George R.R. Martin Rescues an FBI Asset on CBS’ Limitless

A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones creator George R.R. Martin may have said he may be done with cameos, but that didn’t stop him from saving FBI asset Brian Finch (Jake McDorman) on CBS’ Limitless, which is based on the film Limitless starring Bradley Cooper. Although, I’m not sure you could technically call Martin’s involvement in this week’s episode of Limitless — Season 1, Episode 18 “Bezgranichnyy” — an actual cameo. First, a quick primer:

If you aren’t familiar with Limitless, then shame on you, because it really is a fun show and you should be watching it. The series centers around Brian Finch, a fun-loving yet aimless loser who is happy coasting through life, until he tries a super-drug called NZT. Once he tries his first NZT pill, his whole world changes. Colors are much brighters, time slows down, and he instantly becomes a genius. He is able to access every single neuron in his brain for 12 hours…but then the pill wears off and he literally looks like a poster model for staying off meth.

Enter Bradley Cooper’s character (Senator Morra) from the Limitless film. He has learned to produce NZT and a booster shot that allows people that he selects, to bypass the “meth effects” of coming down of the NZT. Brian Finch is caught by the FBI, and Morra sees an opportunity to have someone in a government organization. He offers the booster shot to Brian and the FBI offers Brian an asset position, and their own supply of NZT pills each day, as long as he will solve cold cases for them. And now you’re caught up.

So here’s how our beloved Mr. Martin had his moment of fun, on Limitless:

Brian travels to Russia in order to find a chemist named Piper who was close to making her own booster shot that would allow him and her to be free of Morra and the FBI, but she was caught trying to steal a special plant from a wealthy Russian, and she was put in prison. Taking his last NZT pill, Brian works through all the scenarios of trying to spring Piper from the Russian prison, and he comes up with only one workable scenario…A Song of Ice and Fire.

Apparently, Russia’s deputy prosecutor general, Maxim, has a secret…a secret that if his enemies in the Russian government got wind of, he’d be finished: He is a heavy Game of Thrones message board user, and goes by the name Iron Price (Russians and Ironborn…makes sense). I can actually hear Ivan Drago standing over Apollo Creed’s beaten body, asking in that thick Russian accent “Did you pay the gold or the iron price?” and his wife Ludmilla looks up and says with an equally thick Russian accent “Gold.”

Anyway…If Brian can convince Martin’s wall of publishers and assistants to let him to talk to the author, then he is convinced he can get the Bearded Bard to talk to the Russian official and get him to release Piper from prison. And, after much dialing and many phone calls, Brian in fact does get in touch with George R.R. Martin, himself. The trick is, Martin has to tell Maxim how A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones ends…and he does. GRRM is a real patriot.

By the end of the episode, Brian gets thrown in the Russian gulag, and it’s Piper who ends up taking her last NZT pill to call Martin’s people and convince the author to talk to Maxim once again. This time, Martin threatens to blackmail the Russian official, and he relents and releases Brian. I guess we now know why The Winds of Winter isn’t yet finished, Martin is doing his best Tom Hanks in Bridge of Spies impression and negotiating the release of Americans from Russian prisons. Well done, our Lord and Master, we salute you.