Every once in a while, we stumble into the world of the Doctor before our family does, leaving us alone. How can we find people to enjoy it with?!
I come from a family of science fiction fans. Literally. Starting from the night I started to come into the world, my mom waited to go to the hospital because an episode of Star Trek: Next Generation that she hadn’t seen was on. Both her and my dad read sci-fi extensively. So, when I eventually discovered the joys of Doctor Who and the fantastic world of being a Whovian, I was excited to
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share with them.
They weren’t fans.
My dad loved Bill and Ted (which famously parody Doctor Who), but not the show, itself. My mom just couldn’t get into it. None of my siblings are sci-fi fans. I felt like I was alone in my fandom-loving. I felt betrayed, I felt sad, but most of all, I felt determined. Surely there was something I could do.
So, from my experience, I have learned how to deal using these basic steps:
Image via GIPHY
Conversion
Perhaps they simply haven’t given it a try, so I did my best to get them to see what I loved about the show. I tried to get my family into it, from talking about my favorite plots (my mom agreed that the episode “Blink” was good, but never bothered with other episodes) to playing episodes at holidays (much less successful, though my brother-in-law became a Whovian a few years later on his own) to logical discussion (ending with a firm “I just don’t like it!” from one family member.) I became frustrated. I had tried everything I could think of but they wouldn’t enjoy it like I do. Since I couldn’t change the minds of my immediate family, I took the next step…
Reaching Out
This was a good opportunity to socialize and make new friends, both in and outside of my family. Just because my immediate family didn’t care for it didn’t mean nobody did. Surely there were others that enjoyed the show as much as I do somewhere, right?
I got in touch with some of my more distant relations (cousins, nephews/nieces, aunts/uncles, etc.) I found a few that were willing to talk about Doctor Who with me and share my love of the show. While most weren’t as obsessed with it as I am, it did give us a chance to connect and it allowed me to get to know family members I would not have otherwise. It was a good starting point. It gave me a chance to practice finding other fans and allow me to dip my toes into the community of Who fans.
Finding Other Fans
Doctor Who is one of those amazing fandoms. It isn’t just a small group of people who like it or watches it because of their liking due to certain actors popping up (such as Farscape and Stargate.) It is a large and thriving community. Get to know your neighbours. Reach out and share your love, both in real life and the online community. You’ll find plenty of support.
Just because you are alone in some ways doesn’t mean you have to be in every aspect of the Doctor Who fandom. There are friends through online communities, cons, and even just seeing someone on the street with a themed T-shirt reminding you. You can comment on fan fiction, starting a dialogue with someone, create your own art and literature. Even wearing merchandise to display your love and putting out a sign that you are willing to get to know others and joining forums. This gives people who are normally shy or have trouble communicating, including myself, a starting point to get to know others
Photo: BBC
Finally, Acceptance
Once you accept what you cannot change, but also what you can, you’ll be able to enjoy life as a Whovian without the stress and worry that you’ve somehow become distant from your original community of family and friends because of a difference in tastes. Understand that you won’t make everyone a fan or even tolerate it, but that’s okay. There are plenty of people out there that are, including yourself.
It is something you love that speaks to you in a way that it doesn’t to others. There’s still plenty of people who enjoy it and you are one of those amazing people. You don’t have to be alone. I’ve made life-long friends out of other fans, as well as fans out of life-long friends. There are still plenty of people I care for that won’t go within fifty miles of the fandom, but we still have plenty to talk about and bond over. At the end of the day, this is what matters.
This has been my experience. It may not be the same for everyone, but having these steps in mind can be helpful to enjoy being a Whovian, even when your family isn’t.
Next: What We Know About Knock Knock