Westworld: 5 Best and worst moments from ‘Akane No Mai’

Westworld: “Akane No Mai” offers a lot in one episode. It is chock full of great stuff as well as some C+ stuff. Let’s explore the best and the worst moments in Westworld season 2, episode 5.

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!

5 Best Moments

Tedolores at last

Finally, Dolores and Teddy do the deed. Teddy is now officially out of the friend zone. Honestly, I thought it would never happen–and was getting a case of blue balls/ovaries. That is a lot of foreplay.

It took all of season 1, half of season 2, and probably 200 dropped cans of condensed milk to get to this point. When they return to Sweetwater after the reckoning, Teddy and Dolores find a new world together – in bed. He accepts Dolores as she is in a heartfelt scene when she speaks her truth. He unconditionally and lovingly supports her yet again.

Was it me or did James Marsden seem even more good-looking and endearing than usual (as if that’s even possible)? Tedlores both surrender to their feelings and embark upon sweet, sweet lovemaking. Teddy finally satiates his appetite for her maze–and she responds in kind.

Frankly, I don’t know how she managed to keep it so wholesome for so many decades. Teddy is a catch and the lovemaking scene is filmed beautifully and tastefully. We even got to see James Marsden’s hot crossed buns draped over her body afterward in the soft glow of light from the window.

But Dolores has something on her mind. You knew it couldn’t be that easy.

Bluetongue betrayal

Sex changes things. Isn’t that the first rule of Westworld Club? And sex with Dolores really changes things. Look what it did to William! It’s clear that Dolores does not like to snuggle after sex and is interested in something else entirely. These other things include leading her true love Teddy out of the bedroom and gently into a butcher shop in true blue tongue fashion.

Considering Teddy did not kill the Confederados as ordered by Dolores at the fortress, punishment is inevitable. As I predicted in a previous Beyond Westworld article, it will be worse than death for Teddy. So, she has him restrained and gives the ok to reprogram his behavior attribute matrix by a hostage tech.

Teddy is visibly shocked and confused and has been stuck in the “aw shucks Jimmy Stewart” loop for 30 years. Will she amp up the aggression on Teddy too much? Will he eventually turn on her and take over? Will he overpower her?

Will he kill the Man in Black? Will it fry his host brain? This new character arc will make for some interesting possibilities for actor James Marsden. I look forward to seeing the darker side of Theodore. Bring it on T-dog! We have your back.

Sylvester gets served

By far, my favorite moment of episode 5 was Felix’s outburst to his co-worker Sylvester. It was a tiny candle flicker of a moment. But it was awesome. And here I thought, only Lee Sizemore from the narrative department had cornered the market on comic relief in the show. I love being wrong.

After being captured by the not so friendly Shogun World folks and being made to do hard labor on their travels, Sylvester loses it. He angrily nags Felix to speak to the captors in their language. He assumes Felix is from Japan–shouldn’t have done that Sylvester.

While Sylvester may have had more power or rank above Felix, everything has changed since the reckoning. “I’m from Hong Kong, asshole,” shouts Felix.

The entire concept of assuming things about people who are different is pervasive in life. Society eats up assumptions. You would think our 21st-century world would be belly full of it by now. Nope. Nada.

The world is still very hungry for it. I’m proud of Felix for his assertiveness. and love his accurate use of profanity. Sylvester is completely out of line and knows it. Keep up the good work Felix. Be loud and proud!

Maeve will blow your mind

Just when you think Maeve can’t be more powerful, she is. I have no metaphor worthy enough to celebrate her increasing talents. Remember when Ford points out to Dolores in the Westworld season 1 finale that our true power lays in our own minds? He was once again right.

Thank you, Bernard and your great taste in art namely Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam. Maeve’s ability to speak fluent Shogun World-ese is very impressive. It’s all done with the smooth and easy confidence and undeniable charm that we’ve seen from Maeve since Westworld season 1.

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That’s it. I’ve requested a refund from Rosetta Stone and am signing up for foreign language lessons from her. Granted, Lee Sizemore explains to Hector and the crew that her narrative is a madam. She’s programmed to speak multiple languages. Whatever Sizemore!

Even when Maeve and the crew get captured, her mind is always thinking a few steps ahead. Remind me to never play chess with Maeve. Her expert knowledge of foreign languages did not diminish her eloquence in my mind.

Speaking of minds, holy cow! Maeve has gone full otherworldly. Now she has mental telepathy. Burned warrior ears be damned! No host is safe from her powers. I wonder if she can use it eventually on the guests and remaining park staff.

That would be rewarding to watch. Is there nothing Not-Without-My-Daughter Maeve can’t do?! Not really. But perhaps she may have an Achilles’ heel somewhere in her powerhouse brain. Still wondering if she and Dolores will have a power battle to the death at the end of season 2.

Shogun World is finally shown!

In the Westworld season 1 finale, Felix tells Maeve when she sees Shogun World hosts for the first time at The Mesa that “it’s complicated.” She’s never seen anything like them and is perplexed. The audience has been rightfully intrigued from the get-go about Shogun World.

HBO has done a great job at hinting at Shogun World’s possibilities in multiple Westworld trailers. And finally, we got to see Shogun World. Sizemore describes it as a park that caters to guests who want an experience of the most extreme. I think Lorenzo will disagree about the most extreme part.

So would Teddy. Possible Angela. They have all experienced incredibly violent and excruciating deaths repeatedly in Westworld. But Shogun World offers a fresh world with unique beauty, scenery, and a different feel. The costuming, hair and make-up are stellar–unlike anything we’ve seen yet.

The characters themselves are very much works of art. Maeve flawlessly rocks that kimono, right?. I appreciated the tender scenes with her and her Shogun World counterpart, Akane. They definitely share a universal bond and there is a lot more story to cover with them.

What they will accomplish together remains to be seen. Poor Sizemore, now he has two “Maeves” controlling him.

5 Worst Moments

Bad pizza

Let’s face it. Westworld is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. Isn’t that right, Sylvester?

As fans, we watch Westworld and see where takes us. It’s a journey. We suspend our disbelief. That’s the beauty of this groundbreaking show. It offers us a nice distraction from the stresses of everyday life. Yes, most of the episode was bad pizza to me.

But carbs are delicious, so I went with it. Admittedly, there are some moments from episode 5 when I wanted to throw a metaphorical shoe at my TV.

I do miss Dr. Ford’s eloquent monologues. Hopkins added some meat to the show. Filling that colossal void since his absence is a challenge. The few times the show has imaged in young Ford in season two episodes had me annoyed.

Same as it ever was

I do not quote lyrics from The Talking Heads often, but when I do, it’s serious. The parallel storylines between Westworld and Shogun World are a let-down. It’s the term paper for college written the night before. It’s the re-gifted toaster for a wedding gift. It’s not horrible. It’s not even meme-worthy but I expected more.

For those two parks to have almost identical narratives, hosts, and dialogue makes no sense. It’s too easy. Everything was slightly tweaked but replicated: the butterfly, Armistice’s tattoo, the Paint it Black song, the weapons wrapped in a blanket, and Hector’s scar on his counterpart.

It even went as far as taking Maeve’s “new world” speech verbatim. After all, Delos is a resort created for the extremely wealthy, for the select few. The clothing for the guests is proudly bespoke. Wouldn’t discerning wealthy guests expect original narratives in each park?

I assume that these richy rich guests would explore all the parks. Wouldn’t they give bad YELP reviews if all the hosts, narratives, cornerstones, and settings were pretty much the same?

If it was me, my review would be eggplant emoji, followed by water droplet emoji, followed by angry face emoji. Does Delos only have one writer in narrative – Lee Sizemore? I would love to see another writer from narrative be introduced. Let’s see what Westworld season 3 has in store.

Shogun World showed less

I give Shogun World in episode 5 a participation medal. We finally get to see it and experience it after all the build-up over the last year. But it seemed lackluster. Granted, there was a ton of killing. A ton of intestines, limbs, burned off ears, and even crucified Delos park security detail with bamboo cage hats.

Sizemore, Felix, and Sylvester seemed horrified at the gore. Like Shania Twain, it didn’t impress me much. Thank you Gen X’s and Boomers who got that reference. From the first time they showed the Shogun World logo in the Westworld season 1 finale, my expectations were set very high. The logo is strong, magnificent and fierce. Not subtle, not shy.

I’m a graphic designer. Good design is pretty. Great design carries the promise of something magical, something remarkable. I really hope the next time we see Shogun World, its voice is loud, confident, and clear.

The dusty, rustic village in Shogun World looked like it was part of quaint Sweetwater. I was expecting clean minimalism and elegance. Epic is what I expected. Instead we got a few shoji screens, scrappy campsite full of puddles, and rustic chic.

Is there a Dolores sister from another mister in Shogun World? If there is, she’s a painter who loves her dad and guns equally.

Talk about losing your head!

The decapitation of the Shogun is ridiculous. Granted, he deserves it for killing the vulnerable Geisha dancer Sakura. There was no reason to do that other than to be a jerk. In a pivotal part of Akane’s dance, she decides enough is enough and hides a knife in her beautiful black hair.

She plans on killing him right from the beginning. She does the head slice heard around the world. The evil Shogun takes a few steps forward. Then his hinged head falls to the muddy ground.

Come on (throws a metaphorical shoe at the television)! Even Wu-Tang Clan cannot save this scene. Although many think it did. Which brings me to another point.

Dolores and Teddy are shot at the attack on the fortress. Yet they are living life without any impairment. Has their pain threshold been manipulated in their programming from the captured tech? Or are they so used to getting shot after all these decades that it’s no big deal?

Barely any Armistice

I was so happy to see Armistice in episode 5. However, she barely got any play. A few lines here or there and that was it. So wrong! Ever since her vibrant scenes in the Westworld season 1 finale, I’ve been an Armistice enthusiast. She chewed off a tech’s finger and made him swallow it.

The way she messed with frightened Sylvester is hysterical. The way she kisses the glass to say goodbye to him was a brilliant and menacing public display of affection. So, Armistice got to do some fighting in Shogun World. Big deal. She has a mirror moment with her Asian counterpart evoking the famous mirror scene Harpo Marx and Lucille Ball in I Love Lucy.

Thank you baby boomers who understand that reference. There is so much more her character can do. Earlier in the season, she plays a cleaned up, modern host in a white dress at James Delos’ retirement party. Again, Armistice is under-utilized.

Will she get to fill in the head of her snake tattoo by killing Wyatt? I hope so. I’m crossing my fingers for Armistice. Actually I’m hiding my fingers from Armistice.

We waited long for season 2. It felt like eternity. I turned to other tv shows for comfort. I felt like I was committing adultery. I even went back to watching The Walking Dead even though I swore to myself I would never watch it again after what happened to Glen and Abraham.

I went back to Negan, and as charismatic as he is, didn’t fill the void. I recognized Steven Ogg from Westworld on The Walking Dead and that got even more homesick. Altered Carbon was also an emotional support animal for me, but I binged it. Then binged it again.

Next: Westworld podcasts we love and you’re missing out on!

You can’t compare Westworld and Altered Carbon. It’s an apples-oranges thing. I even started watching HGTV. I had to do an intervention upon myself. Shows about tiny houses scared me straight.

Westworld season 2 is here and we’re halfway through it already. It’s been some ride. I’m sure there will be some surprises in the remaining episodes. At least I hope there will be some surprises.

We’ll all be watching. Come on Teddy, let’s see what you have in store for us. Someday is now.

What are some of your favorite/least favorite moments from last week’s episode? Share them with us below!

Watch Westworld episode 6, ‘Phase Space’, on HBO this Sunday at 9 pm.