Review: “The Seven Stages” raises the apocalyptic sakes for The Umbrella Academy

The Umbrella Academy dives into both time travel paradoxes and wild drugs trips in a twisty episode.

Its the beginning of the end as The Umbrella Academy  veers into the homestretch of its impressive second season. In “The Seven Stages,” the show begins to unravel the mystery behind this new apocalypse, and Five must resort to seeking out the one person he didn’t want to involve in this ordeal: his past self, which is to say, his older-looking self.

We kick things off with Vanya, who’s being interrogated by the FBI after blowing some police away in the closing moments of the last episode. They can’t find any records of her, and since her name sounds Russian, they jump to conclusions and assume she is a spy working for the Soviets, which is particularly troubling since the president is in town. Ah, the Cold War.

During questioning, she discovers she can speak Russian, and things get bad. Vanya tries to use her powers to escape but is sedated.

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY ELLEN PAGE as VANYA HARGREEVES in episode 208 of THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY Cr. CHRISTOS KALOHORIDIS/NETFLIX © 2020

Back at Allison’s, Ray is understandably freaking out about having a dead white guy on his couch. Allison tells him to calm down, and then Klaus shows up and helps dispose of the body. Elsewhere, the last remaining Swede realizes the Handler tricked him. And Grace discovers Reginald’s plans to assassinate the president, and leaves him.

Back with Five, his plan is to intercept his former self and use his briefcase to take himself and the gang back to 2019. Apparently Old Five was present at the Kennedy assassination, his last job for the Commission before he jumped to 2019, now looking like his 12-year-old self. Young Five needs Luther to come along to blunt the effects of Paradox Psychosis, a seven-stage process that kicks in when one meets another version of themselves from elsewhere else in the timestream; it starts with itching and ends with murderous rage, hence why help is needed.

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (L to R) SEAN SULLIVAN as OLD MAN FIVE, TOM HOPPER as LUTHER HARGREEVES and AIDAN GALLAGHER as NUMBER FIVE in episode 208 of THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY Cr. CHRISTOS KALOHORIDIS/NETFLIX © 2020

Upon meeting, Paradox Psychosis kicks in for both versions of Five, with the flatulence and uncontrolled perspiration. On the surface, it seems the two agree about what to do next, but soon Old Five is trying to cut a deal with Luther under the table.

At the Commission, Lila continues to make her case for Diego being part of her team. The Handler, after making sure there are no issues with her past with Five, agrees, with the condition that if Diego gets out of line, Lila will kill him herself.

Of course, Diego gets out of line immediately. He ditches the boring orientation video and makes his way to the Commission’s universal switchboard, where a worker drone named Herb shows him the real cause of the end of the world. Of course, it’s Vanya, yet again. Tortured by the FBI, she blows up the building as Kennedy’s motorcade passes by. The world assumes it’s a Russian attack, both sides unleash their nukes, and it’s armageddon..

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY ELLEN PAGE as VANYA HARGREEVES in episode 208 of THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY Cr. CHRISTOS KALOHORIDIS/NETFLIX © 2020

But it hasn’t happened yet. In 1963, the FBI forcibly gives Vanya LSD, sending her on a very wild trip that lands her back at the Umbrella Academy with her siblings and father. At one point, she starts eating a brain.

Diego and Herb show up to warn Allison, Klaus and Ben of what’s about to happen. The three head to the FBI to save Vanya, but she’s already killed some agents when they get there. Elsewhere, Harlan seems to be channeling Vanya’s power, indicating the two of them are linked.

This episode recovers nicely from the last episode, and has me once again on the edge of my seat. It ups the ante in terms of tension and suspense, setting us up for a very exciting final pair of episodes.

The hallucination sequence was pretty far out, and it’s good to see Diego using his brain a little and finding some information the team can use. The back-and-forth between the Fives was also pretty hilarious.

Episode Grade: B-

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