Matching 50 Game of Thrones characters with each of the 50 states

Florida: Theon Greyjoy

Bless you, Florida. Why is that when anything crazy seems to be going on in the U.S., it happens in this state? Alligator attacks, people doing bath salts, intense politicians…what kind of unfortunate happenstance is that?

It was easy to match up Florida with the long-suffering Theon Greyjoy. Because Theon was an Iron Islander raised in the North, he always had a tough time finding acceptance, and when someone tried to be nice, he reacted gracelessly. Florida gets a reputation with its surrounding states for being a “yankee” state hidden in the South, and I think Theon could identify with that.

Maybe it’s just a result of this sense of displacement, but everything bad always seems to happen to Theon. For every WTF news story to come out of Florida, Theon is having his genitals mutilated or copping a feel on his own sister. It’s kind of a lot.

Still, I root for Theon in the same way I root for Florida. I want a redemption story for him. There was certainly a time when it was easy to call Theon the scum of the earth, but those days are long gone. Now he’s just trying desperately to make up for a very long list of personal failures. Similarly, I want Florida to thrive. I look forward to the days without yet another disturbing Florida headline and instead some fluff pieces about their great beach weather or Disney World.