We know that a new season of Game of Thrones is on because we’re sitting here wringing our hands over the fates of our favorite characters. Well, “favorite” might be a strong word for one of these characters, but still.
Also, SPOILERS are ahead.
So in the last sequence of “Stormborn,” tonight’s episode, Euron Greyjoy attacked a fleet made up of Theon and Yara’s Ironborn ships, which were carrying a number of Dornish soldiers. Euron and his ships sprung from the darkness with a vengeance, and before long, he was on the flagship carrying Yara, Theon, Ellaria, and the Sand Snakes. Spread out next time, maybe?
Anyway, he slaughtered Nymeria and Obara Sand on deck, putting an end to two characters I’m willing to bet a lot of fans forget exist when they’re not onscreen. Tyene Sand, the most memorable Sand Snake, rushed below decks to protect her mother, Ellaria. Although she managed to knife a couple of guys in the junk, they were both carted off by Euron’s soldiers. Remember: the two of them were the characters most closely associated with the death of Myrcella Baratheon — Tyene supplied the poison and Ellaria used it. If Euron is looking to give Cersei a gift, as he promised, they would make a good one.
Helen Sloan – HBO
As for Yara, she and Euron faced off in a hack-and-slash battle, but in the end, Euron came out ahead. Euron challenged Theon to “come get her.” Theon started getting serious Reek flashbacks and flung himself into the water, disappointing everyone.
However, we didn’t see Yara die, and we imagine Euron will keep her alive and do horrible things to her. Because he’s the worst. He’s picked up the mantle of King of the Assholes from Ramsay, and we’re all hoping he dies post-haste.
Next: David Benioff and Dan Weiss respond to criticisms of Confederate
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