Our review of the two rereleased Game of Thrones beers

Of all the various Game of Thrones spinoff products, Brewery Ommegang’s series of Thrones-themed beer may be my favorite, probably because its the only kind you can get drunk on. Thus far, Ommegang has released five beers in this series: the Iron Throne Blonde Ale, the Take the Black Stout, the Fire and Blood Red Ale, the Valar Morghulis Dubbel Ale, and the Three-Eyed Raven Dark Saison Ale. The first two beers were released before the show had achieved its current level of pop cultural saturation, and weren’t made in huge quantities on account of Ommegang not being sure if people would be interested in alcoholic beverages based on a TV show with kings and swords and dragons and stuff.

People were interested, so much so that many weren’t able to try the Blonde Ale and the Stout before they were off the shelves. To address this problem, Ommegang will rerelease those beers late this September, and was kind enough to send us a sample for our reviewing pleasure. Join us as we

make like Cersei Lannister on a bad day

responsible critics and

get blasted

review these drinks to help you make your beverage-related decisions.

First up, let’s try the Iron Throne Blonde Ale, the chosen beer of kings, would-be kings, and anybody in the real world who wants to get drunk enough to feel like one or the other. It’s light and frothy, with an amber hue roughly the color of Lannister hair, although you probably don’t want to keep that comparison in mind while drinking it. It’s sweet, but not sickeningly so, and hits you with a slightly spicy aftertaste as it rolls over the back of your tongue. Drink it while staying at the Inn at the Crossroads, during the reception of a King’s Landing wedding, or, y’know, because you’re thirsty. We give it four out of five drunk Cerseis.

Next, we’ve got the Take the Black Stout, so named for the vows the men of the Night’s Watch take before swearing off worldly things like women and inheritance. No wonder they have a beer named after them. The stout is full and rich, with hints of coffee and chocolate that don’t overpower each other. It’s brown-to-black in color, so you know it’s serious. There’s a textured, earthy quality to the drink, a filling taste that might comfort the men of the Watch as they trudge over miles of frozen plain on their way to being killed by wildlings or White Walkers or just good ol’ frostbite. Luckily, you can enjoy it a closer to home.

Plus, it’s 7% ABV, so it should get you nice and loaded. We give it five out of five drunk Cerseis.

Both the Iron Throne Blonde Ale and the Take the Black Stout will be available across the country later this month, on draft, in 750ml bottles, and in limited edition gift packs like the one pictured above—the gift packs will also come with a fancy glass featuring the Ommegang and Game of Thrones logos in gold. It’s very Lannister-chic.

Let’s end with a toast. “To the Watch!” No, that doesn’t sound quite right. “For the Watch!” Yeah, that’s comfortingly familiar for some reason.

Next: Scratch that Game of Thrones itch with FX's The Bastard Executioner