5 People River Song should meet that she hasn’t yet
BBC, River Song
It looks like Alex Kingston doesn’t want River Song to leave the Doctor Who world anytime soon, and we agree!
Alex Kingston has recently made news talking about people that she wants River to meet. First, it was the thirteenth Doctor, now, she’s told the Radio Times that she’d like River and Captain Jack to meet for an episode — or possibly more than that. Maybe a spin-off? It looks like Kingston has no plans to leave the Whoniverse if they’ll keep her around.
And it looks like they want to, with announcements that she’s recording her third series of audio actions with Big Finish. So, all’s well in River’s world for now!
But this had me thinking. What characters should River meet that she hasn’t yet? What characters would make a great episode with the stunning and sexy character who loves to make people blush?
There’s a load of people, especially given the Doctor’s past, that would definitely make an episode interesting. So let’s assume, for the sake of assuming, we gave River her own series. What five people would be the best guest stars?
I think you’d be surprised at my picks. Or maybe not. You guys know me pretty well.
BBC
The Thirteenth Doctor
I need River to meet the Thirteenth Doctor like I need air. This is 100% fangirling here. I think that sexuality is going to be a big question with the Thirteenth Doctor, and who better to figure it out than with her wife? Obviously, River doesn’t have a problem with it, she’s already dated women before, and doesn’t seem to have any problems.
Can you imagine? River didn’t recognize Twelve, for the reason that this was his second regeneration cycle. But now that she knows he has one, imagine the fun she could get into. She could run into 13, who freaks out because she doesn’t know how to tell River it’s The Doctor, and what does River do? Greet her with a kiss!
Would it make viewers angry? Possibly. Especially those who aren’t happy about the change, and many people also don’t like River. Does it look like I mind as I’m writing this? You guessed it, not really! I think an episode that challenges Jodie and Alex is the best thing to do, it could showcase a real feeling to when people come out for the first time and kiss someone of the same sex for the first time. Especially someone more experienced!
Plus, I think that 13 will be a badass. She has to be! Two badass women, who happen to be married fighting aliens? Give me that any day!
SAN DIEGO, CA – JULY 20: Actor John Barrowman speaks onstage at SYFY hosts The Great Debate during Comic-Con International 2017 at San Diego Convention Center on July 20, 2017 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images)
Captain Jack Harkness
Oh-ho. This might need a special time or an HBO special, but I am 100% here and ready for this to happen. River and Jack haven’t met yet, and it’s a terribly upsetting oversight. But maybe Moffat and Russel T. Davies thought that it would be too much pretty for one television screen?
Or that maybe it wouldn’t be safe for children? I’m going with the latter. I’m sure they would try! But really, could you write a script for these two without one or two jokes that go just a bit over the line? No. River goes over the line by herself, as does Jack. The two of them together would be an absolute one-liner competition to see who could make the audience redder first.
My guess would be Jack. But I know that these two would be sexy, badass fighters. And you know what? Not that I would ever support adultery, but wibbly wobbly timey wimey, who knows when along the timeline they would meet. And then…
Now you’re asking, “Molly Kate! Do you only think about sex when it comes to these two?” The answer is: Look at them, and tell me it wouldn’t be heavily implied throughout the entire episode, dear reader. Bad ass fighters with double entendres for days. Sounds like River, Jack, and Gwen could head up the next Torchwood.
BBC
Missy
Good always has to meet Evil, doesn’t it? And before you say “but she’s dead!” Well, so is River, technically! It all depends on where along the timeline it happens. In this case, for both women.
If River met Missy, I’m pretty sure the world would explode. Does the Master even know that the Doctor’s married? Not if we use season ten as any indication! It looked like the Missy wanted to be more than friends with the Doctor, and imagine if his wife showed up! Remember when Sarah Jane met Rose? I feel like we might have the same situation.
There’s two ways this could go — Missy would most likely be shocked that there’s another Time Lord, even if River’s not fully a Time Lord. Then, she’d be even more shocked that the Doctor went and got married! Most likely, the two would fight it out in an epic fashion that would be the episodes of legends, and then they would go find the Doctor to ask what the hell is going on.]
Run, Doctor, Run!
BBC
Clara/Lady Me
I know that River has already met Clara, but it’s safe to say that since she met Clara with Eleven, she’s grown up immensely. Now the ex-companion is a different person, soaring the universe with Lady Me in her own TARDIS. This is not the same girl who met River in a dream state for five minutes.
I would love River to meet someone who had a huge influence on the Doctor. Clara probably helped the Doctor the most as a companion since Rose. River could never really do that for the Doctor (at least that we’ve seen) because there are too many spoilers. I’m sure River would love a girl’s day out with Clara and Lady Me.
She’ll understand both girls and who knows, even give them some tips on how to decorate and change their TARDIS! After all, how many times do you think River changed small aspects of the TARDIS to let the Doctor know she’d been there?
BBC
Madame Vastra
Another person that we need to explore the relationship with! We’ve only seen River with Madame Vastra once, in The Name of the Doctor. But what would the two be like solving investigations? Vastra is a great investigator, and at times is also a little saucy than we expect from a kids show.
Is she as inappropriate as River? Not that we’ve seen, except around her wife. But who knows what being around River Song would bring? Vastra has already hinted at not minding seeing Clara and Jenny without their clothes on (!) while she was painting in Deep Breath. With River, who’s up for anything, it could be a case of trying to work and keep up with one liners throughout the episode.