WiC Watches: The Magicians season 4
Episode 408: “Home Improvement”
In every season of The Magicians, thus far, there has been at least one episode where the story takes a hilarious turn, and our favorite characters do some silly sh*t just because they can. You can tell while you’re watching the episode that the writers just wanted to have some fun around the midway point of the season, so they throw out the dark and scary stuff and replace it with pure fun. Episode 408, “Home Improvement” was one of those episodes.
We open with Fen walking through the Fillorian forest on a quest to find the mysterious green-hodded figure from her dreams. She quickly realizes she’s not alone, and pulls out her knife and throws it directly at Margo’s face, barely missing her and burying it hilt-deep in a tree. I said that I was glad Fen was getting more screen time, during last week’s recap, and I couldn’t be happier to see she has her very own quest.
Anyway, as you might have guessed, Margo is quite surprised to have a dagger hurtled at her face, and she drops one of the funniest lines in her extensive library of one-liners: “Jesus-based-on-the-novel-Christ-by-Saphire!” Let me tell you, Margo has had some memorable zingers and lines through four seasons of the show, and this one tops them all. Margo is my spirit guide.
Back to Fen’s quest. it’s clear she doesn’t want Margo to tag along because it’s her first ever solo quest and she wants to experience it for herself, but Margo is the High King of Fillory, which means she can do what she damn well pleases. So, the two continue on through the woods, looking for Fen’s hooded dream invader.
On Earth, Quentin is taking a nap on the couch when not-Eliot appears and starts complaining about how bad he feels. “This is not a good morning in America,” he says. You see, Quentin knows the real Eliot is still alive inside his own body, but the monster has control. But if Quentin and the gang can save good Eliot, they don’t want him to come back to a body hooked on every drug imaginable as well as copious amounts of alcohol.
Not-Eliot wants Quentin to move faster and find the next god stone (once he collects all the god stones, the monster can use them as building blocks to create an indestructible body that will never tire, get sick, grow old, or die…you know, like Eliot’s skin suit is doing). Q tells not-Eliot he’s got a lead and that if he does drugs or drinks the deal is off. Not-Eliot is clearly not pleased with the terms of their arrangement but decides to stick to it. He looks at the television and says he’s going to kill some guy on TV.
Since he dropped the Good Morning America line, I can only imagine Michael Strahan or George Stephanopoulos has drawn his ire. Good luck guys, not-Eliot is a messy killer.
Okay, back to the show: Quentin and Kady enlist Lovelady, who used to be called Pete, in order to help them find the god stone. As Lovelady, Pete runs a lucrative black market magic exchange, where super rare magical items can be found. He scrolls through a few photos on his phone and finds what Quentin and Kady are looking for…
…the only problem is, the god stone is part of a dragon’s hoard, In fact, it belongs to the dragon of the East River, and the only way to get an audience with her is through her herald, Harold. They go to the river docks and ask Harold about the stone, but he’s too busy because someone has stolen the East River dragon’s bottle of special magical elixir. Quentin offers to find it for him if he can have an audience with the dragon, Harold agrees, and Q and Kady are off to Brakebills where he believes he knows who has it.
As it turns out, Poppy (Felicia Day) stole the elixir, and she’s got a surprise: she’s super pregnant. Quentin thinks it’s his, and he happily (too happy, as a matter of fact) announces to Kady, Julia, and Penny that he and Poppy are having a baby. But wait, Penny notices something isn’t right, and he spies a dragon egg in a cabinet.
You see, dragon eggs are irresistible to anyone who touches them, making them want to do anything they can to protect the egg until it hatches. Julia looks back at the elixir bottle and notices it is empty, then Kady finds dragon porn. That’s right folks, in the magical world, there are humans who get their rocks off by masturbating to pictures of dragons committing lewd sex acts with each other. Annnnnnd now I’ve seen it all.
So, Kady and Julia quickly figure out the elixir was actually dragon sperm, and Poppy claims to have used a turkey baster to impregnate herself with it. Seriously though, shit is getting weird, y’all. So, by now, EVERYONE has touched the egg and has become super protective of it. Penny begins to clean it by licking it, Poppy and Quentin have named it Falcor, dropping a super awesome Never Ending Story reference and my 15-year-old self is super appreciative of it.
Julia, being a goddess without magical powers, is the only one who can touch the egg, and she grabs it and she and Kady head back to the docks to see if the East River dragon will accept an egg over the now missing elixir. Of course, she does, because the sperm donor is a dragon she has a thing for, so she accepts the egg and gives them the god stone. Mission accomplished. Also, Poppy is really pregnant, but it’s a human baby and not Quentin’s. Disaster averted.
Back in Fillory, Fen and Margo track down the green hooded figure to a rundown house. The figure removes her hood to reveal a cat mask. Margo instantly knows somethings up, but it’s Fen’s quest so she just goes along with it. The hooded lady is supposed to be one of Fillory’s magical questing animals, but a woman in a cat mask doesn’t vibe with Margo and she starts to poke around looking for clues.
The hooded lady wants Fen and Margo to do yard work, and then she’ll reveal what their destiny is. Fen is instantly in and gets to work, but Margo isn’t having it. Finally, she uses some magical vines to capture the hooded lady who reveals the real questing animal they’re looking for can only be found in a dream and its name is…wait for it…Napster. This episode just keeps getting better.
Back at Castle Whitespire, Fen has a dream about her and Margo talking about Josh. Margo says she wants to marry Josh, which lets Fen know that she’s dreaming. Only, here’s the thing: Fen’s dreams have been prophetic, which means Margo probably has fallen in love with plucky Josh, and they’re going to eventually get married. Okay, what is even happening?
Fen tracks down Napster, who turns out to be an actual cat with a human’s body. Since Fen caught her, Napster will grant her the gift of telling her about her destiny. Fen says yes, and Napster tells her that one day soon she will have to stand side by side with High King Margo…and when the moment is right, take her crown at all costs, even if it means bathing the crown in Margo’s blood. Welp, that sucks. Fen isn’t very happy about it, and we don’t even know if the Napster is always 100% right with her destiny predictions. Ugh, I guess we’ll just have to keep watching to see what happens.
Last but not least, we have Alice confronting Zelda the Head Librarian in Dean Fogg’s office at Brakebills. Apparently, Zelda isn’t on board with everything the Library is doing, plus she needs Alice’s help retrieving her daughter from the mirror dimension.
When Alice was killed in season 2 and turned into a Niffin, she did all sorts of horrible things to all sorts of people, places and things. And one of those things was casting powerful spells in the mirror dimension because she knew they would go haywire there and destroy anyone or anything near the caster of the spell. As a Niffin, Alice was invincible, so she did it just to see how much pain she could inflict. Niffins are dicks, you guys.
Well, of course, Alice says shell help Zelda, but only if she will return her friend Shiela, some Library goons kidnapped after she learned she had latent magical powers. Dean Fogg sweetens the deal by making Zelda promise to destroy Shiela’s book so the Library could never find her again, and give Brakebills an extra portion of magic each month, every semester. Zelda reluctantly agrees, and Alice helps her.
In order to retrieve Zelda’s daughter from the mirror dimension, she has to cast a beacon spell that only a mother and daughter can cast together. This means she has to go home and face her mom, who as it turns out, is a bit of a dick. Alice’s mom has been cooperating with the Library, which makes Alice mad, but she tries to look past it and cast the spell.
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They’re having all sorts of trouble making the spell happen, and when Alice’s mom’s friend Carol shows up, we learn that she’s been creating love-voodoo dolls that helps with couples who are having problems. Soon after, two Library agents show up and start banging on the door. Alice thinks her mom ratted her out to the Library, but it was actually Carol that she called them on. Alice’s mom doesn’t think the love-voodoo dolls are safe because they’re still voodoo dolls and that makes them dangerous.
Thinking quickly, Alice gets Carol to use the dolls on the two Library agents, and soon enough, they both start giggling and doubling over, trying to hide the boners Carol is giving their voodoo dolls. See, I told you this was one of those episodes. Anyway, Alice and her mom complete the spell, have a nice bonding moment, and Alice makes good her escape back to Brakebills.
Zelda is pleased and she upholds her end of the bargain, only, Shiela actually likes the Library and has taken a position there. Alice isn’t happy about it, but sees her friend is happy, so she wishes her well.
Of note: We didn’t see who Penny 40 (original Penny) saw on the elevator from last week’s episode, so thanks a lot, The Magicians, I guess we have to wait a whole other week and hope for a reveal then.
This episode was a complete blast, and the writers of the show put on a masterclass in how to have fun and not always take your show and character too seriously, which is something 70% of television could learn a lesson from.