Spoiler note: “A girl says nothing. A girl keeps her mouth closed. No one hears.” —Girls, boys, and everyone alike, Jaqen H’ghar has spoken, so please remember: This recap is primarily for non-book readers. If you’re a book reader, please avoid posting any spoilers here, and instead take those thoughts to our book-reader’s recap. Thank you!
Hot on the heels of last week’s fiery battle, Bronn and Jaime emerge from the water on the opposite shore at a conveniently safe distance from Daenerys’ wrath. They may have gotten away with their lives, but Jaime failed in his goal of “ending the war” by “killing her.” It was a nice effort, Jaime; too bad Drogon blade-blocked you. Jokes aside, the dragons are proving to be as much a threat to the south as the White Walkers are to the North (and the entirety of Westeros, should they get past the northern territories).
This point is further explored as Tyrion walks among the smoking remnants of the battlefield, and the Lannister forces are brought before Daenerys and Drogon, who look formidable. Daenerys demands fealty:
"I know what Cersei has told you. That I have come to destroy your cities, burn down your homes, murder you and orphan your children. That’s Cersei Lannister, not me. I’m not here to murder, and all I want to destroy is the wheel that has rolled over rich and poor, to the benefit of no one but the Cersei Lannisters of the world. I offer you a choice: Bend the knee and join me. Together, we will leave the world a better place than we found it. Or refuse… and die."
And yet the question remains: is it really much of a choice when your options are “You don’t know me, but bend to my will anyway” or “Become human s’mores, which is not nearly as fun as it sounds”?
Some men bend the knee immediately, and more do so when Drogon screeches in their general direction. But not all the remaining soldiers are kowtowed by fear—Randyll and Dickon Tarly rather impressively remain impassive in the face of the dragon and the woman who wields power over it. Randyll seems to suggest that he chose the lesser of two evils when he followed Cersei, as he tells Tyrion. “Say what you will about your sister, but she was born in Westeros. She’s lived here all her life. You, on the other hand… You murdered your father, then chose to support a foreign invader, one with no ties to this land, with an army of savages at her back.”
Now, we learned when we met Randyll in season 6 that the guy’s not exactly the world’s #1 Dad, so he’s not much of a grievous loss. We feel worse for his youngest son Dickon, who the audience doesn’t know well. But all the same, the show made a point to differentiate him from his father in “The Spoils of War,” when he expressed remorse for killing Tyrell men, regardless of the new oaths his family swore. He did his duty, but there is more to his honor than that, and he steps forward to refuse Daenerys just as his father did. Randyll can’t save his son, and Tyrion is unsuccessful in his efforts to spare the men death. Daenerys burns the Tarly men alive, and the rest of the Lannister forces bend the knee upon seeing this tortuous homicide.
Macall B. Polay – HBO
After the Loot Train Battle has been settled, Jaime is back in King’s Landing to report to Cersei. Despite their losses, she remains confident in their ability to defeat Daenerys and her forces, a delusion that Jaime is quick to challenge.
"I just saw the Dothraki fight. They’ll beat any mercenary army. They’ll beat any army I’ve ever seen. Killing our men wasn’t war for them, it was sport. Her dragon burnt a thousand wagons. Qyburn’s scorpion fired bolts bigger than you, they couldn’t stop it, and she has three of them. This isn’t a war we can win."
He then tells Cersei of Olenna’s confession that she killed Joffrey. The rift between the siblings seems to cut deeper now, as Cersei resents the merciful way in which Jaime carried out Olenna’s execution. It’s not a make-or-break argument between them, but another straw on the camel’s back that’s bound to break eventually.
Daenerys too returns home, where she finds Jon brooding on the cliffside again while his cloak snaps majestically in the wind. Drama King in the North, everybody. Daenerys watches from astride Drogon as the dragon gets the measure of Jon, who pets him as he would Ghost if the direwolf got any screentime. But I suppose Jon’s Targaryen side has to get acquainted with the family’s pet of choice, too, as dragons aren’t likely to take to just anybody. Daenerys gazes fondly at Drogon, Rhaegal, and Viserion, and remarks upon their beauty, an opinion Jon is quick to agree with only when Daenerys looks as though she might kill him if he doesn’t.
The pair continue to walk on eggshells around each other—Jon more so than Daenerys, which seems a deliberate move on his part to ensure that he leaves the south in one piece, unlike Ned and Robb before him (a fact which is stressed in the first three episodes of the season). She doesn’t share the details of her time in the Reach, and Jon doesn’t tell her the truth of his death and resurrection, although she fishes for it. He is spared further questions when Jorah arrives on the scene, escorted by the Dothraki, and once again Iain Glen and Emilia Clarke’s chemistry lights up the screen. The most unbelievable thing about this series is that Jorah and Daenerys haven’t made out… yet.
At Winterfell, Bran has a vision of the Night King and his army. Ravens are sent to Dragonstone and the Citadel, respectively, to inform Jon and the maesters of the oncoming threat. Despite Sam’s insistence that they heed this warning, the maesters remain skeptical. They mock Sam for what they believe to be a flight of fancy, or perhaps a trap set by Daenerys to distract the southern armies so she might conquer the Seven Kingdoms. Even if the maesters don’t see the White Walkers as a threat, they do recognize one in Daenerys. They acknowledge that she killed Sam’s father and brother, a fact that Archmaester Ebrose keeps from Sam because “he’s a good lad.” That seems irrelevant to informing someone of a death in the family, but it turns out that everyone in Westeros is shifty, regardless of their noble occupations.
Tyrion and Varys are momentarily distracted from the White Walkers as well, as they discuss the way Daenerys could spiral out of control if they don’t counsel her wisely.
"TYRION: “All rulers demand that people bend the knee. That’s why they’re rulers. She gave Tarly a choice, a man who had taken up arms against her. What else could she do?”VARYS: “Not burn him alive alongside his son?”"
Ten points to Team Varys for talking sense. Tyrion makes further excuses, which Varys continues to challenge:
"TYRION: “I am her Hand, not her head. I can’t make her decisions for her.”VARYS: “That’s what I used to tell myself about her father. I found the traitors, but I wasn’t the one burning them alive. I was only a purveyor of information. It’s what I told myself when I watched them beg for mercy: I’m not the one doing it. And when the pitch of their screams rose higher: I’m not the one doing it. When their hair caught fire and the smell of burning flesh filled the throne room: I’m not the one doing it.”"
Although both men acknowledge that Daenerys isn’t her father, the message here is clear: If they’re not careful, they’ll be doomed to repeat history. If they don’t take an active role, Daenerys will indeed become another mad Targaryen ruler. Personally, I think she’s already well on her way, but as long as the show keeps up the pretense I suppose we’ll have to address it.
Helen Sloan – HBO
Meanwhile, Jon is taking Bran’s visions seriously. After all, once you’ve seen the army of the dead for yourself, your psychic brother is hardly going to faze you. But not everyone believes in the White Walkers’ existence, let alone a young boy’s visions, so Tyrion suggests that they procure proof for Cersei so they might strike a temporary pause in the war for the Iron Throne. Something tells me it’s not going to work, and not just because going on a wight hunt sounds like a suicide mission.
First, though, they have to convince Cersei to grant them an audience. Tyrion and Davos decide to travel to King’s Landing, so that Tyrion might convince Jaime to convince Cersei. The whole thing is a bit convoluted, and involves more back-and-forth travel than you’d think anyone reasonably has time for. You’d also think with all this going on, Jon might as well swing by Winterfell so Bran can drop off his paternity test results; Jon even says “I need to go home,” yet it seems they’re going to milk his secret parentage for all it’s worth.
It’s also decided that Jon and Jorah will lead the raid beyond the Wall, although Daenerys is initially hesitant to allow Jon, her prisoner, to leave Dragonstone.
"DAENERYS: “I haven’t given you permission to leave.”JON: “With respect, Your Grace, I don’t need your permission. I am a king. And I came here, knowing you could have your men behead me or your dragons burn me alive. I put my trust in you, a stranger, because I knew it was the best chance for my people, for all our people. Now I’m asking you to trust in a stranger, because it’s our best chance.”"
How this works in Jon’s favor, I’ll never know, considering he and Daenerys clearly don’t trust each other, nor should they. But I can at least appreciate the fact that Jon’s asserting his authority and peacing out of there.
Helen Sloan – HBO
Not soon enough, though, as the Starks’ bannermen are growing restless within the walls of Winterfell. Lords Glover and Royce both express their desire to declare Sansa their new ruler, but she declines with a diplomatic but firm, “You are very kind, my lords. But Jon is our king. He is doing what he thinks is best.”
This doesn’t appear to be good enough for Arya, though, who would sooner have their heads for insulting Jon as they did. Impatient as Sansa is with Jon, she still supports his claim to leadership, but she must be more practical than Arya’s temper would allow. Within this argument we see the fundamental lessons the sisters learned on their separate journeys from season 1 until now: Arya’s main focus remains on vengeance and distrust, while Sansa is espousing Jon’s ideologies on the importance of a united front. All the same, Arya appears suspicious of her sister’s goals.
Later, she’s spying on Littlefinger, who she sees meeting with an unknown woman, then with Royce and Glover, and later Maester Wolkan brings the man something from Luwin’s archives. Once she’s pulled a successful B&E, Arya finds the message Sansa wrote to Robb in season 1, decrying their father as a traitor to the crown. As Arya leaves Littlefinger’s chambers with this information, the man himself is revealed to be watching from the shadows, confirming that he’s trying to drive a wedge between the siblings. It’s no small wonder, considering Arya’s prowess with a sword and Bran’s ability to give him the heebie-jeebies; plus, Littlefinger’s a creep who wants Sansa all to himself. So it all adds up.
I have to wonder, though, if despite Sansa and Arya’s squabble, this is all some ruse on the Starks’ part to condemn Littlefinger for his crimes. It would be a rather elaborate plot, but considering all the grand tours of Westeros most of the characters seem to be taking, a grand scheme certainly wouldn’t be the most questionable of story arcs.
Macall B. Polay – HBO
Familial tensions aren’t brewing in Winterfell alone. When Davos and Tyrion arrive in King’s Landing, the latter heads to the underbelly of the Red Keep where—at Tyrion’s behest—Bronn has orchestrated a surprise meeting between the Lannister brothers. Considering that Tyrion killed their father, a crime Jaime once swore to avenge, he’s not keen to strike up their old brotherly camaraderie. Nevertheless, Jaime takes Tyrion’s tale to Cersei, who had heard from her little birds of the impromptu meeting, but chose not to interfere.
"I’ve come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have. Dead men, dragons, and Dragon Queens… Whatever stands in our way, we will defeat it."
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? It seems that Cersei’s willing to play nice for deception’s sake. It’s unlikely that this plot will be resolved in the remaining two episodes of the season, so chances are the political game will still be going strong in the midst of the war against the White Walkers. Nobody’s got their priorities straight, Cersei’s pregnant with another of Jaime’s children, and I need a Valium.
Elsewhere in King’s Landing, Davos heralds in the long-awaited return of Gendry, who—as Davos states—we all thought was still rowing. He’s prepared to give Gendry what was probably a well-rehearsed speech about why they need him, but Gendry doesn’t need to hear it. He’s been off-screen for the better part of four years; he doesn’t need a reason to get back in on the action.
Of course, the audience could use an explanation as to what Davos’ plans for Gendry are. After all, he doesn’t seem to think the boy is fit for fighting, nor does he think it wise for Gendry to reveal his parentage once they arrive in Dragonstone (bastard he may be, but the fact that his father is the usurper Robert Baratheon won’t exactly tickle Daenerys pink). But, hey, who I am to look a gift horse in the mouth, right?
Upon their leave, Davos and Gendry are accosted by two men of the City Watch. With the help of a few gold coins and some fermented crab, aka seafood Viagra (where did Davos get that and why does he have it at all?), Davos almost gets the men to leave peaceably. Until, that is, Tyrion shows up in all his scarred, dwarfin glory, which immediately tips the guards off that he’s the queen’s brother with a price on his head. Before they can do anything about it, though, Gendry hits them both with his own medieval Mjölnir, and all is well (except, seriously, what’s with the crab?).
Helen Sloan – HBO
Back in Dragonstone, Gendry ignores Davos’ advice and introduces himself to Jon as Robert Baratheon’s bastard. Their fathers were best friends, after all, and even though neither of them mention their link via Arya, the audience knows well enough. (Why she goes unmentioned remains a mystery. Judging by what we’ve seen thus far, if Gendry had known Sansa, Jon would have laid that boy out faster than you can say lemon cake.) Gendry is jazzed to kick some White Walker ass, because he may not be a soldier, but “I’m a fighter.” Look at Mr. Arya Stark go!
Before the group departs for Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, Jorah and Jon bid Daenerys farewell. She seems to have caught feelings for both of them. Jon responds to her heart eyes by slowly backing away to the tune of “No Scrubs” by TLC. Meanwhile, Jorah looks back at Dragonstone as they leave the shore while a rousing chorus of “I Will Always Love You” plays somewhere in the distance. Could these feelings prove to be an interesting development? I’m gonna say no. We’ve known about Jorah’s from the beginning, and any dalliance between Daenerys and Jon is only going to implode when his parentage and claim to the Iron Throne becomes known, anyway, so really, what’s the point?
Because, as it happens, Jon does have a claim to the Seven Kingdoms, a fact which is revealed to the audience by none other than Gilly. She’s using Sam as a dictionary, which is how we learn that “Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince Rhaegar and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne.”
It’s not total confirmation of the lauded R+L+J (Rhaegar Targaryen + Lyanna Stark = Jon Snow) theory, but it may as well be. Way to throw Elia Martell under the bus, Rhaegar. But what this ultimately means is that Jon isn’t a bastard, but a legitimate Targaryen, and a rightful contender to the Iron Throne.
But there’s little time to dwell on the ramifications of this discovery, as Sam finally succumbs to an emotional breakdown that has nothing to do with his best friend’s own personal Maury episode. Sam has simply had it with the Citadel’s refusal to acknowledge the White Walkers, and he’s done wasting his time. He nicks as many document as he can carry from the library in the hopes that they’ll prove useful in the war, and then he, Gilly, and little Sam get the hell out of Dodge. None of them are wearing sunglasses to express how truly badass this moment is, so our imaginations will have to suffice.
Arriving at Eastwatch as quickly as everyone else apparently travels, Jon, Davos, Gendry, and Jorah confer with Tormund, who isn’t particularly impressed that they’ve got to embark on a wight hunt just to convince two queens of what’s coming. I feel your incredulity, Tormund; in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever related to anything more.
Even if this were a good idea, it’s not all smooth sailing when Tormund takes the men down to the cells, where the Hound, Beric Dondarrion, and Thoros are being held. Considering that the Brotherhood had sold him to Melisandre as a blood sacrifice, Gendry doesn’t trust them. Tormund, in turn, doesn’t trust Jorah, whose father was the former Lord Commander who hunted the wildlings, and Jorah’s not too fond of Tormund’s accusations, either. As tense as things already are, I admit that I want Jon and the Hound to have at it, too, if only because the height difference would make it hilarious.
But for now, the men set aside their personal issues, essentially because Jon’s pushing his save-the-world agenda once again (honestly, that guy…):
"JON: “We’re all on the same side.”GENDRY: “How can we be?”JON: “We’re all breathing.”"
Five episodes down, two to go. Who’s gonna bite it on this suicide mission beyond the Wall? Are Sansa and Arya playing Littlefinger, or is there actual friction between the sisters? How is Cersei planning to double-cross Daenerys? What’s with the seafood Viagra, Davos, why do you have that? Why haven’t Daenerys and Jorah made out yet? Where is Sam headed from here, and how long will Gendry last before he starts rowing again? But, to end on a positive note: We might not have seen Ghost, but thank god Sansa name-dropped him; this is why she’s Queen in the North and of my heart.
Remember—speculation is encouraged, spoilers aren’t! Please refrain from posting book spoilers here! Feel free to discuss the episode in the comments or Tweet me @kattymaj, but don’t ruin any surprises for the viewers who haven’t read the books. While the show has largely diverged from its source material, you never know what details will crop up later. Thanks, and see you next week!
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