We’ve reached the midway point in Season 6, and it feels like we just started. The season is moving along rapidly, and in traditional Game of Thrones fashion, just when we were starting to feel comfortable (Starks reunite! Dany’s a badass!), along comes “The Door,” where Hodor and Summer die and leave our collective hearts shredded and bleeding on the floor.
On Game of Thrones, you’ve got to learn to expect the unexpected, and with the Night’s King and his army on the move, no one is safe. Let’s walk through that and everything leading up to it in this week’s GIF recap. As always, these amazing HD GIFs are put together by the helpful folks at COUB.
We start at the Wall, where we’ve begun each episode of Season 6 so far. Sansa got a tweet from Littlefinger: “You up?”
Sansa met up with Littlefinger at Mole’s Town, and she brought backup. After calling the games master an idiot, Sansa turned up the heat.
Littlefinger actually seemed remorseful. He offered his help in the form of the army of the Vale, and tipped Sansa off that she had an uncle at Riverrun named the Blackfish with his own army, but she was having none of it.
In Braavos, Arya was practicing to enter the Mortal Kombat tournament.
The Waif was not amused, and started showing off.
FINISH HER!
Now the Waif is just being mean.
But our tough little Arya can take a beating and keep on ticking.
Sexy Jesus gave Arya a brief history of the Faceless Men and the founding of Braavos. Then he gave her an assignment…he doesn’t seem to be messing around.
Later, Arya changed clothes and took in a show.
This all seems a bit too familiar, although I don’t remember this much farting when Robert died.
It was all fun and games until someone started making fun of Arya’s dad. Then she was none too pleased.
Arya
A Girl marked her target and went back to Sexy Jesus to report what she saw. It’s finally time for her to carry out an assassination for the Faceless Men…or is it?
North of the Wall and in the haze of a greenseer vision, Bran discovered how the White Walkers were made. The creepy doll people did it.
Moving on, in the Iron Islands, the Ironborn tried their hand at democracy.
Yara made a claim to the Salt Throne, but the dicks from a**hole Island wanted nothing to do with a female leader, until Theon Greyjoy spoke on her behalf. And, for a moment, all seemed well, until crazy uncle Euron showed up.
Euron admitted to killing Balon (his own brother, which makes him a kinslayer), admitted to not being born a king, and not having enough ships to do what he said he could do…but those whacky Iron Islanders elected him leader anyway. Describing his junk seems to have won them over.
Yara and Theon, along with a few hundred boats and men, beat feet out of there.
And just in time, too, because Euron was ready to murder their faces after being ritually drowned.
Outside Vaes Dothrak, Dany was in a forgiving mood with Ser Jorah.
Ser Jorah finally revealed that he had a really bad case of eczema.
And then he took the final step into the vast emptiness of the Friendzone, but not before declaring his undying love. Take it away, Whitney.
“I am the Queen of pretty much everything, and probably command an army of doctors, but I command you to go far from here and find a cure. Just so we understand each other, Ser Jorah, go away from me, and find a cure…and then if, and only if you find a cure, then you can come back, okay, pal?” —Daenerys Targaryen, Queen of the Andals, Khaleesi of the Dothraki, and Keeper of the Friendzone.
Nobody does a riding away scene like Dany…nobody.
In Meereen, Tyrion had been holding on to one of Varys’ lines from the Season 5 premiere for ages, and finally got to throw it back in the eunuch’s face.
The new #1 Red Priestess of R’hllor showed up and started freaking everyone out with her witchy ways.
Maybe Tyrion realized a bit too late what he unleashed on the city.
Varys thought he was going to step up to the new Red Woman…
…but she shut him down quickly. Notice the terrified looks on both Tyrion and Varys’ faces.
Back in the Great White North, Bran got bored and surfed the weirwood net without the parental controls on.
Maybe he was surfing for porn, but all he got was The Walking Dead.
Oops!
And just like that, the Night’s King had a way in.
See?
Time for one last trip down memory lane with the Three-Eyed Raven.
Meanwhile, at the Wall, our heroes were planning to gain support from the houses of the North.
Oh look, a handy map showing us were all those houses are located.
Sansa lied about where she got the intel about her uncle’s army. Dick move, Sansa.
Of course, Sansa thought a new cloak would make up for her shameful lies. No Sansa, it doesn’t, Jon doesn’t want your shame gift…
…oh Goddammit Jon, don’t fall for it…
It’s literally like no one has ever loved this poor kid in his entire life. Oh well, enjoy the shame cloak, Jon, I’m sure it won’t come back to haunt you and Sansa in Episode 9.
**Air horn** BRIENNMUND SIGHTING **Air horn**
Goodbye Edd, I weep for thee. And I sincerely hope that the next time we see you isn’t as a wight in the Night’s King’s army.
Time to leave.
And now we begin our final descent into madness and sadness. The Night’s King has arrived at the Three-Eyed Raven’s cave, and he’s brought an army.
The Children of the Forest hurled their magical fireballs at the wights, and while that slowed the mindless ice zombies down, fire does not harm a White Walker.
The Night’s King and his lieutenants made their way into the inner cave, where Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven were still deep in a weirwood dream, and Meera Reed became the third person on Game of Thrones to kill a White Walker, joining Samwell Tarly and Jon Snow.
The Night’s King dispatched the Three-Eyed Raven like he was eliminating a longtime foe.
And then things got really f**king meta, and Kylo Ren got in on the action. Boy, I really cannot wrap my head around this time travel stuff.
Summer died (off-screen, because I can’t watch that again without bawling my eyes out), and that bought Meera, who was pulling Bran down the hall, some precious time.
Leaf sacrificed herself, which was the least she could do…you know, since she and the other Children created the Night’s King in the first place, and all that rot.
And now it’s time to say goodbye to one of our company: no more hodoring.
Hold the door…holdador…Hodor.
You hold the door to our hearts, you sweet giant.
That’s it for this week, folks. Now pardon me while I go have a good cry. See you next week for Game of Thrones Episode 606, “Blood of my Blood.”