Valar morghulis: All men (and women) must die. But when?
Welcome to Valar Morghulis, a weekly column about death and destruction in the wide world of Westeros. Each week, we’ll try to predict how likely every character on Game of Thrones is to breathe their last in the upcoming episode. We’ll also review what we got right, as well as what we got horribly wrong, last time.
Let’s take a look at the predictions that came true:
"3. Tyene Sand: 75%. Tyene is the only Sand Snake still alive, so she gets an entry all to herself. The bad news is she’s probably not long for this world. Sorry-not-sorry, Tyene."
Poor Tyene. At least when her sisters died last week, it was quick. Poisoned by Cersei Lannister, there’s no telling how long it could take.
"4. Ellaria Sand: 75%. Euron captured Ellaria rather than kill her, but that doesn’t mean she’s safe. Euron will be taking Ellaria to Cersei, and we all know how kind and forgiving Cersei is."
We did not see Ellaria die, and Cersei promised Ellaria she would watch her daughter’s body turn to dust. Still, the actress behind Ellaria revealed we will not see her on the show again. So we count that as a death.
What did we got wrong?
"20. Olenna Tyrell: 25%. As far as we can tell, Olenna is still on Dragonstone, where she is relatively safe. But based on her comments to Dany about being a dragon, she may be eager for bloodshed."
Yeah, so Olenna was not on Dragonstone, and she was not safe. The Lannisters surprised us all and sacked Highgarden. Maybe if characters weren’t teleporting all over the map, we would have seen this coming.
Helen Sloan – HBO
Honorable Mention: Septa Unella. We held out hope that we might see the Septa alive, but after visiting the dungeons of King’s Landing last week without any sign of her, we’re giving up the ghost.
Onto this week’s episode, “The Spoils of War.” That title doesn’t bode well for our characters. Still, after an episode with three major character deaths, they wouldn’t kill anyone else important this week, would they?
…Would they?
****Percentages refer to how likely the character is to die, not survive.****