For those of you who might have been wondering why George R.R. Martin took to his blog yesterday to endorse the third installment of SyFy’s Z-rated movie series Sharknado, Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No, wonder no more. It is not out of character for Martin to blog about other fantasy and science fiction he enjoys (after all, only days ago he was talking about how much he enjoyed the latest Marvel installment, Ant-Man.) But this one was a special case. It turns out he had a cameo.
And as befitting the man who beheaded Ned Stark, threw both a Red and Purple Wedding, and most recently took Jon Snow from us, his turn on the program concluded with him coming to a thoroughly violent end.
The directors apparently really wanted this cameo as part of the movie, and relocated filming to New Mexico for a day to accommodate Martin. Apparently, he originally had a line. Yes, it was, “Winter is coming.” (Because of course it was.) It was cut for time, but we are promised it will be restored for the DVD version.
Sadly, the movie did not include reactions from the cast and crew upon Martin’s onscreen death, but we imagine that Benioff and Weiss would have immediately started working out where sharks could be found along the coast of Westeros and which character they could plausibly send in that direction. The rest of the cast would have disbanded, with Emilia Clarke saddling up Drogon and flying away to parts unknown. Maisie Williams would mutter that the Many Faced God did not care if books were finished before morphing into Jenna Coleman and heading off to film more Doctor Who. And Belfast residents would attempt to approach Kit Harington, sitting in broad daylight in an outdoor cafe, with their condolences, but before they could get out a word, he’d yell, “I’M NOT HERE! NO PICTURES! NO PICTURES!” and then growl like a direwolf until they all went away.
Consider those opportunities missed.