How to “fix” House of the Dragon (the story so far)

What the s**t, Criston Cole?

In the first episode, Criston Cole beats Daemon Targaryen during a tournament, so we know he’s a good fighter. And Alicent says he’s Dornish, so we know he’s Dornish. In the second episode, Rhaenyra names him to the Kingsguard. In the third, he and Rhaenyra spend some time wandering the woods, and he seems a pretty decent fellow. In the fourth, Rhaenyra flirts with him and, after some resistance on his part, they sleep together.

In the fifth episode, Criston asks Rhaenyra to run away with him and is so undone by her rejection that he blurts out his secret to Alicent Hightower and then beats a guy to death at a wedding. Huh?

What went wrong

My first problem with Criston’s homicidal turn is that it doesn’t seem set up at all. I mean, dude, I understand you’re upset that your crush doesn’t want to marry you, but you just punched the future king of the realm in the face (a very bad look for a kingsguard) and then beat a guy to death with your bare hands in front of tons of witnesses, all for suggesting that the two of you should work together to protect the king and queen from gossip. Where did that come from?

The best explanation I’ve heard is that at this point Criston wanted to die and let himself go in the hope that someone would kill him. He tries to end things himself afterward, but is stopped by Alicent. Still, the scene smacks of shock for the sake of shock. We couldn’t have seen it coming, which is the cheap kind of surprising.

My bigger problem is that apparently Criston is still around 10 years into the future, which is when we’ll pick things up in Episode 6. So you’re telling me that a member of the Kingsguard can punch the future king consort in the face and then beat an anointed knight to death in front of a huge wedding party and not be sent to the Wall or executed? The only word for that is “ridiculous.” It strains believability way past the breaking point.

How to fix it

So Criston Cole apparently loses his shit because he is torn up about violating his vow of chastity with Rhaenyra. The first thing we need to do is establish that he takes these vows very seriously. Maybe we could see him taking his vows in Episode 2, when Rhaenyra picks him for the kingsguard? Maybe he could talk about them to Rhaenyra in Episode 3? Maybe both? Cause we gotta have something more than what we got.

As for the problem of how in the hell Criston can get away with beating Joffrey Lonmouth to death at a wedding, we can look to George R.R. Martin’s book Fire & Blood. In the book, Criston and Joffrey square off during a tournament a few days after the wedding feast. Criston goes too far and dents Joffrey’s helm, rendering him unconscious. He dies days later.

We saw in the first episode that people can die during a tournament. It might not be pretty, it might not be polite, but it happens. It would make a lot more sense for Criston to be let off the hook if events went down this way. I think the show should have eschewed the feast entirely and have all of these events — Alicent’s entrance, Viserys’ collapse, Daemon and Laena’s flirtation — happen at the tournament. That’s also where Criston could kill Joffrey, closing this massive plot hole.

Onward to the back half of the season!

To stay up to date on everything fantasy, science fiction, and WiC, follow our all-encompassing Facebook page and sign up for our exclusive newsletter.

Get HBO, Starz, Showtime and MORE for FREE with a no-risk, 7-day free trial of Amazon Channels