Game of Thrones vet Kristian Nairn recalls the emotional experience of filming Hodor's death scene

Game of Thrones was famous for its death scenes, and few death scenes hit quite like Hodor's, which came in the season 6 episode "The Door." The gentle giant played by Kristian Nairn was the mascot of the show; he only knew one word, but it was enough. Everyone loved him, and he died pushing back on a roomful of zombies so that his friends Bran Stark and Meera Reed could escape with their lives. And this scene played out over a flashback where we learned that Bran, in a roundabout way, was responsible for Hodor's mental handicap in the first place. It was tragic, moving stuff.

Nairn writes all about it in his memoir Beyond the Throne: Epic Journeys, Enduring Friendships, and Surprising Tales, available to buy now. Wired has a full excerpt all about this particular scene, starting with Nairn's pangs of emotion as he talks to Isaac Hempstead-Wright, who had played his scene partner Bran Stark since the beginning.

"“Kristian!” Isaac also rushes up to say hello, but I notice that he doesn’t run to hug me. Immediately, sadness surges through me. I haven’t seen him for months, but what’s obvious is just how much Isaac has grown. He’s 15 now. Fifteen! He’s also nearly 6 foot tall. My rational brain kicks in. Would I have wanted to bear-hug anyone at that age? Categorically no. But it’s also weird to think of our first day together when Isaac used me as a human climbing frame and smashed my iPhone in the Paint Hall. What a journey we’ve been on since then …"

For years, Nairn had to carry Hempstead-Wright on his back, since Bran lost the use of his legs early in the series and the massive Hodor basically became his means of transportation. Nairn is 6'10", but lifting a six-foot-tall 15-year-old is still very different from lifting a much smaller 10-year-old. By this point in the show, a lot of the shots where Nairn is heaving Bran around are done by his stunt double Brian, which left Nairn free to concentrate on Hodor's big death scene.

Apparently, concentration didn't come easy. "I feel suffocated by the enormity of everything that’s expected of me," Nairn writes. "Jesus fucking Christ, Kristian. You need to be on your A game, I tell myself, but I’m agitated, so much so that [episode director Jack Bender] notices I’m struggling.

"“Are you OK?” he asks after a few takes, which I’ve barely managed to get through. “Are you having difficulty?”

“Yes, it’s awful,” the words tumble from me. Hodor’s subtle tics used to come easily to me, but now I’m tying myself in knots trying to express them. I explain to Jack the mad journey I’ve been on for the past year, and the personal journey I’ve been on, too. I’m finding stepping back into inhabiting someone other than myself very hard. Then I stop. Did I just say all of that … to a director I don’t know? I think. Years ago, I would have kept silent, like when my back was breaking in the Great Hall. I stop talking and watch Jack’s eyes carefully. Is he going to understand? Help me work this out? Or dismiss me and move on?

“OK, just take it easy,” he smiles.

“I’ll be fine, but everyone might need to be a bit patient,” I say quickly. Jack gives me a shoulder squeeze.

“Just relax. It will all come flooding back,” he reassures me."

Eventually, that's exactly what happens. "Jack is right, just like John Ruskin had been years ago. And after a while, I do start to remember: Do not overthink Hodor; do not overthink your performance. As the morning wears on, Hodor reappears like an old friend."

Nairn didn't get to meet Sam Coleman, the actor who plays his younger self, since his scenes had been filmed a few days before, although Bender did show Nairn some outtakes of Coleman's performance so Nairn could pitch his performance to match. As we all remember, it went off pretty flawlessly.

Although there were tricky bits behind the scenes. At one point, Hodor pushes open the eponymous door so Bran and Meera can escape the Three-Eyed Raven's cave and make their getaway from the army of wights headed their way. There's snow and debris on the other side, so it had to look like opening the door was difficult. But Nairn is such a massive dude that it kept looking too easy on camera. So Jack Bender kept ordering more and more people to get on the other side and push back against him. In the end, they needed eight people pushing back against Nairn to act as a counterweight.

It all came out wonderfully! Since then, Nairn has appeared in shows like Our Flag Means Death, a charming pirate comedy that you can stream on Max, just like Game of Thrones.

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