Into The Arrowverse: Stargirl keeps rising, Legends finishes strong

Photo: Bettina Strauss/The CW

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow Episode 515: “Swan Thong”

Never did I ever think that Sisqo, the man who once became famous for singing “Thong Song,” would show up in an episode of DC’s Legends of Tomorrow. But given the madness we’ve seen unfold on this series, is it really that shocking? Nah, but it’s still pretty dang hilarious.

Legends concluded its fifth season this week, and unlike its fellow Arrowverse shows, it actually aired the season in its entirety. This was the only show that had already wrapped filming, so we got at least one show that gave us the ending it intended.

And boy, was the season 5 finale of Legends something. Between the Loom debacle and the unexpected Sisqo cameo, there’s a lot to adore “Swan Thong”.  After all the drama involving the Loom of Fate, the Legends are finally able to destroy it.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t give them the results they were hoping for because Lachesis, Charlie’s sister, muddles things up with her interference once again. Basically, she created watches that were powered by Gideon and that controlled and told humans what to do.

With a new obstacle to overcome, the Legends have to face off with an army of Encores if they want to save humankind. But in typical Legends style, this doesn’t happen with just a battle, it happens with Sisqo’s “Thong Song” playing in the background. Everyone remembers the cringey lyrics of the song, right? Well, I won’t repeat them here, but just imagine those words being sung in the background as the Legends try to take on each and every Encore that comes their way.

Photo: Bettina Strauss/The CW

Amidst this madness, we are treated to an unexpected (and very welcome) cameo in the form of Courtney Ford, who reprises her Encore role of Marie Antoinette. She’s a sight for sore eyes and a saddening reminder that she and Brandon Routh are no longer in Legends. Oh, how I miss them.

Charlie decides to help out the Legends this time. She’s been held back by her sisters for long enough, and she refuses to let that be the case anymore. So with the Hell weapons in tow, she shows up to help the Legends as they get rid of each Encore one by one. And that whole Gideon-watch-taking-over-humanity situation? That’s handled, too. Sorry-not-sorry, Lachesis.

But with the victory come losses, and we had to contend with two in the season 5 finale. For a couple of episodes now, we’ve gotten to hang out with both versions of Zari, the one who loves Nate and had been living in a totem and the social media influencer version hooking up with Constantine. Unfortunately, both Zaris can’t coexist, because if they do, then Behrad will die. In the original Zari’s timeline, Behrad is dead, so as long as she sticks around, Behrad will cease to exist.

This means its back to the totem for the O.G. Zari, who had just gotten to snuggle up with Nate for some one-on-one time. Normally I’d be annoyed at this back and forth, but I appreciated that this time around, Zari got to say goodbye to Nate properly. They were able to come to terms with the situation and shared some beautiful moments, both with each other and the with the rest of the team.

Broken hearts usually means it’s time for distractions, so Charlie takes the team to watch her perform with her band, The Smell, as they sing the rock ‘n roll version of this season’s infamous song, “Mr. Parker’s Cul-De-Sac.” Unfortunately, after a killer performance, Charlie reveals she’s staying behind and not going on with the Legends, which means it’s Maisie Richardson-Sellers’ final episode on the show.

I’m sure they’ll find a way to bring her back, but that’s one loss too many this season. I wasn’t expecting that at all, sigh.

Oh, and if you weren’t crying enough already, then the final moments of the finale will definitely have you freaking out. As the Legends make their way out of the bar and say goodbye to Charlie, Sara is suddenly beamed up into something (presumably an alien ship) and the drunk Legends didn’t even notice.

Well, then. That’s one way to end a season, isn’t it?

Grade: A-

Uh, where did Sara go? Why do characters have to leave? And why did Stargirl insist on breaking our hearts this week? These are questions I’ll be trying to answer over the course of the next week, but suffice to say, we had a solid week of Arrowverse.

And I’m still working on processing the idea of Batwoman having a brand new character in the lead role next season! Blurg!

Until next week, Arrowverse fans.

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