All 73 episodes of Game of Thrones, ranked worst to best
51. “The Ghost of Harrenhal,” Season 2, Episode 5
Everyone remember that shadow demon/monster/creature birthed by Melisandre? Of course you do; it was pretty damn weird. Well, here we find out exactly what its purpose was: to kill King Renly as he prepared for battle with his brother Stannis. Brienne and Catelyn witness Renly’s murder. They flee, since no one will believe them, and Stannis marches in and takes control of Renly’s army, but not before the Tyrells take off, presumably back to Highgarden. Or do they? Littlefinger does his best to sway the golden roses to the Lannister cause, but what they do next is left unclear.
Meanwhile, Tyrion is running around King’s Landing preparing for whichever Baratheon brother shows up, and decides that a substance called wildfire, which sounds an awful like naplam, will turn the tide in the Lannister’s favor.
Dany is wandering around Qarth begging people for money and ships to take her home to King’s Landing, something she seems desperate to do in this season. Once she gets the money to buy ships and what not in later seasons, she seems to forget King’s Landing. Funny, that.
Arya remains Tywin Lannister’s cupbearer in Harrenhal, and their scenes together are the best part of the episode. Arya has yet to realize the super secret assassin in her back pocket could be used on someone important, and instead has Jaqen kill one of Tywin’s soldiers killed. That’s like using your first of three wishes on a ham sandwich.
50. “Winterfell,” Season 8, Episode 1
The show’s final season premiere is a pretty standard episode of Game of Thrones, and that’s the way we like it. There’s a lot of political jockeying at Winterfell as Sansa and her followers try to adjust to the arrival of Daenerys Targaryen, the queen their king has chosen whether they like it or not. We also get some wonderful interpersonal moments, with the long-awaited reunion between Jon and Arya being a particular highlight.
But the character who steals the show is Samwell Tarly, who finds himself far more distraught than he probably figured he would be after learning that Daenerys executed his father and brother after the Loot Train Attack in season 7. That sets the stage for him to tell Jon the secret of his birth, and nothing can ever be the same.
“Winterfell” also sports a few big set pieces. The first is the best: Daenerys and her party arrive at the Stark home base in all their glory, fascinating the townsfolk with their grandeur and terrifying them with the giant flying murder machines they’ve brought north with them. Later, there’s a creepy scene at the Last Hearth where Tormund Giantsbane and Dolorous Edd find little lord Ned Umber stabbed to a wall, not dead but undead, screeching as he dies in fire. It’s an unsettling reminder of the threat the White Walkers pose to everyone in Westeros.
Then we have Jon and Daenerys’ dragon-back joyride through the North, which feels like a scene sliced out of some big-budget romantic comedy and grafted awkwardly onto Game of Thrones. I get that the writers need to establish that these two love each other before their romance falls apart, but I shouldn’t feel them trying this hard.
But overall, this is a solid outing. Oh, and the whole thing ends with Jaime Lannister pulling up to Winterfell only to find Bran Stark, the kid he pushed out a window in the series premiere, sitting in wait for him. It’s a delightful big gulp of a final moment.
49. “Oathkeeper,” Season 4, Episode 4
This mid-season episode takes its name from the sword Oathkeeper, made from Ice, the Stark family sword melted down by Tywin Lannister at the top of the season. Oathkeeper is initially given to Jaime Lannister, who passes the sword onto Brienne in the hope that she’ll be able to find and protect the Stark daughters. The notion of Brienne protecting the Stark girls with Ned’s old sword has a nice ring to it, and the fact the she’s empowered by a Lannister gives it an ironic twist.
Speaking of Jaime, sending Brienne off is not the only time he splits from the family game plan. Although Cersei is convinced that Tyrion killed Joffrey, Jaime remains loyal to his brother, which is touching. It seems all Jamie had to do to become a semi-decent person was lose a hand. Jaime has essentially been the only one to ever be kind to Tyrion, and its refreshing to see that kind of relationship on a show as reliably bleak as this.
Two other major events occur in this episode: Daenerys conquers Meereen, the last city in Slavers Bay, and perhaps the only one we care about, as it is the one she will occupy for two seasons. Can she please just sail to Westeros already?
Last but not least, we witness Craster’s final infant son carried into the far, far north by a White Walker, where it is placed on an altar, and converted into a baby White Walker by the Night’s King. Creepy.
48. “Valar Dohaeris,” Season 3, Episode 1
Even show producers have noted that the first episodes of each season tend to be constrained from having to “catch up” with our favorite characters, and the Season 3 opener has a bit of that. We get updated on what everyone has been doing since the Battle of the Blackwater, and like that first day at school after summer break, nobody seems to get any actual work done.
Samwell Tarly miraculously survived an army of wights walking around him, and joins up with fellow survivors of the massacre as they head back south to the Wall. Elsewhere in the far north, Jon Snow meets Mance Rayder. When asked why he wants to join the wildings, Jon gives a pretty lame explanation about fighting for the living, but Mance buys it. In the books, Jon says he felt disrespected in Westerosi society because of his bastardy, which seems more reasonable, but we can’t have everything.
Everybody else is basically up to what they were doing at the end of last year, although we do get an extended conversation between Tywin and Tyrion that establishes just how much Tywin hates his youngest son—he calls Tyrion a punishment inflicted upon him by the gods, and refuses to name Tyrion heir to Casterly Rock. So I guess Father’s Day is cancelled this year? And all the years after…
Margaery is another highlight in King’s Landing. Her strategy for ruling for subjects—which involves being, y’know, nice to them—is very much at odds with the “power is power” style Cersei has been employing for seasons now. It’s fun to see the two bounce off each other. So yeah, not a terrible episode, more of a yawn than a nap.
Next: Oathbreaker