All 73 episodes of Game of Thrones, ranked worst to best
28. “Stormborn,” Season 7 Episode 2
“Stormborn” was the kind of solid episode Game of Thrones produces on a regular basis. With the exception of the final minutes, nothing in the second episode of season 7 was outstanding, but neither was it terrible. There are plenty of well-crafted moments.
There’s a lot of setup in this episode, from Melisandre urging Daenerys to meet with Jon to Qyburn’s reveal of a new dragon-killing scorpion. Arya and Hot Pie’s reunion was well-written and performed, especially when Arya’s cold facade melted when she learned of Jon’s kingship. Sam’s treatment of Jorah’s greyscale was perhaps the lowlight of the episode, but only for those with weak stomachs like us.
The high point of the episode came when Euron attacked his niece Yara’s fleet. From the moment Euron smashes onto Yara’s ship, he’s a force of destruction. From his brutal murder of two of the Sand Snakes (whom no one will miss), to his maniacal laughter at episode’s end, his glee was infectious.
Then there was Theon’s choice to leap into the water rather than stick by his sister, an emotional gut punch. Watching Theon drift among the wreckage of the Ironborn fleet was a somber way to end the episode, and one that pounded home what a threat Euron could be.
27. “Valar Morghulis,” Season 2, Episode 10
As in The Empire Strikes Back, sometimes the bad guys winning is the best thing for a story. And man, do the bad guys triumph in this one.
After smashing the Baratheon army, Tywin and the Tyrells get all kinds of awards showered on them. Sansa is set aside as Joffrey’s intended in favor of Margaery, though the joke’s on Margaery there, and Tywin gets named Hand of the King. But what about poor Tyrion, you ask? The true savior of King’s Landing is locked away in a closet to lick his wounds without even the slightest thanks. How rude.
Robb breaks his oath to the Freys, and marries the hot nurse who was following around his army, Talisa. Doh.
Daenerys answers the episode-old question, “where are my dragons?” and journeys into the House of the Undying. For budgetary and other reasons, Dany’s visions are kept brief, although in the books they are much, much more detailed. In the novels, Dany has visions of basically every major event in the series, but here she just sees a snow-covered Iron Throne, the Wall, and her unborn son. And then her dragons burn that creepy bald guy to a cinder. Dragons get credit for the save in this episode.
Last but not least, we get our once-a-season glimpse of the White Walkers, this time as they slowly but surely approach the camp of the Night’s Watch north of the Wall. Until Season 5, the show always walked a fine line when it came to these guys—it reminded us that they were out there, but it didn’t oversell the fact that they could easily kill everyone in Westeros, thereby making all the shenanigans south of the Wall totally meaningless. Honestly, good job with that.
26. “Kissed by Fire,” Season 3, Episode 5
Oh, little Shireen. If you only knew the irony of your first appearance on the show coming in an episode name “Kissed by Fire.” Halfway through the third season, we finally meet Stannis’ wife Selyse, who apparently keeps her stillborn sons in jars, and his daughter Shireen, afflicted with greyscale as a child. I guess now we know why Stannis is such a jerk.
The funniest part of this episode occurs when Tywin informs his children of the spouses he has found for them. Cersei is smug and sneering as Tywin informs Tyrion he will wed Sansa, but her smile disappears when she finds out she will be wed to Loras. Misery loves company and what not.
The three best remaining scenes are not-at-all funny, but are of monumental importance to the series. After the Hound defeats Beric Dondarrion in combat, Arya and company are astounded to witness his resurrection only minutes later by Thoros of Myr, a red priest. Wait, red priest and priestesses can raise people from the dead? Hmmm.
Back in Riverrun, my vote for castle I would most like to live in, Robb Stark is floored when one of his bannermen, Rickard Karstark, murders two Lannister boys captured in a previous battle. Richard Madden does some fine work here, shouting down the much older and wiser-looking actors. Like his father Ned, however, Robb always does the honorable thing, and therefore beheads Lord Karstark rather than keeping him as a hostage, thereby losing all of Karstark’s supporters.
While it foreshadows Shireen’s fate, the episode title actually comes from the wildling term for redheads, and the standard bearer for that on Game of Thrones is Ygritte. She and Jon Snow find a cave on their way south, and for the first time Jon breaks his vows by sleeping with her. The relationship is quickly starting to become trouble, because even though Jon’s feelings for Ygritte are genuine, we know Jon will never abandon the Watch. They’re headed for a rough breakup, like ice cream and Netflix for a week rough.
Finally we arrive at the scene where Jaime and Brienne recuperate from their journey across the Riverlands with a hot bath. Jaime confesses to Brienne that the act he is most notorious for, the murder of King Aerys, was actually done to save the population of King’s Landing, as Aerys planned to burn the city to the ground. It’s a startling revelation that completely changes the way in which we view Jaime. Except, oh yeah, he threw a child out a window in the first episode.
Leave it to Game of Thrones to leave us confused about how we feel towards a character.
25. “Fire and Blood,” Season 1, Episode 10
“Fire and Blood” is the epic finale to the wonderful first season, and had a lot to do with launching the series into the stratosphere.
News of Ned’s beheading by that Joffrey kid spreads far and fast in this one. When Robb finds out, he attempts to hack a tree to pieces before collapsing into his mother’s arms. If you don’t feel for Robb and Catelyn in this scene, call your doctor. Catelyn walking through the Stark camp, every man bowing their head to her, as she tries to keep her composure is strong stuff.
In King’s Landing, Joffrey is in full-blown bastard mode as he shows Sansa Ned’s head on a spike. Sansa contemplates pushing Joffrey off the tower, officially marking the moment many fans started to like her, but unfortunately the Hound stops her and we all have to suffer through his reign for another three seasons. Also, Ned’s head on a stick is now the most popular dessert item at Game of Thrones parties.
Daenerys has the hardest time of it, though. Waking up after passing out during the struggle to save Khal Drogo, Dany discovers that not only has she lost her unborn child, but that Drogo only lives in body, not in mind. Dany smothers her husband rather that see him live as a husk, and orders a funeral pyre built. As Drogo’s body burns along with her dragon eggs, Dany walks into the fire. When the flames finally die down, Dany sits naked with three newborn dragons clutching her. And the series has officially jumped to the next level. If baby dragons can’t get you to tune in next year, we don’t know what will.
Next: The Broken Man