Knee-Jerk Reactions to “Beyond the Wall:” Five Best and Worst Moments
FLEA BOTTOM FIVE: No one may die by sinking into the depths. It is known.
First it was Jaime Lannister, sinking into the lake in full battle armor during the Loot Train Attack, and being rescued by Bronn. This time it was Jon, sinking to the bottom of the frozen lake with heavy furs and wight anchors, rescuing himself (and recovering Longclaw, just like Indiana Jones never loses his hat). You can die a million ways in Game of Thrones, but its very difficult to drown.
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN FOUR: Dany needs to lay off Tyrion
In their first scene together, Danaerys tried to be kind to Tyrion, talking about how brave he was. In turn, he kidded her about Jon being in love with her. The conversation pivoted to the Lannisters and Tyrion’s strategies, and it went south from there. And when he brought up the topic of succession, a practical subject in a time of war, she painted him as a turncoat. It was even worse when he later counseled her not to risk her life attempting to rescue Jon’s expedition alone with her dragons. They really seemed to trust each other when she made him her Hand, and she came off as pretty inconsistent and capricious treating him this way.
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN THREE: Sansa sends Brienne away on a fool’s errand
Sansa’s decision to send Brienne off to King’s Landing in her stead is a bonehead move. Her protestations of “I’m not a child” ring hollow when a capable adult would surely not want to lose a steadfast bodyguard with threatening, weird-eyed Arya and Littlefinger sneaking around. Bad move.
Helen Sloan – HBO
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN TWO: why is Biff the wight so special?
Wight Walker lore is scarce, and we were served some new rules in the ambush scene. First, it appears they’re capable of patrolling under the supervision of a White Walker. Kill the White Walker, and they crumble to dust. Well, not all of them. One wight — let’s call him ‘Biff’ — serendipitously survives the destruction of his White Walker. Not sure of the rules there. Biff isn’t strong on his own, but he’s a biter. And look out, because Biff’s a screamer, too.
FLEA BOTTOM BROWN ONE: What is it with weirdo Arya at Winterfell?
Arya comes at Sansa like a banshee right from the start, reading Sansa’s raven message and refusing to accept her reasonable excuses. Arya says “I didn’t betray my entire family for my beloved Joffrey.” Sansa fights back, but she’s rattled — especially when Arya threatens to read the message to the Northern lords. It looks like Littlefinger’s plan is working perfectly, since Sansa came running to him for advice.
And when Sansa was dumb enough to sneak into Arya’s chamber and poke around, of course Arya caught her. Arya lunged into the weird zone after that, all about the faces. If I was Sansa I’d be freaked too.
BONUS VALYRIAN STEEL MOMENT: Dany looked great in those winter whites!
This is pure fan fantasy costume stuff, but Daenerys killed it in her stylish white “northern rescue” winter flying furs. Perfect for straddling dragons on those cold, blizzardy days.
Next: George R.R. Martin talks A Song of Ice and Fire, weighs in on the HBO hacks
Wrap it up and put a bloody bow on it: I’d say “Beyond the Wall” has a bit of a split northern personality: it was brilliant everywhere but Winterfell. The conflict between Sansa and Arya (mostly generated from Arya’s side) feels forced and artificial. The Arya I knew seems to have vanished and been replaced by someone else — someone unpleasant, paranoid and out of character — who is wearing her face.
Farewell to Thoros of Myr. I have a feeling he’ll be joined in the afterlife by a few more characters next week.
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