The WiC Scale: Winners and Losers from “Battle of the Bastards”
By Ani Bundel
For the second to last time this season, it’s time for the WiC Scale, where we rank how well characters did in the last episode, without having to sit up for five hours as each voting borough slowly tabulates their results. Let’s look back and see who thrived, who dived, and who just made it through the groundbreaking “Battle of the Bastards.”
This week, we only spent time in two locations: Meereen and Winterfell, and the battles of Ice and Fire played out. With a list as small as this, it can’t be too hard to decide who won and who lost.
Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner
Daenerys Targaryen, First of Her Name, Mother of Dragons, Burner of Ships, Friender of Ironborn: All three of her dragons were flying free. Everything’s coming up Dany this week.
Up
Sansa Stark: One could say she won the Battle this week after she rode in with the Knights of the Vale and saved the day. One could also argue she won because she was the one who personally killed Ramsay. But is that really winning? Especially since she may have to marry Littlefinger as a result?
Jon Snow: Well, he won the battle, thanks to Sansa. Not that he did much to help, after basically making every mistake in the book against Ramsay.
Tyrion Lannister: Not only did he get his Queen back, but she listened to his plan—and even better, said plan worked.
Tormund Giantsbane: The Mike Tyson of the wildlings lives to see his Beloved Brienne once more.
Lyanna Mormont: She lived up to her promise—at least one of those 62 soldiers she gave Jon lived long enough to be part of the final charge through the gates of Winterfell.
Littlefinger: He Who Gets Owed, Gets Paid.
Yara Greyjoy: She not only found a powerful woman to back her claim to rule the Iron Islands; she also found a friend.
Greyworm & Missandei: Life on the free side is working out pretty well, at least when your boss has a few dragons.
Rhaegal & Viserion: FREE AT LAST. FREE AT LAST! THANK THE RED GOD ALMIGHTY, THEY ARE FREE AT LAST.
Middling
Davos Seaworth: On the bright side, he lived through the battle. On the not so bright side, he figured out what happened to Shireen.
Melisandre: On the bright side, she finally got her vision of taking over Winterfell to come true. On the not so bright side, it would have been better for her if Davos perished.
Theon Greyjoy: On the bright side, Yara’s got a deal. On the not so bright side, a Lannister never forgets your insults.
Down
The Masters, The Harpies et al: They lost ugly. And they’re probably not going to try that again.
Harald Karstark: We’re pretty sure we didn’t see him die this week. That being said, he might have wished he did come next week.
Every Last Northern House Who Turned Jon Down: That being said, chances are that if Jon Snow is made Lord of the North instead of Littlefinger, he’ll probably be magnanimous and let them live to become wight chow next year.
Out
Rickon Stark: To be fair, as Sansa pointed out, the kid was dead anyway. It was just a matter of reality catching up to him.
Smalljon Umber: I know he said the wildings would come and eat the northerners, but I’m not sure he actually meant that literally.
Wun Wun: Rest well, CGI giant, and dream of large women.
Ramsay Bolton: He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it, I’ll bet cha you would have done the same. (Pop, bark, squish, uh-uh,
feed the dogs, flay-boy.)