Let's dreamcast the movie adaptation of Joe Abercrombie's Best Served Cold
By Kyle Silagyi
Castor Morveer — Mark Ruffalo
I’ll start this part with a colossal “hear me out.” Mark Ruffalo is not a name commonly mentioned by those who have dabbled in Best Served Cold dream casting, and given his name recognition, his hypothetical association with the project is likely a pipe dream. That said, I genuinely believe he would deliver a film-stealing performance as Castor Morveer.
A poetic poisoner who considers himself the victim of constant unrelenting circumstance, Morveer is a comical character whose ego and grandiosity result in the frequent humorous moments and failed relationships. He speaks with a vocabulary that suggests a feeling of superiority, a poshness that prompts his peers to keep him at a distance. Simply put, he’s as pompous as he is pathetic.
On paper, Castor is quite similar to Duncan Wedderburn, the braggadocious world-galavanting antagonist of 2023’s Poor Things. Ruffalo earned critical acclaim for his turn as Wedderburn, even earning an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
I hadn’t associated Ruffalo with Morveer throughout my initial reading of Best Served Cold, but after seeing Poor Things, I’m having difficulty imagining anyone else in the role. Reading Morveer’s dialogue in Ruffalo’s Wedderburn voice just seems natural. Casting the four-time Oscar nominee as the weaselly hired hand would provide Best Served Cold with some star power, and Ruffalo himself could deliver a film-defining portrayal.
Honorable Mentions: Hugh Grant, Simon Pegg, Peter Capaldi
Day — Beanie Feldstein
Day is a rather innocuous character, one who isn’t given too much characterization throughout the Best Served Cold novel. Her ability to sink into the crowd is one of her defining traits, with her intelligence and down-to-earth demeanor helping her succeed as Morveer’s apprentice. While she’s occasionally funny, readers know little about her aside from her affinity for fruit.
An unknown actress could likely be cast and thrive as Day, assuming the role isn’t further fleshed out for the screen, but if I need to dream cast a known performer, Beanie Feldstein seems like a good fit. A versatile actress who has found success on both the screen and stage, Feldstein possesses the acting chops necessary to elevate the character from ancillary to memorable. I think back to her performance in 2017’s Lady Bird; though very much featured in a supporting role, her heartfelt outing is arguably as memorable as that of Saoirse Ronan or Laurie Metcalf.
Honorable Mentions: Mia Goth, Kathryn Newton, Brianna Hildebrand