All 73 episodes of Game of Thrones, ranked worst to best
47. “Oathbreaker,” Season 6, Episode 3
Hopefully we’ve made it clear that just because an episode is ranked low doesn’t mean it’s a bad episode. “Oathbreaker” wasn’t a terrible hour of TV by any means, but often felt like a setup episode for the later half of Season 6.
The best parts of this episode took place at the Wall, immediately after Jon Snow is brought back to life. We get some fantastic dialogue from Ser Davos, as the Onion Knight helps an understandably shocked Jon come to grips with being back among the living. Seriously, if something terrible ever happens to me, I want Ser Davos to give me a pep talk. He’s the Duke Evers of Westeros.
Away from the Wall, Bran does some time-hopping and watches his father Ned and his boys get the ever-living crap kicked out of them by Ser Arthur Dayne at the Tower of Joy. If we are picking the biggest badasses in the Seven Kingdoms, Ser Arthur Dayne goes number one in that draft. It was also interesting to get a tease of Jon’s origins in the same episode as his rebirth, which brings us back to the Wall.
Jon’s execution of the Night’s Watchmen responsible for his death was powerful. Jon doesn’t seem as eager as when he executed Janos Slynt back in Season 5, and the last words of Alliser Thorne actually made you feel a tiny bit of sympathy for Jon’s nemesis. Not so much for that Olly kid.
46. “The Wolf and the Lion,” Season 1, Episode 5
We jump way back to another mid-season episode, this time from the first season. On the whole, major events are lacking in this episode, but there are some fantastic scenes that make it entertaining overall.
In King’s Landing, we get some comic relief when Ned informs King Robert that he is both too fat for his armor and too fat to participate in a melee. The fun between Ned and Robert stops quickly, however, when Robert learns of Daenerys’ pregnancy and orders her killed. Ned refuses to be a part of it, almost as if he sympathizes with the Targaryens for some unexplained reason, and resigns as Hand of the King.
We love Ned for refusing to kill fan favorite Dany, but like all his decisions, it only gets him in more trouble. Deciding to investigate one last clue as to why the previous Hand was murdered, Ned is ambushed by Jaime Lannister outside a brothel. Jaime’s guards quickly overwhelm Ned’s, but then its onto the main event.
Ned and Jaime square off, and though the fight is short, its exciting to see such vaunted warriors face off. Ned’s contempt for Jaime is clear in the episodes before this, as is Jaime’s arrogance, so its satisfying to see the two square off. Alas, the fight is short-lived, and Ned is stabbed through the leg by a Lannister guard. Better luck next time Ned!
Lastly, in a completely original scene, Robert and Cersei have a brutally honest conversation about their marriage, their rule, and the Seven Kingdoms in general. It’s one the best non-book scenes in the series, and both actors give it their all. Cersei confesses to actually feeling something for Robert once, although Robert cannot say the same. On repeated viewings, you understand that this is Cersei saying her goodbye to Robert, having finally decided to have him killed. Just a fantastic scene overall.
45. “Garden of Bones,” Season 2, Episode 4
This is one of those “eh” episodes. It’s necessary for plot development, sure, but not exactly setting the continents of Essos and Westeros on fire. It does have a moment at the end that made even a minister friend of mine text “WTF just happened?” (Which is about as close as he ever gets to cursing.)
Catelyn is down in the Riverlands trying to play referee between the Baratheon brothers, who are both vying for the crown now that big brother Bobby B bit the dust. Stannis is not capable of bending to anyone, and Renly is having too much fun being a king, so Catelyn’s pleas are in vain, and the Baratheon brothers agree to disagree, which in Westeros means slaughter one another.
Littlefinger shows up in Renly’s camp, sowing chaos wherever he can, but this time he comes bearing gifts: Ned Stark’s bones. I mean, that’s nice and all, but you are basically the reason Ned is dead, Littlefinger.
Daenrys arrives at Qarth, another city in the desert, and is brought inside by a member of the ruling council. We can’t wait to see where this goes. (It goes nowhere, so I guess we could have waited.)
Onto that WTF moment: Davos rows Melisandre ashore near Renly’s camp, where she squats in the mud and gives birth to some sort of shadow monster/demon/idk thing. Labor went pretty smoothly, but we are still wondering what the hell just happened. Melisandre is so weird. Don’t ever invite her to a baby shower.
44. “The Pointy End,” Season 1, Episode 8
Lots of quick but good scenes occur in this episode, so let’s hit them rapid fire shall we?
Tyrion, Bronn, and the Hill Tribes meet Tywin Lannister, Tyrion’s father. Tyrion attempts to introduce Bronn, son who, now? “You wouldn’t know him.” Lines like this are why producers have gone out of their way to put Bronn in any storyline they can.
At Winterfell, Robb “calls the banners” which is Westerosi speak for getting all your boys together to go cause a ruckus. Robb intends to ride south and make war on the Lannisters, and we as fans wish him nothing but luck. Hope that works out for you, Robb.
In the Vale, Catelyn pleads with her sister to send her army to assist the Starks, but Lysa refuses. As always, Catelyn serves as a voice for the audience, and expresses her anger that her own sister will not help her.
Up at the Wall, we begin to get a vague hint of the actual biggest threat to the Seven Kingdoms, and it’s not Joffrey’s inbred temper. A reanimated corpse attacks Lord Commander Mormont, but luckily for the Old Bear, Jon and Ghost arrive on the scene and light that guy on fire. Instant promotion for Jon.
Across the Narrow Sea, in the Dothraki Sea, which is made of grass, and is not actually a sea, Khal Drogo and his horde are rounding up slaves to pay for the trip to Westeros. After Daenerys orders the horde to cease raping women, one of Drogo’s lieutenants challenges Drogo to a duel. We aren’t quite sure what the dude was thinking, but have you seen Drogo? Guy looks like he eats elephant hearts for breakfast. Anyways, it doesn’t end well for the lieutenant, as Drogo rips out the guy’s tongue with his bare hands.
We also get one of the the best scenes of the season as Syrio Forel defends Arya from Lannister guardsmen, and we hear this great exchange for the last time in the series:
Syrio: “What do we say to the God of Death?”
Arya: “Not today.”
Next: The Kingsroad