Doctor Who: Why I won’t be dating outside the fandom

Sports affiliations? Global position? Job-title? Unimportant. Dating outside the Doctor Who fandom? Never again.

What are you looking for in a significant other? Would you like sweet nothings whispered to you over a Zoom call? Or an appropriately social-distanced dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant? Perhaps romantic sunset walks on the beach, with the possibility of slipping off your oh so tight face mask at the end of the evening?

It’s not that these things don’t hold a certain allure to us all. Of course they do.

But is it wrong to want something more?

Doctor Who group pages are often filled with the woes of fans seeking to introduce their romantic partners to the Whoverse. Their sweethearts are willing to give the Doctor a chance they say, but only for ONE episode. (This proposition is so often repeated that I’ve personally wondered if they’re all dating the same fickle git!)

Which any ONE episode, pray tell, can summarize 56 years worth of a saga? Don’t blink, because it doesn’t exist. For all of those making the valiant attempt, I wish you well. Sincerely. But…I’m sorry… so sorry…I won’t be joining your ranks.

(Photo by Andrej ISAKOVIC / AFP) (Photo by ANDREJ ISAKOVIC/AFP via Getty Images)

The real question is then whether to find the perfect hook, or locate a better fishing hole

I won’t be apologizing for, or minimizing, my priorities, interests, and passions.

Neither do I wish to explain nor justify why a new Big Finish audio needs to be preordered the moment it is announced, or why a televised marathon is in fact a very good plan for the weekend (as long as it is broadcast in the correct order), or why cosplaying at a con is worth the nuance, time, and expense.

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Without reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, they’d understand why the haunting trill of the theremin is my ringtone, why the 8th Doctor is on my voicemail, why my WiFI SSID is “HelloSweetie!”, and why if I’m ever running (read because a Dalek is in hot pursuit) I’m sure to be wearing an “I run with the Doctor!” tank.

I begrudgingly admit that in-fandom dating is no guarantee of smooth sailing (sadly, some Whovians out there are just as ready to break your heart). And while some may even actively avoid fans (their loss). I still firmly believe that there is a better chance of a meeting of two minds where an appreciation of history and adventure, sci-fi and fantasy is already rooted.

Of course those are not exclusive to Doctor Who. Introduce me to another fandom? Allons-y. I’ll even give it 2 episodes. Jelly baby?

What are your thoughts on in-fandom dating? Do you prefer to cast a wider net? Or do you have your own Whovian tale of romance to share (terrible or triumphant)? Comment below!