Game of Thrones season 7 is here. The opening episode, “Dragonstone,” began with a bloody cold open that raised the curtain on an hour of highs (the Night King’s army marching towards the camera) and lows (Sam’s poop montage). And with the help of the fine people at COUB and Cooler, we’re here to recap it all…with the magic of GIFs.
We begin at The Twins, where
Lord Walder Frey
Arya Stark takes out all the ridiculous hat-wearing douchebags of House Frey. This was literally my response.
North of the Wall, the Night King has added a few giants to his army. As if he needed to be any more terrifying.
Bran and Meera arrived at Castle Black, and Lord Commander Edd Tollett checked their passports before letting them in the front gate.
At Winterfell, Lyanna Mormont laid the smackdown on a bunch of gruff mean men.
Jon and Sansa had a fight in front of the kids…
…and once King Jon put his foot down, he swore in some new lords.
Once the topic switched to Cersei, Sansa did have some important advice for Jon. She delivered it once they had a chance to talk privately…you know, like they should have done in the first place.
In King’s Landing, Jaime and Cersei had an important conversation.
We were shocked, too, Jaime.
But he couldn’t take too long to let the news sink in, because Cersei had company coming. Euron Greyjoy visited King’s Landing and made an offer to the most eligible bachelorette in Westeros.
At the Citadel, we were forced to watch Sam endure the worst Groundhog Day ever.
Back at Winterfell, Tormund flirted with Brienne…
…and Pod paid for it.
While Pod was being used as a pawn in a very dangerous game of Brienne and Tormund love-chess, Littlefinger was offering to buy underage Sansa some beer.
Having just received an Amber Alert from Sansa, Brienne cut her date with Tormund short to check on her.
Arya, fresh from her murder of House Dumbhat, ran into Ed Sheeran and his new band.
I think we all saw that coming.
Arya also told the truth about her murderous desires, and no one believed her.
She’s the girl who cried regicide.
Also on the road: the Hound and Thoros, who banter back and forth…
…before The Hound has a life changing vision when staring into a fire.
Once more at the Citadel, we find that Jorah Mormont has been literally imprisoned in the Friendzone.
And finally, Dany arrived home. We were in awe.
Game of Thrones is getting to the point where John Williams can only help it.
Game of Thrones season 7 continues this Sunday with “Stormborn.”