeroticism while they pretend to love the same girl.

They give Daenerys some credit, as they agree that they “want to see what the world looks like when she’s done conquering it.” But if Meereen is any indication, the world is going to be fully mismanaged and just as violent as it is in the Thrones universe now. Certainly the pair of them fear such violence when they find Daenerys’ dropped ring and surmise her fate as prisoner to a Dothraki horde.

While Daario and Jorah might not catch up to her quite yet, we the viewers are taken straight to Daenerys, who is on the receiving end of some white people jokes that are pretty funny until they turn into sexual harassment. She’s treated to more of this when she’s brought to Khal Moro, who isn’t as impressive as Khal Drogo, but that’s what you get when you’re standing in Jason Momoa’s glorious shadow.

Khal Moro expresses his satisfaction that he’ll soon see a new woman naked—“Is there anything better?” he asks, prompting his comrades to suggest a long list of possibilities, which subsequently leads me to believe that they’re secretly in love with each other, and Moro is tired of them beating around the bush. He, meanwhile, would prefer a lusty night with Daenerys, but upon learning that she was the wife of a khal, he changes his tune as such activity is forbidden within the Dothraki. He grants Daenerys her safety, but not her freedom, as she must return to Vaes Dothrak to live out her days with the rest of the khaleesis-turned-widows. So it seems that Daenerys is out of the frying pan and in the fire but, hey, fire can’t burn a dragon, so we’ll keep rooting for her.

Away in Braavos, Arya is blind and begging on the streets when her former roommate, busted Kimmy Gibbler, shows up to start a fight. Unused to her magical cataracts, Arya is bested, but Kimmy promises to return the following day. It seems that this is yet another training method in Arya’s journey to join the Faceless Men, but I’d prefer her to get her sight back and hightail it out of that circus.

The episode comes full-circle and brings us back to the Wall, where Thorne attempts to coax Davos, Ghost, and the few loyal brothers from their guard over Jon’s body with promises of amnesty. Edd has left to find reinforcements—presumably the wildings—and Davos refuses to budge, knowing full well that Thorne and his men will gut them all as soon as they get the chance. He’s on his last hope, and admits that Melisandre is it.

In another locked room in Castle Black, Melisandre removes her necklace to reveal that she’s actually Gollum, and that’s the “shocking end” that was alluded to after the L.A. premiere—that Melisandre is not, in fact, the PYT we’ve always seen, but such an old woman that she requires magic to conceal her true form. I’m not so much shocked as I am unimpressed. It’s interesting symbolism—Melisandre facing her true self, what she really looks like compared to what the world sees her as, and thus facing her true purpose in this very long life. Hopefully her age lends something significant to the plot that will make me look back on my disinterest with embarrassment, but for now I’m underwhelmed by this episode’s namesake.

What’s your take, fellow Unsullied? What impact does Melisandre’s true age have on the overall plot? Has Dorne reignited the interest lost to many last year? How will Daenerys escape her fate at Vaes Dothrak, and how will her crew back in Meereen function without her? What fabulous girlfriend adventures will Sansa and Brienne embark on now, and does anyone else want to see a little spark of romance between Sansa and Pod (just let me have this, D&D)? And just how long do we have to wait until Jon can take up his sword and teach Alliser Thorne a thing or two?

Remember—speculation is encouraged, spoilers aren’t! Please refrain from posting book spoilers here! Feel free to discuss the episode in the comments or Tweet me @kattymaj, but don’t ruin any surprises for the viewers who haven’t read the books. While the show has largely diverged from its source material, you never know what details will crop up later. Thanks, and see you next week!