Five Best and Worst Moments from “Stormborn”
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN FIVE: One last lousy scene with the Sand Snakes
Even at the end, they couldn’t come up with a good scene for this unfortunate bunch. So this time, the Sand Snakes are girls hanging out in their hammocks arguing about who gets to kill who in Westeros. At least they fought and two died well, and the writers won’t have to find a place to wedge all of them into the story again.
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN FOUR: Nobody had ever thought of a giant crossbow?
Lots of people in Westeros have crossbows, and the we’ve seen some big ones on the Wall. Did it really take a dark mad scientist like Qyburn to come up with building a supersized crossbow to shoot down a supersized dragon? Joe archer could have thought that one up. I was expecting something more devious and unexpected from Qyburn, but, ah well.
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN THREE: Using greyscale for another overdone gross
I thought the greyscale surgery scene with Jorah and Sam was well done. I also liked the Arya-and-Hot Pie scene that followed, but I’m sensing a bit of junior high school humor sneaking into this season of Game of Thrones. Last week, there was the overwrought bedpan-poop-food montage (heavy on the poop), and now the quick cut from Jorah’s oozing pus (heavy on the pus) to Arya’s equally yellowish creamy-goopy piece of pie. Are they getting a little too fixated on the funny-gross here, or is it just me?
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN TWO: Give the girls a break, will ya?
Like Missandei and Grey Worm, the season 7 trailers hinted at a Yara-Ellaria Sand hookup. Missandei and Grey Worm had their glorious moment between the sheets, but poor Yara and Ellaria barely got to first base before the world caved in on them. I cry foul. Couldn’t they have been allowed to have a little extracurricular fun, especially considering what came next?
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN ONE: Will Jon and Sansa please discuss announcements beforehand?
Really? Really? After their squabble in front of the assembled lords last week, I had thought that surely Jon and Sansa would get on the same page about everything before ever making themselves look so at-odds in public setting again. But no, Jon has to blurt out that he has accepted Daenerys Targaryen’s invitation to Dragonstone, and then the obviously stunned Sansa has to square off with him in front of everybody. And will Sansa please stop exchanging knowing glances with Littlefinger? It’s like Jon and Sansa want to screw everything up.
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BONUS VALYRIAN STEEL MOMENT: It was cut a little too fast and too blurry for me, but it was awesome to get a big battle with fire and axes and blood and sea spray after so much political posturing, although that was enjoyable. Berserker Euron and his war axe were suitably wild.
WRAP IT UP AND PUT A BLOODY BOW ON IT: Great episode. Some players are moving their pieces and gearing up for war, and some are already in the thick of it. And with Yara and Ellaria Sand now in Euron’s clutches, we’ve got ourselves the first cliffhanger of the season.