Game of Thrones by Dr. Seuss: Dragon Eggs and Lamb

What if Dr. Suess and George R.R. Martin had collaborated for a children’s book before Theodor Seuss Geisel’s death in 1991? That’s the kind of question that keeps you up nights. Sadly, the logistics don’t exactly match up, as Martin’s first book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series—A Game of Thrones—wasn’t published until 1996, and if the two had collaborated, then there would be loads more death, incest, and boobs…lots of boobs. Good thing for us, artist Charles Evans collaborated with your’s truly (me) to write and illustrate a Game of Thrones-inspired take on the Suessian classic Green Eggs and Ham.

It doesn’t seem as if Jon has any interest at all, in eating dragon eggs and lamb. Maybe it’s because Jon is a secret Targaryen, and eating dragon eggs goes against his very nature? Ironically, Sam would have gladly scarfed down a plate of poached dragon eggs, dripping in butter sauce, bread trenchers filled with gravy, and an entire roasted lamb.

Too soon, Sam. Jon would most certainly take umbrage with eating dragon eggs and lamb while Bran fell.

To be fair here, naked Hodor would ruin my appetite as well. I mean…the feeling of inadequacies brought up by seeing THAT would be enough to cause Sam himself to lose his appetite.

Do you get the feeling that Sam is being a bit of a dick here? I mean, first he makes light of Bran falling, and now he’s forcing Jon to look at Ned’s dead head (the name of our next Suessian Game of Thrones themed story).

At this point, if I’m Jon, I am no longer friends with Sam for this one. You’ll never tell? Jon can go back to Winterfell anytime he wants…after Melisandre resurrects him in Season 6. *wink*

It’s true. In the end, Ghost will literally eat anything…I mean, did you see what he did to that wight’s hand he ripped off?

Note: This story was written and illustrated when Charles and myself worked for Fansided’s entertainment catchall website Lightly Buzzed, during Game of Thrones Season 4. Charles is now the Editor in Chief of Fansided’s #1 college football website, Bama Hammer, and I’m the Editor and Chief of Fansided’s Dork Side of the Force, and well, I also write for you guys here at WiCnet! 

Next: The Small Council: What was the best line from Game of Thrones Season 5?