Today’s the day George R.R. Martin gave fans “formal written permission” to imprison him on a lake of sulfuric acid if he hadn’t finished The Winds of Winter. But he found some loopholes!
And so ends a strange story about maybe imprisoning an author on a lake of acid for not writing a book fast enough. Come on a journey with us.
Okay, so in May of last year, A Song of Ice and Fire author George R.R. Martin made a bold proclamation. The author — who has been writing the highly anticipated sixth book in his series, The Winds of Winter, since 2011 — was looking forward to Worldcon, a yearly science fiction convention that was supposed to take place in New Zealand right around…now. “I tell you this,” he wrote on his blog, “if I don’t have THE WINDS OF WINTER in hand when I arrive in New Zealand for worldcon, you have here my formal written permission to imprison me in a small cabin on White Island, overlooking that lake of sulfuric acid, until I’m done.”
For those wondering, yes, White Island is a real place, and yes, there is a lake of sulfuric acid, and no, you shouldn’t visit.
Anyway, Worldcon has come (in virtual form) and we haven’t heard anything about The Winds of Winter being done. So is it time to toss Martin in book jail? What say you, internet?
I have a George RR Martin joke, but I doubt I’ll ever finish it
— Angry Staffer 🌻 (@Angry_Staffer) July 25, 2020
Ah ha, but Martin was clever. You’ll note that, according to what he wrote, the permission to imprison him only kicks in if he doesn’t “arrive in New Zealand” with the completed book. And there’s no reason for him to go to New Zealand if the con is cancelled on account of the coronavirus. Our boy found a loophole!
Martin is still serving as master of ceremonies at Worldcon, he’s just doing it digitally. As for Winds, he’s kicked the can down the road again, as is his wont, saying he’s making “steady progress” but that there’s still “a long way to go.” He’s now hoping to have the book done in time for Worldcon 2021. “I can always visit Wellington next year, when I hope that both Covid-19 and THE WINDS OF WINTER will be done.”
Okay, restart the clock.
Just so things are crystal clear, obviously Martin was joking about the lake of acid thing and no one should use this as an opportunity to call for real violence or make death threats or anything weird like that. And really, aren’t we all in prison during quarantine?
Whoa, he found TWO loopholes.
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