April Fools’ Day meets Game of Thrones, and Sophie Turner has a pronunciation bone to pick
Back in 2009, after missing many, many deadlines for A Dance of Dragons, George R.R. Martin decided to play a harmless April Fools joke. Here’s what he wrote on his his Not a Blog.
"It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with this one, that the writing has been going slowly, that I’ve missed several deadlines. Meanwhile, I’ve delivered several Wild Cards books (ably assisted by Melinda M. Snodgrass) and co-edited a couple of major original anthologies with Gardner Dozois. And then there was HUNTER’S RUN, the three-way novel that I did with Dozois and Daniel Abraham. None of those were solo projects, of course. I had help with every one, a partner. I have finally come to the conclusion that I need a partner for the DANCE as well, a collaborator to help me finish the remaining books in A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE."
According to Martin, the perfect choice was his longtime pal, fellow author Howard Waldrop. The two collaborated in 1963 on a story called “Men of Greywater Station,” which featured sentient fungus, a character named Delvecchio, and a planet called Greywater. (If “Greywater” sounds familiar, it should. Greywater Watch is the ancestral seat of House Reed, which rules the boggy Neck of the North.)
Martin wrapped-up his April Fools post with this bit of brevity that I can only imagine sent the fandom into a widespread panic:
"Howard is as excited as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest at the prospect of us working together again, and has promised to jump right into A DANCE WITH DRAGONS and wrap it all up in a month or two, knocking out the remaining chapters with the same speed with which he’s knocked out his own novels, THE MOON WORLD and I, JOHN MANDEVILLE. He has plans for some exciting new characters as well."
If only, George…if only. The Bearded Bard gleefully continued:
"Wait till you guys meet the mysterious knight with the three dodo birds on the shield and his three goofy serving men!! It’s even possible that the Wanderer himself will make a comeback, which I know would thrill all of you who were reading about him in BATWING and CORTANA back in 1965. Meanwhile, I’ll be in the hot tube with some babes in bikinis, sipping some Irish Mist and watching my TIVO replay of the Giants victory over the Patriots in the last Super Bowl but one. Hey, maybe I should tell Howard to work in a knight called Ser Tyree…"
Oh George, we all appreciate your funny streak. However, I think I speak for a majority of fans when I you not to play an April Fools’ joke on us today—we’ve been waiting for The Winds of Winter for years, and our hearts may not be able to take it.