Watch the trailer for Once Upon A Deadpool, FOX’s PG-13 take on its foul-mouthed superhero movie

“Right before Christmas, a good guy in red, is coming to theaters, with his new sidekick, Fred.” Thus begins the trailer for Once Upon A Deadpool, the incredibly self-aware PG-13 version of Deadpool 2, coming to theaters for a limited time on December 12. Deadpool has kidnapped Fred Savage and forced him into a recreation of his role as child-listening-to-Peter-Falk from The Princess Bride. See? Family-friendly. Check it out:

I know the idea of a toned-down Deadpool 2 is a shameless ploy by FOX to rake in every last dollar it can, and this after the R-rated version already made $730 million, but I still kinda wanna see it. And according to Collider, they did shoot new scenes for this version, like that Up reference in the middle of the trailer. Okay, FOX, you can have my money again.

“Fox has been asking for a PG-13 basically since the start in 2006,” Ryan Reynolds says in a little “interview” alongside the trailer. “I’ve said no since 2006. Now, this one time, I said ‘Yes’ on two conditions. First, a portion of the proceeds had to go to charity. Second, I wanted to kidnap Fred Savage. The second condition took some explaining.”

The charity thing is real. For every ticket sold, $1 will go to the charity Fuck Cancer, known for the time being as Fudge Cancer, so it can be present a more family-friendly face for the toddlers seeing Once Upon a Deadpool. Fred Savage approved: “While my participation in this film was anything but voluntary, I am happy to learn that Fudge Cancer will be the beneficiary of this shameless cash grab.”

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In other superhero news, Disney has released a definitive timeline for the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Chronology, beautiful chronology:

  • 1943-1945Captain America: The First Avenger
  • 2010Iron Man
  • 2011Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, Thor
  • 2012The Avengers, Iron Man 3
  • 2013Thor: The Dark World
  • 2014Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
  • 2015Avengers: Age of Ultron, Ant-Man
  • 2016Captain America: Civil War, Spider-Man: Homecoming
  • 2016 through to 2017: Doctor Strange
  • 2017Black Panther, Thor: Ragnarok, Avengers: Infinity War

As Screen Rant points out, Ant-Man and the Wasp isn’t on this timeline, probably because it was prepared before that movie came out, although the post-credits scene establishes it as happening shortly before Infinity War. Now that Disney is acquiring FOX, we may have to locate the Deadpool movies on here soon.

Not coming over to Disney: Aquaman, the movie rights to which are still owned by Warner Bros. The superhero’s first solo outing hits theaters on December 21. WB has dropped one final trailer:

Good for Jason Momoa. Good for fish.

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