Romance Over Rivalry: The Benefits of a Jon/Sansa Marriage

“When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.”

—Eddard Stark, A Game of Thrones

With Game of Thrones barreling towards an ending, the rumor mill has kicked into overdrive, as fans try to tie up loose ends. We certainly have plenty of time to speculate before we’re proven right or wrong, since Season 7 is due for a late release.

One popular topic of speculation revolves around the currently triumphant Starks at Winterfell, and how they might fall from grace. Some fans have suggested that Sansa and Jon may be rivals next season. Littlefinger certainly seems to be pushing for that, but I don’t think it’ll happen. There’s some tension there, but much of it may be resolved once the truth of Jon’s parentage is revealed. This will likely happen soon, if it’s meant to make any difference. Not only that, but there seems little chance of Jon turning against Sansa. Since their reunion, his main objective has been to protect her, and Jon isn’t the double-crossing type. Their tender moment on the ramparts of Winterfell in “The Winds of Winter” represents them coming to terms with whatever issues they have with each other.

I don’t see Sansa betraying Jon for the likes of Littlefinger, either. If anything, I’d bet that the show is luring us in the wrong direction on purpose. This red herring tactic has worked for it in the past. Recall that, when Sansa descended the staircase in the Eyrie toward the end of Season 4, we were led to believe that she would be a more active player in Season 5. And we all saw what happened there.

Also, a Stark feud just doesn’t make much sense when you consider Jon and Sansa’s respective characterizations. Winter is here, and with it the renewed strength of the Stark clan. In fact, I’d argue it’s more likely that the show is setting up a romance between Jon and Sansa. There’s little but hints to support this contention, and not everyone will agree, but that’s true of most fan theories. Let’s dive in.

Narrative logic

First, let’s address the incest question. Following Season 6, we know that Jon and Sansa aren’t half-siblings, but cousins. While by no means the norm, marriages between cousins did happen in medieval Europe, particularly among the noble set. (Queen Mary II and King William III were first cousins, for example.) Westeros is loosely based on medieval Europe, and its mores would apply to Sansa and Jon. If we can excuse the horrors endured by these women, Sansa especially, because of the world in which they live, we can excuse the unusual nature of what would be a consensual relationship. (Neither Jon nor Sansa would commit to the union unless they were both willing to do so.)

Sansa and Jon may have been raised as siblings, but only to an extent. In the Season 6 finale, as Jon and Melisandre appraise Winterfell’s hall, he tells her, “When we had feasts, my family would sit up here. And I’d sit down there.” That’s indication enough of Jon’s standing within the family. While most of the Stark children seemed to accept Jon as a brother, Sansa followed her mother’s lead and didn’t have much contact with him. There’s not a particularly familial vibe between the pair.

But before I get all romantic, let’s get pragmatic. We all know that Daenerys is headed for Westeros, and as I see it, the show can end in one of two ways: either Daenerys takes the Iron Throne, or she dies. Either way, there’s logic behind a Jon/Sansa marriage.

If Daenerys wins the Iron Throne

In Season 1, Daenerys seeks the help of Mirri Maz Duur and unwittingly sacrifices her child’s life in exchange for Khal Drogo’s. Daenerys gives birth to a bat-winged creature that doesn’t survive. Since then, it seems that Daenerys knows she is barren. In Season 2, she tells Jorah of her dragons: “They are my children. And they are the only children I will ever have.” Of course, she could be wrong, but I’m willing to take Daenerys at her word in regards to how well she knows her own body.

Keeping this in mind, should Daenerys take the throne, she may may make a marriage alliance, but won’t have any heirs. In that case, the only way to ensure the continuation of the Targaryen bloodline would be to marry her nephew, Jon Snow, off to a fertile woman. Who better than to an heir to one of the Seven Kingdoms?

We can assume that Sansa is not infertile. For all of the torture Ramsay subjected her to, he needed an heir, so he would have left that much of her wholly intact. Sansa has an excellent claim to the North, which means Daenerys will want her on her side. Should Dany reign, Jon—the King in the North—and Sansa—the oldest surviving child of Ned Stark—would be the ideal people to rule the North in her name.

If Daenerys dies

It may not be an appealing train of thought, but on Game of Thrones, everyone’s life is up for grabs. In Season 2, there is a touch of foreshadowing that may indicate Daenerys’ death. During her vision in the House of the Undying, she approaches the Iron Throne, which is covered in snow. She almost touches the chair, but doesn’t quite get there. The shot lingers tellingly on her hesitant hand before she draws it away. Instead, she walks through the snow—perhaps indicative of the upcoming battle against the White Walkers—and is reunited with Khal Drogo and their son.

It’s possible this vision foreshadows Daenerys reuniting with her husband and son in the afterlife. Of course, Daenerys walks away from Drogo and their son just as she walks away from the Throne, so the theory is by no means foolproof.

So if Daenerys doesn’t sit the throne, who’s left? All things considered, the obvious and perhaps only choice is Jon. While he doesn’t appear in Daenerys’ vision, the snow (or Snow) that blankets the Iron Throne may symbolize his future rule. He would presumably need to take a wife. So far, the only woman he’s establishing a bond with is Sansa, and she does know her way around King’s Landing.

Whether that bond is romantic is up for debate, but let’s look at some of the contextual (if arguable) evidence.

The stirrings of romance?

"JON: New dress?SANSA: I made it myself, do you like it?JON: Yeah, well, it’s—I like the wolf bit."

Look, I’ve been watching cheesy teen movies since before I was old enough to relate. This is prime “bumbling pseudo-nerd who doesn’t know how to talk to the prom queen” material. True, Jon isn’t fashion-savvy enough to compliment Sansa on her stitching. But I haven’t seen such a genuinely flustered interaction since Ethan Embry continually failed to communicate with Jennifer Love Hewitt in Can’t Hardly Wait. Whatever your interpretation of the scene, personally, it caused me to sigh an exasperated “Honestly, Jonathan, quit flirting with Sansa until you know for sure she’s not your sister.”

"RAMSAY [to JON]: She is a fine woman, your sister. I look forward to having her back in my bed."

This may mean nothing, but I think it’s an interesting choice on the part of the writers. A man taunting another man about his liaisons with a woman tied to them both? That’s a love triangle trope if ever there was one. Contextually, Ramsay wouldn’t know about Jon’s parentage so, no, he doesn’t mean the taunt the way it would generally be taken. But as a narrative tool, this is common dialogue between romantic rivals. Just something to chew on.

"JON [to SANSA]: I won’t ever let him touch you again. I’ll protect you. I promise."

First of all, swoon. If there was ever a doubt in my mind that these two are tying the knot, it was dashed with these words. Similar to Ramsay’s quote above, this is an interesting choice by the writers. I mean, brothers don’t talk to their sisters this way. I have brothers. Brothers say, “I’m gonna kick his ass.” They don’t stare meaningfully at you and vow to protect you alone in a tent surrounded by the soft glow of candlelight.

On top of that, Jon quite literally goes to war for Sansa. He wouldn’t have fought for Winterfell if it hadn’t been for her influence. Apparently, Targaryen men make a habit of going to war for Stark women. So it would seem that Jon inherited something from his father Rhaegar, after all, even if it wasn’t the platinum hair. (Admittedly, Rhaegar didn’t so much start a war for Lyanna Stark as cause one. But tomato, tomahto, really.)

Similarities to Ned/Catelyn

There’s another couple we can compare Jon and Sansa to. The two of them bear a striking resemblance to Ned and Catelyn Stark, in both looks and temperament.

As far as appearance goes, Ned and Jon both have that brooding thing down. As for Sansa, Lysa notes the similarities between her and Cat in Season 4. But it’s the characters’ hair that really drives this point home.

Sansa’s hairstyles have always been notable. She wore the Southern styles during her relationship with Joffrey, mimicked Margaery’s look during their friendship, and sported a sleek ‘do on the road with Littlefinger. She has since gotten back to Northern basics, braiding her hair much as Catelyn did. Meanwhile, Jon’s man bun may not precisely match Ned’s half-ponytail, but the updo counts for something.

Also, some of the dynamics in the relationship between Jon and Sansa resemble those in the relationship between Ned and Cat. In both cases, there’s a shaky balance between trust and suspicion. For her part, Catelyn never quite got over Ned’s infringing upon his honor and producing a bastard (i.e. Jon, and note that Ned didn’t trust his wife enough to tell her the truth). But at the end of the day, their love for and faith in each other trumped those doubts. Similarly, Sansa didn’t trust Jon enough to tell him the truth about Littlefinger’s offer of help, but still supported him every step of the way.

Cat and Ned’s marriage was borne out of political pragmatism, but grew into something real, with love and devotion on both sides. Whatever is between Jon and Sansa now, it could grow along those same lines.

These similarities raise another question: Are Littlefinger’s insistences that Sansa can’t trust Jon a result of his own insecurities when faced with two people who must remind him of Cat and Brandon/Ned? Littlefinger’s obsession with Cat is well-known. He tried to win Cat’s favor and failed, first with Brandon, and then with Ned. His attempts on Sansa have been equally fruitless. With Jon now in the picture, I’m betting that Littlefinger is experiencing some uncomfortable déjà vu.

Even Sansa knows that Jon is standing in the way of what Littlefinger wants. She knows that, given his druthers, Littlefinger would have crowned her Queen in the North, but she also knows what he’s capable of. She’s already seen him kill one king (and one aunt), and she knows that Jon isn’t safe. No matter the tension between her and Jon, she won’t choose Littlefinger over someone who’s done nothing but protect her from the outset. This is hinted at when Sansa tells Littlefinger, “Back then I only thought about what I wanted, never about what I had.” What she has now is Jon, and unless and until Bran and Arya come home, Jon is all she has. She won’t give that up this time around.

Impact

It’s often said that Game of Thrones isn’t about happy endings. But personally, I don’t see why not. The good guys and the innocents are constantly beaten down, so it would be satisfying to flip the script and end with their triumph. After all these characters have been through, there’s no sense in an end in which they all die or continue to suffer. While the endgame may not be neat and tidy, it likely won’t be all devastation, either. This series is about perseverance in the face of loss, and inner strength that overcomes adversity. For our heroes to come this far just to crash and burn would render the narrative almost pointless.

On that note, when we consider Sansa’s journey, she deserves someone good who will be good to her. It would suit her arc for her to come full circle, perhaps battered and scarred, but once again believing in the things she doesn’t believe in anymore. She’s back at home, in her element, and she should have that piece of her identity granted to her.

From my own perspective (as well as others’ who I’ve spoken to on the matter), this would affect abuse survivors positively. There are so few well-done adaptations of our struggles in media. This fact is partly why Sansa stands out so strongly to us. To see her—someone we see so much of ourselves in—get a happy ending would be healing.

In Season 6, Sansa came to terms with her pain and gained justice for it. But she deserves more than the dark path of vengeance. While rightfully earned, this shouldn’t define her any more than her suffering has. Granted, Game of Thrones tends to give the characters not what they deserve, but what suits the story. But with the show headed toward an ending, character redemption is on the agenda. Those who have suffered are due to reap their rewards.

When it comes down to it, Jon exemplifies the sort of hero Sansa once dreamed about. Once they get past the tension between them, there will be room for romance to grow beyond mere speculation.