Impressions: Netflix’s Arcane casts a sleeping spell on the audience

Arcane is a new Netflix show set in the world of League of Legends. Is it worth watching? The short answer is no. The long answer is hell no.

Netflix continues to fill their digital shelves with new Netflix Original Series every month, and November is no exception. One of their newest shows is Arcane, an animated action/fantasy series based on the world of League of Legends, the popular video game. Since I am a lover of all things fantastical, I decided to give it a watch (even though I greatly prefer Smite).

The quality of Netflix Originals varies wildly. Sometimes you get a home-run; Squid Game is a recent example of that. But more often these days, you get foul balls. Very foul balls, lacking any creative integrity or spark of passion, so uninspired that you collapse from ennui. Arcane is a foul ball.

I have to take the gloves off here and just speak frankly. My main problem with Arcane is that I find its story unoriginal and its writing as stimulating as oatmeal. Let’s start with the story. So we have a ragtag gang of kid heroes living in a world with stark divisions between the rich and the poor. There’s a villain in the shadows injecting people with spooky syringes that turn them evil. I’ve seen each of these tropes done a million times, and setting it in a fantasy world isn’t a new enough spin to hold my attention. And with each episode, more tropes pile on. Later there’s a counsel of elite professors in some future-Hogwarts. Yawn.

The dialog also feels lazy. If the characters were at least interestingly written, then they could hold audience interest themselves. Alas, they are not. They all have the exact personalities you’d expect just by looking at them, and their lines sound plucked from the pages of some middle-grade fan-fiction.

The dialog isn’t nonsensical; it’s just boring and predictable. It’s so watered down and bland you’d think the show was aimed at children, but it clearly isn’t because the story, while dull, deals in heavy themes and characters will randomly curse. So it isn’t written for children, but clearly isn’t meant for adults. Are teens expected to lap this up? Do teens even play League of Legends these days?

I digress. Point is, point blank, Arcane is incredibly boring, and each episode is a grueling 40 minutes. Mercy, mercy!

To top things off, the show employs the musical styles of Imagine Dragons, a band famous for writing the same song over and over again. I’m sorry if I’m hurting the feelings of any fans, but Imagine Dragons songs have the most insipid lyrics I’ve ever heard, and they aren’t any better than usual here. Every time I hear their music, I think of creative bankruptcy. In that way, they’re a perfect match for Arcane.

I probably sound a little harsh, huh? It can’t be helped. Arcane was practically designed to annoy me, but hey, it’s not a total train wreck. The animation is kind of nice, and the backdrops and environments look pretty. That’s about the only thing I can say in its defense. You’re better off going back to playing League instead.

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