“I hate them with the pointy end!” Predictive text program writes a script for season 8

Let it be known: The machines are as tired of waiting for the final season of Game of Thrones as we are. Whether they’re predicting which characters will die or picking up George R.R. Martin’s slack and finishing The Winds of Winter, our future overlords have been busy. Now, Botnik, “a community of writers, artists and developers collaborating with machines to create strange new things,” has used a predictive text program trained on every Game of Thrones script yet released to write scenes from Game of Thrones season 8. Welcome to the machine.

Where to even begin? We’re really looking forward to our first glimpse of Jon Snow in season 8, which finds him “being beautiful and looking hard at things.” The machines have really captured his essence. Likewise, Brienne’s vow to “lumber around the Seven Kingdoms until I die” is pretty spot on, especially if you’re talking about the path she takes in George R.R. Martin’s novels. Other highlights:

• Euron finds a new insult for Theon: “wife boy”
• Arya: “I’m a kill dancer! I hate them with the pointy end!”
• “Qyburn enters with his head down. He licks his lips and touches the ground in a sex way.” What must the Game of Thrones script directions be like?

And let’s be honest: while Varys’ crack about his balls is probably a little too corny for the actual show…it’s not THAT far off.

And in news that we don’t really understand, researchers at Queen Mary University of London, University of Cambridge and Max Planck Institute for Solid State Research have discovered that adding salt to a sponge and then heating it to an extremely high temperature turns the sponge into a carbon based structure. It’s actually a lot more complicated like that, but the researchers boiled it down to a diagram that any Game of Thrones can enjoy:

Enough said.

Next: Game of Thrones season 8 has already been shooting for longer than any season before it, and it’s still going

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