Want to risk your life for a pretty crystal that your friend will love? Come to Metebelis 3!
(Image credit: Doctor Who/BBC.
Image obtained from: official Doctor Who website.)
It’s surprising that in Doctor Who, a show with the universe as it’s sandbox, only a handful of planets have been explored over its 55-year history. Moreover, only a small percentage of them have featured an abundance of alien life. My little gadget, the TARDIS TripAdvisor, has located the top five planets to visit if you crave that multi-species social life.
#5 Metebelis III **
Safety rating: 1/5, Scenery: 3/5, Atmosphere: 4/5
ADRENALINE-JUNKIES ONLY. Full of hostile and giant wildlife, Metebelis III is swamped in danger. However, it is habitable in some areas (as long as you leave your pet spiders at home) and the planet itself is dazzling, with a blue moon that gives the surface a gentle tint at the night-time.
Metebelis III is known for its powerful blue crystals with hypnotising effects and the ability to magnify the mind’s power. Stealing one may seem like a good idea, but keep a flying-car and/or hovercraft and/or helicopter on hand, as one day an Eight Leg might be pursuing you for it back!
It’s been a long time since we last visited New Earth. Perhaps it’s time to change that.
(Photo credit: Doctor Who/BBC
Image obtained from: BBC Press)
#4 New Earth ***
Safety rating: 4/5, Scenery: 4/5, Atmosphere: 2/5
Exactly what the future should be. There’s flying cars, spectacular buildings and hills of sweet apple grass, but it still manages to maintain that classic-Earth feel. The planet hosts a mix of interesting species including The Duke of Manhattan, Boekind and Catkind.
However, it is a planet riddled with problems depending on when you go. Get there too early and you’ll stumble into an unethical NHS nightmare; too late and you’ll think the M6 on a Monday morning is a godsend.
Overall, it’s worth a visit. Just don’t be too eager to take the fast lane.
#3 Peladon ***
Safety rating: 3/5, Scenery: 3/5, Atmosphere: 3/5
The castle in the centre of Peladon is their version of the White House, except instead of shifty men in suits and over-lit décor we have gothic drapes and Aggedor. Generally, discussions are about politics—whether that’s joining the Galactic Federation or disputing a miner’s strike.
It may not sound very alien at all. Yet, Peladon is the Brussels of the galaxy, and alien ambassadors from all-over are constantly visiting. Common travellers include Ice Warriors, Alpha Centauri and Vegans (from the planet Vega to clarify, most vegans aren’t aliens!).
Not a winner for “best holiday destination” but if you fancy a little alien-chinwag, a quick trip won’t hurt.
A big fan of insects? Come to Vortis, and you’ll see creatures like you’ll never believe!
(Photo credit: Doctor Who/BBC.
Image obtained from: BBC Press.)
#2 Vortis ****
Safety rating: 2/5, Scenery: 1/5, Atmosphere: 5/5
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You can find Vortis in the Isop galaxy, a world inhabited by totally non-humanoid creatures. The ant-like Zarbi are simple and speechless unlike the butterfly Menoptera (and their woodlice cousins Optera).
Usually Vortis is a peaceful planet and a visit to the flower forests would be like falling down a microscope at the back of the garden. However, there was a time when a creature with enormous force, the Animus, bedded in at the pole of the planet and nearly destroyed it for good. It turned the Zarbi into an army and drained the water: leaving the planet barren, the flower forests destroyed and the creatures at war.
If you visit during the “barren years”, you best seek a silky cocoon to hide away from the evil Zarbi. However, get your timings right and you’re in for an afternoon of wonder. The Menoptera are friendly, welcoming hosts and their version of Strictly is not to be missed!
It barely gets more alien than this!
Our top location to visit! Come and visit Akhaten!
(Image credit: Doctor Who/BBC.
Image obtained from: official Doctor Who website.)
#1 Akhaten *****
Safety rating: 3/5, Scenery: 5/5, Atmosphere: 5/5
Or more specifically Tiaanamaat, the asteroid which orbits Akhaten. A kaleidoscopic marketplace thriving with life—you have Pan-Babylonians, Lugalirakush, Lucanians, Hooloovoo and so many more.
If you visit during the Festival of Offerings (sort of like the space version of midnight mass), you will witness this diverse group of creatures binding together to sing the “Long Song”. Combined with the dazzling sights of the Sun-singers of Akhet, it is truly one of the most exotic sights in this universe.
Yet, Akhaten did recently implode. I have it on good authority that most of the aliens escaped on space mopeds, at the sacrifice of vendor named Dor’een. According to rumours, all that remains since the collapse of the Akhet system, is a crisp autumn leaf.
TARDIS top tip: visit in the past, learn the lyrics to the “long song” (the space version of Kumbaya) and join in the festivities.
Would you like to change the search criteria for TARDIS TripAdvisor? What are the five most dangerous planets? Or the five with the best transport links? Discuss in the comments and I’ll see what the TARDIS TripAdvisor comes up with in the future.