All 73 episodes of Game of Thrones, ranked worst to best
4. “The Rains of Castamere,” Season 3, Episode 9
It was very hard not to rank this as the best episode of them all—the only complaint that can be made against it is that it played out exactly as book-readers expected. Side note: if you are looking for a good time, google “Red Wedding reactions,” and watch as book-readers record the reactions of show-only fans. Endless fun.
We could talk about other things that happened in this episode, but really it’s all about the Red Wedding. I recently guided a new fan through the series, one who won’t even look at movie posters for fear of being spoiled, and even he knew there would be a wedding in the series and he wouldn’t like it. That’s how much this episode has pervaded the pop cultural lexicon.
Robb, Catelyn, and the rest of their crew arrive at the Twins for the wedding of Catelyn’s brother Edmure to the only Roslin Frey, an apology for Robb marrying Talisa rather than the Frey daughter he was promised to. At the reception, all seems normal until the musicians start playing “The Rains of Castamere,” and the Freys kick off the Red Wedding properly by knifing Talisa in her pregnant belly half a dozen times.
Viewers are given a half second to process what just happened, and then arrows start flying and swords come out and the Stark host is quickly cut to pieces. Robb takes a couple bolts to the chest before Catelyn holds a knife to Walder Frey’s throat. For a half minute, viewers hope that Catelyn’s threat to kill Mrs. Walder Frey if he doesn’t let them go will work, but then Walder Frey says he can always find another wife. Robb takes a knife through the heart courtesy of Roose Bolton, and Catelyn has her throat slit before the screen fades to black.
No music accompanies the credits, as we are left to sit, cry, scream, throw pillows at the TV, and generally wonder why the hell we are in such an abusive relationship with this show. But after the anger subsides, we begin to appreciate that we are not watching Friends, and that anyone (and in this case everyone), can go at any minute.
Extra credit goes to the producers, who cleverly peppered the song “The Rains of Castamere“ throughout the series so viewers would associate it with the Lannisters. Looking into the song’s history, you realize it’s a song about not messing with Tywin Lannister. Ever.
Catelyn’s pleas for the life of her firstborn are probably the hardest part of the episode to watch. It hits you like the blade through Robb’s heart, and afterwards, all we can do is make like Catelyn and collapse, unable to take anymore.
(Until next week.)