Nathalie Emmanuel talks about the unique connection between Missandei and Grey Worm
By Corey Smith
Sandwiched between the scheming and violence of last week’s episode of Game of Thrones, “Stormborn” featured a tender love scene between Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson) and Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel). The moment of intimacy was a long time coming for the two characters, but it wasn’t without its challenges.
Speaking to The Hollywood Reporter, Emmanuel broke it down, starting by explaining why the pair were attracted to each other in the first place. “Out of all the people who surround Daenerys, they understand where the other one has come from more than anybody else,” she said. “Missandei is asked to teach him the common tongue. It grows from there. It grows from a mutual understanding, and also their vulnerability of being a little bit afraid, and also being afraid together.”
Excepting Varys, who left home long ago, Missandei and Grey Worm are the only members of Dany’s inner circle born on Essos, which must also bind them together now that they’re in a strange new land. They were also both “thrust into freedom” at the same time.
Still, their relationship has built very slowly over the course of the last four seasons, and Emmanuel doesn’t think it could have happened any other way. “It wouldn’t have been truthful to them and the people they are, facing this whole new world and this foreign environment they’ve found themselves in together.”
But even with all that, Emmanuel thinks it took Grey Worm leaving for Casterly Rock to finally push the two to express their feelings physically. “The situation made it happen sooner than it may have happened organically if there wasn’t the threat of war. I really appreciate the writers choosing to do that. It made it so much more of an impact. It made it so much more special when it did finally happen for them.”
Emmanuel had plenty of good things to say about the scene, calling it “very touching” and a “natural progression” for the two characters. But as her first nude scene on the show, she had some trepidations.
"I can’t speak for everybody, but I’ve always found being nude on camera or on a set to be nerve-racking. You are nervous. Also, I was doing this with my colleague and friend. That’s obviously … it can make you very nervous. But I also felt incredibly safe. I trust Jacob explicitly in supporting me and us supporting each other through the scene. I think we did that. And we were in wonderful hands with our director [Mark Mylod]."
Rehearsing and choreographing the scene ahead of time definitely made things easier. “It allowed us to pour our energy into the performance and hitting the notes we wanted to hit, and to show each character’s feelings in the scene and what it meant to them.”
The work paid off in the amount of buzz the scene got, as evidenced by these two tweets sent out by Miriam Webster Dictionary on the night of the episode.
Regarding the mechanics of the sex scene, Emmanuel was coy about Grey Worm’s equipment or lack thereof, but argued passionately that focusing in on that missed the point.
"I read an article this morning about the scene, and this idea that people who are eunuchs aren’t sexual beings — these heteronormative ideas of sex of a penis going into a vagina, like it’s the only way people can conceive sex and sexual intimacy. Obviously we know from the many different types of relationships in the world that penises aren’t always needed. Clearly. (Laughs.) That’s not saying that Grey Worm … we don’t know whether he has one or not. We don’t know definitively what his situation is. The show has chosen not to reveal that, for whatever reason. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter to these two characters. It doesn’t mean they can’t be sexually involved with each other, even if he has no penis. It’s so interesting to me that people are like, “Well, how did they do it?” Well, if you don’t know, I sort of feel sorry for you. (Laughs.) You maybe need to explore some things, because it’s really fun if you do!"
Emmanuel reiterated that it doesn’t matter that the audience didn’t see exactly what Missandei saw, because Missandei didn’t ask Grey Worm to disrobe to see if he had a penis — it was about “seeing all of the man that she loves.”
"She accepts him in his entirety. That’s what it’s about. It’s not about whether he can perform in the bedroom. Even if he couldn’t, up to this point, it hasn’t stopped her from loving him any less. She knows his situation. She came from that world. She knows what the masters did to those boys and she loves him anyway. Their intimacy is something else. It’s an emotional connection, which, for me, personally, is the foundation of any physical intimacy that means anything. It’s a great basis for them to have a physical relationship already, but whether or not the show decides to reveal those details is irrelevant. It doesn’t change how Missandei feels about him. That’s the point, and that’s why they probably chose not to [show it]. I can’t speak for the writers, but that’s the obvious reason for me as to why we don’t know or not: because ultimately, Missandei does not care. She loves him anyway."
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When two characters find happiness on this show, experience tells us to worry. But Emmanuel is hopeful that Missandei and Grey Worm can make it out okay.
"The happiest ending would be that the Night King and his army are defeated and Daenerys becomes the queen, and she rules justly and cares about the people, the way we’ve seen her do already. And for Missandei, she gets to be with the man she loves, and he’s safe and she’s safe. That’s the best we could ask for, really."
Next: Pilou Asbæk: Euron Greyjoy “knows he’s going to die”
Here’s hoping. For now, we just hope they both make it through the next episode, “The Queen’s Justice,” which airs this Sunday at 9:00 p.m. EST.
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